Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You Can Take the Man Out of CTU…
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.08.2005
Out on the "lawn," DaD is telling Kiefer that he's on his own as far as dealing with Driscoll and CTU, because DaD doesn't want to face the political fallout if it doesn't pay off. I'm thinking a little political fallout won't sound too bad to him in about five minutes, but you know what they say about hindsight. DoDder comes out of the house with yet another phone (DiCK might ask him, "How many phones do you need to talk to people?"), this one with POTUS on the other end. DaD hangs up on a frustrated Kiefer. It's 7:56:54. Kiefer checks his watch, sets his jaw, and starts striding across the floor. Potato Face takes note of his determined progress and looks like she's seriously considering diving for the fire alarm.
Driscoll is still watching Kiefer 2.0 question TerrorTurk. Kiefer 2.0 wallows in his 2.0-ness, mildly asking TerrorTurk, "Who are you working with?" No, no, no, that's all wrong. "Why did you bomb that train?" he demands with more volume than gusto, giving TerrorTurk's chair a half-hearted shake. TerrorTurk isn't any more impressed than I am. Kiefer 2.0 steps out to the observation room and asks Driscoll, "How far can I push this guy?" Hopefully farther than that, because the way he's running this interrogation I wouldn't confess to low tire pressure. Driscoll wonders if maybe they should bring in Johnson. You know what Johnson does. Johnson has a whole thread in the forums named after him, you know.
In the hallway to the interrogation room, Kiefer is stopped by a security guard. The CTU guards are dressed differently this season, with maroon uniform blouses. Literally making them redshirts? That's not even nice. Anyway, this redshirt tries to put a hand on Kiefer's chest, which is always a mistake, and in under three seconds the poor bastard is flat on the ground, unconscious, with his gun and keycard in Kiefer's possession. Kiefer swipes the card and punches in a code that apparently hasn't been changed since he worked there, like, nice security, CTU, and then he's in the interrogation room with TerrorTurk, waving the guard's gun around and screaming questions. Driscoll and Kiefer 2.0 freak out and try to get in, but Kiefer punches in the right combination of numbers to jam the entry code. He still remembers it because if you look at the display upside-down it says "BOOBS." Driscoll orders Special Agent Breck to call security. Yes, by all means, bring Kiefer a fresh source of guns. Kiefer does his patented table-flinging move, and TerrorTurk doesn't look entirely unengaged by the second act of this particular performance of "Good Cop, Fucking Bugnuts Psycho Apeman Cop." Driscoll is ordering Kiefer to holster his weapon. Kiefer, rather than explaining that he doesn't have a holster, elects instead to put a round in TerrorTurk's left thigh. It's a very nice effect as a cloud of blood and GSR springs into the light above TerrorTurk's lap. TerrorTurk screams. Wuss. Driscoll stares in shock for about a second before ordering Special Agent Breck to call medical. Then Driscoll is warning Kiefer that she'll have him shot if she has to, but Kiefer is already moving around behind TerrorTurk and pressing the muzzle against TerrorTurk's right thigh. "What is your primary objective?" Kiefer demands, and the shortest interrogation in history comes to an end as TerrorTurk bellows, "Secretary of Defense!" Uh-oh. Driscoll orders Special Agent Breck to call the Secret Service. Her dialing finger must be smoking by now.
7:58:14. DaD, still on the phone, tells DoDder that POTUS wants them back in D.C. tonight. It's hard to hold someone's hand from three time zones away, you see. They talk about which meetings they can reschedule while DoDder's other phone starts ringing. It's Kiefer, of course, yelling into the phone for her to get out of there now. "The bombing was diversionary. Your father was the real target," he tells her urgently. DoDder lowers the phone in shock and says, "Oh my God," and the "-d" is barely out of her mouth when a rocket-powered grenade streaks down the street behind her and hits the lead motorcade car, sending its burning carcass into the air. I love it when they put the stars in the same shot as the heavy ordnance. DaD pulls DoDder down into a crouch on the driveway while the Secret Service guy tries to figure out where the hostile fire is coming from. Sadly for him, it's coming from everywhere. Everything happens very fast: masked men with machine guns appear out of a quick-moving florist truck and also out of the neighbors' bushes, taking down DaD's Secret Service detail one by one. DiCK watches it all in horror through his window. More masked men show up to grab DaD and DoDder, and her cell phone clatters on the sidewalk. Kiefer listens helplessly back at CTU. Another bad guy is walking briskly along the street, coldly dispatching prone Secret Service agents as he passes them. DaD and DoDder are bundled into a brown van, which speeds off. The rest of the bad guys follow in the florist truck. Really exciting, well-done scene. I might even argue that this kind of thing is fast becoming what the show does best.