Episode Report Card Strega: B+ | 173 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Escape From Wedded Bliss
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 11 | Aired on 2000.07.22
Quick flashback to: Scorpius torturing Crichton, the Farscape zipping through a wormhole, Crichton spitting on himself ickily, and more torture.
Crichton blinks as Scorpius greets him with a warm hug, exclaiming, "I have traveled a long, long way just to see you again!" As their embrace ends, Crichton whispers, "Go away, Scorpy. It's over. Find another girlfriend." Scorpius tells Crichton not to let the Empress intimidate him and pats his shoulder supportively before taking a few steps away. The Empress leans in and smugs, "My daughter, or that abomination. Choose." Wait, if he doesn't marry Katralla, he has to marry Scorpius? That's open-minded of them. The Empress joins Scorpius a short distance away. A shell-shocked Crichton walks back to Katralla, who sympathetically tells him that what momma wants, momma gets. Crichton asks what Katralla wants. "To be Empress. To have children. To keep the peace for my people." He asks, "Even if we're miserable for the rest of our lives?" Katralla assures him that she won't make him miserable. They look at each other for a moment, and she adds, "I'm sorry." Crichton glances over to the black blur of Scorpius in the distance, and then says, "Princess Katralla, will you consent to marry me?" She will. She kisses his cheek and gives him a warm hug. Scorpius smiles benevolently. Crichton craps his shiny, tight leather pants.
The sun sets over the palace, which means it's time for some pedebickering. Sure enough, here come Crichton and Aeryn. He says he has no choice: "Rock. Me. Hard place." Aeryn suggests: "Fight. Retreat. Remain silent." Crichton counters, "Scorpius. The Empress." I suggest, "Shiny. Tight. Leather." Aeryn consolingly notes that Katralla is pretty and wealthy. Aeryn, I already did adjectives. And mine were better. She adds, "Think of all the power you'll have." Crichton grumbles that it's all he can think about. "That and how I'm gonna get off this planet the way I got here: single and alive." Aeryn unenthusiastically says she'll see what he can do.
They're interrupted when the Mudhoney-dude who hit on Aeryn earlier shouts, "Congratulations." Poor guy, he forgot to put a shirt on before he slipped into his bathrobe. He finally introduces himself as "Dregon Carsinova, cousin to the crown," and Crichton obligingly shakes hands. Dregon turns to Aeryn and smarmily asks, "You would be...?" She says, "Extremely preoccupied," and exits with Crichton. Ouch. They walk on, and Crichton tells Aeryn, "Seemed like a nice guy." Aeryn tells him to shut up. There's a brief discussion about how Moyais still missing, Scorpius is still creepy, and Crichton is still scared. Dregon lurks in the background, presumably checking out Aeryn's ass. Or, possibly, Crichton's. Oh, wow, Dregon appears to be wearing Birkenstocks, which explains Aeryn's reaction to him. Crichton begs Aeryn to find another bridegroom. They stop, and Aeryn looks back to see Dregon make a little bow and leave with one final glance back at her. That was a nice touch. "And if I can't?" Aeryn challenges. "Better wed than dead," Crichton says. Aeryn makes a "hmph" face and leaves. She is amazingly childish in this episode. Even for her. I love her, but really.