Eight it Up

S02E20

When we come back, Mario has thrown Khloe to the audience, where a girl boasts about having voted for Tate Stevens 157 times last week (oh, so she's the one), a young guy man kvells about CeCe and Demi and a couple of girls yell out the names of Carly Rose and Emblem3. Thanks for that moment of vox populi, Khloe.

Paige talks in her intro reel about how she wants to do more dancing. When she tells Demi about this, her mentor correctly points out that big production numbers tend to end up netting her a low ranking, whereas last week's stripped-down, vulnerable performance got her in... sixth! Paige isn't trying to hear that, so Demi's like, "It's your funeral." So for her performance, Paige splits the difference, doing roughly the same thing Diamond did, but with "Never Gonna Give You Up" and not nearly as well. She skips the dancers, and the beat -- when it kicks in -- is rather more muted, so it's still mostly just her out there on her own. And thus we get to hear that she's not such a great singer after all. Thanks for clearing that up, Paige. Oh, but here are the dancers coming out at the very end. Too late. L.A. says this was her best performance yet, so maybe Paige has been worse than I thought up until now. Britney says it was a risk, but it worked. Simon starts by asking who picked the outfit. "Kind of everyone," Paige says. Simon's asking because he thinks it was the first time she's looked and sounded like a legitimate pop star (although he was clearly going to run down a whole litany of aspects of the performance and was expecting Paige to let him tick all of them off under her name), and he tweaks Demi by saying Paige needs to make more of her own decisions. Demi tries to claim some of the credit while Simon interrupts, but the narrative's out there and the hosts help push it when they join Paige. Who actually looks happier than she has in weeks.

Coming back, Simon is tapped to introduce Fifth Harmony, whom he claims he can feel a wave behind. Normani talks about how it was hard to lose Arin last week, but she's still got her other conjoined quintuplets to lean on. Even sadder is the fact that apparently Ally's grandfather died this last week and she's taking it pretty hard. I don't think she wants to take back last week's performance, though. Tonight they're singing "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson, with their feet planted the whole time. It's a decent arrangement, except for how the bridge highlights Dinah Jane as the weakest singer of the five and the Charlie's Angels graphics of them that keep flashing on the screens. L.A. starts by offering his condolences to Ally and tells her to stay strong before saying the performance was good, but not groundbreaking and he didn't hear enough harmonies. Britney says something about how it worked for a group, but feels her self-imposed five-second comment deadline looming and blurts, "Girl power!" Demi also expresses her sympathies, but says it was a little low-energy with the lack of movement. Simon gives a shout-out to the songwriters and calls it a "fantastic, fantastic performance," and says Ally's grandfather would be proud. Mario doesn't manage to get them off the stage and into the commercials without a measure of inappropriate smarm, though.

L.A. introduces Vino, who will be doing "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling." For a guy who looks so alternative, he spends a lot of time in the middle of the road. Also, I hate to do this to you because it drives me crazy when someone points out something I can't ever unsee, but I've just realized that Vino looks like a bald, tattooed Tommy Lee Jones when he smiles. Anyway, Vino's happy about being solidly in third place throughout, but L.A. doesn't appreciate his complacency -- which may have contributed to his last-minute decision to switch him from "If You Don't Know Me By Now" after a lackluster rehearsal. And then... commercial. So I guess the songs aren't the only thing being expanded after all.

Vino comes right out after the ads, hatless for once, but making up for it by hunching his head right down into his shoulders. He looks really uncomfortable, at least until a brief, ill-advised reggae breakdown in the middle. Also, it's not really working for his voice. I think L.A. might have finally cracked him out of third place, but in the wrong direction. Britney tells him he keeps doing the same thing every week and needs to change it up. Demi agrees. Simon, who was staring daggers at him during the performance, says he has a great singing voice and there are a lot of songs he can do a great job with, but this wasn't one of them. He tells L.A. he took a risk and it didn't work. L.A. just chuckles that he completely disagrees and that the other judges are just threatened by Vino. Nice try, L.A. Khloe reminds L.A. that he said in the clip that he'd take full responsibility for the song change, which L.A. does, but without admitting that it didn't work out so well. Mario asks Britney to expound on what she'd like to see different from Vino, and she says she wants something more up-tempo from him. "'Oops, I Did it Again,'" L.A. cracks into a dead mic. Well, there's always week for Vino... unless there isn't.

Britney is caught off guard at being asked to introduce Carly Rose Sonenclar. In her intro reel, Carly gets to have a cupcake-date with her brother Russell, who warns her that she's the target now. So she smushes a cupcake in his face. Britney is having Carly sing "Rolling in the Deep," so I guess we can set the Adele clock back to zero. Here we go again with the slow beginning and Carly gets through most of it without even trying, just coasting on the maturity and quality of her voice until it's time to blow it out at the end, which she does, but again, without even trying that hard. L.A. tells her she's insanely talented and lovable, but this wasn't her very best. "Even your second best is better than everybody else's first best," he allows. Demi says she's not even Carly's mentor and she's so proud of her. I think Demi might try to poach her. Carly has to answer the question about her age for the umpteenth time (still 13), and Simon says it was good for the first half and sensational for the second half. Simon's only issue with her is that she's clearly not human and thus may need to be disqualified. Britney says they took a risk and brought her to the level. Insightful.

