Episode Report Card Niki: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Scarlet Letter Jacket
By Niki | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.04.1999
I like hot dogs.
Anyway, the woman hands them each a sheet of paper, explaining that they're the schedules for working the carnival. She says they should be happy -- they're working the popcorn booth together. Grace tries to play it cool, but you just know her heart's lodged somewhere near her voice box.
Soliloquy Gracie pops up with an eye roll and a healthy dose of bitterness. She says she once saw a picture of Lily in high school, and "you could just tell she was, like, perfect." Would any of us expect anything less?
We cut to the accused, strolling hand in hand with Zoe amidst the carnival preparations in the schoolyard. She's smiling and does, indeed, look perfect. They find Grace in one of the stalls, hanging stuffed animals from the ceiling. Lily says they need to get going because Zoe has homework. Zoe hoists herself over the counter into the booth, claiming that she doesn't. Lily concedes, saying that they can stay a little while longer.
Back to Soliloquy Grace, who's still griping. She says she finds it hard to believe, given how beautiful Lily was, that she has any idea what Grace's "life is like, at all." With yet another bilious eye roll, Grace bitches, "Everyone loves her and wants to talk to her."
Back at the school, Lily approaches Naomi, who's busy working on some booth. "Well, you're a better parent than I am," Lily jokes, slinging her arm across Naomi's shoulders. "Well, I should hope so," Naomi retorts. She asks whether Lily's any good with a hammer. Despite her Bob Vila-inspired getup of denim on denim, Lily admits that she's not so good with the tools. Shocking, no? Naomi thrusts the hammer at her anyway. A couple of other women join them in the booth and almost immediately start talking shit about some woman who isn't there because her ex-husband is a selfish scum-sucking rat bastard who went camping for the weekend. Or something. Then they start pecking away at another woman who had a face lift that went decidedly wrong. Lily is shocked to hear the woman had surgery: "She's so beautiful!" "Not anymore," Goody Gossip snipes, and seems satisfied the vain bitch got what she deserved. Nice.
Soliloquy Lily takes to the Stool, reminiscing about her picture-perfect, bobby-socks- and-pompons high-school existence. "Time of my life," she remembers, smiling. Then she turns to the camera and says, straight-faced, "Totally alone." She chuckles wryly.
Lily and Naomi stroll away from the gossip mongers, and Lily asks whether the two of them are like the Goodies when they dish behind other people's backs. Naomi assures her that they only show "care and concern when [they] talk about other people." Lily hesitates and then cautiously asks whether the Goodies are already talking about her. Naomi says no, scrunches up her face and reassuringly adds, "But it's only a matter of time."