Episode Report Card Sobell: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Whoever had "burn" in the office pool wins
By Sobell | Season 1 | Episode 15 | Aired on 03.26.2006
We come back to a horizontal shot of Dr. Sara, and from this we can infer that Michael's waking up in the infirmary. Let us tally his wounds at this point: massive head contusion, lost two toes, got a big gouge in his arm, and now he's seared his back. What is next? Why don't they just move him and Sucre to the infirmary full-time and save everyone the trouble of having to take Michael there each time something new happens to him? Dr. Sara comes over and totally tips her hand on how she feels by saying, "Michael, it's Sara. How do you feel?" "Too groggy to notice that you're no longer all about the 'Call me Dr. Tancredi' edict," Michael replies. He wants to know why he's out of it, and Dr. Sara tells him that's a side effect from the "procedure" they had to perform.
Meanwhile, poor Sucre's sitting in Pope's office. Pope is daydreaming while Bellick prances around, snarling, "You got sick of Scofield's smart mouth, so you decided to deep-fry him." Sucre insists he didn't do anything to Michael. And on the face of it, why wouldn't you believe him? It's not like there's a gently-simmering fondue pot that's been in the cell from day one. And it's not like the guards hadn't immediately come by the cell, so really, how would Sucre have contrived a way to find something that heats up, then heat it to burning temperature in the few minutes between count and Michael's screaming? But this sort of observation-based logic and reason is lost on Bellick, who insists that because Sucre was in the cell with Michael, it had to be him. He adds, "You think we should call Matlock in on this one?" Sucre looks over at Pope, then back at Bellick, before asking, "Who's Matlock?" Haaaaaa! Priceless. Pope comes in to play good cop, and Sucre launches into a sincere-sounding -- if not entirely honest -- monologue: "I told you, I didn't burn him! I found him! He was acting weird when we lined up for final count. He was sweating, you know? But he's not a big talker anyway, so I didn’t think much of it. Middle of the night, I get up to you know, shake hands with the president, and there he is, face down on the floor." Bellick is politely dubious: "My ass." Sucre insists he didn't touch him.
Dr. Sara offers Michael painkillers, and he asks how bad it could be. "I'd take the pills," she assures him. As he's drinking the water with his pills, Dr. Sara asks, "Your cellmate do this to you?" Michael nearly chokes on the water from laughing. He asks, "Sucre?" Dr. Sara presses, "Who did?" and Michael coyly replies, "This is the part where I don't answer you." See, Dr. Sara, this is why you should never date him: imagine how annoying it would be to hear that every time you asked a question. When Michael's escorted out, Dr. Sara calls a nurse to come up to check something out. Nurse Gossipson comes up and Dr. Sara shows her some of the melted fabric she picked out of Michael's back, then notes that it's not from an inmate uniform, but from a guard's uniform.
Cut to Captain Calories freaking out over the state of the uniform. Sucre's very apologetic, but that's no consolation for the ass-chewing CO Stickyfingers delivers unto Captain Calories for his burning of the uniform. Captain Calories takes it like a man, and when CO Stickyfingers leaves, he demands to know why Sucre wanted the uniform. Sucre tells him, "Trust me, Primo, the lest you know, the better."