It’s Thanksgiving week again, so like last year, the finalists are telling us who in their lives they’re thankful for. Tate’s giving thanks to his dad, Diamond to his mom, Arin to his older brother Aris, CeCe to her late sister Kelsey, Fifth Harmony to God, Beatrice to her younger sisters, Emblem3 to “two people who’ve been very impactful in our lives,” (but not impactful enough to make them stop saying things like “impactful”), Vino to the U.S. military, Paige to the person who took her in, and Carly to her older brother. So the good news is that there’s only ten acts left as of tonight. That’s what I’m thankful for.
Mario and Khloe come out onstage, and the camera picks out more Kardashian and Kardashian-adjacents in the audience before the hosts tell us that it’s going to be another double elimination this week. Something else to be grateful for. They pop the leaderboard up on the screen, and Mario asks who’s going to remember this Thanksgiving as the week they topped it, and who’s going to be too forever scarred by tomorrow’s crushing defeat to be able tolerate the holiday ever again. Though not quite in those words. The mentors and their acts are brought out on stage with all the noisy fanfare usually reserved for people we didn’t just see all together six days ago. Then Mario and Khloe ask L.A. to introduce his first act of the night. L.A., who clearly wasn’t paying attention, quickly blurts out Tate’s name. The intro reel is all about Tate’s father, who apparently emulated his dad in more ways than one, right down to loving music but giving it up to earn a living for the family. Except that when Tate’s dad was Tate’s age, all the people who were singing on TV were already famous — the opposite of today — so something like this wouldn’t have been an option for him. Tate comes out and sings an emotional version of “Already There,” surrounded by a blitzkrieg of klieg lights, both real and projected. Of course Tate’s always emotional, even when he’s not singing. When he’s done, Britney goes first, saying L.A.’s doing a great job with him. Demi agrees, and says that although this wasn’t his best, it was still incredible. Simon agrees with Demi, saying Tate’s voice broke a few times, but “Does that mean you’re going home? Not a cat in Hell’s chance.” L.A. says Tate’s fantastic, and Khloe adds that she thinks Tate sings with a lot of emotion. Because we all care what Khloe Kardashian-Odom thinks.
Britney introduces Diamond White, who is singing “Because You Loved Me” for her mom, Deborah. Apparently her dad was absent, and she gave up on him when she was about seven and has seen her mom as her only parent ever since. And then her mom apparently almost died of scoliosis somehow a few years ago, which I didn’t even know was possible. Diamond performs her song on an island in a mist-covered stage, keeping it pretty simple and doing a good enough job that L.A. and Demi both look blown away as well. In fact, all the non-Simon judges give her a standing ovation. L.A. says she’s had some amazing moments on this stage, but never one like this. “You are the truth,” he says, which is like his biggest compliment. Demi is choked up talking about how much the song means to her. Simon tells her she’s both “fearless and incredible,” and he believed every word of the song. Britney: “It was really beautiful, sweetie.” Well, at least one of the two of them is trying. Khloe comes out and comments to Diamond about how her mom is “crying hysterically.” Which she’s not, and you’d think a Kardashian would have a better idea of what that looks like.
When we return, Mario’s in the back row with some female audience members again, which is starting to make me wonder if there are any of the other kind. And Khloe’s backstage asking Beatrice Miller about whether she’s feeling any additional pressure after being down near the bottom of the leaderboard again last week. Beatrice gives a rehearsed answer that impresses her, like she’s hard to impress.
<>Emblem3 is thanking their “youth leaders.” The two brothers had a guy named Ben who was like a spiritual camp counselor in Washington state, while a dude named Sean apparently took the other one down to Haiti to build houses after the earthquake a few years ago. And thanks to the spiritual and moral guidance of these men, Emblem3 is thus the wholesome young douchebags you see before you today. Their “gratitude” song is “Secrets,” which, okay. I don’t really get it but neither do they. Ben and Sean appear to have appreciated it from the audience, though. L.A. says it lacked emotion, Britney tells Simon that it was a well-done change of pace (so, good job, Simon). Demi agrees with Britney more than she does with L.A., and of course Simon thinks they’re awesome and wouldn’t say otherwise even if he didn’t. Khloe asks L.A. what more he wants from them, and L.A., although he insists he likes them, blames tonight’s underwhelming showing on the song choice and mentoring, and soon finds himself in some kind of pissing match with the hosts about exactly how awesome Emblem3 really is. Are they incredibly awesome are super-turbo-magic awesome? The controversy rages on.
When we return, Mario's in the back row with some female audience members again, which is starting to make me wonder if there are any of the other kind. And Khloe's backstage asking Beatrice Miller about whether she's feeling any additional pressure after being down near the bottom of the leaderboard again last week. Beatrice gives a rehearsed answer that impresses her, like she's hard to impress.
