Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | 330 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Thrilling Bureaucratic Intrigue!
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 16 | Aired on 2006.04.03
At CTU, Slime says they'd better get started on implementing the Veep's order. But Hayes still isn't convinced they have sufficient political cover to pull it off in light of all the lives that CTU just saved. Slime suggests getting someone to roll over on Buchanan, but Hayes points out that Buchanan's people are loyal and therefore unlikely to go along. So Slime slimily explains that he's thinking of targeting Audrey, who's been there all day and who also has loyalties to the DoD that he can play off of. "Let me draft a statement and present it to her," Slime oozes. And then he quickly grows a mustache to twirl. The really amazing thing is that all this time they're spending plotting and scheming and politicking causes Christopher Henderson to magically materialize in a CTU holding room. Okay, not really.
Buchanan's finally decided to let Audrey in on what's going on regarding the takeover by DHS. She's in denial about it: "They can't do that, not after what you've accomplished today." He agrees that it's a really bad time to be making a changeover, what with the search for Henderson still going on, but he points out that Hayes is getting her orders from the Vice President. Neither of them understands what the Veep is up to. I hope I'm not giving too much away by remarking that the Veep has got his hands full with a boatload of misdirection. By the way, Audrey looks outstanding again, and, like her late husband, appears to have the innate ability to recover from the effects of horrific torture in a matter of minutes. Which is forcing me to develop all manner of unsavory theories about their bedroom habits.
Speaking of Henderson, here he is now. He appears to be set up with a few gunmen inside some large, abandoned industrial facility. And if Homeland Security will just hurry up and level all of these places, I fully support the takeover. Henderson's on the phone with the head of the hit squad that tried to kill Wayne Palmer last hour. The guy has to explain that Wayne "knocked Cobb out and retrieved his weapon." Wow. Go, Wayne. Not that I believe it for a second. The hit man then adds that someone came to Wayne's rescue. Henderson isn't nearly as pissed as you might expect; he simply checks his watch and says, "We're going to a fallback. Scrub the scene and get over here." He hangs up. No way are they going to have time to "scrub the scene." The best they'll be able to do is a light rinsing.