Episode Report Card Jeff Long: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Innovation
By Jeff Long | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 11.30.2004
At the Renaissance Chicago Hotel (in, yes, Chicago), there is a different set of judges. A Heather Matarazzo lookalike emphatically tells the judges that she is a struggling artist -- the underdog -- who needs a chance. I love how she knows how to encapsulate her entire existence for the three judges. We see a judge ask a hip-ish young guy if he has sold any of his work, and he replies, with crazy eyes, "Yeah, I been sellin' stuff. I sell it out of my trunk."
In New York, they hold the interviews at the Soho Grand. A mixture of old and newer judges is there. One hysterical little guy wearing his own creation, which appears to be a derivative of Cremaster imagery, is asked, "Who besides yourself do you see wearing this?" The guy answers with a smile and a shrug, "Björk." Ripping off her baby daddy ain't gonna make that happen. The judges tell one foppish guy that they would like to see what he can do. "You won't be sorry," he informs them.
The final leg of the search takes place at the Fontainebleau Hilton during a rare hurricane-free day in Miami. We see a matronly woman with one of those silver hairstreaks being told that she is a finalist. She starts cry-laughing. Outside of the audition room, we see her on her cell phone telling someone, "I made it! I made it!"
We see a room with all of the judges, plus Heidi. They are reviewing the contestants' work. I'm guessing that when they told the cry-laugher that she was a finalist, it meant that she would have her stuff reviewed by all of the judges. Michael Kors looks at one piece and says, "Slinky, slinky." It's fun for a girl and a boy. Heidi tells us that the finalists were narrowed to the twelve best. We see quick shots of the finalists, all of whom are sitting with several ominous mannequins in the background. The cry-laugher is included among them, as well as the foppish guy who won't make the judges sorry.
Heidi tells us that, each week, the designers will be given a different challenge to test their abilities. She says "abilities" like my four-year-old nephew does. While she is over-voicing, they show clips from what I assume is the entire season; there's lots of stitching and a little screaming.
"Top names" in the fashion industry will be judging the results of each of the challenges. We see Nina Garcia, the fashion director at Elle, tell someone that his or her work looks "unfinished." We see Michael Kors, who could use a break from the sun or his bronzer or mud -- whatever it is he is putting on his face. He tells someone, "I look at the fur, and right away, I'm like...I'm in Prada Land." He says this with a sour look on his face, but you know he'd love a fashion amusement park.