Episode Report Card Owen: D | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Animal Pragmatism
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.09.2000
Dormitory Hallway. Blonde, Brunette, and Red are walking toward their room; Brunette, worried, wants to solve the ani-male problem by "turning them back." Blonde and Red remind her that they'll turn back on their own accord when the spell wears off at midnight. They enter the room. Snake Boy, Rabbit Boy, and Pig Boy are sitting on the sofa looking at the Hallmark Book of Spells. Snake Boy demands to know how long they will be human. The girls admit that the ani-males have "twelve hours left." Snake Boy tells them to "fix it" because he wants to "stay like this." Rabbit Boy concurs. Blonde says that she "might know how." She tells them about her friend Phoebe, and shows them the P3AD VD Party flyer. Red tells the ani-males that they might be able to find Phoebe at her house. Brunette doesn't think any of this is a good idea. Snake Boy tells Blonde and Red to "go ahead, we'll catch up." After they leave, Snake Boy and Rabbit Boy grab Brunette while she shrieks. Way to look out for your friend and roommate, Blonde and Red. How endorphin-addled are y'all?
Wow. I thought the random testing of the vocabulary skills of lingerie models ended in failure months ago. Now we have Laetitia, who thinks the word 'desire' "could mean everything." That's okay, sweetie, brains aren't all that. Just remember: if you ever need a million dollars, you're sitting on it.
Hallmark Store (natch). Phoebe and Piper walk in, carrying designer coffees. They check out the card display. Piper's looking for a card for Leo that says, "You used to be my White Lighter, but now your wings are clipped and you're sleeping in my club." Phoebe suggests a card that says, "You snooze you lose, now I'm sleeping with the neighbor." Owen suggests a card for this show's scriptwriter that says, "My deepest sympathies on your loss of talent." Phoebe spots a big display of the Bewitched books of spells. The docile Ps look at the book, and complacently patronize silly mortals who "try to mess with magic and not pay the consequences." Phoebe flips to the "Create a Mate" spell. Piper wonders if "normal people" could make the spell work. Phoebe's few lonely synapses fire, and she realizes what might have happened to her friends. She tells Piper that she's going to call Prue. Piper goes back to the card display. She picks up a Hallmark that has a drippy watercolor illustration of a heart on the cover, with the declaration, "For You." Inside, the card states, "Always." Piper thinks, "Now that's a card," like it's a real spicy meatball. She puts it back, and grabs a hokey "To a Dear Friend" card instead. She walks away. Leo walks up to the card display and picks up the "For You -- Anvil, er, Always" card. Hmmm.