Episode Report Card Niki: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Scarlet Letter Jacket
By Niki | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.04.1999
Grace and Lily come in through the back door, and Grace gives Jake a big hello. The she notices Zoe's hand and snipes, "She's eating my cupcakes!" She appeals to Lily, who explains they're "tomorrow's dessert" and asks how many Zoe had. Jake says two, but Zoe prods him with a nudge in the ribs, and he confesses, "Okay, I had one too." Zoe points out that there's still one left. How thoughtful of them to leave Grace one. Grace, fed up, blows out of the room to head upstairs, and Lily asks whether Zoe has done her homework. Zoe scrambles out of Jake's arms and rushes off upstairs. "I thought you were going to play bad cop this week," Lily says when the kids are gone. She formally thanks him for taking the kids, but he misses his cue to leave and hops up on the counter. He snaps up the cupcake box and is about to grab the last one, but Lily wrestles it from him and admonishes him that it sends the wrong signals when he hangs around. Jake defends himself, saying he was helping with homework, "as discussed," and that as soon as the girls come downstairs again, they're leaving. He apologizes for "last week" and adds, "Don Lipson thought it was very funny, by the way." Lily spins around and demands, "Thought what was funny?" Jake gestures toward the living room, answering, "Well, you on the couch with...what was that guy's name?" Lily is agape. "You told Don Lipson?" Jake quickly says no, then sniggers, "Don Lipson told me, in car pool this afternoon." Lily doesn't see the humor. She wants to know who told Don Lipson. Jake explains that "gossip like that doesn't go to waste. And certainly not at this school." Lily gives him the stink-eye and asks, "And what exactly did Don Lipson tell you?" Jake kids that he challenged him to a duel before Don Lipson could finish the story, because he had to protect Lily's honor. She glowers, "There's nothing wrong with my honor." No, but your sense of humor could use an adjustment. Jake agrees, and seeing how angry she's getting, assures her that it's all okay. "You can do whatever you want. I just want what's best for you," he smarms. How big of him. She thanks him, seemingly sincerely, and he kisses her forehead. The girls clamber in with their overnight bags, and Jake herds them to the door. As she kisses Lily goodbye, Grace mutters, "Get me some cupcakes, okay?" For once, I can't take issue with her pettiness.
Cut to Rick's place, where he nervously ushers Lily toward the dining room table. He says he's not sure why, but he "got it in [his] head that [she] likes sea bass." Guppy, man, she likes guppy. Lily smiles widely and says she's impressed. He pours her a glass of wine, and they drink to her proclamation that if she never cooked another meal in her life, it'd be too soon.