Jefferson Lives

Shout-out to maki.

Slow-mo flashbacks of a little girl riding a horse. Now it's grown-up Zoey. Little girl. Grown-up. Little girl. Jed calling Zoey. Horse falters. Child starts to fall. Bartlet wakes up from his nightmare.

Cut to Abby dozing on a couch, and a wide-eyed Zoey lying with her head on her mother's lap. Isn't that the side where her clavicle's broken or whatever? Bartlet walks up behind the couch. Zoey rouses herself from a glassy stare, turns to her father, and smiles: "Dad." Bartlet's expression is equal parts relief and concern.

As Leo arrives for work, Josh is impressing his boss by telling him a story about blowing about some toilets at a ballpark when he was younger. Leo: "Mm-hmm." Josh: "Cute girls were there...in shorts." Margaret sticks her head in to ask if Berryhill's supposed to be there. We know she doesn't like it when Leo makes his own appointments, but she doesn't say anything; she just has a mildly disapproving look. Leo says he made the appointment last night: "I put it on your...where you said." Is it just me, or have they been styling Margaret to be dowdier than usual this season? Leo calls Berryhill in; Berryhill asks if they read Berardi's resignation letter in the Post. Leo calls it "eloquent." Berryhill says it was a little old-fashioned. Josh: "'A little'? Aaron Burr's call to the interview at Weehawken was less stilted." Berryhill: "Berardi blunted his protest by making it a laundry list -- the bombings, the assassination...I thought he was going to go after our neckties." Leo asks about the Syrians. Berryhill says they're better, but probably afraid they're . He adds that there are regards to the First Family from Saudi Arabia and Cairo. Leo says that Berryhill's UN address went a long way. Josh tells Berryhill he's polling in the high sixties. Berryhill seems amused that they're polling on him: "You guys must be desperate for good news." Josh and Leo tell them that their first priority is to name a VPOTUS. Berryhill agrees. Leo: "So if your President asks, you'll serve?" Credits.

Bartlet's in the First Kitchen making some coffee or espresso or one of those complicated caffeine drinks that requires a $950 machine, but it sounds more like he's flushing an industrial toilet. Zoey commends him on having joined the twenty-first century. Jed: "Can we keep this between us?" Zoey: "In the office..." Jed: "I still take a plain, all-American cuppa joe." She asks if he's doing okay. He claims to be. Abby wanders in. Zoey: "I just wondered, because it is the fourth of July, and we've been up for twenty minutes..." Jed: "I'm saving the Founding Fathers 'til lunch." Hold up one damn second. It's the fourth of July? Zoey was abducted the night of her commencement, which was "5/7" as we were told in "Commencement." Even if you tried to spin that as "July 5" instead of May 7, it doesn't work. It was clearly early May when Zoey was abducted...and when Andi had her twins. This episode clearly takes place within a few days of Zoey's return, which is supported by the fact that they are still searching for a VPOTUS, and the fact that Huck Wyatt-Ziegler has his bris, traditionally observed on a baby boy's eighth day, during this episode. Yeah, I know they need to get the show back on track so that things like Christmas, winter, and elections will fall at the right times. But the time to catch up is after they've picked a VPOTUS and Zoey's recovered. It shouldn't be the Fourth of July now, and viewers shouldn't be expected not to notice the seven-week gaffe, and the only reason I can think of for it is so that they have an excuse for the anvilly fireworks at the end. Anyway, Zoey asks if lunch is still on, and he says it is, only if she's up to it. She knows. Abby says a groggy "Morning." Jed says the same back. There's no warmth there. Zoey asks if Abby smelled the coffee. Abby gripes, "I could hear it. Could that thing be any louder?" Then Ross gets married again...no, wait. Wrong show. Zoey leaves, saying she'll be right back to make Abby's drink. As she goes, Abby tells her to keep the ice on her arm, which is in a sling. Jed notes that Abby's not in a talkative mood, so he doesn't even try to initiate conversation. He just leaves. Maybe she's just upset that a small marsupial died where her hair used to be.

