Let Bartlet Be Bartlet

Previously on The West Wing, Mandy was hired, Toby was frustrated, the Prez was accused of moderation, and Sam felt lost.

According to the title card, it's Monday morning at the communications office, and Toby is wondering if it's going to rain. Sam says that it won't rain till later. Toby is concerned because the opening line of a speech will need to be changed if it starts raining. Sam says he got a weather reports from the Coast Guard. Toby explains that the Prez's remarks open with, "As I look out over this magnificent vista..." which will be inappropriate if it starts raining and the event is moved indoors. Toby also mentions that the remarks are intended for the United Organization of Trout Fishermen. Sam suggests that the Prez could probably fix that on the fly if necessary, and repeats that his weather report comes direct from the Coast Guard and the National Weather Service. He adds, "They use satellites. They use technology." The Almighty's opinion of satellites is expressed through a flash of lightening, as a thunderstorm immediately begins. Toby asks, "This is the same satellite technology we use to detect intercontinental ballistic missiles, right?" C.J. pops in to suggest that the event be moved indoors, but Toby tells her, "Sam says it's probably not gonna rain till later." C.J. wisely decides not to get involved in that conversation, and as they all begin a pedeconference, she asks if they've heard anything about "a piece of paper that's going around," which a reporter mentioned to her. They haven't. Leo joins the parade and tells them where the event will be taking place. C.J. asks what kind of mood the Prez is in, and Leo describes the Prez as "very upbeat, very energetic."

Cut to the Prez and his gaggle of aides and bodyguards. The Prez snaps, "Can we get this godforsaken event over with so I can get back to presiding over a civilization gone to hell in a handcart?" Mrs. Landingham suggests that his mood is being affected by his diet: "You don't get enough roughage." The Prez threatens to "beat [her] senseless with a head of cabbage," and asks Charlie if anyone has a copy of his remarks. Charlie reports that Sam is bringing them, and that Toby and C.J. are also on their way. The Prez asks, "Why aren't they here right now?" Charlie says that they didn't know it was raining. Thunder booms loudly. The Prez gripes, "Nothing like surrounding yourself with the best and the brightest, Charlie."

The Prez's group and the White House staff finally meet up and join forces. Sam gives the Prez a copy of the speech, and mentions that "there are some nice anecdotes in there about trout fishing." Josh joins the herd and gives the Prez a quick briefing: "The CBO is gonna revise its outyear projections, two commissioners resigned from the FEC this morning, and the NGA endorsed trigger locks." The CBO is the Congressional Budget Office. The FEC is the Federal Election Commission. The NGA is, I suspect, the National Gun Association, playing the part of the National Rifle Association so that Charlton Heston won't yell at the network. After a moment, the Prez stops to question Josh about the FEC resignations. Leo says, "This is not the best time to go off on a flight of idealistic --" before the Prez cuts him off. Leo says that the Senate will fill the vacant slots, but the Prez wants to put in "our guys." Leo insists that they'll lose, but the Prez insists, "We can dangle our feet in the water." He becomes very attached to this metaphor, repeating it again and again during the rest of the conversation. The Prez directs Josh to find two candidates who favor aggressive campaign finance reform, and finally begins marching in to meet the fisherman. C.J. takes this opportunity to ask the rest of the staff about that mysterious floating piece of paper, but no one has heard about it. The Prez asks, "C.J., are you taller than you usually are?" but she replies, "No sir, I'm my usual height." She does seem to be towering over him, but then we don't usually see them in a frame together. The Prez goes into the auditorium, muttering that he "couldn't pick a trout out of a police lineup," while Josh gets excited about the opportunity to reshape the FEC. ["Re the trout: I think Sorkin's forgotten that Jed's been to all fifty-four national parks and possesses an 'encyclopedic knowledge of the ridiculous and the dork-like,' which should include trout. Shouldn't it?" - deborah] Leo tells Josh he's dead in the water, and Josh snaps, "That's what I thought, too, but after your little pep talk just now --" before going into the room. Toby, Sam, and Leo lurk in the doorway, and we can hear the Prez greeting the crowd over a loudspeaker. Toby suddenly says, "Sam?" and Sam responds, "Damn it!" Leo is bewildered, and Sam brushes it off by saying, "I forgot to do something." We hear the Prez say, "As I look out over this magnificent vista...." Toby's head droops. Credits. What I want to know is, where was this Trout Fisherman speech originally going to take place? It must have been somewhere nearby, and while both the White House lawn and the Mall are pretty, I wouldn't describe them as "magnificent vistas."

