By LTG
Open on a view of C.J., seen the wrong way through the peephole of a door. She looks incredibly tiny, of course, but you can see that she is quickly throwing a shirt on over her bra. I imagine the people who have a Wonder Woman fantasy are already circulating that screencap on the internet. C.J. approaches the peephole, and soon her eye fills the screen. She opens the door and is greeted by Staff Sergeant Kelty (who is there with another sergeant). We establish that it's 5:30 in the morning as they invade her apartment. As Kelty speaks to C.J., she keeps reaching to close the door, only to have someone else come walking through. The door is finally closed just as Kelty holds up a White House floor plan and tells C.J. that while she has been exiting at one particular door, she should probably start using the west gate, which will be closer to her new parking spot. He tells her that in the event of a situation, she'll need to use the designated exit and proceed directly to Marine One so that she (along with the President and the National Security Adviser) can be flown to their secure location. C.J.: "What kind of situation?" Kelty: "A nuclear attack." C.J.: "Are we expecting one?" Kelty: "Well, any kind of attack. But nuclear's gonna top the list." I'm glad to know that someone has these things ranked. Was there some kind of American Idol-like voting system to establish those rankings? (Note to self: pitch Apocalypse Idol to the head of Fox.) While this conversation is going on, people are scurrying around C.J.'s apartment doing mysterious things. The only thing I can clearly make out is that one person seems to dismantle and carry away her computer. I hope they bring her a new one. A new computer always cheers me up. I'm typing this on my new iMac, and I'm as happy as a clam. Kelty tells C.J. that if there is a situation while she is at home she should proceed with all due haste to a field that is about a mile away from her house. C.J.: "A field?" Kelty: "A pasture, more like." C.J.: "I'll be standing with cows?" Kelty: "A couple of horses is all, and they'll scoot out the way as soon as the 'copter shows up." It was at this point that I suspected that this would be a pretty good episode. Kelty's utter humorlessness had me laughing out loud, and his dialogue was pitch perfect tidewater dialect ("more like" and "out the way"). Deborah Cahn also wrote "The Supremes"; I really hope she can be persuaded to write more episodes. (Of course, good episodes are much harder to recap, so maybe I should hope she stays away.)
There's a knock on C.J.'s door. She opens the door and immediately says "no!" It's the Secret Service -- C.J. is being given a detail of two agents (DeCastro and Shay). Their boss is with them, and C.J. tells him that she doesn't want the detail, but he steamrolls right over her. One of the few flaws with this episode was that there was no acknowledgment of the fact that C.J.'s resistance to having Secret Service protection is not just stubbornness on her part. Instead, it probably springs from the fact that the last time she had an agent protecting her, she fell in love with him, and then he was murdered. As C.J. tries to close the door, a hand hits it and one more person walks through. She sticks her head out into the hall to see if anyone else is coming before she closes it again. I do wonder where C.J. is supposed to be living. I'm still trying to think of a place near D.C. that would have a fancy apartment building and still be within a mile of a pasture.
C.J. gets off an elevator in the White House walks up to Charlie, who is waiting outside the residence. She asks him if he's been waiting for her, and he tells her that he just knocked. He asks her if she's okay. C.J." "In the event of an emergency, I stand in the middle of a field with a cow and wait to be airlifted." Jed opens the door and asks C.J. if she's excited. She starts briefing him as they walk down the hall. He dons his jacket (via coat flip, of course), and it comes down square on top of C.J.'s head -- she has to duck way down to get out from under it. (It was either that or end up with her face stuck to Jed's back.) As she comes up, she brushes her hair out of her eyes. She also continues briefing Jed without a hitch. It was very hard to tell if that was accidental or planned. If it was planned, it was a great touch. If it was accidental, these actors have far more aplomb than I ever will; I would never have made it through the scene without breaking into laughter. They enter Debbie's office just as Jed tells C.J., "You're gonna be great at this." And then, to the world at large: "She's gonna be great." C.J. veers off to go to her office, and Debbie asks Jed if C.J. is nervous. He tells her that she's fine. Debbie: "That's good. I'd be apoplectic." Jed tells Charlie to try to keep things light by rescheduling anything that can wait. He also asks him to check with the hospital and see if Leo is up for a phone call.
Margaret's work area. A handsome young man (named Elroy) is standing there with a rolling cart full of binders. C.J. walks up, and Margaret introduces her to Elroy. Apparently, he's the guy who brings the briefing books. C.J. looks as the cart and asks, "These are this week's?" Margaret: "These are today's." Just then Toby walks by and asks C.J. if she's ready. His arms are full of folders and papers. She tells him that she asked Josh to be there to back him up, but he probably forgot. Toby is a bit insulted at the thought that he needs backup.
C.J., followed by Toby and Carol, walks into the briefing room. She approaches the podium, says good morning (to which they all respond, like a room full of first-graders), and then tells them, "This will be my last briefing as White House Press Secretary." Practically every head shoots up from its notepad to look at her. She tells them that Toby will be filling in until the President can name a replacement. She is just about to start a sappy speech when Carol hands her a note, forcing her to interrupt herself and introduce Jed. At the podium, he announces that it has been thirty-six hours since Leo's surgery, and that he is headed for a full recovery: "Although he will always be a very valuable part of this administration, he will not be returning to his post. I am therefore pleased and very proud to announce that, effective immediately, the position of White House Chief of Staff will be filled by Claudia Jean Cregg." The White House staff gathered near the podium begin applauding, and in just a few seconds the assembled press corps is giving C.J. a standing ovation. Credits. Jimmy Smits is now in the credits, just before Martin Sheen.
