It's Big Band Night, which means a live, 25-piece band backing up the performers tonight. That of course represents the greatest challenge the top eight have ever faced, but then everything does. Also, they're dedicating their performances to their loved ones, because it's Thanksgiving week. Which also makes this the greatest challenge they've ever faced. Can't they ever just let these kids sing for fun? Oh, right they did that already a few weeks ago, by mistake.
The orchestra plays Mario out onstage with that familiar big-band standard, "Live and Let Die." They sound pretty great, I have to admit. Very loud and brassy. Just to show everyone how it's done, Michael Bublé comes out and performs "You Make Me Feel So Young" with the band, showing off a lot more facial and bodily tics than Carlos Guevara ever could have dreamed of displaying. And I think he gets to sing the whole song, too. Fewer contestants, more filler! Afterward, Mario tells us that the acts will be singing against each other later. Which is going to be a lot easier than singing against Michael Bublé, I'm currently thinking. Apparently he's been a guest mentor this week as well. Did you know he has a new album out? How's that for a coincidence?
Demi's Girls category is starting off the night with Rion Paige. She says this is her first time singing with a full band, as well as her first crack at doing choreography. She's dedicating this performance to her mother, which is fine with me because Rion's mom is one of the most charismatic people on the show this season. Rion's number is an up-tempo version of "Swingin'" by John Anderson, which is a pretty clever move. It'll shut Simon up about her not doing any country songs, while still keeping in the theme, because look, swing! It's not so much choreography as blocking, but at least it gets her and her headset mic moving around and she sounds great as always.
Kelly gives her credit for the way she works the stage while keeping the vocals strong. Paulina gushes about how wonderful it was, and Simon asks if she chose the song, because it was the absolutely perfect choice. He thinks it was one of her best, "in a way," whatever that means Demi thinks it was her actual best, and warns Simon to look out. Simon looks too happy to be threatened right now, probably because he gets to sign the winner no matter who it ends up being.
Simon introduces his country-boy-band-Frankengroup Restless Road even more awkwardly than I just did, and we flash back to last week's rough performance from them. They're trying to come back from that, and all three of them are dedicating tonight's performance to Andrew's uncle Bill. It seems he was a fellow music-lover and an inspiration to Andrew, and was killed in a plane crash at an air show. So if you don't vote for them you have no heart and hate America. Their "big band" number is "Life Is a Highway" by Tom Cochrane via Rascal Flatts, which is big band in the sense that horns have been added. Not a great song choice, and they're not sounding their best either. Having been burned on the harmonies last week, they seem to be trying to avoid them as much as possible, and they completely fail to take advantage of Zach's deep voice.
However, Kelly says their hard work shows this week, and that they've improved a lot. Demi agrees that they did well and look like stars, and that this is her favorite performance by them. Paulina says something about the "complicity" between the group members, and agrees that they did better than last week, and there's nothing sexier than "guys like you two." Which is an interesting thing to say to a trio. Simon tells the others that the group chose the song, and appreciates their look, particularly Andrew's jacket-no-tie-three-shirt-buttons-open outfit, which frankly looks better on Andrew than it does on Simon. I wasn't expecting the judges to like them so much tonight. They were either a lot better than I thought this time or a lot worse than I thought last week.
Kelly introduces Jeff Gutt, who finally gets to address Simon's question from last week about why he hasn't made it yet. Not that he does. He does say his dad made a lot of sacrifices to help him succeed as a musician, which doesn't really answer the question as much as it accomplishes the opposite of that. At least his dad is the answer to the question of whom he's dedicating tonight's performance. We see him on FaceTime on the phone with his dad, who tells him how much they miss him at home, even as he turns out to be walking up behind him in person. Nice This Is Your Life moment. Greg tells us how proud he is that Jeff says he's doing this for his son, which I understand less every time someone says it. I mean, if this is really to give the kid a better life, there are a lot more reliable career paths than rock star. Anyway, for his song, Jeff is doing one of those songs you hear on these shows more than you hear them anywhere else: "Feelin' Good." He makes it his own, Gutting it out like he usually does, but less self-consciously while keeping it vocally solid.