Donna, the designated spokesman for the viewers (whether we like it or not), wants to know about the FEC. Josh explains: "Six commissioners are appointed for a six-year term." Donna confirms that the terms overlap, so that two people are appointed every other year. Josh tells her that this is the first time that two of the commissioners have resigned on the same day. Donna asks, "So the President has the opportunity to stack the FEC with our people and make a measurable impact on campaign finance reform?" When Josh confirms this, Donna chirps, "Well do it, baby." Josh confirms that Donna referred to him as "baby," and then explains that while the President technically makes the appointments, the appointees are always chosen by leaders of both parties. Donna encourages him to "change the nature of democracy," and Josh decides he'll need a bagel first.

C.J. is explaining the difference between the White House's Easter egg roll and Easter egg hunt. She says, "The theme of this year's event is 'Learning is delightful and delicious,' as, by the way, am I." C.J., don't give Danny any more ideas, please. After the briefing, she stops to speak to a reporter named Steve, who has a prominent chin. She asks what he knows about that darn piece of paper, but all he knows is that it exists. She asks him to tell her first if he finds out anything about it. Steve responds, "If I find out anything more, I'll tell my editor first." C.J. sighs, "I keep forgetting [that] you don't work for me." Steve leaves, passing the much-missed Mandy, who is lurking near a doorway. (Yes, she's missed. I've taken numerous pot-shots at her and she's still around, so I must have missed.) C.J. asks if Mandy knows about the paper, and Mandy says she knows everything about it, adding, "I wrote it." I rush out to the Party Store to buy all my supplies for a big Mandy farewell party. ["I stocked up months ago." - deborah] Mandy explains, "When I was working for Russell, I wrote a memo, outlining the weaknesses and vulnerabilities of the Bartlet administration, and mapping out a strategy for re-nomination." Mandy tries to explain that she was really angry when she was kicked off the Bartlet campaign, as if that's somehow going to prevent them from firing her ass again. C.J. demands to see a copy of the memo immediately, and stomps off. Mandy trails for a moment crying, "C.J. ---!" before a door is slammed in her face.

Leo, working on the computer in his office, suddenly shouts for Margaret. We will now introduce the running gag. I'm only going to explain this once, even though it comes up three times during the show. Someone sent an email to Margaret about the number of calories in a muffin being sold in the White House cafeteria. Margaret forwarded it to a lot of people. One of those people hit "reply all." As a result, the White House email system was overloaded. No, it's not particularly funny, and hearing about it repeatedly makes it even less funny. ["I think it's also fairly implausible. What are they using to network the White House, tin cans and strings?" - deborah] Also, Margaret has some kind of "That Girl" hair style which I don't think is particularly suitable to her looks or her position. While Leo learns about the muffin fiasco, Josh enters, and when Margaret leaves, they discuss strategy. Josh has found two nominees for the FEC who favor campaign finance reform: John Bacon and Patricia Calhoun. Leo knows who Bacon is, and Josh explains that Calhoun is a policy director at the Heritage Foundation. After noting that party leaders will hate both nominees, Leo tells Josh, "Meet with the top guys in the leadership offices." Josh asks if the Prez thinks this will get anywhere. Leo hesitates, and finally says, "No."