C.J. is walking down the hall with both Carol and Margaret. Carol is filling C.J. in on a disease outbreak that was just reported by A.P. Margaret asks Carol, "You're telling her this as Press Secretary or Chief of Staff?" C.J. gives Carol some instructions on how to deal with the A.P., and Margaret points out, "That was Press Secretary." C.J. starts to walk away when Margaret says "CDC," apparently to remind C.J. that she now has to make decisions as Chief of Staff. C.J. takes the hint immediately and asks Margaret to set up a call for her with various health-related agencies. As Margaret and C.J. both walk away, Carol calls out to C.J. and asks her if she wants Carol to sit in. Awkward. C.J. tells Carol that Toby will need her, "just for a couple of days." Carol makes the same face that I make when a guy breaks up with me, and then says, "That's fine."
C.J. walks into Margaret's workspace, which is apparently an antechamber to the Chief of Staff's office. I feel like I'm learning more about the layout of various offices in this episode than I have in the five years of watching the show. (Well, four years, really, because I gave up pretty early on in Season 5.) There are flowers everywhere, and C.J. says, "Wow. People shouldn't be sending me flowers." Margaret: "They're for Leo, you self-centered freak." Go ahead and guess which words in that sentence I added. C.J. finally walks into her own new office, which is dark and (of course) still full of Leo's memorabilia (along with more flowers). Margaret walks in and apologizes that the office isn't ready for her to fully move in. C.J. tells her not to worry about it, and Margaret starts going over the schedule for the day. It includes things like a CIA briefing, a palm-print and eye-scan for security, a call with Treasury, and feedback for EPA on the markup of a clean air bill. And "Armed Forces is coming to talk about a budget boost for the peacekeeping tour because they forgot to factor in food. For the troops." Isn't that what Halliburton is for? C.J.: "And this gets us to?" Margaret: "8:45."
Briefing room. We see a reporter asking about NATO resistance to providing troops for peacekeeping. (I thought they already had the support of every NATO member country?) Cut to the podium, which is...empty? Ah, Toby dropped his papers and bent down to pick them up. So there's still some residual slapstick from last week. Toby stands up and haltingly tells the press corps that Jed will be speaking with the Secretary-General of NATO that afternoon. As various reporters start to press him, Toby falls back to telling them that he is not commenting. At the end, we hear someone ask, "Can you point us to a subject you're commenting on?"
Cut to Margaret's office, where she is watching Toby on a monitor. C.J. walks in looking for a DoD analysis, just in time to see Toby being asked about C.J.'s ability to fill Leo's shoes. Reporters are pressing Toby on C.J.'s lack of foreign policy experience, and he is becoming both flustered and hostile. He eventually points out that the U.S. is about to become involved in a very complicated situation in the Middle East, and that "C.J. Cregg's not the only one working without a net." Margaret stands up with a terrified look on her face as C.J. just starts muttering, "Oh, oh, no, no." We see that Josh is also watching on a monitor. Toby keeps digging himself in deeper, and eventually tells the press that in the event the various foreign policy professionals fail at their jobs, "the President can always send C.J. Cregg to Ramallah to swat at suicide bombers with her purse." Josh takes off running at top speed (but with very tiny steps, as one runs when one is trying to maintain some dignity), and we hear C.J. screaming to Margaret, "My purse? Page Carol and get him the hell out of there." Just as a reporter is reading Toby's quote about the purse back to him, Jed walks up behind Debbie and Charlie, who have been watching the entire thing on their own monitor.
Josh finishes his run by sliding down the hallway just outside the briefing room. Carol is leading Toby out of the briefing room and telling him that he won't have to brief anymore: "You're better with the written material. We can flood 'em with press releases." As Carol walks away, Josh casually walks up to Toby: "How'd it go?" Toby: "Fine." Josh: "I missed it." Josh tells Toby that he's thinking about the substance-abuse initiative, and he wonders if they shouldn't just "send C.J. to Compton, have her swat at drug lords with her purse." By this time, they've arrived at Margaret's desk. Toby blames his gaffe on the press, accusing them of ambushing him. Will walks up and asks them how things are going. He tells them that he received a call from someone at the Policy Institute who wondered if either Toby or Josh were interested in a new position. Apparently, they've both started receiving calls from headhunters. In response to Will's question about how C.J. is doing, Josh says that she's a pro. Will: "Like a ninja with a Prada clutch." See, Deborah Cahn can even write jokes for Will that make sense. Margaret tells them that C.J. is ready, and they all file into her office.
C.J.'s office. She is standing behind her desk as Josh, Toby, and Will file in. She calls them "men of valor." Quick, call the Secret Service -- someone has slipped C.J. some drugs. Toby starts to apologize, and she tells him that she'd like to move past it. But he keeps going, and she eventually has to tell him to shut up. Margaret comes in, and in response to Josh's question, tells them all that Leo is awake and cranky. She asks C.J. if she's started the senior staff meeting, and C.J. tells her that apparently she has. (Which I think Margaret should know, because she just told the senior staff that C.J. was ready for them.) Josh and Toby take seats in front of C.J.'s desk. Margaret points out that Leo normally likes to glance over the top sheet of the intel reports and circle items about which he has questions so that he can get information before the afternoon briefing. Josh tells her to go ahead: "We can wait." C.J. sits down at the table in the front of the office (against the wall farthest from her desk), and starts circling items on the page. At the end, she just draws a big circle around the entire list. Margaret tells her that they'll set aside some extra time. As Josh and Toby look on (with Will nowhere in sight, although I know he's in the room), Margaret tells C.J. that Leo also likes to order his lunch before the senior staff meeting: "Leo likes a roast turkey sandwich." C.J.: "That's fine." Margaret stands there expectantly, and then asks, "Mayo?" C.J.: "Please tell me we can discuss this later."