<>Emblem3 is thanking their "youth leaders." The two brothers had a guy named Ben who was like a spiritual camp counselor in Washington state, while a dude named Sean apparently took the other one down to Haiti to build houses after the earthquake a few years ago. And thanks to the spiritual and moral guidance of these men, Emblem3 is thus the wholesome young douchebags you see before you today. Their "gratitude" song is "Secrets," which, okay. I don't really get it but neither do they. Ben and Sean appear to have appreciated it from the audience, though. L.A. says it lacked emotion, Britney tells Simon that it was a well-done change of pace (so, good job, Simon). Demi agrees with Britney more than she does with L.A., and of course Simon thinks they're awesome and wouldn't say otherwise even if he didn't. Khloe asks L.A. what more he wants from them, and L.A., although he insists he likes them, blames tonight's underwhelming showing on the song choice and mentoring, and soon finds himself in some kind of pissing match with the hosts about exactly how awesome Emblem3 really is. Are they incredibly awesome are super-turbo-magic awesome? The controversy rages on.Arin is, as we saw earlier, singing to his older brother Aris, so Britney picked "Hero" for him. Arin tells a story in his intro-reel about how his parents got divorced when he was a kid and his brother stepped up, which is cool. Less cool is when we have to endure the awkward moment backstage when Arin introduced Aris to Normani, member of Fifth Harmony and his "friend-thing." Which is still not as awkward as watching Arin explain to Aris to his face that he's going to be singing "Hero" to him, but not to take it too literally. Arin sings the Enrique Iglesias song while wearing a jacket made entirely of leather backpack straps, and it's a bit shaky, and his voice isn't strong enough to avoid getting drowned out by the backing vocals. Arin's out of his comfort zone on this, and he's not one of those performers that does well there. L.A. says it was a great song choice, but "too big," and Arin's performance was good but not gut-wrenching. Demi says he needs to step it up, and that she wouldn't sign him. Arin thanks them, which Simon chuckles that he doesn't mean. He acts as Arin's therapist a bit, and when Arin says he wants to be himself, Simon says he doesn't blame him at all for what just happened. The implied message is that Britney sucks, but since Britney lacks the subtlety to pick up that message, she says he came out and nailed it, as though she didn't hear a word any of the other judges said. Which, to be fair, she probably didn't. So the hosts come out and get Arin to expound a bit more on how he wants to be true to himself, and in response to this desperate cry for help, Britney chirps, "I totally agree." So it's good that they're on the same page.
Demi introduces CeCe, who's singing to her sister Kelsey, "Who I believe is my guardian angel." She explains that Kelsey was born with cerebral palsy, then died on Christmas Eve when she was seven and CeCe was a baby. In a meeting with Demi in which she tells the story, CeCe's eyes leak actual tears for the first time ever on this show. Holy crap, is she actually human? Even if she's merely overcome with emotion at how this story is going to kick the ass of everyone else's, in a week when the most votes go to the most tragic tale rather than the best singer, it's still a breakthrough. And then, as if to prove the theory that tears trump tone this week, her performance of "Wind Beneath My Wings" is her worst yet -- including her first one, when she barely made it to Boot Camp. In fact, she's unable to finish the last line, which sadly is the best line of her performance. L.A. compliments her emotion, because what else are you going to say without looking like a jerk (fortunately that doesn't bother me)? Britney says "it's really, really hard to critique someone after pouring their heart out like that," which means, "You're too upset right now for me to tell you how much you sucked." Simon agrees that it was heartbreaking, and he's surprised she could get through the song at all. And Demi isn't even able to look at her through her complimentary feedback. Khloe and Mario join CeCe onstage and try to make her cry a little more, pointing out her family in the audience -- they finally made it! -- and talking about her sister being with her. Mario even touches this newest tear on her face, I guess to make sure it's real. No, you fool!
But after the ads, Mario still has all his fingers, so that's a relief. Khloe sits on Simon's lap, claiming Ryan Seacrest told her it gets him excited. Oh, good, everyone's favorite thing about the Seacrest/Cowell banter is migrating over to this show, viz the gay panic jokes. Hot damn. Simon laughs and blushes too hard to do anything but introduce Fifth Harmony. Whose gratitude is all for God. Well, that's someone they can all agree on, I guess. What, were they all going to be grateful to Dinah Jane's grandfather? I don't think so. So then they sing "I'll Stand By You" by the Pretenders, a song about unconditional love for someone going through a personal struggle...to God. Do they know something we don't? For some reason Simon has a gospel choir backing them up, undermining the harmonies that are probably their greatest strength. L.A. again says that it's tough to critique under these circumstances, but his critique is that it was "great." Britney says it was beautiful and bravo. Demi says she likes watching them, even though she didn't love the song choice. Simon loved it all, of course, individually, group-ally, song choice-ally, and how they've "worked incredibly hard over the few weeks." Clearly Simon knows something we don't.
