Episode Report Card Strega: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Escape From Wedded Bliss
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 11 | Aired on 07.21.2000
D'Argo and Rygel have vanished, and now Crichton is reassuring Clavor that they're not going to be in-laws: "On my planet, we don't marry people we don't love. Unless they're critically ill billionaires." Katralla enters, with Tyro pouting at her heels. Crichton strolls over and prepares to awkwardly disengage. As it were. But before he can get to the point, the Empress enters, wearing her own Faberge egg. She gives Crichton a once-over and says, "I anticipate sturdy grandchildren from you. Let us get to know one another." Well, that breaks the ice, I guess. She takes Crichton by the arm and leads him a few steps away before asking if he's proposed. Crichton stammers that he doesn't love Katralla, which doesn't surprise the Empress. She explains that she doesn't want Clavor to be king: "He would betray our neutrality for the genuflect of peasants." If they ally with the Scarrans, they'll be attacked by the Peacekeepers, and if they ally with the Peacekeepers, they'll be attacked by the Scarrans. Crichton apologetically says that nothing will convince him to marry Katralla. Faster than you can breathe, "Famous last words," in walks Scorpius.
Quick flashback to: Scorpius torturing Crichton, the Farscape zipping through a wormhole, Crichton spitting on himself ickily, and more torture.
Crichton blinks as Scorpius greets him with a warm hug, exclaiming, "I have traveled a long, long way just to see you again!" As their embrace ends, Crichton whispers, "Go away, Scorpy. It's over. Find another girlfriend." Scorpius tells Crichton not to let the Empress intimidate him and pats his shoulder supportively before taking a few steps away. The Empress leans in and smugs, "My daughter, or that abomination. Choose." Wait, if he doesn't marry Katralla, he has to marry Scorpius? That's open-minded of them. The Empress joins Scorpius a short distance away. A shell-shocked Crichton walks back to Katralla, who sympathetically tells him that what momma wants, momma gets. Crichton asks what Katralla wants. "To be Empress. To have children. To keep the peace for my people." He asks, "Even if we're miserable for the rest of our lives?" Katralla assures him that she won't make him miserable. They look at each other for a moment, and she adds, "I'm sorry." Crichton glances over to the black blur of Scorpius in the distance, and then says, "Princess Katralla, will you consent to marry me?" She will. She kisses his cheek and gives him a warm hug. Scorpius smiles benevolently. Crichton craps his shiny, tight leather pants.