Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A- | 885 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Melrose Law
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 2004.11.02
Makeup, Makeup, Makeup! goes and tattles to Miss Dent that "Wanda" just had food delivered, which is a problem because she doesn't have any "Pirate Points." At Miss Dent's bafflement, M,M,M! explains that Pirate Points are earned by being a "contributing member of the school," in other words, through activities such as Student Council, sports... Miss Dent raises an eyebrow and asks, "Cheerleading?" M,M,M!: "Is a sport." Miss Dent has clearly never seen Bring It On. And, as such, is dead to me. M,M,M! goes and tattles to Vice-Principal Clemens, and they go confront Wanda, who's sitting with Felix. Clemens tells her that he'll have to confiscate the food. Wanda reacts by going over to M,M,M!, hopping up on her table, and planting each of her boots square in a pizza. M,M,M! freaks. I don't know what she's so upset about. I'm sure her index finger could use the break, if you take my meaning. Clemens summons Wanda to his office. We flash over to Wallace, who's impressed. Veronica tells Wallace Wanda's name, and says they used to be in pep squad together. Which makes me wonder, since they're both now outcasts with that group, why they're not already friends. Then again, Wanda's got something Veronica lacks. It's what our country's fearless leader might term "poserosity."
Chez Mars. Keith arrives home to find Veronica making sundaes. Man, everyone I know could use one of those right now. Maybe with butterscotch. Eh, screw the butter. Keith collapses into a chair. Veronica asks him if he had a rough day, and Keith lapses into a Philip Marlowe impression. I could live with it in small doses. Veronica plays along, and then tells him they're having dessert for dinner. Yay. The sugar buzz is killed, however, when it comes over the TV that Abel Koontz, the dude convicted of killing Lilly, fired his public defender that day. We see old footage of Koontz being arrested, and of Officer Fuckface holding up evidence presumably found on Koontz's boat, including a pair of what look like ballet slippers, with a froufrou ribbon on each of them, and a heart with some writing inside drawn on the left one. The announcer tells us that Koontz is scheduled to die by lethal injection as early as the next year, barring appeals. Keith flips off the TV. Veronica asks why Koontz fired his lawyer. Keith: "'Cause he's ready to die." Veronica asks what Keith is going to do about it. Keith points out that no one in Neptune cares what he believes: "This town's gonna have to find another conspiracy nut." Keith, I believe you already know Veronica. But not as well as some people think, I hope.