Demi says she never expected him to sing this song, but he killed it. Paulina likes how it's a song from a film, whatever that has to do with anything. Simon calls it "absolutely fantastic," saying he loved everything about it, and that Jeff's a decent guy who deserves a break. His mentor Kelly says she can't wait to download it, too. Jeff humbly says he was glad Kelly helped him out with the song. At some point, though, he's going to need her to help out with babysitting.
"My only boy, the amazing, is Josh Levy!" says Paulina, who still has two boys in the competition. You may recall that Josh had another great night last week, and only regrets that his grandmother couldn't be there. I think we all know where this is going. He's dedicating this to her, which his mom appreciates. And of course there's the bib moment when Grandma Barbara shows up behind Josh while he's supposedly just hanging out. For his song, Josh steps out of a fake stage door in a suit and fedora to sing "Treasure" by Bruno Mars. Which is only slightly more big band than "Life Is a Highway," but at least the horns jazz it up a little. He does well with the singing and dancing, without letting the dancing overwhelm anything. And he's having a wonderful time, clearly.
So did Kelly, who thought it was "so…great!" Demi babbles enviously about some girl in the audience Josh interacted with, and Simon appreciated the energy of the performance, but adds that the choreography was a bit dated, which Paulina tries to shout down and says that everyone agrees that he was fantastic. "I'm into you, baby!" she announces. That's a logical argument.
Paulina then introduces "the only one, Carlito Olivero!" I know English isn't her first language, but someone should tell her what "only" means. We're reminded that Carlito was in the bottom two last week, which hit him hard. Probably not as hard as Tim Olstad, though. His Thanksgiving performance is dedicated to his parents, who get to join him for a little group therapy session in front of the cameras in which they tell each other how wonderful they are. Paulina's giving him a song to learn in both English and Spanish, so it'll be interesting to see how that's going to fit into Big Band night. Maybe a Glenn Miller/Xavier Cugat medley? No, it's actually just "Cup of Life" by Ricky Martin. He does indeed sing in both English and Spanish, though not at the same time. It's all about the loud horns and the showgirls on the stage with him, and his name in giant lights on the projection screens behind him. And then it ends with a confetti cannon, so Paulina has shown her usual restraint. In other words, the production is designed to create the illusion that Carlito is already a superstar, and I have to admit it's a pretty convincing one. It even seems to convince Carlito, who for once doesn't seem quite so desperate on the stage.
Kelly says it finally looked like he was having fun and getting out of his head, and to keep doing that. Demi says it was amazing and that he was a star just then, and this is what he does best. Simon agrees that Carlito has told them who he is, and he's proud of him for coming back fighting after last week. Paulina uses the word "fiesta" not once but twice in her feedback, so she's obviously pretty happy too. And Carlito's relieved enough to dance with Mario while he's trying to send it to ads. But at least he doesn't pick him up this time.
After a makeover clip-slash-infomercial sponsored by Cover Girl, which goes on forever, Simon introduces the "fantastically fabulous Alex & Sierra." We see a few clips of her tearful reactions from last week, when some of the judges told Alex he was so much better than she was. Which is really not doing him any favors, relationship-wise. He sweetly takes her on a picnic and convinces her that he wouldn't be there without her, and during rehearsal, Simon tells her that the other judges were just playing mindgames with her, like any judges do that who aren't Simon. And who are they dedicating their performance to? Each other, of course. Too bad they don't try sneaking up on each other. They're dressed all swank-forties for their swinging performance of "I Knew You Were Trouble" by Taylor Swift. Alex is crooning without his guitar for once, leaving his hands free to snap his fingers incessantly, like, cool, daddy-o. Sierra even gets a big vocal moment to prove what she's got to prove.
Kelly says that while she didn't love the version of the song, she thinks they were both stars. Demi says she hated the song at first, until they made her like it. Not that she explains how they did that. Paulina goes on about love and how amazing they are, and Simon credits them with picking the song, which he thinks was clever and cool, and adds that Sierra was able to "shut up the Witches of Eastwick." Shut up, Simon. You are no Jack Nicholson.
