Episode Report Card Demian: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Coyote Not-So-Ugly
By Demian | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.10.2001
Credits. No Darryl, which bothers me not in the least. No Cole, which means this episode is going to be painfully long.
Fade up on Piper's boudoir, where an array of rejected reunion garments lies scattered across the bed. Prue's remade Piper in the image of a sleekly successful businesswoman. Her hair is pulled neatly back into a bun, and she wears a tasteful black jacket and skirt with a delicate strand of fine, cultured pearls at her neck. In other words, Prue's given Piper the same makeover the Republicans attempted when they tried to de-lesbianize Mary Cheney for the convention last August. However, whereas Mary Cheney looked like a trucker in drag, Piper actually looks very good. I hope Mary Cheney doesn't read this and decide to hunt me down. She could beat me up. Anyway, Piper evaluates her look in a full-length mirror and suggests they go back to the "Betsey Johnson cool club-chick look." Prue snarks that they could also wrap Piper in a bed sheet and send her into the reunion as a Hare Krishna. This leads to more reunion angst from Piper, and when Prue reasonably wonders why Piper cares what the gang from high school thinks, Piper shoots her down with, "Only a former cheerleader would ask that question." Sisterly banter, with Prue ordering Piper to have a good time, Piper claiming Prue "is not the boss of [her]," and Prue countering with a "yes, I am." Piper then asks Prue about her date the prior evening, which Prue claims was a disaster due to her paramour's halitosis. Piper promises she'll scope out the reunion for former football players appropriate for an ex-head-cheerleader. Insert your own "dirty knees" joke here. Prue insists that younger men are not on her agenda.
Phoebe wanders in at this point, looking for her glasses. The fact that she's gone back to wearing her glasses, combined with her general appearance -- she looks like she's been shagged backwards through a hedge, and not in a good way - means we're supposed to realize she's still pining away for that sweet little demonic ADA of hers. When Prue and Piper tell her they haven't seen them, Phoebe mutters a "nuh" and wanders bleakly back into the hallway. Prue and Piper skitter after her, inviting her to join them at the reunion that evening. Phoebe begs off, claiming she has schoolwork to catch up on, and tells them she'll be spending the evening at the library. Prue tells Phoebe again that if Phoebe needs shoulders to lean on in this troubling time of hers, her sisters are there for her. Phoebe replies she knows that, but she thinks it would be better for her to figure a way out of her current funk on her own. Phoebe pauses to compliment Piper on her appearance, and leaves. Prue and Piper project Looks Of Concern at Phoebe's retreating figure.