We learn that on RAW, Rikishi beat up The Rock. Then, Rikishi said that The Rock told him to run over Stone Cold, and even gave him the car keys so that he could do it. How will The Rock respond? How will Stone Cold respond? And most importantly, will Rikishi ever stop bleeding from the forehead?
After the opening fireworks, Michael Cole wonders if The Rock will be able to concentrate on his title match against Kurt Angle tonight, given Rikishi's allegations. The Rock's music hits and he walks down to the ring. Clearly, the fans didn't get the memo that The Rock is supposed to be a heel now, because they are cheering like crazy. Cole and Lawler talk about how they can't believe what Rikishi said as The Rock struts around the ring. The Rock gets on the mic and says that he and Stone Cold have never been friends, but he hopes Stone Cold can see through what Rikishi said. The Rock hasn't been able to get in touch with Austin to discuss the matter, so he calls Austin down to the ring. When there is no response, The Rock orders Austin down to the ring. Austin's music hits and he comes down. My boyfriend J-Dawg decides that he wants to get braces for his knees (like the ones Austin wears) because it would make him look like a cyborg. He's weird. First of all, it doesn't, and second of all, why would you want to look like a cyborg anyway? Stone Cold and The Rock stare at each other for a long time. Then they start making out. Just kidding. Ooh, Austin is inching closer. He's such a tease. Rocky says he had nothing to do with Austin's accident, and he doesn't know why Rikishi claimed differently. Austin says he didn't come out because he was ordered to, but because he wanted to. Austin says that he has no way of knowing if The Rock is telling the truth or if Rikishi is, and the only person Stone Cold trusts is himself.
Rikishi's music hits, and no one reacts because no one recognizes his music yet. Rikishi comes out to the top of the ramp and says that The Rock called him last November and asked him to run over Stone Cold, and claimed they would have each other's back, and now The Rock is going back on his word. Rikishi thinks The Rock betrayed him because Rikishi was becoming so popular. The Rock says that Rikishi's "story stinks more than [his] fat ass." The Rock tells Stone Cold that he's always done everything face-to-face, and gives examples. Stone Cold looks like he's about to crack up. Rocky says he's going to become the WWF Champion tonight. Cue Kurt Angle's music, of course. Angle comes out and disparages Rochester, NY. Hey, that's my hometown! Lawler comments that even Kodak left Rochester, which is completely not true. They still have many...okay, a few...okay, like two plants left there. Anyway, Angle says that he wants to call off the match because he's afraid The Rock will attack him like he attacked Stone Cold. Rocky calls Rikishi and Angle down to the ring. Rikishi says they won't come down to the ring because "by looking in [his] eyes" he can see that they shouldn't trust The Rock. Except The Rock is wearing sunglasses, so that was a poor choice of phrases. Rikishi and Angle leave, and Austin puts the Stunner on the Rock, just for good measure.
Yuck. Debra. Enough said. Not to be catty, but a woman of her, um, stature should not wear such short skirts. Debra establishes residence in Mick Foley's office, since she is now the Lieutenant Commissioner. We also are reminded that Stone Cold gave Rock the Stunner moments ago.
Crash Not-Holly-Anymore comes down to the ring with a garbage can. We are reminded that Crash lost Hardcore matches to Albert last Thursday, and to Test on Monday. Test and Albert come down to the ring as we learn that this is a Hardcore Handicap Match. Crash starts the match by brandishing a big stick, and Test and Albert just laugh at him and grab the stick away. Steve Blackman watches from backstage. Test and Albert start to fight Crash on their knees, to make it a fair fight, and Crash bashes them both in the head with a garbage can lid. Go, little Crash! Test and Albert chase Crash backstage. Blackman comes in and beats up Test and Albert with a stick. Blackman pulls Crash on top of Test, and Crash gets the win. Conveniently, this whole thing took place in front of a huge XFL sign.
Lita is kissing up to Debra, who is in charge tonight. Ivory approaches and suggests that she get a title shot tonight. Trish comes in and blah blah blahs. Jacqueline comes in and demands a title shot as well. Debra proclaims a Four Corners match for the Women's Title, with the stipulation that no one can interfere. All the ladies agree. Can I just say that Ivory looks hotter all covered up than any of the rest of them do half-naked? I can't even get into this issue, because you know it pisses me off.