Lillie McCloud is up , and she's feeling good about last week. She's dedicating her performance to her Body-By-Jake-looking husband Terry. Lillie reveals that she was both physically and emotionally abused in relationships, but now she's got this nice supportive guy instead. Good for them both, I say. It's nice that they get to spend some of the holiday week together, even if she's going to be working most of the time. She's doing "Summertime," and this is dead-center in her comfort zone, allowing her to do it effortlessly -- though in a lower key than one usually hears -- and then blast the roof off the place at the end.
She gets a standing ovation from the female judges, and when they sit down, Demi is all, "Lillie, oh my God." She says Lillie has finally shown her range, and thinks this is the best she's ever done. Paulina says she always delivers. "That beauty, that voice, that figure!" One of those things was relevant. Simon says he loves that last note, "but…" Cue the boos. The but, it turns out, is that he wanted her to step off the pedestal and cut loose a bit, and that he wishes he'd been mentoring her. Lillie says she never talks back, but she very politely says that Simon is confusing her. She points out, quite dramatically, that he sometimes busts on her for being too theatrical, so she tries to avoid that. And all her mentor Kelly has to say about it is, "Simon, shut up." Pretty much says it all.
Finally, Demi introduces Ellona Santiago. She's still stung from Simon calling her a "dancing, singing puppet" last week, and she's dedicating this song to her oldest sister, Julie Rose, who now has stage four cancer. And who sneaks up behind her during rehearsal, in a sweet but now-obligatory moment. I'm just glad they didn't try to do that with Restless Road, because that would have been dark and wrong. Her song this week is a casino-themed performance of some loud, angry breakup song. There's plenty of choreography and stage business and shouting and even a little stripping.
Kelly says it was her best performance since being here. Paulina loves that she's a leader and a superstar, and is much more than a Muppet. Simon corrects that he said "puppet," not "Muppet," and now calls this performance a "game-changer." He just tells her to lose the dancers and make it about her time. He adds that she may now have a chance at winning, and sends his love to her sister as well. Who is of course in the audience, as we got to see her with Ellona's mom, looking a little terrified all through Ellona's song. Demi thankfully agrees with Simon, and says she's thought Ellona could win it all along. And all she needed to do was cast all restraint to the winds. She cranked that up so high they might as well call her Ellevena.
There's still enough time in the show for one more performance, and it's taking the form of a final, eight-way, head-to-head performance. Just about the dumbest idea this show has ever come up with, and that's saying something. We see them rehearsing "Cry Me a River," with Michael Bublé showing up to mentor them through what he calls this "bad-ass song." He suggests Sierra change her notes (just what she needs, says Alex), because her range isn't high enough, and works with everyone else on their individual lines as well. The intro reel goes on longer than the actual song is likely to, in fact.
When the awkwardly huge group sing finally starts, each act gets to sing a couple of lines, starting with Jeff Gutt, then Carlito, then Rion Paige, then the terrified-looking Restless Road (one member at a time), then Sierra and Alex, then Ellona Santiago, then Lillie McCloud, then the out-of-his depth Josh Levi, before they all harmonize the final lines, except for Restless Road's Zach finally getting to use his deep voice on all of two words. Also, the band is playing the accompaniment like this is the climax of an action movie.
After that's over, Mario starts polling the judges for their opinions, I guess because we're running a bit short. Kelly loved Ellona and Lille the most, but complains that Restless Road missed the opportunity to harmonize. Demi says both her Girls did great, especially Ellona, as well as Josh and Carlito. She thought Lillie could have given her more, though Kelly protests that she only got one line. Paulina is obviously pulling for her own Josh and Carlito, but dug Ellona as well, though she didn't love Jeff. Simon gives his opinion not of any individual singers but of this absurd exercise in general, saying that's it's ridiculous to judge someone on three lines. However, he's willing to say he thought Ellona has the best night vocally. The voting lines are opened, and tomorrow there will be two eliminations, performances from Michael Bublé and Demi, and some extra-filling Thanksgiving filler that should make you almost as sleepy as your turkey does.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.