Episode Report Card Keckler: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Maximum Over(warp)drive
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.08.2002
Quantum walks into the Extra-Large Exo-Comp's ATM room and announces, "A member of my crew is dead. We don't know what happened." A monitor slides open and tells him that his inquiry was not recognized. Quantum draws himself up and says, "My...helmsman...was...killed....inLaunchBayOne." He undoes his collar and pulls it away from his neck. What is that all about? "We think it happened while that section was off-limits," Quantum says. The ATM reminds him that all personnel are supposed to vacate those areas during repairs. Quantum nods his head rapidly and says, "We're aware of that. You must have some...kind of record of what happened." Of course it does; the computer scanned the database and decided that it had seen this movie, and the black dude dies first. If they had Orlando Jones playing May-dead, none of this would have happened. The computer just repeats its comment about vacating repair areas. Quantum looks annoyed as he furrows The Furrow Of "Return Of The Archons." Seriously? Countdown to him Kirking at the computer until it starts to smoke begins...now! "I...need...totalktoaperson," Quantum contorts. "Push zero three times -- usually works for me," Mathra calls from the breadbox. Quantum tells the computer that he wants someone who can access the database and tell him what happened. You don't need a database, Quantum; I can tell you what happened. When the Extra-Large Exo-Comp scanned them, it found May-kaput to be an anomaly -- sort of like a cyst that just sits there quietly, not doing anything -- so they excised him. The computer keeps telling Quantum that his inquiry isn't recognized. From the inside of the computer, looking out, we can see Quantum yelling, "Who built this station? What species?" "Your inquiry was not recognized," the computer tells him mildly. "What species?!" Quantum demands, punching the computer screen. Okay, anger management classes for you, starting next week. "Do you think he hurt his hand?" Mathra wonders. "Any damage to these facilities will be charged to your vessel," the computer tells him. And taken out of May-rigor-mortis's ass. Quantum pants.
Sick Bay. Phlox records the post-mortem aloud. "Age twenty-six Earth years -- far too young to be on this table," Phlox observes, as May-deceased slides out of the SCAT. Phlox records a few more medical comments that seem to indicate the cause of death was electrocution before Hoshi walks in. "This is not an ideal time," Phlox tells her. Hoshi twists her hands and says she wanted to say goodbye. "You may find this disturbing," Phlox warns her. "I've seen a body before," Hoshi says. "Fifteen of them on that alien ship." CONTINUITY! Phlox tells her it's different when it's someone she knows personally. Hoshi just looks at him through the grey gauze curtain Phlox has pulled around his area in Sick Bay. Phlox relents and pulls back the curtain.