Episode Report Card Erin: A | 355 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Who's Yer Daddy? Oh. It's Nathan.
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 14 | Aired on 2007.02.05
Hiro says that he has a different destiny than CEO in mind for himself, and that destiny involves taking the dino painting to Vegas so that he can steal Takezo Kensei's sword, then use his powers to stop a bomb from blowing up New York. Daddy Hiro's like, son, did you force-feed yourself a jar full of apeshit this morning? And what's this crap about Kensei's sword? Those were just stories I told you to get you to shut the hell up about Donkey Kong when you were a little kid! Hiro's all, Dad, I can totally bend space and time -- I just need that stupid sword to do it! Daddy Hiro's all, here's what I think of your stupid-ass destiny! And he rips the dino painting into quarters and throws them on the ground in a huff. "We're going home!" he snaps. Hiro looks sad.
Cut to Niki, passed out on the floor of the interview room, the room around her in shambles. A gaggle of guards storm in as she wakes up. She's totally confused as to what's going on until they grab her and she sees Dr. Demento on the floor in the corner with a couple dozen Taser burns in her back. She's not dead, but she's in a bad way. Niki freaks the fuck out and demands to be taken back to her cell. The guards are all, uh, DUH. And then they knock her out.
Commercials. Norbit looks like a really stupid movie. Know what else is stupid? Releasing said stupid movie BEFORE the Oscars. Hi, Eddie Murphy? Here endeth your "comeback," dude. You can kiss that little gold statue goodbye. Because once the Academy voters have seen that poster where you're both Norbit AND the big scary fat black lady, they're going to wonder what the fuck they were thinking by nominating you in the first place. Nice going, Dr. Doostupid.
New York. Peter and Claude are walking down a busy street. Claude's laughing his ass off as Peter bitches at him about almost getting arrested. "A little more focus and you'd have some cash and fresh lipstick," chortles Claude. Hee. He's getting all the best lines in this episode. Claude reminds Peter that he never said it'd be easy; in fact, he distinctly remembers telling Peter that it'd be "crap." Heh. "Hey, you've been doing this for fifteen years," pouts Peter. "Cut me a little slack on trying to do it for five minutes." Claude assures him that he'll learn, and they just have to find out what's holding him back. Peter says that the cops have his address, so he's pretty sure Nathan's going to kill him before he has a chance to explode. "You worry a lot about your people, don't you?" observes Claude. "Your friends, your mother, your brother. No wonder your head's all clogged. You're still sunk under." Peter's like, the what? Speak ENGLISH. Claude says that Peter's suffering beneath the weight of all his personal attachments. "All these people who feed you biscuits and pat your head and tell you you're not fit for the outdoors," Claude quips. Hee.