Episode Report Card Sara M: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Jingle Hell
By Sara M | Season 3 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.13.1998
We return from a commercial break with Lucy whining to Annie that she has to get Jordan something really nice for Christmas. Annie tells Lucy to "be creative," like she is for RevCam's present whenever she draws his name from the bowl. Lucy remarks that Annie always draws RevCam's name because the CamRents cheat, and everyone knows it. Even SamVid know it, and they're developmentally disabled, not to mention still in utero. Lucy says she doesn't have time to think of a good present for Jordan because she's been Rev-appointed to get people to participate in the live nativity scene. Annie suggests Tom Sawyering the nativity scene by holding auditions to make it seem like a really exclusive and fun thing to do, and an honor to participate in. Lucy asks her mom if all the blood just rushed out of her head for her to have an idea so stupid. Damn, Lucy, that was cold. And yet, my respect for you has gone up a few notches. Lucy claims that no one in town likes the live nativity scene; it's like "being in a wax museum, only creepier. The wax talks back." Annie asks Lucy what she should get for RevCam. Hey, I thought Annie said she was good at thinking of presents for RevCam? I hate liars. Lucy says that RevCam's got his old 45s out; maybe Annie could make a record player for him to play them on. Don't they have one already? That big phonograph that's hanging out in the foyer? I guess it's just for decoration, although it seems wrong to use that word to describe something so damn ugly. Annie screams in delight and hugs Lucy close to her bosom, saying that Lucy really does have good ideas, and she should be able to think of something for Jordan no problem. Lucy keeps whining, though.
In the garage, Simon and RevCam are fighting over whether or not Simon is too young to hang the Christmas lights. They reach a stupid compromise: Simon will hang the lights inside the house, which is safer. RevCam doesn't understand the point of hanging lights inside, to which Simon says that it's better than nothing, and hanging lights on the house is a tradition that shouldn't be broken, like his candy cane pajamas. RevCam tells Simon not to let big, pregnant, crazy Annie do any ladder-climbing. Simon asks if RevCam will help; RevCam says he would, but he's too much of a klutz. 'Tis the season to make everyone else work, huh, Rev?
Mary cuts potatoes. Excitement builds as I hope against hope that she'll slice a finger off and then I'll finally get something actually cool to recap. But no, the lady comes in with another volunteer, whom she introduces as "Carlos." And yes, it's Kieforge, Mary's future husband, although he's got much better hair here. You can tell Mary is in love at first sight because she stares at him blankly with her mouth hanging open. Carlos wishes her Merry Christmas, then says, "So very nice to meet you, my love," and kisses her hand. Instead of being totally creeped out, Mary is charmed. I think Brenda Hampton has been filling her many lonely nights with one too many Antonio Banderas movies, and thus has developed a bizarre, romanticized notion of how all Hispanic men behave. That kind of thing happens when you don't interact with real humans on a regular basis.