Josh runs into Toby and Sam in the hallway, and tells them about his nominees. Or potential nominees. Toby tells Josh, "It's our turn with the boys," and Josh continues on his way as Sam and Toby enter the meeting room. A large number of men in uniform, and some men in suits, take their seats as Toby and Sam sit down at the table. Toby explains, "We feel a little hamstrung because of the policy inherited regarding gays and lesbians in the military, and we'd like as much informed input as possible before making recommendations to the President." A major asks what consequence their recommendation will have. Sam says, "Bearing in mind that the President seldom, if ever, listens to my recommendations, I would imagine the consequences to be little." Then he adds, "If the Commander-in-Chief orders that gays can serve openly in the military, that's the way it's gonna be, and anybody who chooses to disobey that order can stand court-martial under the Uniform Code of Military Justice." Unnamed Major #2 opines, "It takes an act of Congress to amend the Uniform Code, and the Uniform Code makes sodomy a crime." Toby smiles grimly and says, "I guess it's gonna be a pretty short meeting."

Donna gives C.J. some facts about the egg roll, which is an Easter event at the White House and not a tasty Chinese appetizer, and mentions that Mandy is in C.J.'s office. C.J. goes to her office, confirms Mandy's presence, and closes the door. Mandy hands C.J. a manila envelope containing the memo. C.J. asks who else has it, but Mandy doesn't know. C.J. says she'll read it now, and tells Mandy, "Go back to your office and don't answer any questions." ["Mandy has an actual office? We've never seen it." - deborah] Nervously, Mandy asks, "You'll call me when you're done reading?" C.J. looks up and says, "I'd count on it." Mandy exits, perhaps stopping on the way to her office to pick up some empty boxes so that she can start packing.

Over lunch, Josh talks to some people about campaign finance reform. Blah blah soft money, blah blah political action committees, blah blah corruption-cakes. Paul Provenza listens to Josh's lecture with amusement. Josh finally gets to the point and explains, "The President is strongly considering John Ranford Bacon and Patty Calhoun to fill the two seats." Provenza says, "I'm pretty sure we've already got our two guys." Apparently they've selected Grant Kalen and Joe Barkley. "Who will oppose any campaign finance reform," Josh notes. Provenza bobs his head up and down like a parrot as he says, "The party leadership's gonna choose a Republican. The party leadership's gonna choose a Democrat. That's the way it's always been, that's the way it's gonna be, that's the way it is." Then he takes a dainty sip of coffee while Josh sniffs that it's the President who makes the appointments. Provenza snaps, "And the Senate confirms them!" He threatens, "Embarrass us like this, and we will give the same back to you tenfold. Every piece of legislation [that] the White House wants off the table will make a sudden appearance." Another, less recognizable, actor details the items: "541, school prayer, family support act, the entertainment decency act..." "English as the national language," adds another vaguely familiar, but not quite recognizable, guy in a suit. Josh wonders, "Wouldn't it be easier to just not confirm our nominees?" Provenza says they'll do that, too. Josh is stunned by the idea that there would be political retribution for the nominations. Sometimes Josh is just a little bit nave. Provenza explains, "You know why? Because you know, if you do this, you're gonna lose, and we're gonna look bad winning." Josh gets fed up, and snaps, "Reject whatever you want! You know, four hours ago, this was a fool's errand, and the President knew it. This was a test balloon, this was a 'just out of curiosity, let's see what would happen if' meeting. But you've managed to get me on board." One of the suits declares that there's a caucus, and they all scamper out, leaving Josh alone at the table. To this day, the word "caucus" makes me think of the Dodo in Alice in Wonderland which has probably influenced my view of politics significantly.