C.J. stays in her seat at the table and starts the meeting. She tells them that they need to change the search for a new Press Secretary from priority three to priority one. It's at this point that Toby and Josh realize that C.J. is not going to sit behind her desk, and they each stand up and turn their seats around. (Toby does it by picking up the chair and holding it firmly in place against his ass as he turns around). C.J. tells Toby to draw up a list of four or five names. C.J. tells them that someone from DCCC (that's the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, for those of you outside the Beltway) is coming to meet to discuss campaigns for open congressional seats. She wants Josh to meet with him and then meet with Will to discuss Bingo Bob's role as a fundraiser for these folks. Toby tells C.J. that he'll take the meeting because the person who will likely come hates Josh (which seems to come as a surprise to Josh), but C.J. tells him that Josh will take the meeting. Toby seems pained by C.J.'s order. She tells him to work with the CDC on the issue of the disease outbreak in Ecuador. She goes on to remind them all that the peace plan is still vulnerable, and that they have to act especially confident, and avoid the implication that the President "is in over his head." Josh reminds her that Toby's actual words were "working without a net." Huh. I just realized that there is some woman standing behind Will. I wonder who that is?
It's at this point that Deborah Cahn gives some crack to the NBC promo monkeys. Toby stands up and tells her that six years is a long time, and that he thinks it's time he moved on. He pulls a letter of resignation out of his suit pocket. C.J. looks stunned, and Will is standing there with his mouth open so wide that my grandmother would have told him, "Close your mouth before a bug flies in." Josh tells C.J. that he doesn't want to pile on, but that he doesn't think he will really be able to work for one of his closest friends. He pulls out his own letter of resignation. Just then Jed walks in: "I don't know if I'm comfortable working this closely with a woman. I think it's time for me to call it a day, give the VP a chance to steer the ship." It takes Toby about one second to start laughing, and Josh is not far behind him. Jed tells Toby that he's weak: "You should have held it, seen if she pulled out the continuity of government plan." Toby tells them that he had a whole speech about spending more time with his kids, but he just couldn't make it. Wait, you mean Toby has kids? You wouldn't know it from any recent episodes. Will says, "On behalf of the Vice-President, and myself, and every man who's ever had a Wonder Woman fantasy, it's a bright day." There has got to be some kind of storyline coming that will explain the crap that comes out of Will's mouth. Like, maybe he has a brain tumor? Or maybe his mother took too much LSD when she was pregnant? Or maybe the real Will was replaced with a duplicate spy from some country that is completely humor-deprived? I'm just asking for something so I can stop questioning my faith in a merciful God. Because there's no way God would create someone who would say the things Will says for no reason. As everyone leaves, C.J. asks Margaret if they are behind. Margaret: "Very."
Toby and Josh walk down the hall. Carol walks up to them, and Toby asks for a list of potential Press Secretary candidates: "Pull some résumés." Carol hands him a thick file, telling him, "This is the list, these are the résumés." Josh seems awed by her efficiency, but she tells him that it's just C.J.'s "in case I get hit by a bus" file. She tells Toby that he has appointments today with the obvious top choices, and then she is called away. Josh offers to help Toby and takes half of the file, but just then Donna wheels up in her snazzy new electric wheelchair a and tells him that Speaker Haffley is in his office. Josh runs off, but then runs back and puts his half of the file in Donna's lap, telling Toby that Donna will help him with the search. As Josh runs away, Donna looks at Toby and says, "Nice briefing."
C.J.'s office. She still seems to be sitting at a table, not her desk. Margaret hands her some papers, and then says, "That was something, everyone pretending to resign." But then Margaret tells C.J. that she is actually leaving, to go work for Leo in whatever he does . And then Margaret tells her that an envoy from the Republic of Georgia is waiting in the Roosevelt Room.
C.J. enters the Roosevelt Room, where a small bald man is waiting for her. I mean, he might be average size, but since we only ever see him near C.J., it's really hard to judge. He stands up to greet her and shake her hand, and we see that he has an aluminum briefcase handcuffed to his right hand. He tells her, in his comical accent, that he is there to see Leo. He has a wooden box in his left hand, and he tells her it is a gift for Leo -- some kind of Georgian alcohol made from his own vines. He tells C.J. that he is a former economic adviser to the President of Georgia, and then asks her if she would like to taste the alcohol. She tells him that it's too early, and then gets a little look on her face. When I first saw this scene, I thought she was contemplating the idea of a little nip to help her get through the day, but it turns out that she is considering the idea of foul play. She asks him if Josh put him up to this, and he repeats that he is there on behalf of the President of Georgia, and that he has an important offer he would like to discuss with Leo. She tells him that Leo has been ill and that he will have to discuss it with her. He tells her that it is "most top secret," to which she nods her head. He tells her that the President of Georgia would like to offer to the U.S. a "gift" of highly enriched uranium. C.J.: "Uranium? Like, to make bombs?" Georgian Envoy: "We do not wish to make bombs. We give to you, you make what you want." She asks to be excused for a minute, and as she is leaving he tells her that his briefcase contains maps of where the uranium is located.
