Episode Report Card Potes: C+ | 74 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Pretty Pretenders, Negligent Vendors
By Potes | Season 4 | Episode 22 | Aired on 2012.10.07
Things get still when Andy asks Teresa why she thinks Caroline won't accept her apology, and then Caroline says she wants to clear some things up. When the Giudice bankruptcy first happened, says Caroline, they were there for Teresa. Teresa does not argue with this. Then when Kathy and Melissa came into the picture, Caroline says, she was horrible to them, out of loyalty to Teresa. Eventually, she apologized to them, which I think I remember from some time ago. Or maybe Caroline talked about it on the last reunion? Teresa admits that she was hurt when Kathy and Melissa came on the show, and Caroline says that she felt for Teresa until she met them. In turn, she asks Teresa how she thinks it felt for Caroline to watch her with Dina at the Fabellini party. It was a knife in Caroline's heart, and Caroline asks why it's okay for Teresa to bring Dina on the show to talk shit about her but not for the producers to bring Teresa's relatives on the show to talk shit about her. Teresa argues that she and Dina are friends, and Dina was just supporting her at her fake party. This gives Andy an opening to ask what Caroline's relationship with Dina is now, and Caroline says that they're not speaking. Oh how I wish Dina would come back for good. I think Grandma Wrinkles should be moderating this reunion as well.
Oh God, and then if you thought things couldn't get worse, it's time for a montage about Melissa's perfect life and burgeoning recording career. Death, destruction. Melissa promotes her new song, "I Just Wanna," and accompanying video. A viewer asks Teresa if she thinks Melissa can sing without Auto-Tune, and Teresa notes that she appears to lip sync quite a bit. Melissa then sings a verse of her song right there and, I am loath to admit, is marginally not terrible. I mean, she's not good either, but she can carry like half of a tune. Teresa first wants to hear Melissa sing a whole song, and then proceeds to say that she can sing too and bust into the chorus of "On Display." Caroline cannot believe the shitshow, but is clearly rather enjoying it. Andy asks Melissa how she felt when Teresa's kids criticized her singing, and Melissa says that it hurts because she loves them. Teresa says that she reprimanded them afterwards, but Caroline and Jacqueline mumble that she was laughing in the scene.
Things somehow get to the point where Jacqueline pretends to sleep and Teresa offers to cook chicken cutlets in front of everyone. Melissa then says that they all know that Teresa's mother cooks the meal and then she tweets the picture. And then things get back to Melissa lip syncing, and Melissa explains that she actually sings to a track when performing live, which is not the same thing as lip syncing. Well, marginally. I don't think anyone is claiming that Melissa is the next Maria Callas, though. While yet more yelling happens, Caroline mumbles to Jacqueline that Teresa always has to push down the success of others. And, ugh. I am going to take a moment here to reflect upon how happy I am that this show is ending next week, and also to ask for some reader advice on a not-unrelated topic. What do you do when you have a cat -- let's call this cat "Caroline" -- who is bullying another cat -- whom we shall call "Teresa." "Teresa" has gotten to the point where when she enters a room she just slinks under a chair or table and tries to stay perfectly still while never relaxing. "Caroline," meanwhile, darts at "Teresa" and attacks her at any given opportunity. She also weighs exactly double what "Teresa" weighs, so could potentially do damage in a physical altercation. Right now they're mostly separated, which is wearing on all parties quite a bit. They have been living together for one month, which is like four Housewives seasons in feline years. Their sister-in-law "Dina" is a whole other matter, though a less pressing issue overall. If anyone has peacemaking advice, please email me at potesypotes@gmail.com! The Pawsche fashion show is coming up in mere weeks, and I want everything to go as smoothly as possible.