Episode Report Card Potes: B- | 18 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Sizzle Tans
By Potes | Season 5 | Episode 10 | Aired on 08.04.2013
We're then at the Hoboken apartment with Caroline and Al, who outright says that he hates the place. One reason he must hate it is that Lauren and Albie and Chris all have keys and show up at will. The family has some snacks, and Albie talks about a trip that's upcoming for BLK water (remember that???) and all the work being put into Little Town. Caroline worries that he's a workaholic, and warns him not to put so much focus on his professional life that he neglects the other, fun parts of being a human. Albie in turn says that he'll worry about his own happiness when he's ready to be happy. "I am going to defer happiness" is an interesting life strategy.
Basically, Albie wants to be able to put more than "law school dropout" and "freeloader" on his resume. Chris tells Albie that he's imposing all of this stress and anxiety on himself. They live the same life, and if Chris isn't totally exhausted and nervous, he doesn't understand why Albie should be. He tells us that Albie was always the golden child, while he and Lauren were under the radar. As it turns out, that's a good way to be. Caroline goes on to talk about how sometimes you need to take a break and have a sandwich, and Al tells her to stifle. Albie's going to do it how he wants to do it, and Caroline can't tell him to slow down anymore than she could have told Al to 20 years ago. He doesn't think it's right for red-headed louses to chastise motivated people, and in fact posits that they should shut the eff up. And damn. Did Al just tell Caroline to shut the eff up in front of his kids and ON CAMERA? Judging by the awkward silence, methinks he did.
Meanwhile, Melissa is having a photo shoot for her book cover. She wants it to be fresh with sexiness, and somehow envisions it involving a big white shirt. Yeah, I don't know. Over at Sizzle Tans, Joe is all oiled up. Rob Horndog, owner of Sizzle Tans, looks on appreciatively. Joe thinks it was stupid of Melissa to pass on this opportunity just because Teresa pissed on the Sizzle Tan territory already. He for one does not care, and acts like the biggest cheeseball in the universe, per usual. Back at Melissa's shoot, she walks down the stairs with a wind machine and sheer blouse. At Sizzle Tans, a sexy lady comes out to pose with Joe and he calls her a hot dog. He means that as a compliment. Melissa complains that her fan needs to blow more, while Joe does push ups with the model on his back. And then Melissa gets her shot, which is totally cliché and cheesy, even more so than an ad for freaking SIZZLE TANS.