Episode Report Card Jeff Long: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Innovation
By Jeff Long | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 11.30.2004
After the break, we see Daniel describing his design. He made a long coat out of butcher paper. He likes the butcher paper because it reminds him of "suede or taffeta." Two totally different fabrics. Great, Daniel. He says that he has more style than Starr. Was that necessary? Poor Starr. Her dress looks ridiculous, but it still looks like some of her other work. None of the materials has been transformed, though. It looks like an aluminum paper skirt with a tissue paper bodice. I wouldn't say it doesn't have style, though. Daniel's an asshole. We hear Starr describe her design. "My dress is really gaudy, and I'm feeling like it's pretty disgusting." That breaks my heart. It is hideous, though. The dress. It looks like something from Return to Oz. And not in a good way.
Tim Gunn enters the workshop, and everyone seems glad to see him. ["As they should, because he's awesome." -- Wing Chun] He checks out their pieces, first asking Kara Saun what will be happening with the bustline of her design, because there's nothing there. She informs him that she will be using paint on the model. He seems intrigued. When she tells him that the model doesn't know that her ta-tas will be painted, Tim laughs.
Vanessa's design looks largely unfinished (it's a full-length gown), and Tim reminds her of how much work she has left to do. In an interview, Vanessa says she doesn't want to look "shtyupid" on the runway. I'm afraid it's the model who is going to look stupid. The gown does look really unfinished. Lots of fishnet and trash bag. Can't wait until she adds the crawfish.
Tim remarks that Daniel has made a lot of progress. I think he's just being nice, because it doesn't look good. Daniel says, "I'm imbuing the spirits of Picasso and Marcel Duchamp." Now, Daniel has an accent and I'm not sure if English is his first language. So, I can forgive his misuse of the work "imbue." Otherwise, my question would be, "You're imbuing their spirits with what? The majesty of your stupid manila envelope coat?" No, you're imbuing the coat with the spirit of Picasso and Duchamp, or so you say (but I'll get to that in a second). I wouldn't even care if he wasn't sounding so pretentious; but, anyway -- English probably not his first language, can live with misuse of word. What I can't live with is that his statement is wrong. I can see how maybe Picasso has some influence on the coat, mainly because it's butt-ugly. (I apologize to Picasso lovers who think his work is pretty. I love it too, but it is ugly.) Duchamp, however, is not represented in this dress. Unless, of course, Daniel is trying to weasel out of the fact that he has not successfully transformed that butcher paper in order to make it look like anything but butcher paper, and wants to call it a ready-made. I don't give him that much credit, though. I think he's just trying to attach his work to some successful abstract idea and hoping that will carry his nasty-looking coat to victory. I don't know why I'm getting so wrapped up in this. Anyway, Daniel continues to give Tim Gunn a load of crap about how everyone can be elegant if they just find the purity in the design. Tim is enough of a gentleman to not call Daniel an impostor on the spot. In fact, Tim goes as far as to say in an interview that Daniel has a "seduction" about him. Essentially, Tim politely implies that Daniel is all talk and that, when you look at the work, it's not there. When Tim suggests that the coat looks too much like butcher paper, Daniel's reply is, "It is butcher paper. That can't be helped." What a huckster. Then, he tells Tim that he can't talk anymore. Tim gives him a look of support masking confusion, and walks away. Robert sees this and replays it during his interview. Tim looks stunned.