Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A- | 885 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Melrose Law
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 2004.11.02
Haaron's gassing up at the same service station at which Logan was such a jackhole to that veteran earlier. Haaron wraps up a brief phone call that is nevertheless long enough to convey that he doesn't give a rat's ass about the homeless, which will speak somewhat to Logan's actions later. Haaron tells Logan that the cameras will get a few shots of Logan volunteering at the soup kitchen, and then Haaron will join Logan for an interview with the television crews. Logan asks what he should tell them. Haaron asks what he thinks: "That you're sorry, that you're boneheaded, and that you screwed up! I'll take care of the rest." Not to give anything away, but that's what you think. Haaron gets another call. It's about a script that he thinks sucks, but he signs on anyway. He hammily tells Logan, "How do you argue with eight figures? You can't! It can't be done!" Wow, and it will really increase your taxable income, too. I'll bet you could use a good writeoff. The windshield washer from earlier saunters up to Logan, calling him "Don King" (hee), and asking if he found someone "willing to make a bitch outta hisself for cash." "Someone" gets back in the car and asks Logan if he's ready. Haaron drives as Logan stares at his bitch of a dad.
Cut to the homeless shelter, where Logan is jauntily serving food. A reporter tells Haaron she's ready, so he grabs Logan. As flashes go off, Haaron tells the crowd that his father wasn't educmacated, but he told him, "A good heart is worth all the heads in the world out together." He fails to add, "I killed him for the insurance money. Heart, schmeart." He tells everyone that Logan wasn't using his head, but that he has a great heart. Logan looks all happy and misty. Perhaps Haaron should consider casting him in his next film. Logan stammers an apology, which is just hilarious if you know what's coming. They embrace, and Logan tells his dad he loves him, as a reporter nods tearily at the promotion this saccharine moment is sure to bring her. Logan goes on to say that his dad didn't want to make a big deal, but he's so proud that he "can't keep it a secret." Perhaps again thinking of Making Love, Haaron wonders where this is going. Logan: "Dad told me on the way over that he's donating half a million dollars to the Neptune Food Bank." The crowd goes wild as Logan applauds. "Way to go, Dad!" Hee. Haaron has to stop himself from biting through his lower lip...