Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ex-Ex-President
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.14.2006
Kiefer's back at his place, which appears to be a long rambler somewhere. Must be close to the oil fields, obviously. It doesn't look at all like Thailand. He's turned on the TV, and is learning the sad (to him) news about Palmer from fake news channel CNB. He sniffles and looks down, just in time for the music to go from sad to suspenseful in response to a knock at the door. He reaches under the couch cushion for a handgun, which he points at the door and calls, "Who is it?" A woman's voice answers, "It's me, Frank." Kiefer hides the gun behind his back and cracks the door open to reveal Connie Britton (from Spin City and Season Three of The West Wing) standing there. She's playing Kiefer's landlady, Diane. She looks past him at the Palmer story playing on his TV and makes some sad noises. Kiefer looks even sadder, and she asks him if he's okay. She touches the side of his face, which seems to surprise him a little, and he says he's fine. It's 7:11:22 as she invites him to breakfast and walks away from his door. Kiefer says he'll be right there, and closes the door so he can hide his gun before joining her. His handgun, I mean. It's not really clear whether he's been hiding his other gun in the landlady.
She must live in the same house, because she's already in her kitchen, informing her scraggly-haired teenaged son that "Frank's going to join us." The kid doesn't seem too thrilled to hear it. His name is Derek, by the way, because if you're Kiefer's landlady, what else are you going to name your kid when you live ten feet from the oil fields? Kiefer himself enters after a moment, just as Diane is admonishing the kid not to drink O.J. out of the carton. Kiefer even offers the kid a glass, which he ignores, choosing instead to take another swig out of the carton while staring right at Kiefer. Embarrassed, Kiefer lets it go, even though he could have that carton coming out the kid's ass in about five seconds. As the boys awkwardly sit down at the table, the kid's got something to ask his buddy "Frank": he gets Kiefer to confirm his cover story about having worked on an Alaskan oil rig called the Albatross during the previous year. And, as luck would have it, the kid has a friend who's brother's been on the Albatross for five years, "and he's never heard of any Frank Flynn," Derek accuses. He should read some Gregory McDonald books, then. Diane looks over towards the table with interest as Kiefer gets all evasive. Diane comes to the table, telling Derek to chill out. But now, Kiefer has figured out that the kid's probably bluffing, and calmly asks what the friend's brother's name is. The kid can't meet Kiefer's cool gaze, and excuses himself. Diane makes apologies for her "overprotective" (read: "obnoxious") son. Kiefer starts to say more, but Diane doesn't want to hear it: "I trust my instincts. And I trust you." So are they doing it or not?
If I hadn't already been sure that Palmer was a Democrat, the sight of a Fox News anchor smirking as he delivers the news of his death seals the deal. This time, the broadcast is being watched by Tony as he stands in his kitchen, looking as unhappy as ever at 7:13:33. Michelle is also there, looking fetching in jeans and a red tank top with her hair all loose and wavy. And of course, the scene wouldn't be complete without that Cubs mug in Tony's hand. I wonder how many of those he's been through. Michelle's on the phone trying to get through to CTU to volunteer their services in the search for Palmer's killer. Tony isn't really on board with this plan; in fact, he takes the phone from her and hangs it up, saying it's not their job anymore and that CTU can handle it. Michelle reminds Tony of their past experiences dealing with attempts on Palmer's life. She says she doesn't regret leaving CTU, but doesn't want to look back on today and realize she could have helped. Oh, don't worry. You won't. Tony reminds her of a meeting they have with a potential client in less than an hour. Michelle tells him he's on his own with that, and starts to head out. He tries to stop her, but she won't be stopped. She kisses him on the cheek and heads out the door without another word. Tony picks up the cordless phone to call their potential client as he watches Michelle out the window, now wearing a maroon jacket over the tank top. Tony gets through to his potential client's voicemail, and is in the process of leaving a message saying that Michelle is skipping the meeting. Then he pauses and adds, "On second thought, I'm going with her." No sooner are the words out of his mouth than the window behind him shatters and he's knocked flat on his face by what my closed-captioning describes as a "booming explosion." Can't argue with that. He's dazed for a moment, but quickly gets up and runs outside, where the shattered hulk of Michelle's car is burning brightly. He calls her name, and finds her on the ground nearby under the charred car door. He tosses it aside, and cradles her bleeding, hair-fried form in his arms, checking her pulse. And then the gas tank blows up behind him, engulfing them both in flames. I think I read somewhere that they were running a private security company. I doubt their clients will be impressed to learn that these big-time security analysts can't even keep themselves from getting blown up.