C.J. walks up to Margaret and asks if this is "a thing, like the two weeks' notice game?" Just then Josh walks by, and she asks him if he and Toby sent "Inspector Clouseau" to her. Josh asks her if the guy propositioned her. C.J.: "No, you lummox, he offered me his collection of..." Just then, C.J. realizes that this really happening, and she tells Margaret to get the National Security Adviser right away. Josh asks if there is a problem. C.J.: "I've got an emissary from the Republic of Georgia offering me a load of weapons-grade uranium. I'm going to go with yes." Commercials.
C.J. is in her office, meeting with Nancy McNally. Yay! Nancy is back. And her hair is down, with some slight honey-colored highlights. I'm not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, Anna Deavere Smith looks amazingly kick-ass with her hair up. On the other hand, just because a woman is working in some kind of high-powered government job in which she might order the bombing of a small nation, there's no reason she shouldn't look feminine if she wants to. Nancy and C.J. discuss the amount of uranium (three hundred kilograms), which Nancy says is enough to make twelve or fifteen bombs. In a funny bit of business, Margaret walks into the room and crosses behind C.J. as C.J. walks toward the door hollering for Margaret, with the result that C.J. is yelling instructions out the door to Margaret while Margaret is standing to C.J.'s desk. Again, I really like these things that are funny without anyone's feeling like they have to draw a big arrow pointing out the joke. C.J. tells Margaret to arrange a meeting with the Secretaries of State, Defense, and Energy, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and the CIA for the day. Nancy -- who is listening to something on the phone -- tells C.J. that they tried to take the uranium off the Georgians' hands in 1992, but that the Georgians didn't want to give it up then in case they needed it to build a bomb in the future. C.J. tells her that it's just sitting there "behind what he's describing as an excellent padlock." Nancy is surprised it hasn't already been stolen. C.J. asks, "The Russians don't guard this stuff?" Nancy: "They gave them the padlock." She finishes her phone call and tells C.J. that the Georgian envoy has also visited the Iranian embassy twice in the last three days. C.J. tells Margaret that the meeting needs to happen today and not tomorrow.
Toby and Donna are sitting in the Briefing Room, which is otherwise empty. They're sitting about four rows back, right in the middle of the row. Donna is sitting in one of the normal chairs, not in her wheelchair, and inquiring minds want to know exactly how she got there. Is she able to walk short distances? (Is that even possible less than two weeks after the bombing that injured her leg?) Or did Toby carry her? And if Toby did carry her, why did we not get to see that? Because I'm thinking it would fall on the humor side of the column. And by the way, can I point out that we are on the fourth episode of the season and approximately nine days have gone by. I feel like I'm recapping 24. A Press Secretary candidate walks in, and Donna introduces Toby and herself to him. He approaches the podium, and Toby asks him a question. Toby actually asks him about the U.N. role in peacekeeping, but that seems to be a flub, since his answer (and all of Toby's subsequent questions to other candidates) is about NATO. It's an unusual kind of slip for this show to make. In any case, the guy gives an incredibly long-winded and indeterminate answer. Sample sentence: "It would be premature to prejudge what the Council, in its deliberative fashion, fully appropriate to its role as a deliberative body, may or may not have pre-determined out of any zeal to determine the precise nature of those deliberations." Donna and Toby look on, slack-jawed, and then Toby leans over and whispers to Donna, "This is gonna be a long day."
C.J. runs into Charlie in the hall, who tells her that they need to do the President's schedule. She tells him that she is just on her way to see Jed, and he asks her, "You know you have a door in your office?" She ignores him and takes the schedule out of his hands. She tells him it looks fine, and he reminds her that part of her job is to be aware of everything that happens in every meeting taken by the President and to be briefed on every issue that might come up. She takes the schedule back and tells him to get briefings for her on two issues, to push one meeting back to week, and to cancel one altogether. He is pleased by her decisiveness. By this time, they are just outside the Office of O. Just as C.J. is about to walk in, Debbie gets an unscheduled call from the Secretary of Defense. Charlie tells C.J. that the Chief of Staff clears every unscheduled phone call to the President. C.J. tells Debbie to let SecDef know that he should call her office. You know, I think I won't do that again -- "SecDef" looks way too 1984. C.J. thanks Charlie, and he tells her, "Just for today. Tomorrow, you're on your own." Again, we don't necessarily need entire plotlines devoted to Charlie every episode -- but it is nice when he has lines and appears to be an important member of the President's staff.
C.J. enters the Oval and tells Jed about the situation in Georgia. She tells him that they may need to arrange an emergency extraction of the uranium to keep it out of the hands of Iran, and that she is working with the appropriate departments and hopes to have some options for him by the end of the day. Just then, Debbie tells Jed that "they" are ready for him in the Cabinet Room. Does he meet with anybody but the Cabinet in the Cabinet Room? I don't know, and wouldn't like to guess. Jed asks C.J., "You putting together a tiger team?" She's as mystified as the rest of us by that question, and isn't shy about letting him know. He tells her that to avoid having the buck passed by every department, she'll have to spearhead the project herself and pull together representatives from each appropriate department to make sure they follow through on what they need to do. And that is a tiger team. C.J.: "Sure, I'll tiger-team it. Grrrr!" Jed looks at her. "What was that?" C.J.: "Nothing."