It's Tate's turn, and he tells his wife backstage how humbled he was at being bumped from number one to number two last week, while she looks at him like this is just another example of his peaking early. He tells us that he can't go back to all the hard work and all the bills waiting for him back in Belton, Missouri if he blows this. He admits to L.A. that Carly Rose seemed like number one last week, and L.A. tells him to switch it up. So Tate comes out onstage with a full country band -- banjo and all -- to sing "Somebody Like You" (no, not another Adele song). He's wearing an acoustic guitar with a monogrammed strap that I think I might have caught him actually strumming a time or two, but he looks like he's actually having a good time out there for once. Backstage, even his wife smiles. Britney tells him we'll see him accept a Country Music Award one day. If we watched that show, maybe. Demi likes how he dedicates all his songs to his wife, and she hopes someone loves her that much someday. Plus she felt like she was at a barbecue back in Texas. "I think that might be a bit of a tall order, actually," Simon snarks at Demi, because he can't resist a dickish comment when it's that easy. Turning to Tate, Simon starts with the bad news: "Don't dance." Other than that he liked it a lot, saying that he and Tate have likability in common. L.A. corrects that Tate is lovable. When the hosts come out, Khloe can't get Tate to two-step because he has his orders from Simon. So Simon is clearly not only liked but feared.

After the break, Mario's up in the control room, which means a lengthy pitch for the X Factor app that goes longer than it takes me to type this. Back to Khloe onstage, who throws it to Demi to introduce CeCe. In her intro reel, CeCe accuses, "I gave 110% and you guys still put me in the bottom two." Yeah, but 110% of a bad thing is still bad, sweetie. CeCe determines to sit down and work out with Demi what's gone wrong, and Demi basically tells her, "Uh, sing better." CeCe's like, "Yeah, but what can I do different?" So that cues a series of clips of her in rehearsal, flailing desperately. She's singing "Lady Marmalade" on a headache-inducing set, looking awkward and bored through what passes for her choreography even though the one thing everybody apparently wanted from her all week -- apart from better singing -- is that old fire in her eyes. That wasn't fire, you guys, that was LEDs. At some point it ends, and L.A. tells her she's going down fighting, emphasizing the part where she is going down. "I hate to say this, but I actually enjoyed that circus," he admits. Britney says it's a tough week, but CeCe has stepped it up like everyone else. Simon says the performance made it feel like he'd had 62 helpings of chocolate cake, what with all the distractions and sensory overload. Maybe stop making the flirty-faces at him when he's saying that, CeCe. Demi insists that she came out swinging and she's proud of her, because it's not like she's much more likely to win this thing with Paige. CeCe makes it to the break with a smile on, even though Simon told her to pack a suitcase. I've been wanting her to do that for months.

So then they play that new will.i.am featuring Britney Spears video, and I stopped recapping music videos about the same time MTV stopped playing them. But that doesn't mean I'm above making fun of the fake English accent she seems to be using on the track. At least she's got more to say in the song than she ever does from the judges' table.

Speaking of that piece of furniture, we return to it from the ads at the same time L.A. is coming back from the bathroom and there's only one act to go. Simon introduces his golden boys Emblem3 and we see them cop to coasting a bit last week before ending up in fourth place. And then, because it's all soooo intense, they... go shopping. They soon find themselves the center of attention, as people recognize them and gather around until it threatens to turn into a scene from A Hard Day's Night. I'm sure they would have been recognized so quickly even without the X Factor cameras following them around. Simon calls them up and tells them to focus on getting number one this week. They do the Smash Mouth version of "I'm a Believer," with stars and stripes on the projector screens and dancers in American flag booty shorts and -- wait, what are they doing there? Are those... harmonies? Or maybe that's just the backup singers. Simon has certainly turned everything up to eleven in the production, which has fireworks and searchlights and about three different endings. L.A. tells them that he'd not only sign them, he'd put the whole building behind them, because "you have the X Factor." One of the guys gives a long, grateful speech about how excited they are to be there. Britney says she's a believer in them (look who's paying attention!), but didn't like the song. At which point it becomes apparent that they think they're supposed to respond verbally to all of the judges' comments. Demi agrees that she doesn't know what Simon's doing with them, having them do the same thing every week. "But people are going to like you 'cause you're good looking and you're young," she says dismissively. As though part of the reason they're here isn't the way they used to give Demi chronic lady-boners. They pipe up that they play instruments and have original music and a record. What are they doing here, then? Simon basically gives Demi a "look who's talking" kiss-off and says he's sold three hundred million records and this was one of his favorite performances from them. Which is totally objective and not at all motivated by any self-interest whatsoever.

Khloe and Mario come out and tell Demi and Simon to play nice and Mario opens the phone lines. Which is odd, because over all the recap clips of tonight's performance, it keeps saying that "Voting Opens At End Of Show," which I guess we're pretty close to. Double elimination again tomorrow night, which I always love. Plus performances from Alicia Keys and Josh Kracjzick, who was probably my favorite from last year, even though I seem to have already forgotten how to spell his name.

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.

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