Episode Report Card Jeff Long: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Innovation
By Jeff Long | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 11.30.2004
Tim tells everyone that they have to be out of the workshop at midnight, and the background music is this menacing underwater gong sound.
At midnight, we see a glimpse of everyone's designs. Wendy has a teeny tiny bodice made of candy, but I see no skirt. Nora's looks pretty good. Austin's is beautiful. The cornhusks look kind of like feathers, and he's created a really beautiful woven bodice and a flared skirt out of them. It looks like something you could do with ostrich plumes. "What a night," Austin says as they leave Parsons.
The next day, Starr interviews that she doesn't want to go home. Too bad, Starr, because naked-from-the-waist-up Kevin says that though he hasn't seen your piece, everyone is saying you're going home.
Robert says that he is wearing black because today will be like a funeral for someone. "We'll be going home...in a garment bag," he jokes. Robert has a pretty good sense of humor.
At Parsons, Tim tells the designers that they have two hours to fit their models with their dresses. "Make it work!" he demands, with a faux-serious look. Everyone starts dashing around frantically. Tim informs us in an interview that because Austin's dress wasn't refrigerated, it has shrunk: "Instead of corn husk, they are corn chips." It's pretty gross-looking, but the shape is still there, so I think Austin will be okay. It was a great idea; he'd better get some credit for that.
After a half-hour of the fitting period, Kara Saun explains that her model hasn't arrived yet. It's a problem, because, remember, she will be painting her model's mosquito bites. Mario tells Kara Saun just to go to the street and find a model. That seems like really shitty advice to me. ["'Shitty,' yes -- which is why exactly that was a challenge on the extremely shoddy Runway rip-off The Cut last summer." -- Wing Chun] I'd wheel out one of those camera-hungry mannequins first. But, Kara Saun goes to the street. Commercial break.
After the break, we see Kara Saun talk to one girl with a backpack on. The girl seems totally incredulous from the get-go. She must not be American, because it's a rule here that you lose all need for dignity when confronted with a camera crew. Kara Saun drops Heidi's name and tries to lure her to the Project Runway Dungeon. She's not having it. Fucking Canadians.
Finally, Morgan, Kara Saun's model, arrives. Outside, she tells the cameras, "My mom is out of town. She usually wakes me up." Sweet Jesus. Morgan walks into the workshop while on her cell phone, and Tim gives her the beat-down of the century: "Morgan. This is really bad. Really bad. Poor Kara has crashed and burned. She's out on the street, literally looking for another model." It was so shaming and perfect. I love this moment so much. For real, though: bitch is late, blames it on her mom, then walks in on a cell phone while wearing her fucking sunglasses?! I hate that. And then, Wendy goddamn Pepper walks over and starts consoling a now-crying Morgan. She's crying because her agency just dropped her for being...yes, late. How long has your mother been out of town, lady? So, I guess being thin and beautiful and having an easy-ass job aren't enough for you, huh, Morgan? You also need your own personal fucking time continuum? You could have fucked over some girl's career! I can't believe she's crying right now. And, I really hate Wendy for consoling her. Sorry, I'm just a stickler for punctuality. Kara arrives and does not look pleased. She stops the crying and gets on to business. In an interview, she says, "Morgan. Sweet girl, but tragic." Amen. Kara Saun seems to be back on track.