Episode Report Card Owen: D | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Animal Pragmatism
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.09.2000
Parking lot. Prue bitches about having to carry the snake crate, while Piper carries the rabbit. They walk towards a car. Don't ask me how they know which one is the stolen vehicle, but they do.
Inside the bar. A bulldog laps up a martini, so Phoebe tells him in pig latin to "ix-nay on the iquor-lay." Because she's (natch) a moron. More bad blue screen effects. Phoebe tells "everyone" to "remain calm."
Parking lot. Prue telekinetically forces open the trunk. The hard Ps see unconscious Blonde and Red inside. They feel for pulses. The girls are alive, but need medical attention stat.
Inside the bar. Yet another Hallmark Moment from Phoebe: Undo the magic acted here/ Reverse the spell/ So all is clear. Flash powder and a quick edit. The bar patrons are human again.
Parking lot. Flashes of light appear in the animal crates. Snake Boy and Rabbit Boy jump out to attack the hard Ps. Prue shows Rabbit Boy the telekinetic hand, and Roger Moores, "Back off, Thumper." Snake Boy grabs Piper from behind and tries to bite her neck. Prue tells her to "hold on." She flings Snake Boy, holding Piper, against the side of the club. They fall back to the ground. Snake Boy, dazed, releases Piper. Rabbit Boy leaps toward Prue, who kicks him away. Piper slams Snake Boy in the balls with a two-by-four, asking him "how it feels to be a man now." Then she freezes the ani-males, suggesting that they re-position "Mr. Poison" next to "Thumper" so they attack each other. Prue has "a better idea."
Cut to a police car in front of the club. Darryl cuffs the ani-males and puts them in the backseat of the squad car. Rabbit Boy is happy to be "human for good now." Snake Boy tells him to shut up. The car pulls away. The Ps watch with their arms folded, faces smirking. In case we didn't GET IT, Prue states that the ani-males will now be "treated like humans." Phoebe adds, "And caged like them, too." Darryl expositions that Phoebe's friends are at the hospital, and they'll be okay. He won't ask the Halliwells how they were found. The Ps walk back into the nightclub blathering about Valentine's Day and their dates.
Inside the bar. Janice caterwauls about the "search for love." Phoebe dances with Bedhead. Prue provides the Lesson of the Day about learning "how exhausting not having a job could be." Piper tells her to go bus a table. Once again, GO PIPER! Prue ignores this, and continues to prattle about her discovery that she "likes being busy, but [needs] to find what [she] loves being busy at." Piper: "Speaking of getting busy, check out little sister." They look over at Phoebe and Bedhead. Prue just hopes she "doesn't do eighties dancing." Whatever that means. Prue goes home. Cut to Bedhead and Phoebe. He notices a stray feather stuck in her hair and plucks it out. She makes up a lame excuse for it being there. Bedhead doesn't say anything, probably assuming that her head's stuffed with them.