Josh is walking through the bullpen with two guys from the DCCC. I'd call them Mutt and Jeff, but I can't remember if Jeff is the tall one or the short one. They are trying to persuade him to come work with them, but he tells them he plans to stay at the White House. As they get to his office, they thank him (and, presumably, the President) for all the help with the mid-term elections "last year," and tell him that they are starting to look ahead to "year." You know, it doesn't bother me so much that they are changing the timetable for the end of the Bartlet Administration -- this is television, and reality has to give way to things like contracts and ratings. But they should have at least found some way to explain away the missing year, and they shouldn't have major characters (like C.J. and Toby, in this episode) talks about the six years they have served the President. If the presidential election is coming year, then C.J. and Toby must have each served for about seven years. In any case, they give Josh a list of seats that are going to be opening up, and he is surprised to see Matt Santos on the list. Tall and Short say, in unison, "He's done!" But Josh thinks not -- he's only forty-two and he just got a seat on Ways and Means. Tall DCCC Guy says that Santos has said that he's had enough, but Josh wants to talk to him to try to change his mind. Short DCCC Guy points out that Wexler from Connecticut is also retiring: "Hey Josh, you're from there. You could run for his seat." Josh tells them that he already has a job.
C.J. enters Charlie's and Debbie's office, telling Charlie that she needs a minute with Jed. He once again tries to tell her that she has her own door, but she ignores him. Charlie tells her that Jed is meeting with the Secretary of Defense. C.J. is surprised, since Hutchinson did not have a meeting scheduled with Jed. Charlie tells her that he walked Jed back from the Cabinet meeting. (Which C.J. apparently attended but got pulled out of.) She repeats that he did not have a meeting scheduled, and Charlie tells her, "I thought about taking him down, but it seemed excessive." C.J. calls Margaret on the phone and asks her, "Did the Secretary of Defense call for me?" After a second, she turns away from Charlie and quietly says, "It's C.J." Margaret tells her that Hutchinson did not call her, and C.J. tells Charlie to interrupt the meeting and get Hutchinson out of the Office of O. C.J. then walks down the hall, turns around, and casually saunters past the President's office just in time to catch Hutchinson as he is leaving. She tells him that she knows the President got called away before their meeting was over, and asks him if there's anything she can do for him. He tells her that they were just discussing the Georgian situation, and that he'll see her at the upcoming meeting.
Josh walks up to Toby as he pulls his lunch out of a delivery box and asks him why Santos is not running for reelection. Toby responds with a high-falutin' rhetorical question about why anyone runs for office, eventually asking what makes a man abjure "the decadence, really, of simple bread-winning for the Athenian wrestling mat that is the forum politic." You know, if politics really did feature an Athenian wrestling mat, and if more politicians looked like Jimmy Smits, I can guarantee you that C-SPAN would get much higher ratings. Just then, Will walks up, and Josh asks him the same question. Toby says that it's because he's a tool -- Toby seems unhappy that Santos is leaving just as they got him on Ways and Means. Will thinks he might be planning to run for Governor of Texas so that he can eventually stage a run for the White House. Toby seems quite upset at the idea that Santos might run for President. Josh gives Will a list of the nineteen congressional races for which DCCC wants assistance, and tells him, "Yours are the ones with the stars." Will reminds Josh that Bingo Bob will be doing his own fundraising, so he might not be able to help in all of these races.
C.J.'s office, where C.J. is still working off a table and not her desk. Margaret is telling her that she has to review a three-hundred-page study on snowmobiles so that she can brief the President in time for his meeting with Interior tomorrow. C.J. starts asking more questions, and Margaret abruptly stands up and says, "We've now talked through the snowmobile window. You have to leave." It's time for the meeting on the Georgian uranium situation, and C.J. starts asking Margaret for some of the documents she wanted for the meeting. As she talks, Margaret tells her, "You really have to start walking now."
Margaret and C.J. run down some stairs and down a hallway while Margaret gives C.J. some information on the disease outbreak in Ecuador. Apparently, WHO is asking for $18 million in emergency aid and calling it a global health alert. By this point, they've arrived at a door. Margaret punches some numbers into a keypad, and as C.J. continues to talk about WHO and HHS, Margaret grabs her hand and presses her palm against a plate on the wall. Margaret runs off just before a Marine opens the door to the Sit Room.
C.J. enters the Sit Room and seems quite unsure of herself. She sits at the big table, where a variety of men (and Nancy) have already started talking. The dialogue flies fast and furious, but is mostly irrelevant. The gist is that none of the men at the table is interested in talking about how it will be possible to remove the uranium from Georgia; instead, they only seem to want to talk about the various expenses and obstacles to doing anything about it. C.J. eventually asks, "Are we considering leaving a stash of uranium unprotected because we can't scrape up $25 million?" When C.J. suggests that they try to work with the Russians to safeguard the material, Hutchinson says, "The President isn't interested in bringing this to the Russians." C.J. looks a bit flabbergasted at that statement. When someone else asks if they've performed an independent analysis of the material, C.J. seems at a loss, and Nancy jumps in to remind everyone that "this just walked in the door." Hutchinson goes on to ask the Secretary of Energy to get Jed a report on domestic storage capacity. When C.J. starts to say that they are not at the point, Hutchinson says that Jed asked him for it. And then Hutchinson adjourns the meeting. C.J. looks like she's been sucker-punched, and Nancy is looking at her with some concern. C.J. returns to her office, where she throws a promo-friendly miniature tantrum and shoves some papers off her table. Although I have to say, it looked to me less like she was angry and more like she had taken lessons at the Elaine Benes School of Dance. Commercials.
C.J. walks into the Sort of Elliptical Office to speak with the President about the meeting. He starts asking her for the information on the domestic storage capacity, and she tells him that she has it, but that she wanted to look it over before he saw it. She tells him that they should consider cooperating with the Russians, and he tells her that Hutchinson doesn't want to work with the Russians, and that Hutchinson said it may not even be uranium. C.J. tells Jed that they are working on getting it tested. She starts to speak with him about his meeting with Hutchinson, but Jed tells her that it ended prematurely because Charlie rushed him out to a non-existent meeting. He implies that this was some sort of scheduling snafu that she caused, and tells her that he wants to be sure nothing falls through the cracks. She gives up trying to speak to him and leaves the office.
