Episode Report Card Niki: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Scarlet Letter Jacket
By Niki | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.04.1999
Soliloquy Lily butts in with the observation, "Everybody thought they knew me, but they didn't know a thing. Not a thing."
Back at the carnival, Naomi's keeping on with the sarcasm: "They don't have lives, so they have to eat other people's." Some woman offscreen calls to Naomi, who steps off to join her. Lily glances around the school grounds and spots Rick shooting some baskets with a few kids. He turns and sees her watching him, and she smiles, making a tiny gesture with her hand for him to follow her. He doesn't get it. She turns and slowly walks backwards away from him, waiting for him to figure it out. She gestures again. Jeebus, I'd have lost it and just shouted at him by now. Finally, he gets it and takes off in tow.
Cut to Rick strolling down an empty hallway inside the school, looking around for Lily. He rounds a corner and breaks out in a smile. Lily reaches for him, and they smooch. Rick tries out his spyspeak, to which Lily responds, "You'd make the worst spy in the world." He claims he didn't have his glasses, so he couldn't figure out what she was trying to tell him with all those gestures. He asks, "What happened out there?" prompting Lily to beat her head against his chest and explain, "Do you remember when you were a kid? How the girls were always meaner than the boys? You should hear them now!" To his credit, Rick doesn't respond. To my own credit, I'm going to pass over this chance to ream Lily and simply point out that being an asshole isn't gender-dependent. The boys at my school could be pretty mean when they wanted to be: witness wedgies, pantsings, nasty nicknames, and rumors that were spread about non-athletic boys, shapely girls, and the kids whose parents were a little out there. I hate this bullshit attitude that women and girls are way worse than men and boys for this kind of thing. ["Me too. I could talk about how much those people suck for hours, and never get tired or repeat myself -- as anyone who's ever spent any time at the Wing Manor Patio of Slander can attest." --Wing Chun] Anyway, Rick asks whether "they" are talking about him and Lily. "Not yet," Lily exclaims, and adds, "At least not to my face." "To hell with them," Rick says, sucking Lily's bottom lip. "Who cares what they think?" Lily, obviously. They hear someone coming, and Lily jumps out of Rick's grasp, trying to make it look as though they weren't just making out. They could get expelled for that, you know, and then their parents would find out and it'd be all over school what a slut Lily is. They watch, their faces masks of anal retention, as a harmless student walks by. As soon as the coast is clear, they're groping again, and Lily fondly wonders, "Who made you so handsome?" Rick quips, "I bet you say that to all the fathers." "That's me -- school slut," Lily teases back. "Thank god!" Rick answers. Lily starts having an attack of conscience again, slumping her head against his chest and asking whether they can "keep this just between the two of [them] for a while -- for the kids' sake." Rick stares at her with a loving smile while Lily's eyes slip back and forth along the hallway. Operation Covert Makeout is taking its toll.