Episode Report Card Strega: B+ | 173 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Escape From Wedded Bliss
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 11 | Aired on 2000.07.22
Landing bay. D'Argo confides in Crichton: "My life has been one crushing disappointment after the next. But with this girl, I have managed to find moments of pleasure." And Crichton almost got to witness one of them. The boy-talk pauses while Aeryn and Chiana pass by. When they're out of earshot, D'Argo adds, "Don't blow it for me." Hee. Crichton insists that he's happy for D'Argo, and D'Argo heads out after Chiana. Crichton wonders, "How come I'm always last to know?"
Planetside, everyone's found their way to a bar. The natives are dressed in white, like it's one of those creepy parties from My Super Sweet 16, and they're drinking from little vials that look like Sorry! pawns made of glass. Rygel and Aeryn exposit that these are "breakaway colonies" that, well, broke away from the Peacekeepers thousands of years ago. Crichton bustles up and asks if Aeryn will talk to him if he buys her a drink. Aeryn sniffs, "You mean now that Chiana's occupied? Made a run at Zhaan, yet?" Crichton is rescued when a brunette sidles over and sips from the magic vial. She holds the vial out for Crichton, and he says, "No, no, I stopped raving years ago." Oh, honey, you're never going to stop raving. That's your purpose on this show. She insists, "It doesn't hurt you. It's just for the kiss." Crichton looks at Aeryn, who gives him a "I know you won't..." look. Naturally, Crichton decides to taste the potion, and he and the woman touch their tongues together delicately. Crichton says, "No taste -- kinda like an old --" and alas, we'll never know what it's like, because the woman pulls him in for a deeper kiss. Aeryn gulps her drink as the kiss finally ends. The woman says, "Sorry," and exits. Aeryn leans in and says, "It's a whole world designed for your rutting instincts." On cue, a guy who looks like the lead singer from Mudhoney approaches and holds a vial up toward Aeryn. Aeryn quickly declines, and adds, "Try [Crichton]; he seems to love kissing." Mudhoney-dude obligingly turns to Crichton and presents the vial. Crichton's not interested and turns to find another girl is offering him a vial. One kiss later, she gives him a disappointed look and leaves. Crichton chirps, "I am never leaving this world!" I like how oblivious he is to the reactions of the women.
We pan over people dancing goofily, and this is where I always start having Buck Rogers flashbacks. If they were on roller skates it would be perfect. A woman offscreen says, "Clavor, my sweet, there's a Sebacean down here your sister hasn't kissed yet." We move up to a small gathering on a catwalk. Wow, so this is basically the Bronze in 2080. There's a chick wearing some kind of Faberge egg as a mood-necklace. And also a Scarran. Scarrans are what happened when H.R. Pufnstuf heard about Altamont. This particular Scarran is angry because 1) he's a Scarran, 2) his name is Cargn, and 3) he thought visitors weren't allowed. Oh, and 4) he's trying to work in some more expository dialogue into what's already a rather dense episode. See, the dark-haired, weaselly dude he's talking to, Clavor, is brother to the still-unseen princess. The Faberge chick is Clavor's girlfriend, Janavia. With that out of the way, Cargn reminds Clavor that, "[the princess's] chemical compatibility is irrevocably altered. You will be king." Got that? No, you don't, because we don't know what the hell's going on, really. Relax. All will become clear eventually. Well, clear-ish.