More auditions for the Press Secretary Follies. They start with a woman who compares any nation that supports the peacekeeping initiative to a pack of lemmings. Toby asks her if she's comparing the peacekeeping mission to a suicide mission, and she says, "Not necessarily." Toby points out that the lemmings die at the end of the story, and she just gives him a look that seems to say, "Well, there you go." I found this to be utterly hilarious, and I want this woman to be my egg donor when my non-existent partner and I decide to have children. The guy responds to Toby's question by saying, "Joanne, marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world." I have to say, he seems to already be in the top one hundred on the happiness scale, although not so high on the intelligence ranking. The guy is so quiet that you can barely hear him, and after Toby asks him to speak up, he seems to get even quieter. There's a little montage of Toby and Donna saying, essentially, "Don't call us, we'll call you" to several candidates. I really think they should have gotten that giant muppet who used to pull people offstage with a hook on The Muppet Show. That would have been awesome. The guy resists a barrage of questions from Toby, appearing to answer the questions while never actually saying anything. It's such an homage to Ari Fleischer that some forum posters thought that it might actually be Ari. (And since C.J. later describes this guy as having no soul, I must assume that the likeness to Ari was deliberate.) Donna and Toby look impressed.
C.J. walks into her office just in time for Margaret to tell her that the Governor of Tennessee called to ask about whether the Georgian uranium would be stored at Oak Ridge National Laboratory. C.J. is furious about the leak, and tells Margaret to get the Governor on the phone, and to tell Nancy and the Secretary of State each to call him and tell him how important it is to keep this quiet. As Margaret goes to place the calls, Toby walks in and tells C.J. that he has found a Press Secretary. C.J. says that she thought they were going to pull together a short list, and Toby tells her that this was the only guy they met who was any good. Just then Margaret has the Governor on the phone, and C.J. has to take the call. Apparently, it was the Secretary of Energy who informed the governor about the situation. While C.J. is on the phone, Toby tries to tell her that the search for a Press Secretary is done. C.J. puts her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone and pretty much yells at Toby, "We're not done. I'd like a list, three to five names." And then, through the rest of her conversation with the Governor, she holds her finger up toward Toby in that gesture that universally means "not one step, buddy."
Josh arrives at Santos's office. As he waits in the reception area, he hears Santos debating caps on punitive damages with a couple of aides. Santos seems to be arguing both sides, and all at once he calls out to Josh and involves him in the debate. In all of this, there's a head-to-toe shot of Jimmy Smits in profile, and I have to say, the man is still looking mighty fine. I'm taking book on how many episodes it will be before we get a scene set in the locker room of the Congressional gym. I'm praying it won't be long. However, I do have to comment on Smits's accent. The character is supposed to be from Houston (where I used to live), and every once in a while I hear a touch of Texas in his speech. But at least 90% of the time he sounds exactly like he did on NYPD Blue. It's distracting. Josh just jumps in and asks him why he's not running. Santos chides him for not making small talk: "You're not going to ask me about my kids?" Josh: "How are your kids?" Santos: "They don't recognize me. 'Who's that man hugging mommy?'" Josh asks him how he can walk away, and who will work for a patients' bill of rights if he leaves. Santos tells Josh that when he was Mayor of Houston, they opened eight neighborhood health clinics that see two hundred patients a day, and that he wants to go back and open twenty more: "That's not a health-care agenda, Josh. That's health care." Josh hints that Santos is planning to run for governor, and he denies it. Santos tells him that while Josh loves the political fight, Santos himself can't stand it. Josh accuses Santos of hurting the party: "We don't have a lot of bench strength in Texas." Au contraire, mon frère. Houston itself is a very Democratic city, and I can only assume that Santos is elected from one of the safe Democratic congressional districts that includes much of the city proper. I mean, any city that sends Sheila Jackson Lee to Congress is not going to send a Republican there any time soon. Santos leaves, calling out to an aide to get Josh a copy of the talking points on the patients' bill of rights. Josh has hearts in his eyes. There should be violins playing in the background. I think that as much as everyone wants Josh and Donna to get together, it's too late -- he has a new love now.
C.J. is sitting on the couch in her office going over some papers. All of a sudden, a fish bowl appears in the bottom corner of the screen, and C.J. cries out (in an exhausted voice), "Gail." Carol has brought her over from C.J.'s old office, and sets the fishbowl down on the coffee table in front of C.J. Carol also tells C.J. that Brock is planning to write a story asking whether the administration is in over its head. She and C.J. speak about press strategy, and then C.J. walks up to Margaret's desk and asks whether Toby is in his office. Margaret tells her that she thinks so, but that she'll check. C.J. doesn't wait, however, but takes off down the hall. Margaret: "Traditionally...we call people, and they come to you." But it's too late.
Toby and Donna are going over résumés at Donna's desk. Donna says that they have other good people to see, but Toby is angry that they have to keep looking when they've already got a candidate "who is a sheet of bullet-proof glass, who's willing to throw himself in front of the press corps like the lone man facing down the tanks in Tiananmen Square." He tells Donna to arrange meetings with four more people the day, and she asks him if he thinks it's a waste of time. Indeed, Toby thinks it is "a colossal waste of time." C.J. has arrived in time to hear this last bit. She follows him into his office and tells him to speak to Brock and get him to hold the story. Toby thinks the story is nothing, but C.J. still wants him to speak to Brock. She tells him that everyone has doubts about her ability to handle foreign policy matters, and that she wants Toby to speak to Brock to delay the story. As she turns to leave, Toby tells her that it is much better for the story to run now than in a week. She turns back and says, "It wasn't a suggestion." Toby: "It was what? An order?" Yes, Toby. She's your boss now -- suck it up and get used to it. She looks at him and walks out of his office.
