Episode Report Card Erin: B+ | 114 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Papa, Can You Hear Me?
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 2003.11.23
Spy Daddy's Super-Secret Storage Warehouse of Weaponry. The Boys enter and throw Sloane down onto a table in the center of the room. Jack shouts at Vaughn to get some 4x4s. Vaughn goes to some huge cabinet at the end of the room that's filled with medical supplies. So, it would seem that, in addition to millions of Saran-Wrapped stacks of moola and a mini-arsenal that rivals anything Osama Bin Laden might have tucked away beneath a mountain, Spy Daddy also maintains a well-stocked makeshift operating room. Man. The only well-stocked makeshift ANYTHING my father kept was his model ship-making studio in the basement. I don't really think that would have helped me out if one of my boyfriends had been shot en route to the Burger King in downtown Lake Forest.
Jack cuts away Sloane's shirt as he groans and grimaces. Vaughn keeps pressure on the wound as Jack tells Sloane to breathe. As Vaughn applies pressure, Jack pulls out an ampoule and a needle. Vaughn's all, what's that? Jack's all, morphine, dude. Vaughn's all, hey, I want a hit as much as the next guy, but don't you think we should wait until AFTER we get this bullet out of Uncle Arvin? Jack's all, duh, dumbass, the morphine's FOR Uncle Arvin. Sloane pipes up, "No! No morphine! I'll go into anaphylactic shock!" Jack's all, dude? We have to dig the bullet out! Sloane's all, you gimme that shot and I'll be dead before you hit the bullet! "And don't get any ideas," he grunts. Heh. Yeah. That death-by-morphine thing is SO going to be significant later.
So, no morphine for Uncle Arvin. Vaughn pockets the ampoule for later use, you know, just in case he runs into Courtney Love at The Viper Room or something. Vaughn and Jack strap Sloane down to the table to prevent him from thrashing. "Give him your belt to bite down on!" Jack orders. "Oh, I don't need a belt!" gasps Sloane. "Well, we don't care what you need or don't need," says Spy Daddy. "If Vaughn takes off his belt, his pants might fall down and that's more important than your needs at the moment." Vaughn shoves his belt into Sloane's mouth, and Sloane clamps down. Vaughn grabs a light and shines it down onto Sloane as Jack starts to extract the bullet. Sloane screams and chews on the belt. Vaughn just watches, hoping that nothing like this happens at his and Syd's wedding because that would really ruin the moment. Sloane passes out and Jack removes the bullet, dropping it into a tray. Ew.