Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | 330 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Thrilling Bureaucratic Intrigue!
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 16 | Aired on 2006.04.03
The blonde chick from Homeland Security is typing away on Chloe's keyboard, much to Chloe's dismay. I'm surprised Chloe's not spewing a bunch of condescending technobabble at her replacement about how much she sucks. Instead, she spots Buchanan across the floor and heads over to him, ignoring Blondie's protests that they aren't finished. She asks Buchanan what's going on, and he promises, "This is not over. Just follow your instructions." He promises that he's going to get the order rescinded, and that the best thing Chloe can do now is "stay focused and follow your orders." That's our Buchanan: drop your pants, bend over, and await your inevitable vindication. He puts a comforting hand on her shoulder, and Chloe manages not to accuse him of sexual harassment. Slime happens by to interrupt the tender moment, telling Chloe not to transfer her station over to Blondie yet. "You got a pass," he grumbles. Chloe's surprised, and Slime can't even give good news pleasantly as he snaps, "Get back to work." Chloe's still chonfused, so Slime says Audrey demanded that Chloe be kept on. Buchanan asks what Audrey has to do with it, so of course Slime gleefully explains that Audrey signed a statement outlining all the shit Buchanan did wrong. Buchanan looks thrown by that as Slime adds, "So for the moment, she gets what she wants and she wants O'Brian." Chlaudrey shippers rejoice! Buchanan's in denial, until Audrey appears behind him saying, "I did sign it, Bill." Buchanan is shocked and betrayed, saying any chances of rescinding the order are now shot to hell. And Audrey acts all tenfold cold as she says she's sorry. Who knew Audrey was as good an actor as Kim Raver is? She walks away, Chloe staring after her in disgust. "O'Brian?" Miles smirks, directing her back to her station with a nasty glance.
And because it's been a while since anyone's explained that Evelyn's daughter has been kidnapped, she's telling the whole story to Wayne again as he drives her car through the night. Sure, it's her car, but since there's a guy there to drive, what else are they going to do? I can only assume he refrained from telling her how he hurt his hand in the first place. Wayne tries again to get her to spill what she knows in case something goes wrong, but she's still adamant that she's not saying anything until her daughter is safe. Wayne changes the subject to the question of why she contacted his brother with her information. Evelyn says she knew him through his friendship with FLOTUS. "He was truly a wonderful man," she manages to say straight-faced. And she must think FLOTUS is truly an asshole. Seriously, instead of telling her boss, the First Lady, she went to Palmer, who went to the First Lady. And then she didn't say a word to anyone when FLOTUS was all nearly crazy with trying to find proof of David trying to warn her about some scary information he'd gotten, which turned out to be FROM EVELYN. Jeez, how long has her kid been kidnapped, anyway? Instead of wondering about any of this, Wayne sadly agrees with her assessment of his brother, and you can see the tears in his eyes even in the dark. Evelyn says she never thought the information would endanger David's life: "I have your brother's blood on my hands and I will never forgive myself." Wayne lets her off the hook on that score. As for the blood of the people who've died since this morning while she kept her mouth shut, that remains to be seen. God, listen to me, going on about this like it's anyone's fault but the writers'. Plan the season in advance, fuckers!