Josh, C.J., and Will are walking through the halls kvelling about the suitability of Berryhill for VPOTUS. Toby arrives and walks into his office saying that they need a war room. He wants someone from Counsel's office, someone from Legislative Affairs, etc., etc. Josh reminds them that Berryhill's already been through this as Secretary of State. Toby says he was confirmed by the Senate, not the House, and that they only have twenty-four hours to pull it together. They all yatter like a well-oiled machine about pushing Berryhill through. Toby: "Even a whiff of a whiff of a whiff of a rumour, we're ready to bat it down." C.J.: "Smart offense." Will: "Error-free ball." Josh: "Knock yourselves out, but he's a slam-dunk." Toby: "Okay, that's one too many sports metaphors." Whoa! Yooge shout-out to me. And way more than "one too many," by the way. Toby tells them he wants everything from Berryhill's public statements to his Post-It Notes. C.J. takes off to do a briefing. Will wonders if they can start booking Berryhill; Toby wants no interviews until they're sure he's going to be confirmed. Toby assures C.J. that this will go quickly enough for Berryhill to do the Sunday shows. They pedeconference as Toby says he doesn't want a "Help Wanted" sign hanging on the country for another news cycle. C.J. mentions that Zoey's public appearance today (which she calls a "pool spray") will occupy the media for a while. Toby asks when the Republicans come over; Josh says they're there before lunch. They go on congratulating themselves on getting Berryhill confirmed in the overconfident way that tells you there's no way the guy's getting the job. As C.J. and Toby have to go off somewhere, Josh asks, "You like him, right?" Toby: "Berryhill? I'm over the moon. This is my over-the-moon face." Hee! It's the incredibly serious and unimpressed expression you'd expect. Someone alert the FBI that there's been a sighting of Toby Ziegler's character, who's been missing in action for some time.

Toby follows C.J. to her office as she describes the official response to Berardi's resignation: POTUS appreciates his long service, respects his right to differ, he'll be missed, yada yada. Apropos of I'm not sure exactly what, she tells Toby that he looks spiffy. Toby: "You could look spiffy, too, if you ever went home." She says that she's showered. They pedeconference again, as C.J. says she wanted to ask something about the assassination. Toby: "Avoid that word, for starters." C.J. says that Berardi's letter keeps it on the front page: "The questions I keep getting asked are, 'Why not a trial or tribunal? Why covert ops? Why didn't we simply detain him?'" Toby tells her to stick to the script. C.J. says she tried to get more from the Pentagon, but they're keeping it classified. I'll bet. Toby tells her to send the questions to the Pentagon.

Toby leaves as Amy comes waltzing up with a question from FLOTUS about the pool spray. They confirm that it's just photos of Zoey walking with her dad. You know, it seemed to me that, in the last episode, they were taking some pains to hide Mary-Louise Parker's pregnancy, but in this episode -- not so much. I keep wondering if they'll write it into the script. I would have to think not, because didn't we already see a pretty similar version of that storyline with Andi last year? I mean, sure, Amy's not as powerful or high-profile as Andi, but how different would this be? Unless there's going to be some big soapy drama over whether Josh is the father or Tandy's the father or she just got tired of waiting and set up a hot date with a turkey baster. Amy asks about the photo op with the family tonight at the fireworks; C.J. says it's the White House photographer only. If Zoey's not into it, they'll cancel.

C.J. starts her briefing as Donna comes over to her cubicle to give Swimtern some instructions. What is with Jesse Bradford's Orville Redenbacher hair in this show? He was so cute as Cliff in Bring It On, and now...well, clearly Abby's hairstylist is two-timing her. It's too long and looks doofy parted in the middle. Reminds me of what's wrong with Rob Lowe's hair when it's at its worst. Ryan's dressed in a preppy sport coat outfit. As Donna's telling him to take a bunch of boxes to the OEOB, he's yammering on the phone to his pal Jay Gatsby about why he has to work on the holiday and can't possibly spend the afternoon on a catamaran. He hands the phone to Donna, asking, "Can you explain to this loser why I can't go sailing?" She takes the phone and says, "Dude, Ryan's not on board 'cause he's taking some boxes over to the OEOB for me." She hangs up and hands him his phone. She tells him to get on it. Yeah, dude. The only fool she suffers gladly is Josh. Speak of the devil: he comes cruising through, and Donna leaves Ryan to ponder how to achieve the transport of the boxes without actually engaging in manual labour, or preferably any kind of labour whatsoever. Does there always have to be some overprivileged young git with more money than brains on this show? Now that Tartuffe's fifteen minutes are up, did they think we'd like this character better if he were American? Because Frenchy's Frenchness wasn't his problem. Anyway, Donna tells Josh that Haffley called again with some questions about the agenda. Josh asks if she told him it was about the selection of VPOTUS. Donna thinks he wants to hear some names. Josh: "Well, he better [sic] be at the meeting."