C.J. walks past Margaret and tells her to leave, since it's almost 8:00. C.J. throws on her own coat and tells Margaret that she'll be back, and doesn't respond to Margaret when she asks where C.J.'s going.
C.J. enters Leo's hospital room and sits to his bed. He is sleeping, and she doesn't wake him. Tears are welling up in her eyes, and she says, "I don't think this is gonna work out." But he's unconscious and has no words of wisdom for her. As she sits there, teary-eyed, we fade to commercials.
C.J. is on the couch in her office while Margaret arranges some files. They're both in new outfits, so it must be the day. C.J. says, "Lord, I never wanted a double vodka at 9 AM until this week." Margaret turns around and tells her, "They say the first step is admitting you have a problem." Can someone tell that to John Wells? C.J. asks Margaret to sit down, and then says, "I have a problem." Margaret puts her hands up in the universal sign for "slow down, sister," and says, "Wow. I may not be the right person..." But C.J.'s problem is not connected to the evils of drink. Instead, her problem is that "Hutchinson is a son of a bitch." Margaret confirms that C.J. is not the only one who thinks so, and tells her that Leo would always call Hutchinson's chief of staff first. In fact, his first calls were always sub-Cabinet: "Secretaries have agendas, policy wonks have information." C.J.: "How many policy wonks work for me?" Margaret: "A bunch." And don't forget the folks in the forums -- I'm sure they'd be glad to do some policy work for C.J. And they seem pretty wonky to me. (I live in D.C., so that's a compliment.)
Roosevelt Room. C.J. has pulled together Josh, Will, and several other unnamed policy wonks. (But no Ed and Larry.) Again, I can't resist pointing out that Will doesn't work for C.J. But I guess he's also the Chief Resident in the Radiology Department, which makes him an expert on uranium. Or whatever. Will asks where Toby is, and Josh just sputters, unable to answer. C.J. hands out information to her wonks and tells them that the Secretaries are all trying to find a way to prevent the extraction from happening: "They're the no team. You're the yes team." She tells them that she wants a viable plan for funding the extraction: "Resist the temptation to rely on the emergency non-proliferation fund. Apparently, we've already spent it."
Donna and Toby are back in the briefing room. Donna tells Toby, "I'm just saying, you knew these four were underqualified when you called them in." Toby: "He mispronounced 'New York.'" How can you do that? Did he get nervous and confuse it with Newark? I know it's supposed to indicate how profoundly stupid this guy was, but it just seems implausible. Of course, I never understood how people could confuse Providence and Provincetown, or Rhode Island and Long Island, but both of those happen a lot. Hmmm, maybe it's just that nobody knows that Rhode Island exists.
Just then, Kristin Chenoweth comes in. I know some people find her annoying -- she's short and super-perky and has that very high voice -- but I've always liked her. Donna calls her "Annabeth Scott," and Kristin corrects her -- it's Schott: "Bang, bang." When they tell her to get behind the podium, she says, "Up there? Oh, I'm not going up there. Why would I do that?" Donna tells her that it's a big part of the job, and she asks, "For a deputy?" Annabeth asks Donna if she's "the gal" she spoke with, when Toby stands up and asks her to leave, saying, "We're gonna move on to somebody who has a clearer idea of the position." It suddenly hits Annabeth that they are hiring a Press Secretary. Toby points out that C.J.'s promotion has been pretty big news, and suggests that Annabeth go home and catch up on it. Annabeth: "I've seen the news. The President is fixing to send C.J. Cregg to Ramallah to swat at suicide bombers with her purse. That's gotta be some purse." ["That's it: starting with the name and going through...everything else about her, this character is a giant shout-out to our own AB Chao." -- Wing Chun] She gives Toby a big smile, and immediately drops it when she sees the look on his face. Toby: "I never said 'fixing.'" Annabeth wonders why they're looking for a new Press Secretary so soon, and tells them that she applied for a position as Deputy Press Secretary for Media Relations, a position that opened up six months ago. She tells them that they should not hire a new Press Secretary yet, and in response to Toby's question about who will brief the press, says, "You. You need someone from inside the administration to get you through this transition period." Toby laughs, and she tells him that he just needs a little coaching, which she can provide. She also offers to perform the search for a new Press Secretary: "A real search, not some twenty-four emergency rescue mission." She asks them to name the administration's most vocal and effective critic. Donna gives a name, and Annabeth says, "When I found him, he was a bartender with half a novel. He had what you have." Toby: "What's that?" Annabeth: "A watchable quality." So does a sixteen-car pile-up, but you wouldn't necessarily want it to be your spokesperson.
