Episode Report Card Deborah: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Arcadia the Beautiful
By Deborah | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.21.2004
Next shot is someone in a locker, banging to get out. The Misfit Posse (minus Joan and Adam) is standing around outside it, and Judith coos, "What's the magic words, Lars?" He says, "Okay, I get it: locker bad. This is so not funny anymore!" Grace says she could stand there for hours. Luke wants to know how Judith did this. Friedman: "'You have held as 't'were the mirror up to nature, where it sees reflected' -- this is really cool, Judith, okay? This is really -- wow!" Lars keeps banging and saying he's sorry. Now could someone please stuff Elizabeth in a locker -- preferably one of the half-size ones?
Up the hallway, Joan's watching at her locker. Locksmith God comes along and remarks, "Mankind lives in a prison of its own making -- but you always call on me for the keys." Joan says, "I couldn't do it…I couldn't win that way." Locksmith God: "Yeah. It's amazing how many people could've." Joan: "So Lars is gonna win?" "Landslide." Joan: "I drove myself crazy for nothing!" Locksmith God tells her, "You were involved, Joan! That always makes a difference."
Joan plops a foil container of cake down in front of her mother in their kitchen. They're both in their nightclothes. Helen says, "Just a bite." Joan: "Mom. We're bummed. We're eating the whole thing." Helen: "D'ya wanna maybe have chocolate sauce and ice cream, too?" Joan: "No point without it." She gets those things as her mother tells her Darlene cried as she apologized, but won't return to class: "God, I was hoping there was some way to undo it all. I was such a jerk." Joan dishes out ice cream as she says, "Yeah? You weren't alone." Helen points out Brian lost the election: "So you didn't destroy Lars. That makes one of us a decent person." Erm. A decent person wouldn't have considered what Joan considered. Joan thinks as she squirts chocolate sauce all over her cake and ice cream: "I had it in me to do it. I felt it." Helen suddenly stops worrying about Darlene "Bambi" Fitch for a minute and starts paying attention to her own daughter: "What were you gonna do?"
Joan puts her utensil down and scratches her forehead, and finally tells her mother, "Lars is…gay." Helen: "And you were gonna use that to…" Joan: "Mom, it would have been so easy…" Helen seems troubled. Joan: "But then…in my head, I kept seeing him, looking at me…so scared, you know? Big, strong Lars, scared and confused. And I've been there, like…like all the time." Her tone is heartbreaking. Helen takes that in, realizing she's not fully aware of Joan's pain. Joan continues, "And it was like we weren't really different people, 'cause…someplace we aren't." Helen takes her hand. Joan: "Why is that so hard to remember?" Okay, now I'm crying. And the teabag is smirking at me. Helen: "I don't know." Joan admits she didn't care for losing: "Being involved was supposed to make a difference, and…I don't really see how." You don't always get to see how. You don't even usually get to see how. That's the irritating thing about faith. Well, one of the irritating things. Helen: "Oh, well…you need more chocolate sauce. And so do I." She loads it on. They sit quietly for a moment and then there's a knock at the kitchen door. Joan gasps and whispers: "It's Darlene. She's come to kill you and dip you in shellac." As Joan goes to the door, Helen smirks and says, "I'm eating your half."