The Lugz Boot of the Week is Eddie Guerrero hitting Billy Gunn with the Intercontinental Belt, causing him to lose his match to Steven Richards. Again, not a boot. Richards is in the ring now, lecturing the audience about lewd and disgusting behavior. Blah blah blah censorship-cakes. The Undertaker comes out on his bike. The stairs, as usual, mysteriously disappear so that he can ride around the ring. The Undertaker gets in the ring, and he looks a lot better when he's not wearing that huge coat. He is a massive, massive man. Richards asks the Undertaker to join Right To Censor. Undertaker grabs Richards by the tie and, predictably, declines the invitation. Then, he sends Steven Richards on the Last Ride, with much more success than he had with Regal on Monday. That success extends to his ride up the ramp, where he nearly hits the other RTC members, and doesn't stall out midway, as he did on Monday.
Adam Sandler was backstage earlier today, promoting Little Nicky. Sandler meets up with various wrestlers, and it turns out that the one person he wanted to meet above all others was Earl Hebner. Sandler invites Hebner out for a beer, as long as Hebner pays. Like, ha ha. Not. At least when Arnold Schwarzenegger was on, he came down to the ring.
Trish is walking towards the ring. So is Ivory. So is Jacqueline. So is Lita. Wow, Lita has that catwalk strut down pat. Look at her go!
Edge and Christian go suck up to Debra to try to get a Tag Team Title shot. Foley still won't give Edge and Christian a shot, but maybe Debra will. Edge points out that Debra, like He-Man, "has the power!" Hee! Edge and Christian are funny. Debra says she's not an idiot, and they can't sweet-talk her, so their title shot is denied. Debra scares me.
Al Snow comes out and gives Lawler a deli tray to try to convince him to be his tag team partner. Lawler manages to pimp the new WWF cookbook and Sunday Night Heat in one breath. He is a true professional.
The four women involved in the title match make their way to the ring. The match starts, and there are actually women wrestling! I never thought I would see the day! Trish pulls off her two moves (bulldog and suplex). Ivory manipulates her way into a tag, and starts taking on Lita. Later on, Lita executes an amazing hurricanerana on both Jacqueline and Trish. Lita pulls off her shirt and does a moonsault on Ivory. The ref is distracted by Trish and Jacqueline fighting in the corner, and Edge and Christian sneak in and help Ivory pin Lita. Ivory is the new Women's Champion.
In an interview, Rikishi says that he told "the troof," and that everyone knows it. Rikishi remembers to throw in a threat against his opponent that night, Chris Jericho.
Stone Cold is backstage, talking to someone on his cell phone.
Rikishi comes out to the ring, as we see footage of the beating he issued to The Rock on RAW. Jericho comes out and runs into the ring. After they battle for a bit, Rikishi gets the Sleeper Hold on Jericho, but Jericho battles back. Jericho drop-kicks Rikishi out of the ring, but just then Kane's music hits. Jericho grabs a chair to prepare for Kane's entry. Jericho slams Kane in the head with the chair, but it has no effect on Kane. Kane choke-slams Jericho and then makes fire come out of the ring posts. Ouch. Jericho bounces off the mat. The announcers wonder if this is still all over the time that Jericho spilled coffee on Kane. Dude, just send him your dry-cleaning bill. Kane leaves. Rikishi drags Jericho over to the corner, and does his Bonsai Drop. At the end of the match, Rikishi throws his fists up into the air and appears to be talking to himself. What was that about?
Chyna and Billy "Not Mr. Ass No More" Gunn are walking toward the ring.
After commercial, we are reminded what Kane did to Jericho. Kevin Kelley asks Kane if this is all about coffee, and Kane says, "You think this is about coffee?" Well, yeah. What else are we supposed to think?
Val "Baskin Robbins" Venis comes out to the ring, and is soon joined by his tag-team partner, Eddie Guerrero. Gunn's "I'm An Ass Man" music hits, and Venis tells whoever to cut the music. Venis reminds Gunn that he has lost the right to use the name Mr. Ass. Gunn (whose new short hair is very cute) just shrugs and introduces Chyna. The announcers discuss what to call the former Mr. Ass, and decide on Billy G. Whatever you want to call him, he and Chyna work very well together as a team, doing many moves in tandem. Before long, Venis and Eddie double-team Chyna. Billy G (that name is cracking me up) gets in the ring and starts kicking, well, ass. Chyna gets back in and gets a neck-breaker on Eddie, and the pin. Chyna trash-talks Eddie after the match.
