Previously on The West Wing: Josh is crushing on Joey, who turns out to be sleeping with the noxious Al Kiefer; C.J. investigates rumours about a strategy memo that's circulating, which turns out to have been written by Mandy; Leo announces that he is a recovering drug and alcohol addict; President Bartlet wants to name a couple of people to the FEC to fill some recently opened seats; a senator's aide (?) threatens to repay the Bartlet administration tenfold if they proceed with their FEC choices.
It's the Sheraton Centre Hotel, Washington, D.C., where, according to the titles, the Americans apparently spell "Centre" the British/Canadian way. I'm surprised. (Strega: Is that actually right?) ["I couldn't find any such place, but it's possible, since it's such a cosmopolitan town. Or maybe 'affected' would be a better word?" -- Strega] Jed's wearing a tux and making a speech to a large and supportive crowd. Staffers are lurking around by the monitors, watching. He's sarcastically asserting that they better have mandatory sentences, because judges can't be trusted to dispense justice, and we better have term limits, because voters can't be trusted to recognize corruption, etc. Jed adds, "When the playing field is leveled and the process is fair and open, it turns out we have term limits: they're called elections." The crowd applauds and cheers. C.J., wearing a soft gold dress & jacket in a nice change from the grey and white she's usually sporting, is hanging out with the press corps and bantering with the reporters, while studiously ignoring Danny. She announces, "In a moment the President's going to say something that's sure to get you all shouting my name at once. There'll be a full briefing tonight at the White House." As she's circulating around the room, Danny sidles up and tries to speak with her but she breezily cuts him off by saying, "You don't want to miss this." As she strides out of the room, a reporter asks her what's going on. She replies, "The President's throwing his cap over the wall." He wants to know what that means; as she leaves the room she calls over her shoulder that he's about to find out.
At the podium, Jed's relating one of his many little homilies; this one is courtesy of his father. Long homily short: two Irish lads run into a high, apparently unscalable brick wall in their journey; thus they throw their hats over the wall so that they have no choice but to follow. (Seems to me if you could throw hats, most of which don't have the aerodynamics of Frisbees, over the wall, you could probably climb over too, but what do I know? I'm not even Irish.)
As we fade from Jed live to Jed on a monitor, we're in a room where an unnamed Republican senator is rambling on about the brandy he's sharing with his staff. Steve, his flunky, is watching the television intently and tries to get the senator's attention. The senator invites Steve to sit down with them, and, referring to Jed, claims, "The man's not going to say anything we're interested in." Steve begs to differ and gestures to the television. Steve says the President is going to name two finance reformers to the FEC. The senator says, "What the hell are you talking about? You said it wasn't going to happen." Steve admits he was wrong, and that Bartlet's going to name John Bacon and Patty Calhoun. The senator asks, "You told him they take on campaign finance reform and I roll out a legislative agenda that will make his boss sit down and cry?" Steve says he made it very clear. Just then, Jed makes the announcement of Bacon and Calhoun's appointments. The senator barks to one of the women in the room, "Get him on the phone!" She asks, "Who?" "Josh Lyman! Get him on the phone." Then, in an especially Moe-threatening-Bart moment, the Senator growls, "I'm going to reach down his throat and take out his lungs with an ice-cream scoop!"
Back at the Sheraton Centre, Sam says to Josh, "You're about to get a call." Josh knows. Sam continues, "Big call. Powerful guy. I'm just saying you're probably rocked back from your meeting last week." Josh agrees, "A little." Sam: "They threatened you with a legislative agenda. They made you feel powerless, and you're a little off your game. A little gun shy." Toby, who wandered up a little while ago, says, "Leave him alone." Sam: "I'm bucking him up." Toby: "Leave him alone." Sam: "You asked me to buck him up!" Toby replies, "Now I'm telling you to leave him alone." Josh says he's trying to watch Jed's speech, just as Donna rushes up with Josh's cell phone and confirms it's "the call." Josh takes the phone and says, "Hi, Senator. Why don't you take your legislative agenda and shove it up your ass?" He hangs up. As the crowd conveniently applauds Jed in the background, Josh turns around and says to Donna, Toby and Sam, "Turns out I was fine." As the credits roll, I was thinking it would have been kind of funny if Josh had misunderstood Donna about who was calling and said that to Admiral Fitzwallace or some such person. Or maybe not. Anyway, the credits are rolling so here's the part where I get to fast-forward.
