Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Live Through This With Me
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 04.15.1999
Zhaan tries to get D'Argo to yell at the Sheyang some more: "It's not my face they are afraid of." D'Argo tells her he doesn't lie to his opponents in battle, no matter how wily she is. "It's not lying," she says. "Simply mislead them," she says. He says she has a flexible morality for a priest, and I cannot argue with him. Neither can she: "Well, I apologize. It must be done, and you must do it." And okay, that's what it always comes down to, with Zhaan. I wouldn't yell quite so loud if I didn't love her, and I will say this: every stupid, asshole thing she ever does, she does it to save Moya and every person on Moya, and because there's nothing else to be done. Which means that the stupid, scary shit she does is twice the sacrifice, because it's also her holy, perfect image of herself that she's sacrificing. For them. An image she spent hundreds of years -- crazy, locked in a room, screaming -- bleeding to build, so she could live with herself. And that's all she's asking D'Argo to do, after all, and I...don't think I can hate her anymore, as of right this second. Maybe next week won't be so fun after all.
Gilina arghs in frustration and John asks mildly if she screwed something up. "This isn't going to work. The main fusion panel is charred. John's like, "Gilina, you told Aeryn you could do this. And your face looks way better not blown off, so..." Gilina levels that she didn't want to be executed for failing to try. Which: I hate Peacekeepers, don't you? John tries to explain once more that they are not killers, and Gilina points out how he totally killed Bipolar's brother. And look how well that went. John finally gets pissed and spits out the truth, how it was a fender-bender that easily could have killed John instead. And you can't get all bus crash about that plot point either, because once Crais shows up it's twice as obnoxious and pointless and you'll wish John had just killed them both. Them and their ponytails.
So just as they're reaching a quiet kind of loving understanding between Techs, who walks in carrying some massive equipment? Aeryn, who angrily asks if they'd like a lovely snack. "Something chilled?" Gilina -- calling her "Officer Sun" -- gingerly notes that the wires Aeryn's packing are the wrong kind. Aeryn grumps that she's looked everywhere, and Gilina suggests a couple of places she could look. Aeryn does not want to leave! Gilina starts to give her directions and Aeryn's like, "I know where it is, dude." Three things not to do to Aeryn if you're a cute Tech Girl getting sweaty with Commander John Crichton: Criticize her tech knowledge. Boss her around. Tell her where shit is. "That door's jammed!" Gilina shouts as Aeryn takes off. That's four! Betting is now closed!