Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pregnant cause
By Daniel | Season 9 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.03.2004
Speaking of which, here's Kevin vacuuming that vast garage apartment (even though Lucy said he was sleeping, but I suppose it's too much to ask the writers to keep track of little details like that, right?). Martin comes up, asks if Kevin's busy, and Kevin dryly says he is, and invites Martin to grab the mop and pitch in. So Martin asks if Kevin and Lucy "were together" before they got married, meaning did they do the rumpy-bumpy, and Kevin says no, that they waited. Martin wants to know if that was Lucy's idea or his. Kevin says it was a mutual thing (but he sounds a little testy about it). So Martin asks Kevin about women before he met Lucy, and Kevin wants to know what Martin is driving at (notice, though, he doesn't answer that last question). "What I'm getting at is maybe I'm not normal. Maybe I'm the only guy in the world who thinks he has to wait until he gets married." Oh, gag. So this episode is supposed to be, simultaneously, a warning about the dangers of premarital sex, as well as comfort to those teenagers who choose to wait, right? Kevin wisely declines to explain to Martin that he himself was banging cheerleaders two at a time when he was Martin's age, and instead asks what brought this on. Martin says he had a bad practice, and started thinking about how most guys are fooling around after school instead of knocking themselves out at practice and getting yelled at by some dumb coach. "You had a bad practice so now you think you'll completely abandon everything you believe in and go out and do something stupid?" says Kevin, like way to draw premarital sex in black and white, there, Kevin. "Yeah, it does sound kind of stupid when I think about," says Martin. It sounds stupid even without thinking about it too much. Kevin wants to know why Martin had a bad practice, because, oh yeah, Martin's this baseball god who's going to be in the majors, so if he had a bad practice, it must be for some reason. Martin says he saw that Harry "kid" with another girl, and that he's going to break Ruthie's heart. "I'll kill him!" says Kevin, and Martin says, "He's pretty tough." He ACTUALLY SAYS THIS about a guy who looks like he couldn't win a slap fight with Ruthie. "I'm a cop," Kevin reminds him, and Martin says that since Harry is in social services, he's not afraid of authority figures, like nice stereotyping, and Kevin stomps off to bully some little kid that Ruthie JUST MET, for God's sake, and despite being ordered by Kevin to "finish the floor," Martin decides to tag along.
Back at the CamPound, Ruthie's developed a new way of looking for something, one that involves sitting on her butt. RevCam strolls up and Ruthie whines that she can't find the nest, and she wants to take care of the bird, and RevCam offers to drop everything he's doing, like interviewing potential adoptive parents for a pregnant girl, to go down to the sporting goods store to buy some damn worms (which, we apparently need to be told, are used for fishing bait). And because RevCam can't resist sticking his nose in, he asks how things are going with Harry, and Ruthie says that she knows RevCam doesn't like Harry, but he's still a nice guy. RevCam submits that there are plenty of other nice guys at her school. "I'm sure there are. But this is the one I'm interested in. Sorry," says Ruthie, who then gets up and strolls back into the kitchen, and Annie is still in the exact same spot we left her in. "I couldn't find the nest, so I'm just going to have to take care of the bird myself," she tells Annie, who makes a big show of putting a cover over top of the cookies, like she's worried about this stupid sickly bird stealing her cookies. And Ruthie is doing that weird eyes-widening-and-narrowing-irregularly thing as she delivers her lines, which never fails to creep me out. Annie tells Ruthie that Harry called and wants to talk to her, so Ruthie says she'll call him. Fascinating! And the phone rings as Ruthie strolls off, and Annie is glaring and rolling her eyes, like what is with the level of general disrespect the characters have for each other on this show, and Annie answers the phone, and it's Leanne looking for RevCam, who Annie doesn't know is home yet (well, he was home, but he's now out buying stupid worms). Leanne brilliantly deduces that this is Mrs. Camden, and says "this is Leanne" and "I'm having my baby" and how perfect that Leanne assumes that RevCam blabbed her story to Annie already, even though he hasn't been home yet. And Leanne is calling from a hospital bed because she's gone into labour, and she doesn't know if she has two weeks or two days or two hours before the baby's born, so RevCam needs to find her baby a home RIGHT THIS SECOND. Annie looks distressed and does kind of a double-take to the phone to take us, blessedly, to commercial.