“ One reporter asks whether the President is 'declaring war on Congress.' Josh mutters to himself, 'Say it's a police action.' ”
Back at the White House, C.J. is fielding questions from reporters. One asks, "Is the White House concerned that the FEC will become a partisan political football?" C.J. replies, "I'd like to emphasize again that the President has nominated one Democrat and one Republican, which he was certainly under no legal obligation to do." She further informs another reporter that in the past the FEC commissioners have been chosen by the President signing off on whomever the Congressional leadership pointed to, and admits that it's possible the White House forgot to tell the Congressional leadership that they would be slipping this announcement into tonight's speech.
The shot changes to Josh watching C.J. on the television in his office, as one reporter asks whether the President is "declaring war on Congress." Josh mutters to himself, "Say it's a police action." C.J. responds that the President is not empowered to declare war, but he is in fact obligated to nominate federal agency directors, concluding, "I call it more of a police action." Josh chuckles to himself, saying, "How about that?" Donna comes in and announces that Toby wants Josh in his office; Josh wants to know what Toby wants, and Donna says it's about polling. Josh asks if Toby's bringing in Al Kiefer; Donna tells him to ask Toby. Josh wants to know why Donna can't tell him; she says it's because he's going there now and she's busy. He says, "Fine," and leaves in a bit of a huff. Donna chases after him and says that Toby's bringing in Kiefer. Josh wants to know if that's what Donna was afraid to tell him; she claims she wasn't afraid. Then she tells him that Kiefer wants to bring in a California expert, and Josh realizes she's talking about Joey Lucas. Josh acts cool and says it's no big deal, but of course it is. Josh and Donna blather for a bit about how he's a pro, and it's no big deal. As Josh enters the secretarial area outside Toby and Sam's offices, one of the secretaries (I think it's Ginger, but I can only hear her and not see her) says, "Rambo!" Josh responds, "You talkin' to me?" She continues, "Nice phone call!" Josh puts his hands up in the air in one of those sports-victory-like gestures of which I have no intuitive understanding, and announces to the room at large, "That's how we do things in New England, my friends!" One of the other secretaries (Bonnie, I think; I have a lot of trouble keeping the minor secretaries straight) says, "In Indiana, we're not allowed to talk like that." Ginger says, "In New Jersey, we encourage it." Josh goes into Sam's office, where Toby is standing over Sam as Sam types on his laptop. Toby asks Josh to hang on, while he comments on Sam's writing. "Good...that's good...okay...Sam?" Sam says, "Yeah?" Toby inquires, "You're going to come to a verb soon, right, Sam?" Sam, a little testily, says, "You know what this is called?" Toby: "Bad writing?" Sam: "Imagery." Toby replies, "Well, you say potato." Suddenly I'm extra-glad Toby doesn't stand over me while I write these recaps. ["Guess I don't need to mention my reaction to that idea." -- Strega] Toby tells Josh it's a big polling week and he's bringing in Kiefer. Josh points out that Toby's done a complete turnaround on Kiefer, but Toby disagrees, saying he still doesn't want Kiefer advising the President, he just wants Kiefer to bring them numbers. Josh argues that "advising people is what pollsters do." Toby says, "He'll do what I tell him to do." Josh lets it go, and mentions the issue of English as the national language. They know it's the first thing the opposition will fire at them as payback for the FEC nominations. Toby states that they "need Hispanics," and asks Josh if he knows what state has a large Hispanic population. Josh: "I wanna say Maine, but uh..." Sam smirks at Josh as Toby says, "California." Josh replies, "Damn, I was only off by a continent." Toby says Josh's name a little bit reproachfully and Josh insists, "It's fine! Bring her out here." Toby's a little skeptical but Josh maintains, "This isn't a 'thing.'" He says he only met her twice. Sam, who's looking extra-nerdy because he's got his tux jacket off and is wearing just a white shirt and a black bow tie, with his glasses on, points out, "Yeah, but one of those times she broke your heart! You know, the way women can do. The way they take your heart, and they throw it on the floor, and then they stomp on it in their big high heels." Issues, much, Sam? He continues, "She's a very beautiful and interesting woman, Josh. I can see how a lot of guys would go for her." He pauses, and then says, "You know, there's nothing at all I'm saying now of any value so I think the thing to do is, I should just keep writing." As Josh leaves, he says, "We had a good night." Toby agrees, and Josh adds, "C.J.'s doing good in there." We get a shot from above Toby's right shoulder, as he looks down at Sam's writing and says, "Any time you want to use punctuation, that'd be fine."
