Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT How Are You A Person?
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.10.2013
L/G: "Coercion. The ME even said specifically they didn't collect anything under there."
Liz: "Your Honor this report is the height of irrelevancy. The very height!"
L/G: "Uh, no, this is you doing the exact thing you accused us of, but even worse."
Liz: "This defense is based on smears!"
L/G: "So's your mama's underpants!"
Judge Bebe: "It's true. In this case your mama's underpants are totally based on smears. Dismissed."
Liz: "Your Honor, number one the government of the United States of American disagrees with your characterization of our actions. And also, number two is, Sister Judy wants to steal Lemond Bishop's baby and is willing to testify just any old thing we tell her to, until such time as Lester torments and terrifies her."
Which is what happened. I feel like you get the gist. She's like, "Oh, I forgot that on the night of Christina Diaz's death he came home covered in buckets of blood and gore, did I not mention that?" And everybody's like, "No you did not."
Cary: "Judy, during your brother's divorce -- from a woman I feel it would be unbecoming to remind you was recently chopped into a billion pieces for threatening this man's custody of his son, just like you are doing -- you wrote him a glowing reference letter. What happened?"
Judy: "Well, the real answer is I like having a kid. But the fake answer is, I was simply unaware that my brother was the biggest drug kingpin in like, the entire middle half of America."
Alicia: "Judge, this witness is worthless. She is a stealer of babies..."
(They kind of have conversations with each other for a second and it's awkward.)
Judge Bebe: "Nevertheless, we've lost his alibi for that night."
Alicia: "Um, okay. Can I have a recess? I guess?"
A HORSE FARM
Robyn Burdine: "Don't you worry, Kalinda! I will be very quiet and not help or talk."
Kalinda: "I already don't believe you, but I appreciate you at least think that's how you'll behave."
They are approached by a horse man, who has the most ill-advised sideburns of anyone who is not currently starring in a failed backdoor pilot for an Office spinoff. It's awful. It's punchable, like these bright orange landing strips lining either side of his stupid face. I don't even know what you would call that. Punchface Muttonstrips. The Old Ginger Put-'Em-Ups. O'Leary Pugilistos.
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