Mrs. Landingham strolls past a spooky glowing bust as Charlie approaches and tells her that the Prez is displeased with his lunch, which "consisted almost entirely of vegetables." Mrs. L. explains that this is something known as "salad," but Charlie says that the Prez would prefer a sandwich. Mrs. L. says, "Tell the President he will eat his salad, and if he doesn't like it, he knows where to put his salad." Charlie wisely decides to give up, and the camera pans in to the conference room where Sam and Toby are still dealing with the military head honchos. One of them insists that the "Don't ask, don't tell, don't pursue" policy works. Sam says it doesn't, and starts spewing facts: "Eleven hundred and forty-five people were discharged for being gay in 1998." Toby claims that this is a record, although actually, 1998 discharges were just the highest in ten years. Which is still impressive. Sam adds that there has been a 92% increase in discharges since the policy was implemented. He goes on to say, "Four hundred and fourteen Air Force discharges. The highest in two decades. Two hundred and seventy one of them [were] during basic training at Lackland Air Force Base." Toby steals my joke, not that I mind, by asking, "Major, what the hell is going on at Lackland Air Force Base?" Major #2 tells Toby, "I don't like your sense of humor." Toby smirks, "I get that a lot." C.J. steps in and asks for Toby, who goes to talk with her, pausing to tell Sam, "You're doing good." Sam rushes to note, "Toby praised me! End of world is nigh!" in his personal diary. C.J. tells Toby about Mandy's memo, and he leads her to his office to discuss the matter further.

Donna greets Josh near the main entrance to ask, "How'd it go?" Josh wonders how she knew he'd gotten back. She says she saw him through the window, but Josh points out that she doesn't have a window. "You have a window," Donna explains. Josh asks, "What are you doing in my office when I'm not there?" She answers, "Looking for you out the window." She's more like a pet than a secretary, really. He finally says, "It went fine," without enthusiasm. For some reason, Donna feels entitled to more detail than that, and claims that this is their "special time together." Josh says, "I'm not in the mood to mess around," although I would have said something more forceful, like, "Go away, stop bothering me, and do your work!" Josh asks Donna to prep him on English as the National Language. She wants to know if they're for it or against it, and as Josh gets more exasperated, she wonders, "We're not in favor of making another language the official language, are we?" People who are as thin as Donna shouldn't behave in a way that makes other people realize how easy it would be to snap her neck. She finally says she'll have it for him in thirty minutes. You know she's just going to pull something off the web, right? She also tells Josh that Toby wanted to see him as soon as he got back.

Toby is perusing the memo of doom with C.J.. He reads, "The reality of the Bartlet White House is a flood of mistakes. An agenda helplessly stalled and lacking a coherent strategy. An administration plagued by indecision." On the wall behind Toby's shoulder is a copy of the newspaper front page that allowed a policeman to identify him in "Celestial Navigation." Josh arrives, and C.J. fills him in the situation. Josh asks how bad it is, and C.J. says, "Well, she takes the three of us to town. We don't look like rocket scientists. Then again, we're not rocket scientists." Toby says it's bad for the Prez and Leo. Everyone agrees that C.J. needs to find out who has a copy. Toby says, "Whose paper is it in tomorrow? We have to know, right away." As she leaves, Josh sits down and says to Toby, "Our second year doesn't seem to be going a whole lot better than our first, does it?" Hey, but at least your show got renewed!

Toby pokes his head into Margaret's office to ask if Leo's free. Leo's talking to Admiral Fitzwallace, so while Toby waits, Margaret repeats the muffin story again. She also says that the emails are "bouncing back and forth with subatomic speed." Fitzwallace steps out, and asks Toby what the meeting across the hall is about. Toby tells him Sam's talking to people about gays in the military in an effort to form a coherent position on the issue. Fitzwallace says, "When he comes up with one, let me know, will you?" I'm starting to become a Fitzwallace fan. Toby enters Leo's office. After some chit-chat about military funding, Toby tells Leo, "There's gonna be a thing." You can tell why he's the communications director. Then he tells Leo about the memo, which has reached such ominous proportions that I'm starting to wonder if they need to send Luke Skywalker in to blow the thing up. Toby says that there are observations in the memo that will displease the Prez. Leo asks, "I move him to the middle?" Toby says, "The sense is that his instinct is to be aggressive, and you take him to safe ground." Leo repeats, "Don't worry about it," a few times, and rejects Toby's offer to show him a copy of the memo.