In the press briefing room, Leo meets with the representatives he requested. C.J.'s at the back of the room, and Toby and Andy slip in just as Leo's getting started. Before Leo can say much, Stuart, one of the seven people, wants to know why they're in the press room. Leo says he'll be fast, and faster still if he's not interrupted. Leo begins: "There's a chance that a debate is about to begin over the best way to fight the drug problem in this country. The White House being among those who believe more money should be put into treatment; the people you work for being among those who believe we should put more money into prisons. Is everyone with me so far?" Someone named Dick asks, "Why the seven of us?" Leo goes on to explain that every one of them works for a politician who has family members who committed drug-related crimes, but due to their connections, received either exceedingly light punishments or no real punishments at all. He cites several examples, with Toby's help. Leo states, "The President wants a lively debate. He wants to hear opposition. But he's not going to stomach hypocrisy. We start hearing 'soft on crime, soft on drugs' from the people you work for, we've got seven stories ready for page one." C.J., Carol, and another staffer start to let the press corps into the room, as Stuart accuses him, "You're sabre-rattling." Leo responds, "Here comes the White House press corps. Let's find out." Stuart stands up and says, "We're done here." Leo tells him, "We play the full nine innings at this level, Stuart. Tell your friends about it." As Toby and Andy leave the room, Andy says to Toby, "Can I tell you something? Watching you guys do that...it was a little fun." Toby: "It was not fun." Andy: "You should have had some pie." Toby says he needs to get back to work, and adds, "And you being a Congresswoman, I'm sure you need to be back out there, you know, screwing the people." She pauses and then says she should tell him something, in the interest of full disclosure. She says that she was out on a date the other night, and they had had a couple of glasses of wine. The guy she was with just bumped a car in front of him, and the cop who came to the scene was going to administer a blood-alcohol test, but then recognized Andy and didn't do it. Toby thinks that's fine, and verifies that she didn't try to use her position to influence the cop. Then he asks who she was out with; turns out it was some guy named Victor Stipe, whose name Toby recognizes as belonging to the executive advisor for the Orioles. Toby seems irritated by this, and Andrea asks, "Toby, are you upset that I went out on a date, or are you upset that I went out on a date with someone who plays in the same division as the Yankees?" Toby's response: "Honest to God, I'm not sure." He strides into his office; she's on his tail saying, "Mandatory minimums, Toby." He wants to know what she's doing getting into cars with guys who've been drinking. They talk over each other for a bit, ending with Toby suggesting something to the effect that he could pick her up. Andy asks, "You'd come pick me up with a date?" Toby: "If he wasn't an Oriole, absolutely. Or a Red Sock. In fact, just date the National League, would ya?" Andy says, "Toby, I'm not kidding. Mandatory minimums." He says, "Go away." She picks a piece of lint off his jacket with tender familiarity and says, "It was good seeing you." As she starts to go, Toby asks her to give him the pie. She just kind of sighs and chuckles and hands over the pie. Toby watches after her as she leaves with a very wistful look. Not too much unfinished business here.