C.J.'s office. Toby gives her the short list for Press Secretary, which contains two names, "a shorter list than we discussed." C.J. looks over the résumés, and is upset to see Scott Zwick on it. (He's the guy that Toby wanted to hire in the first place.) Toby: "He was good." C.J.: "He has no soul. Of course he sounded good. The man would front for the Gotti family if you asked him to." She goes on to describe Annabeth as "that little pixie from The Taylor Reid Show." She gives Toby a completely blank look when he suggests that he should continue briefing the press. Toby: "I have a quality. Look, not forever, for a few weeks until we find somebody. But not in one day, and hopefully not with me in there listening to them." He tells her that it was Annabeth's idea, and C.J. seems impressed. She asks him if Annabeth is setting herself up to replace Toby after a few weeks, and he tells her that she just came in for the media-relations job. C.J. thinks that also sounds like a good idea. She says that having Toby as "spokesman for the ship of fools [is] like a dream come true." Toby tells her that the deputies will handle most briefings, and that he'll just do the high profile stuff. C.J.: "Like this morning?" Toby: "Yes. No, a little better." She asks him if he spoke with Brock, and he tells her that Brock won't hold the story. She gets angry, but he tells her that the story is not about her. It's about people from the Defense Department telling Brock that they are not ready for the peacekeeping mission because they underestimated the cost. C.J. gets an ecstatic look on her face and says, "I looove you. Desperately." And yes, she did stretch "love" like that. She realizes that Hutchinson's trying to kill the Georgia project because Defense can't afford it and he doesn't want to admit it. She gives Toby a kiss on the cheek. Some significant portion of the forum posters swoon, while the rest shrug their shoulders. C.J. tells him that he should hire Annabeth to run the search and fill the media-relations job. Toby doesn't seem too happy with the idea. And C.J. tells him that he should conduct the briefings if he wants to: "Because I trust you, and you most certainly have a quality." Toby: "I'm watchable." C.J. tells Margaret to get the Secretaries of Defense, Energy, and State, and the Joint Chiefs, Nancy, and the CIA in the sit room right away. And then she changes the order and tells them that she wants them in her office.
C.J. walks into Debbie's and Charlie's office and tells Charlie that she needs to see Jed. Charlie gets a look on his face, takes her by the arm, and marches her back to Margaret's office. Once there, he opens a door that leads to a passage and knocks on the door at the other end. Jed calls out, "Come in," and Charlie opens the door for C.J. to walk through. You know, this places the Chief of Staff's office to the right of the Oval Office (as you face them from the hallway), but I would swear that there have been several occasions when folks walked out of Leo's office and turned to the other direction when they went to see Jed. And have we ever seen Leo use that door? Jed asks C.J. how she's doing, and she says, "Dab-fan-tastic." She asks him if he has the report on domestic storage capacity, and when he says he does, she tells him she wants it back. She thinks that it's premature for him to have any information until they have fully evaluated the situation and she has presented him with some options: "If you need something to read, I recommend the new Benjamin Franklin bio. It's a real page-turner." With that, she takes the report out of his hands and walks back through her door. Debbie walks up to Jed and asks him what just happened. Jed: "I just got spanked." Debbie: "Sorry I missed it. She still nervous?" Jed: "I don't think so, no."
Margaret tells C.J. that the various honchos are in her office. C.J. starts to walk in, and then turns back to Margaret: "You're an odd woman, and I've never quite understood you, but you are extremely capable and you run this office like a Swiss watch, and you're tall, which is reassuring. Leo may need you, and if he does, that's okay, but if he's willing to part with you, I hope you'll stay."
C.J. walks into her office and thanks everyone there for coming. Someone says that he'd rather meet with the President to discuss the issue, and she tells them all that any recommendations to Jed will flow through her office. Hutchinson goes on at some length about the fact that he thinks the only option is to secure the material where it is. C.J. tries several times to interrupt him by saying "Mr. Secretary," but it has no effect and she finally barks out, "Miles!" He stops, and she tells him that she knows that the Defense Department is already strapped due to the peacekeeping mission, and that they will find the money elsewhere, although the military will still need to carry out much of the actual work of the extraction. And then she starts to run the meeting. And for the first time in the episode, she sits in the chair behind her own desk.
Josh tells Toby that C.J. wants them upstairs. As they walk down the hall, he tells Toby about his new boyfriend...I mean, "about his meeting with Matt Santos." His new boyfriend. Toby asks him if Santos is going to keep his seat, and Josh says, "No, he's screwing us." Toby asks Josh if that's his idea of a good meeting. Yes, but that's because Santos is his new boyfriend. (Can I stress this enough? Josh is in loooooove.)
Josh and Toby enter a large room. I mean, very large, like the kind of place a formal dinner might be held. In one corner, there is a table set up with some snacks and beer. Donna tells them that C.J. wanted to be there, but that she got pulled into a meeting. She did leave a note for them, though. It reads: "J and T. Nothing without you." Just then, Will walks up and asks who is responsible for the snacks. Josh tells him, "The boss." So I guess Will thinks that Bingo Bob arranged the food. Or the Chief of Emergency Medicine. Because those are the only two people Will might actually consider to be "the boss."
C.J. walks into the Office of O (through her private door, natch), and Jed asks how the tiger team went. She tells him, "We took a vote and elected not to call it a tiger team." But beyond that, they figured out the funding issues. There are still concerns about the fallout from bringing foreign nuclear material into the U.S., not to mention the need for an environmental impact study, which could take over a year. To resolve that, they are going to ask the British if they can help by actually taking the material. C.J. tells Jed that she will arrange a call with the Prime Minister to discuss it. As she turns to leave, Jed says, "C.J., you're Chief of Staff. You can make the call." And she goes back into her office and moves Gail from the coffee table to her desk. She calls out to Margaret and asks her to set up a call for the morning to the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Margaret: "Sure. Who's going to be on the call?" C.J.: "Me." And then she turns to another stack of papers on her desk.
The episode gets an A, but Deborah Cahn gets an A+. Don't go away, Deborah.