Austin is still talking on his cell phone backstage. Suddenly, a giant crate drops out of the ceiling right where Austin was seconds before. Yikes! Austin looks up into the ceiling and then takes off to kick someone's ass. I don't know who, but someone is getting his or her ass kicked.
Back from commercial, Brisco, Patterson, Sgt. Slaughter, and other WWF officials are examining the scene of the near crime. Jonathan Coachman goes to The Rock's dressing room and enters to find it empty. The announcers comment that it doesn't look good for The Rock.
Al Snow comes down to the ring, but first we have to watch a promo for Little Nicky. Yawn. Snow presents the King with a bejeweled toilet seat that says "King" on it. Tazz and Raven come down to the ring. Tazz is apparently the one wrestling, and Raven is just there for moral support. Raven gets up to interfere in the match, but Lawler gets up and stops him. After some more mix-ups, Snow pins Tazz for the win. After the match, Raven and Tazz beat on Snow. Lawler goes in and hits Raven and Tazz with the toilet seat Snow gave him earlier. At one point, Raven has the toilet seat around his head.
Lillian interviews Triple H. She shows him the footage of Triple H giving Angle a Pedigree on top of a table. Triple H says that his goal was to destroy Angle while Stephanie was home with the flu. Lillian asks how the attack has affected his relationship with wife. Triple H says their relationship is nobody's business, and he's finishing some unfinished business. Monday night, it was with Kurt, and tonight, it's with Benoit. Hmm, that sounded an awful lot like heel talk. What are they doing with Triple H, anyway?
Benoit comes down to the ring. My cat snores loudly. I envy her. Triple H comes down to the ring as well. The announcers discuss how Benoit now has the support of his longtime friends, Dean Malenko, and Perry Saturn. Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but Benoit counters, causing the referee to get knocked down. Triple H sets up the Pedigree again, but Dean Malenko runs into the ring. Triple H dispenses with Malenko, only to have to take on Perry Saturn. Triple H tosses Saturn out of the ring as well. Triple H finally gets the Pedigree on Benoit, but the ref is still knocked out. Eddie Guerrero runs into the ring and smacks Triple H with his Intercontinental Belt, then Saturn pulls the ref into counting position. Benoit gets the pin. The Radicalz reunite in the ring. Triple H runs into the ring with a chair, and the Radicalz hightail it out of there.
After commercial, we see Stone Cold giving The Rock the Stunner earlier tonight. Then we see Stone Cold almost get smushed by the case. Kevin Kelley finally catches up to The Rock and asks where he was earlier. The Rock tells him it's none of his business, and that The Rock is about to win the title from Kurt Angle. Then we see Kurt Angle walking up and down the stairs talking to himself.
The Rock's music hits, and he seems to be getting as many cheers as always. The announcers point out that The Rock never answered the questions about his involvement in the near-accident Stone Cold had earlier tonight. Kurt Angle comes down to the ring, minus Stephanie, who is still out with "the flu." After they fight for a while, Angle gets a belly-to-belly suplex on The Rock. While Rocky is out, Angle walks over and picks up his belt and starts walking away from the ring. Earl Hebner starts counting him out, but Angle continues to walk away. The Rock tells Hebner to stop the count, and takes off up the ramp after Angle, hitting Angle from behind. The Rock drags Angle back to the ring. After more wrestling, The Rock throws Angle out of the ring. Angle asks the ref to stop the count because he injured his ankle on the landing. The Rock is having none of it, and throws Angle back in the ring, and soon locks in the SharpShooter. Before Angle can tap out, Rikishi makes his way down to the ring, and The Rock prevents him from entering the ring. When The Rock turns his attention back to Angle, Rikishi comes in and ends up getting The Rock disqualified. Rikishi and Angle beat on The Rock. Stone Cold runs in, knocks Rikishi out of the ring, and gets the Stunner on Angle before knocking Rikishi out as well. The Rock gets the Rock Bottom on Stone Cold. Was it payback for the Stunner earlier, or is The Rock the one who has been trying to do in Austin? Tune in week to find out.