Episode Report Card Strega: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Escape From Wedded Bliss
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 11 | Aired on 07.21.2000
Back at the bar, Chiana wants D'Argo to try one of the vials, which will tell them if their DNA is compatible enough for them to have kids. Because that's what the kissing is actually all about, and apparently Chiana and D'Argo discovered this and but didn't think it was worth mentioning to kissy-face Crichton. D'Argo thinks the taste-test is a bad idea, but Chiana puts a drop on his tongue and they kiss. D'Argo pulls away and shudders a little. Chiana reassures him, "It's just a game for us, D'Argo. Okay? We don't play by the rules they do." D'Argo says they're not compatible. The makeup department sighs with relief because they don't have to try to come up with designs for a grey-skinned, face-tentacled baby. Chiana says it's only their DNA, and licks one of D'Argo's, er, tendrils before adding, "Not the parts that make us feel pleasure."
Rygel asks Aeryn why the Scarran on the catwalk is watching them. I wonder how he can possibly tell what the Scarran is looking at. It's not like Scarrans have pupils, you know? Aeryn suspects that the Scarrans want a covenant with the colony. A square-chinned lad approaches Aeryn and offers her a vial. She takes the vial, but shoos the guy away. A goofy-looking guy is next up. Aeryn forces the vial into Rygel's maw, then tastes it herself. While the goofy guy watches unhappily, she leans down and gives Rygel a passionate kiss. Rygel makes muffled unhappy noises for a moment. Aeryn finally sits up and loudly says, "Sweet! I'm so pleased!" Rygel chuckles and agrees, "How unexpected!" The goofy guy wishes the happy couple the best, and quickly exits. As soon as he's gone, Aeryn and Rygel do a synchronized spit-take.
Zhaan's still going "Aaaaaa..." Pilot interrupts with the bulletin that Scorpius has found them. Zhaan races up to Command as we cut to an exterior of Scorpius's carrier. When Zhaan arrives, Pilot reports that Scorpius is being held off by the satellite defense system, but they have detected Moya. He tells her that there's no time to pick up the gang on the planet. Zhaan suggests waiting till they've been spotted and then initiating a Starburst. She doesn't suggest that, while they're waiting, they could at least try contacting Aeryn to tell her what's up. Pilot supports the plan, though: "Scorpius may think we're all aboard and pursue." Zhaan starts praying, as she does, and they Starburst in an exceptionally pretty way.
Crichton asks Rygel where D'Argo and Chiana are. Rygel drunkenly answers, "Alternately exchanging body fluids and checking a tracking station to locate Moya's orbit." Rygel would make a good recapper. Crichton suspects it's time to dry Rygel out, but he's interrupted by Tyno, who asks, "Were you once a Peacekeeper?" Behind Tyno, the dancers wave their arms around like they're in the video for "Broken." Bless their goofy hearts. Crichton starts to mention that there's a problem, but Tyno interrupts, "Your friends have been given access to our space command to find your ship." A lot happens in between scenes in this episode. Tyno goes on, "But for now, if you don't mind..." Crichton looks behind him and sees a blonde holding up a vial at him with a very serious expression. Crichton tries to beg off, saying he's "partied out," but the blonde says, "Please." Tyno and Rygel watch intently as we go through the kissing routine again. When the kiss ends, the blonde smiles, and Crichton says, "It's sweet. It's kinda like molasses." Tyno waves for some guards to come over, and the crowd around them stops dancing and starts staring. Crichton takes this in and quietly says, "Uh oh." He should have said, "Oh, boy," and then looked in a mirror and seen Quantum's face starting at him. Because this story needs more complications! Okay, perhaps not.