Episode Report Card Al Lowe: A | 129 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Wedding Bell Blues
By Al Lowe | Season 5 | Episode 13 | Aired on 2005.02.08
This was all just to steel Rory's nerves to make a move on the hated Logan, and we can see her wheels turning as the scene cuts to Luke spinning Lorelai around the floor with just a "touch of spazzy." As "Moon River" swells in the air, Rory crosses the room with determination, towards Logan. They have an obnoxious exchange that makes him look like the King of All Asses and her look like the Queen of Desperation. God, I hate it so much I had to pause the Tivo and walk around flexing my fingers for five minutes, reliving all the embarrassing scenes of my early twenties when I engaged in similar ignorant and painful displays.
Rory finally asks him dance, just so she can boldly (she thinks) ask if he likes her and also ask if he's ever going to ask her out. He gets quiet and she regrets it immediately, trying to pull away so she can go begin "burrowing myself into the ground. I should be in China by midnight." Poor, stupid girl. But wait, it gets stupider.
"Rory, Rory," Logan says, acting for all the world like some kind of grown-up and not a guy who just three years ago got his first driver's license. He says he's thought several times about asking her out, but that he doesn't think it's such a good idea. I hope y'all are sitting down, because the next thing he says is, oh, say it with me, "because you're special." Then the patented "you're so special, you're girlfriend material and I'm not boyfriend material. I can't do commitment! If I were to date you, there would be no dating. It would be 'something' right away. I'm not that guy." She, naturally, throws dignity to the wind and says that she's not looking for commitment; she just wants to get to know him and spend some time with him.
OH MY GOD. RORY! Please run AWAY. Run away from Logan! Logan's Run! Do it now! Because, child, here is the problem: He's an asshole, but guess what? HE is NOT LYING. YOU ARE.