Episode Report Card Demian: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Coyote Not-So-Ugly
By Demian | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.10.2001
P3. Flunkies hang a "Reunion Party" sign as a bottle-blonde bitch snipes about the "wrinkles in the middle" of the banner. Prue and Piper enter in mid-pep-talk, which is cut short when Piper recognizes the bottle-blonde bitch as "Missy Campbell, homecoming queen." Prue again reassures Piper and moves to join Justin at the bar. Piper approaches Missy, the Bottle-Blonde Bitch, and introduces herself. Not as "Piper Halliwell, the owner of the club which is quite graciously hosting both the reunion and your dark roots, you pathetic sow," but as "Piper Halliwell, the geek you had Chemistry and English with." Well, not exactly in those words, but close enough. You can almost hear Piper's spine slithering down her leg to slink across the floor and hide in a dark corner at the sight of the B-BB. The B-BB makes an entirely uncalled-for remark about Piper's complexion having cleared up, and asks Piper if she uses Accutane. Instead of telling this cooze into which orifice she can cram her attitude, Piper makes meek noises about it being ten years and all. Piper then offers to help with the set-up. The B-BB tells her to take out the trash. Piper should start with Missy.
Prue, watching all this from the bar, moves to initiate the smackdown on the B-BB, but Justin holds her back, telling her that Piper "needs to find her legs on her own." And her spine, while she's at it. Justin reminds Prue of the time when Piper ran for freshman class secretary and got so flustered that Prue had to finish her campaign speech for her. Prue calls Justin on the Phoebe thing earlier. Justin replies that Prue "plagued" his high-school years, and that "a guy's got to turn the tables every ten years or so." Sparks of newfound lust fly between the two as SlutAndrew makes his/her/its way down the stairs. SlutAndrew scopes out the club as Justin and Prue banter a bit more. Justin reveals he keeps the same sort of list of characteristics for potential dates that Prue does.
Before Prue can move in for the mack, however, she catches sight of Piper tussling with the garbage. Prue crosses to Piper, asking her what she thinks she's doing, that she owns the club and should tell someone else to take out the trash. Piper makes some more tiresome noises about "feeling like [she's] sixteen again" around her former classmates. Prue offers to beat them all up, one by one. Piper shrugs this off, and announces she'll take out the garbage and try to regain her composure. Prue heads back to Justin at the bar. SlutAndrew, realizing this is his/her/its chance to get one of the sisters alone, grabs a carving knife from the bar and stalks his/her/its way out to the alley.