Episode Report Card Gustave: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sex, Lies, Videotape, Laptops, and Cell Phones
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 15 | Aired on 03.11.2002
Back at the hotel, a post-coital, blessed-out Faux-licity and TakeOnKief lie in bed. Their matching honey-blond curls merge on the pillow like a single slumbering woodland creature. "I was surprised you called," says Faux-licity. "I didn't think I'd see you again after D.C." She cracks a joke about how unusually easy she's being. TakeOnKief wants more unicorn sex so bad that he has to know her exact schedule for the next, oh say, nine episodes…I mean, "hours." Hey, whaddya know? Faux-licity is one of the few campaign workers who was told about the relocation to Nevada. She's not supposed to tell anyone where she's going for security reasons, but hey, TakeOnKief just might want to come for a visit. See where this is going? Faux-licity hops into the shower, covering her bare breasts artfully with her arm. She makes a hint about the shower being big enough for two. TakeOnKief promises to join her in the shower as soon as he finds her travel agenda in her bag.
In the CTU Konfrontational Koffee Room, Palmer calls some off-screen powerful person and has him pull some strings to force Chappelle to let him see Kiefer. Chappelle enters the koffee room and introduces himself. He explains that Palmer is unable to speak to Kiefer because Kiefer is the subject of an internal investigation. Soul Patch enters. There's a phone call for Chappelle; it's the off-screen power dude from the Department of Defense, kommanding Chappelle to give Palmer access to Kiefer. Palmer gloats. Chappelle grimaces and bitterly thanks Palmer for "helping [him] kut through the red tape." Palmer also wants all the cameras and recording equipment taken down. "This is going to be a private konversation," says Palmer. Bamp bamp chicka pow pow! Chappelle barely kontains his frustration at being kept out of the KieferKonversation, but assures Palmer that everything will be kool.
Soul Patch stops by the KieferKage. He lets Kiefer know for his own komfort that the Kieferettes are kontained safely in the safe house. Oh, and Chappelle wants to see him. They walk out onto the floor. Kiefer passes Milo and apologizes for switching the keycards. Milo insists that they all understand what he was going through. The office extras stare kuriously. The Secret Service let him enter the Konfrontational Koffee room, where he komes face-to-face with Palmer. The Secret Service men leave. The two men are finally alone. Palmer tells him to sit. "I want to know who's working with you," says Palmer to the man he thinks just tried to kill him. In other words, "[slam] Who are you working for?" But he's a politician, so it's got to sound more klassy. Kiefer asks him to explain himself. Palmer accuses Kiefer of wanting him dead, to repay him for the men that Kiefer lost in a certain special mission in Kosovo two years ago called Operation Nightfall. Apparently, Palmer authorized Operation Nightfall. Kiefer didn't know that before. "I know you took out Victor Drazen and his inner circle," says Palmer. "And I know you lost six men in the process." Kiefer kounters that he doesn't blame Palmer for the death of his men; he blames his velvety-voiced self. And he's been trying to prevent Palmer's assassination all day. He explains why he took the Secret Service man's gun and how Gaines's men were holding his family hostage. "They didn't tell you any of this, did they?" asks Kiefer tenderly. "No," says Palmer. Kiefer tells Palmer to verify everything with Chappelle. The time is 2:11:38 PM.