As Josh walks out of his office, Amy's coming through, and asks, "Hey, Spanky, when was the last time you got a look at the CDC budget breakdown?" Josh admits that everything before last Saturday is kind of fuzzy. Amy complains about a budget cut to the Division of Violence Prevention. Josh asks if FLOTUS is pissed. Amy says that Abby's attention is elsewhere. Josh thinks it's probably just as well. Amy disagrees. Josh thinks Abby'd just get worked out without being able to do a lot about it. Amy thinks she could do plenty. Josh: "Then it's a damn shame." Amy: "There's a future for you in motivational speaking." Josh tells Amy to take it to Abby, but Amy says Abby's not in the office for a while. As she reaches a door, Josh tells her to let it go and that she's going to have to "breathe through it for a while." Amy: "Not my forte -- waiting." Josh: "You have other fortes." Amy: "What's that supposed to mean?" Urgh. Josh: "Nothing. I didn't mean that." Amy: "You absolutely meant that." I bark at her: "Move your bloody mouth!" Frink tells me to take it easy. Josh: "Okay, maybe I did." Amy warns him, "Careful what you start," and saunters off. Wise, wise advice that Josh seems determined to ignore. And there it is, the blossoming of Josh and Amy II: Non-Electric Blecch-Eww (tm maki).

On a monitor broadcasting C.J.'s briefing, Katie is asking whether the most practical reason for not assassinating foreign leaders is the fear of retaliation against government officials and their families. C.J. says that Shareef wasn't targeted as a foreign leader, but as a terrorist who was going to blow up the Golden Gate Bridge. She says that Zoey will be coming down soon, and the reporters will want to get into position, and she reminds them that Zoey's been through a horrible ordeal and she's not taking questions: "So if you could show some basic, human -- you know, I almost said 'decency,' but I'm back."

The camera drifts over to the Oval Office, where Bartlet's asking, "What's ?" He's meeting with Leo and some military bigwigs about national security issues. Some guy loaded with hardware says, "Norfolk is remaining at THREATCON 5." That must be difficult, since there's no such thing. Ach, why do I bother? He continues, "The training manuals confiscated in Portland included blueprints for a Radiological Dispersion Device, and the guys we detained in Tanzania yesterday were packing botulinum toxin and cyanide." Jed: "But we can go ahead and light some sparklers in our own back yard..." Ron Butterfield (who, I must remind you, is the magic) says that there will be an extra two thousand officers out. Airspace is being monitored by the Air Force, and a no-boating zone on the Potomac is being enforced. Aw, there go Gatsby's sailing plans. Not that I know if people can or do sail on the Potomac. It's a river, so, probably not. I dunno. Nor do I care. Please don't email me everything you know about the Potomac River. Bartlet: "An invitation to party if I ever heard one." Leo says that very few local events have been affected. They go over some things that were cancelled, one of which is that an "overflow group" of immigrants taking their citizenship oaths lost their venue because the VFW hall they were going to use had a bomb scare. Bartlet thanks them all.

As everyone leaves, Jed asks Leo when he meets with Berryhill. It's at 2:00 PM. Jed says he doesn't want to rush his lunch with Zoey. Leo asks how she's doing. Jed says she's doing well, considering. Charlie sticks his head in to say "they" (Abby and Zoey, I guess) are on their way down. Jed asks Leo what the deal is with the bomb scare. Leo explains that Immigration has been encouraging more neighbourhood swearing-in ceremonies: "Most of this group being sworn in are from Arab countries." A glimpse of a coat flip, there. Jed: "We're talking folks who have been interviewed and background-checked by two agencies, taken classes to learn our language, passed exams on our history and government, and been fingerprinted twice?" Why, yes, yes we are. "These are the kinds of Arabs we're talking about?" You hadda go and ruin it. "The kinds of Arabs"? What, are there just the two kinds -- the ones who are "happy" to clean American buildings and drive American taxis and the ones who want to blow them up? Jed tells Leo to find them an auditorium where they can safely take their oath.