Episode Report Card Wing Chun: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Yeah, Just Like Tomatoes
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 11 | Aired on 10.22.2006
As they walk out the front door, Nancy asks Conrad how he knows that stuff. Conrad: "The Daily Show." Heh. The chat doesn't last long, though, as Peter emerges from the shrubs, hits Conrad on the back of the neck with the butt of his service weapon, and pins him to the ground with his foot on Conrad's chest, gun trained at his face. Nancy is silent with shock as Peter demands the marriage certificate: "Or your boyfriend here is going to be just another dead nigger drug dealer!" Nancy manages to get her breath and tell him it's too late: she sent it in. This is not good news as far as Peter is concerned. "Why are you doing this?" Nancy whines. Peter turns on her with a bitter squint: "Because I'm Agent Wonder Bread." Snap. Anyway, in the absence of a marriage certificate, Peter has a backup plan: Nancy and Conrad will sell their harvest to a single buyer, and give Peter all the money. Then, she's going to do her best to make sure Peter never sees her again. "All of it?" whispers Nancy, trying not to cry in front of him. Peter says that if she'd rather have her payday, he can send her to prison instead -- and if he goes down with her, it'll serve him right: "Because I laid everything on the line for you, and you fucked me." Oh, come now. You fucked each other! Throughout this exchange, by the way, Conrad is dead silent, his face closed down, stoic at the discovery that everything he feared about working with Nancy has finally come to pass.
Once Peter has staggered off, an irate Conrad gets up off the ground and asks her for her phone. Nancy, still frozen in terror, fumbles in her bag for a second (been there; why is it that when you're looking for your lip balm, all you can find are fifty-eight pens?), but Conrad is in no mood and tears the bag off her shoulder, dumping the contents on the ground. When he locates the phone, he smashes it on the sidewalk, shrieking, "You hear me now, motherfucker? You hear me now?!" Dude, take it easy. Just put him in your Five.
Chez Hodes. Dean is sleeping the sleep of the just, hugging his pillow, and awakens to see Celia sitting at the foot of their bed. He asks if she slept in the guest room the night before, and she says no. He asks where she was, then, and she replies, "Fucking Doug." Misinterpreting her use of the gerund to mean the adjective instead of the verb, Dean asks, "What did he do now?" "Me," says Celia wistfully. Dean doesn't get it, so Celia announces that she's leaving Dean for Doug. Dean is incredulous: "Doug hates you!" "Doug loves me," says Celia. "...Now." Dean STILL can't believe it, but Celia thinks he should have expected it: "You are so the kind of guy this stuff happens to." Dean finally reaches the "acceptance" stage, and asks how they're going to tell Isabelle. Celia says that they'll tell her together. But there's no need: Isabelle has heard the whole thing, and yells from another room, "I wanna live with Dad!" You can't muffle sound in a house made out of ticky-tacky.