Donna hands Josh her six-page report on English as the national language, saying, "I gave you some good stuff on James Madison --" Josh interrupts, "James Madison? I didn't ask for a damn social studies paper!" Donna takes offense, "Look at the memo, I gave you what you asked for. Don't snap at me!" She starts to stomp off, whining, "What's wrong with everyone today?" Because it's all about Donna, folks, and don't you forget it. Josh finally apologizes, explaining, "I wasn't snapping at you. I didn't realize that you also gave me the stuff I asked for. I thought it was just... I thought you just gave me James Madison." Donna sniffs that the Madison information will help him. Josh finally makes it to the sanctuary of his office, only to discover Mandy lurking inside. She wants to know what the Madison stuff is about, so Josh explains about the FEC appointments and the threats of retaliation. A lot of this episode consists of various staff members telling each other things we already know. Mandy, whose hair is incredibly poofy, says that the Prez won't look good fighting against English as the national language. Josh responds, "I've been working here fourteen months, Mandy; tell me what else I should know." Mandy, slow to take a hint, decides to repeat her point in more detail: "You take an opposition to a flag burning amendment, school prayer, and gays in the military, you pile on 'no' to English as the national language, and they will paint a picture." The Bartlet administration is opposed to gays in the military? I'm confused. Josh is still uninterested in Mandy's advice, so she finally says, her voice quivering, "I'm just saying, it's my job to tell you that." Josh notes, "Today really isn't the best day for you to tell me what your job is." Mandy grumbles, "I wrote an op memo, Josh. You and I have written twenty of them." He asks, "You never heard of a burn bag?" Mandy says, "They got it off my hard disk." Who are "They?" If it's a vast right-wing conspiracy, I quit. Josh asks if Mandy knows who has it, and when she says she doesn't, he says, "Then there's not much you can do for us today." ["How does she know 'they' got it off her hard disk if she doesn't know who has it in the first place? She probably gave at least one copy to Lloyd Russell, and God knows who else." - deborah] Since she hasn't had her fill of abuse yet, Mandy goes back to complaining that the Prez shouldn't take a stand against English as the national language. Josh tells her, "Don't worry about it, it's not gonna happen. The President's not gonna nominate who he wants to the FEC." "Why not?" Mandy asks. Josh pauses for a moment, and finally answers, "Because that's not what we do." Mandy finally, blessedly, leaves.