Khloe's backstage again, reporting to us, "I feel tension." She interviews Paige and Carly, who are both looking forward to singing, but clearly wondering what kind of talkative bug got up Chloe's ass tonight. On to Beatrice's intro reel, in which she explains that her song is for her younger sisters Georgia and Esther, who were adopted from Vietnam and have some health and learning issues and who, according to Beatrice, can't make it this week due to the family's financial issues. But it looks like they made it out after all, with their moms, and Beatrice's week is made. Her song? "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol, which I think Britney picked because it's pretty. She sings it on a stage decorated like an autumn explosion, dressed in her usual overdone layered-ragamuffin-Time Lord aesthetic, and battles against blowing leaves and the wind machine, but mostly pulls it off. Her sisters certainly seem proud. L.A. tells her she's cute and an inspiration, and makes Britney kvell by telling her she has such good taste. Which is something Britney Spears is clearly not accustomed to hearing. Demi, however, wants to hear Beatrice do something "different and fun" already. Simon tells her he liked this better than last week, and Britney tells her it was her best vocal performance so far. "WHY YOU CRYING?" Khloe suddenly blares into Beatrice's ear as she and Mario join her onstage. They talk about how emotional it all is and even Britney chokes up a little. I think she might be missing that snack-dog we saw her cradling during some of the mentoring sessions.
Vino's gratitude is for the U.S. military, having been born and grown up five miles from an army base in Missouri and appreciating being free and all that. He tells L.A. about how he tried to join up after 9/11 but his tattoos kept him out, so he's entertained the troops since then. Most of these clips have also featured some input from the emotional recipient of the performers' gratitude (except God, obviously), and in this case they talked to some general from the Army base, who clearly doesn't seem to get why he's there. And then Vino sings "God Bless the U.S.A." Ugh, could you pander a little harder, Vino? That gets him a standing ovation from all the judges, even the British one. Britney says this was his first performance that was spot-on. Demi admits that she's been misjudging him and that "America's really going to love it this week." Because we love being sucked up to. Simon compliments Vino's sincerity, and says he could be at number one tomorrow. L.A. also tells Vino he's the truth. Can't go wrong waving the flag, I guess. And you just know CeCe's spitting nails backstage somewhere.
Demi introduces Paige. She's giving thanks to a woman named Colleen, who took her in when she was six years old and Paige's mother died. That was also on Christmas Eve, coincidentally, so the Paige/CeCe rivalry continues. Apparently Colleen has raised as her daughter ever since, which was awesome of her. Paige already has tears on her face as she sings a melody-challenged ballad that she can barely overcome her emotions enough to complete...wait, this is "Everytime" by Britney! In honor of the occasion, L.A. tells Britney to go first, and Britney says she performed it beautifully. And then L.A. says he doesn't think it was good enough to get Paige out of tenth place. Cold! Simon agrees that Paige's emotion took over, and since everyone else has given "really, really strong performances" (well, not everyone), tomorrow could be tough for her. Demi even admits that it was pitchy in places, but that's what this week is all about so it's okay. When Khloe and Mario come out, Khloe goes on about how she can't believe Paige even got through it. Well, she kind of didn't, which is the point.
That leaves just Carly Rose Sonenclar, even though Britney messes up and starts to introduce Arin again instead. She's singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" for her older brother, Russ. We hear a story about how Carly was ten years old and traveling alone with her mom when her mother suffered a stroke. Not sure how her brother fits into that story, but when it's tear-jerking week you don't leave something like that out. Like Beatrice before her, Carly explains how her sibling couldn't be here this week, but then gets surprised by him anyway. Or "surprised," as he walked up behind her when she was just standing and staring into space, as though these kids get five seconds to do that, ever. Carly sings the song all torchy-like, beginning a cappella and quickly building up to the swelling strings and everything. These two might just be the closest brother and sister since that coffee commercial. Great singing, though, no argument there. She even gets tonight's second four-way standing ovation from the judges. L.A. says she's a force of nature, and that she pulled out two big notes when she only needed one. Demi asks to see a school ID and accuses her of being an alien, because nobody who's thirteen can sing like that. Simon says she's the best alien he's ever heard, and that this was one of the best versions of the song he's ever heard, and announces that he's changed his mind about who's likely to be number one this week. And Carly's mentor, Britney? Agrees with everyone. Possibly the most impressive thing about Carly is that she's doing this all by herself.
After the mini-clips of tonight's performances with the voting numbers on the screen, Mario reminds us they're all 855 numbers, so "Watch where you put your fingers." Yes, we're looking at you, Simon.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.