Episode Report Card Djb: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Oh, Crap!
By Djb | Season 4 | Episode 2 | Aired on 06.19.2004
"Formica: a durable plastic laminate used in kitchen furnishings. Developed as an electrical insulator as a replacement for the silicate mineral...Mica!" That was by far the best dictionary reading I've ever heard. I want Arthur to record Webster's on Tape. And perform it at Webster Hall. For an audience of just me. Hi, Arthur. Sorry about last week. Let's never fight again.
Meow Mix after dark. Claire and her two new friends sit around a table, Claire complimenting Edie on her performance. Edie is contrite about how crappy and derivative it was, and even though here it reeks of "love me love my art" false modesty, at least Mena's got the language of the artistic apology down pat after Loser. And The Musketeer. And...well, here you go. Anyway, she apologizes for how "self-indulgent" it was and tells us that her job is to "do the work, stay out of the results." Talk quickly turns to Claire's photography, and Edie tells Claire that she should start working when she feels the shittiest, because that's when "your guts are all raw and you don't need to waste too much time thinking about it." She's just so secure with herself that she knows the worst thing that could happen if you do crappy work is that "some asshole could make fun of you," adding, "I'm sure there are plenty of people here making fun of me." Ooooh! It's so hard to type with both hands emphatically thrown up in agreement.
David finds Nate in the office, sitting in the dark, and asks him how he's doing. Nate pretty much answers in the aggressive negative, shooting back, "Every death that comes through here feels like her dying all over again." David notes again that it's only been a few months, but Nate says that it hasn't gotten easier for even "five fucking minutes." This is going somewhere, isn't it? Apparently, it is: "I'm not cut out for this. You're cut out for this. Dad was...I'm not. I am not cut out for this." Oooooh, quitting is happening. Nate apologizes to David, who just shakes his head.
Brenda is alone in her bed as ninety days dictates she must be, and she's interrupted from a book she's reading by the sound of extremely loud sex noises coming from above her. This inspires her to pick up the phone and look for a Theroux line in this relationship, and Joe answers after one ring, sounding resolutely non-orgasmic. But he plays along, telling her when she asks if it's him, "I can't help it. Fantasizing about making love to you is even better than actual sex with most people." She asks him what he's wearing because this is totally phone sex except with a reeeeeally convenient location, and when he tells her he isn't wearing anything, she tells him to "come over in that." He asks if she's joking, and upon her response of "Maybe not, but come now before I change my mind," the phone instantly goes to the dial tone that happens when people hang up on you on TV. Joe runs totally naked out of his apartment, and Justin Theroux's body is startlingly cut. Almost to the point where it makes me nervous. "Well," he tells her upon arrival across the courtyard. "Ball's in your court, so to speak." They fall into a mad, soap-opera embrace with the swelling of music and the strewing of rose petals. And, if they enjoy eating after sex, there's always the ability to make omelet by grating some cheese on his...well, his freakin' anything.