Tempers are flaring (in a manly way, of course) among the military folk. Sam mentions a report, and Major #1 interrupts, "We know the report. A lot of those cases you're talking about, of the gays being discharged, came from voluntary statements." Sam says that a lot of the statements were not voluntary, according to standards in any civilian court. He says, "It's not a voluntary statement when it's given to a psychotherapist, as in the case of former Marine Corporal David Blessing. It is not a voluntary statement when it's made in a personal diary, as in the case of former West Point cadet Nicole Garrison. It is not when it's made after being asked, as in the case of Master Chief Petty Officer Diane Kelli!" Bring it home, Sam! Testify! "And it is not, when it's been coerced out of a service member through fear, through intimidation, through death threats, and threats of criminal prosecution, as in the case of former Air Force Major Bob Kiddis, former Marine Gunnery Sergeant Kevin Keys, and four sailors aboard the U.S.S. Essex." Heh, he said "member." The names have been changed in Sam's version, but you can read about the cases Sam is describing in Conduct Unbecoming: The Fifth Annual Report on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Pursue." Major #1 insists, "You take care of your guys, we'll take care of ours." I have no idea what he means. Sam replies, "You're not taking care of your guys, Major; your guys are out looking for jobs." Major #1 says, "Those weren't our guys." Enter Admiral Fitzwallace, who introduces himself around the room. One of the congressmen says that it's an honor to meet him, and Fitzwallace responds, "I imagine it would be, yes." ["Fitzwallace rocks." - deborah] He grabs a danish, and asks the majors what they thinks about gays in the military. Major #1 is a bit nervous, and tries to avoid answering, but the Admiral insists on hearing their opinion. Major #2 finally says that they aren't prejudiced against homosexuals. Fitzwallace concludes, "You just don't want to see them serving in the armed forces." Major #2 agrees. Fitzwallace notes that having openly gay servicemen would threaten unit discipline and cohesion, and says that "the military wasn't designed to be an instrument of social change." He goes on, "The problem with that is, that's what they were saying about me fifty years ago. Blacks shouldn't serve in the military. It would disrupt the unit. You know what? It did disrupt the unit. The unit got over it. The unit changed. I'm an Admiral in the U.S. Navy, and chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Beat that with a stick." Fitzwallace discards the remains of his danish and exits, but Sam follows him out to thanks him. Fitzwallace says, "You're not gonna get anywhere." Sam says that the Prez just wanted "exploratory meetings." Fitzwallace strides away, possibly to see about getting a spin-off.

C.J. hurries into Danny's office. I guess it's probably not just Danny's office, and that other reporters use it too, but let's just call it "Danny's office" to spare me from typing, "C.J. hurries into the office which Danny shares with some other reporters." See how unwieldy a phrase that is? Anyway, Danny asks her to wait while he finishes his story. She waits. And waits. And finally asks, "Danny, is it the Magna Carta?" He snaps, "I'm trying to finish a thought, here!" C.J. apologizes, and begins tapping a pen against her hand. Danny gives up. C.J. confirms that Danny knows about the Satanic memo and then says, "I don't like exploiting our friendship in any way, and I certainly don't like taking advantage of any feelings beyond friendship you might have for me." Danny interjects, "You have them for me, too." Is loathing considered to be a feeling "beyond friendship"? C.J. struggles toward the point, and asks Danny if he knows who has the memo. He has it, of course. Who didn't see that one coming? C.J. is stunned, and asks if he's going to write about it. "Sure," he says. "Why?" she demands. Danny says that it's news, and C.J. shoots back, "It's not news just because it's entertaining." Danny spells it out: "It's news 'cause the media director of a successful presidential campaign wrote a memo to a leader of the President's party describing his weaknesses. Well, there are other people in the President's party, a lot of 'em buy my newspaper, and I think they'd like to know what Mandy thinks, and I don't think that's at all out of line." While C.J. tries to argue, Danny goes on, "She's a key player in the Democratic party, and she says that the President is staggeringly vulnerable. And that may not be good news for you, C.J., but it's news." I hate it when I have to agree with Danny. C.J. hates it too, I guess, because she stomps out after telling him, "We'll have a comment for you by the end of the day." Danny chases after her, shouting, "None of this is our fault!" He says that the memo is accurate, and that they should have asked Mandy for a critique when they hired her, but they didn't because "you knew what she was going to say, you knew she was right, [and] you knew there was nothing you could do about it." Danny decides to pour some more salt into the wound, and adds, "You guys are stuck in the mud around here. And none of it is the fault of the press. I know you're frustrated, but it ain't nothing compared to the people who voted for you. So don't come in here and question my - 'We'll have a comment for you by the end of the day?' When I want the White House to comment on a story of mine, I'll ask for it, C.J." Et tu, Danny?

