Episode Report Card Keckler: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A hand, a scan, a canal, Panama!
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 09.30.2003
Xindi Round Table. The species argue again. Monkey Boy and Mr. Man are annoyed at Snake Eyes and Bug House's course of action. "You promised us more time -- you don't have enough data to construct the bio-weapon!" Mr. Man whines. "Don't we?" Snake Eyes growls, and shouts, "Bring her!" Another Snake Eyes brings in Hellena Hand Job, now suitably and attractively attired in a black onesie that sparkles slightly and has a racing stripe up the arm. She looks like a cat burglar. "Show them!" Snake Eyes orders, shoving her. When Hellena Hand Job hesitates, Snake Eyes hisses and orders her again. Hellena Hand Job walks over to a console, puts her hands on it, and a three-dimensional digital image of a humanoid form appears above them. Rotating, of course, because they always have to be rotating. "We couldn't proceed with the bio-weapon because we didn't have enough information on the humans," Snake Eyes says, sitting back down. "Now we do." Aqua Man whale-songs that they "must proceed on both fronts!" Mr. Man asks, "Do you expect us to reward you for this act of insubordination?" Snake Eyes hisses. "This has left us more vulnerable than we were before," Mr. Man says. "There's more to these humans than you can learn from a set of bio-metric scans," Hellena Hand Job interjects. Snake Eyes silences her and orders her out of the room. Oh, she's going to recur, all right. Just like a pernicious, unctuous disease. Remember that anguished look she gave Quantum when Snake Eyes attacked him? I'll bet that PDF she gave them of the human form was actually Vulcan, since she took far more scans of T'Pol than she did of Quantum and she loooooves Quantum. Which means that, based on Hellena Hand Job's "human" data, the Xindi will build a weapon configured for Vulcans when they think they're building a weapon to use against humans. That's my prediction and I'm sticking to it.
Next week, T'Pol goes off her walnut. Again. Oh, and Apple sucks.