In the never-ending meeting, a congressman demands to go on the record as saying, "I have no objection to what somebody does in the privacy of their own home. But when we're talking about school rooms, when we're talking about the Boy Scouts, when we're talking about an Army barracks --" Sam interrupts to ask, "Why does being gay mean you can't keep your hands to yourself? And with what kind of gentlemanly pride are the armed forces willing to lay claim to restraint in that area?" That was a complicated sentence, and it took me a few readings to understand that he was asking if the armed forces are proud of their self-control. Sam goes on, "Do you want me to go get the file on sexual harassment in the DOD? Do you want to ask these guys about Tailhook?" The congressman says that only Congress can change the current "Don't ask, don't tell" law, adding, "If the President were serious about changing it, he'd be serious about changing it. He would not send you in here with me, he would not send you in here with two relatively junior DOD staffers. He'd call his staff together, he'd say, 'I want a resolution in the House, I want fifty high-profile co-sponsors, I want a deal and I want it now.' Has the President done that?" Sam is forced to admit that the Prez hasn't. The congressman asserts that the meeting is a waste of time, and everyone leaves.

Margaret tells Toby the latest news in the muffin-email saga. She asks Toby to confirm the calorie count in the muffins by sending one to the lab. Toby agrees, and instructs her, "Get me a muffin. Be careful not to handle it yourself, you want to use gloves. Slip it to me in a plastic bag, I'll send it off to the lab." Margaret frowns, "You're mocking me now, aren't you." Toby stares at her and confesses, "Yes." Toby, I'll slip you a muffin any time. Toby goes to Leo's office and tells Leo that the latest polls show a 42% approval rating for the Bartlet administration. Leo is stunned that they dropped five percentage points in a week, saying, "We didn't do anything last week!" Toby replies, "I'll say." Leo suddenly asks, "When you start thinking about jumping ship, you'll let me know, right?" Why, Leo, do you want to go with him? Toby complains that the only victory they've had all year is putting Mendoza on the Supreme Court. Leo points out that Bartlet didn't have a mandate because he was elected with 48% of the vote. Toby grumbles, "One victory in a year stinks, in the life of an administration. But it's not the ones we lose that bother me, Leo, it's the ones we don't suit up for. And I'm not too crazy about you questioning my loyalty just then." C.J. enters and announces that the Prez is reading Mandy's memo of everlasting torment. Leo says "It's just gonna piss him off," and C.J. explains that it'll be in the newspaper tomorrow. Josh and Sam wander in, with Josh grumbling about their polling numbers. He tells Leo, "The Senate will confirm Bacon and Calhoun. They'll have to, 'cause their credentials are too good, and the voters want campaign reform. As a punishment, they'll roll out a legislative agenda to force the President to come down on the unpopular side of everything." Leo says they won't put it on the table, and Josh starts to argue that they shouldn't be intimidated. Leo insists, and Josh finally says, "Then we'll live with their candidates for the FEC." "As we always have," Leo responds. Asked about his day, Sam says, "It was the same meeting we've been having for -- it was fine." Toby says nothing, but does so rather pointedly. Charlie enters, and Leo goes to talk with the Prez.

The Prez complains to Leo, "I really did wake up energized this morning. I never go to bed that way." ["You and me both, pal." -- deborah] He asks if Leo is bothered by the lost memo of the Apocalypse. Leo says he is. The Prez says that they've heard the complaint before, "You drive me to the political safe ground," and that it isn't true. Leo says he knows it isn't true, and suddenly barks, "You drive me there!" The Prez is blindsided as Leo goes on, "We're stuck in neutral because that's where you tell me to stay." The Prez starts to return fire, saying, "You came to my house, Leo, and you said, 'Jed, let's run for President.' And I said, 'Why?' and you said, 'So you can open your mouth and say what you think!'" He couldn't do that when he wasn't the President? ["I guess people cared less back then." -- deborah] Leo says, "I don't see a shortage of cameras or microphones around here. What the hell were you waiting for?" The Prez tries to interrupt, but Leo steamrolls over him, "Everything you do says, 'For God's sake, Leo, I don't want to be a one-term President.'" The Prez says, "Didn't I say, put our guys on the FEC?" Leo points out that he didn't, actually; he said, "Let's dangle our feet in the water of whatever the hell it is we dangle our feet in when we want to make it look like we're trying without pissing too many people off." I think Leo's paraphrasing, there. While Charlie tries to think of some excuse he can use to leave the room, the Prez declares, "You brought me in on teachers, you brought me in on capital gains, you brought me in on China, and you brought me in on guns." Leo says the Prez never declared a position on any of those issues, adding, "You dangle your feet, and I'm the hall monitor around here. It's my job to make sure nobody runs too fast, or goes off too far." Leo tells the Prez about Josh and Sam's adventures, and how they never get anywhere because everyone on the opposing side knew the Prez wouldn't take a stand. The Prez complains, "If I ever told you to get aggressive on campaign finance, or gays in the military, you would tell me, 'Don't run too fast or go too far.'" Leo says that if the Prez told him to get aggressive about any issue, he'd say, "I serve at the pleasure of the President." Leo goes on, "You want to see me mobilize these people, these people who would walk in fire if you told them to? These people who showed up to lead? These people who showed up to fight?" Charlie is dragged into the bloodletting, as Leo points out that Charlie wanted to go to the club opening despite the death threats he got for dating Zoey, but the Prez said he shouldn't go. Leo says, "This twenty-one-year-old, at six hundred dollars a week, said, 'I'm going where I want to, because a man stands up.'" A shout out to A Man Could Stand Up, by Ford Madox Ford? No, almost certainly not, but it's a good book, and I was reminded of it by that line. Leo says, "Everyone's waiting for you. I don't know how much longer." The Prez starts muttering, "I don't want to go to sleep like this." Leo says that he doesn't have to. The Prez whispers, "I want to speak." Leo says, "Say it out loud. Say it to me." I begin asking Niels and Johanna, who joined me to watch the show, "What the hell is happening? When did this become a therapy session?" The Prez says, "This is more important than re-election. I want to speak now." Leo makes him say that again, too, before responding, "We're in business." Leo says, "We got our asses kicked first quarter, but it's time to get up off the mat." He makes the Prez repeat his new mantra while scribbling on a legal pad. Leo says he's going to take the staff "off the leash." The Prez asks if Leo has a strategy planned. Leo says he has the beginnings of one, and shows the Prez what he's written: "Let Bartlet be Bartlet." Johanna begins muttering, "This is bad, this is bad." While the Prez stares at the note, perhaps wondering if Leo's fallen off the wagon, Leo hurries out to rejoin the rest of the staff in his office.

Because you can't have too many sports metaphors, Leo tells everyone, "Our ground game isn't working, we're gonna put the ball in the air. If we're gonna walk into walls, I want us running into 'em." Josh, speaking for the confused portion of the audience, asks, "What are you saying?" Leo directs Josh to say that the Prez has named his FEC nominees. The soundtrack trills with excitement. Leo says that while they'll lose some battles, and maybe the election, "We're not gonna be threatened by issues. We're gonna put them front and center. We're gonna raise the level of public debate in this country, and let that be our legacy." I had to review this section a few times to hear everything because I kept snickering. Leo asks, "Does that sound all right to you, Josh?" Josh thinks for a minute, then says, "I serve at the pleasure of the President of the United States." C.J. says, "I serve at the Pleasure of the President," neglecting to mention which President, perhaps to save time. Sam says, "I serve at the pleasure of President Bartlet," so none of you other Presidents better expect any help from Sam. Against all of his acting instincts, which are screaming, "Save yourself! Kansas doesn't have this much corn!" Toby finally says, "I serve at the pleasure of the President." ["At this point, I wish to remind you all that Strega wrote this recap, not me, and you should direct your grievances to her." - deborah] Everyone looks at each other smugly until Leo directs them, "Let's get in the game." Everyone marches away, and Leo stops to look at the Prez before we fade out.