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Recapped by Deborah · Aired 05-01-2001

Previously onThe West Wing: Leo suggested that Jed was afraid of White House Counsel Oliver Babish; Jed consulted Babish on whether he's committed fraud; Babish determined that Jed has never committed to paper any falsehoods about his health; C.J. wondered why Toby was lying to her; Charlie alerted Leo to a problem relating to Zoey's college admission paperwork, thereby revealing that he's known about Jed's MS; Jed told Leo about the paperwork, which omitted any mention of his MS.

It's 5:30 AM, and C.J. is waiting outside Babish's office. She looks tired, sad, and thoughtful. Obviously, she's been told. Babish enters, wondering whether anyone saw her come in. C.J. doesn't know, because she wasn't paying that much attention. Babish wishes she would. They enter his office. C.J. says that she walked there from her office; Babish asked whether there were any reporters around her office. She replies, "Not at five-thirty in the morning, no." Babish asks when she found out about POTUS's MS. She found out last night, when Leo told her. There was no one else there. He asks, "Have you ever lied about the President's health?" C.J., crossing her arms, wonders whether she should have her lawyer present. Babish pulls stuff out of his briefcase and says that he's her lawyer. C.J. believes that he's the President's lawyer. Babish says that he's the White House Counsel, and repeats his question. C.J. wants to know when Bartlet told Babish; it was six days ago. He told Josh two days after that, and Toby two days before he told Babish. He asks her again, but C.J. mentions that Bartlet told Leo over a year ago. Babish acknowledges this. C.J., losing a little patience, replies, "And I've had this for six hours now. So maybe giving me some room wouldn't be totally out of line. You know what I'm saying, Oliver?" Babish says he's going to have to ask her some questions: "And the less you can be pissed at the world for no particular reason, the better I think." All right, that was out of line. I hardly think she qualifies as being "pissed at the world for no particular reason." I think she's got plenty to be pissed about, not the least of which is being badgered by White House Counsel at 5:30 AM. C.J. points out that she doesn't know him, she was just told to report to him. She brings up the fact that he's been there only three months, and wonders why she should trust him. Babish declares, "Well, I don't care if you trust me or not!" She comments, "Imagine my shock." His rejoinder: "I got better things to do with my imagination." Yeesh, that line's a clunker in this context. Just didn't work at all. It comes out of nowhere and falls flat. C.J. replies, "I think this is going really well so far, Oliver. It's almost hard to believe that four different women have sued you for divorce." Babish sits down and takes his tone down a notch: "Well, you can do that if you want, C.J. I've been through it a couple of times with Josh and Toby, but sooner or later you're going to have to answer questions." He clarifies that she'll either have to answer his questions or be subpoenaed to answer a grand jury's questions. C.J. grabs a chair, saying, as she sits down, "Well, I have to tell you, it'll be the first time I've been asked out in quite a while, so..." So clearly there's something very wrong in the world when C.J. has no social life. ["Especially since I hear she's good in bed." -- Wing Chun] Babish informs her, "It's quite possible that the President has committed multiple counts of a federal crime, to which you were an accomplice." C.J. tells him that that has sunk in since she found out. Babish seems to surprised to hear it: "Then why don't you knock off the cutie-pie crap and answer the damn question?" C.J. is unfazed by Babish's hostility. She asks what the question was; Babish says, "Have you ever lied about the President's health? What is your answer?" C.J. pauses, tosses her head in a subtle, matter-of-fact way, and replies, "Many, many times." And we're into the credits. Wow, less than three pages for the opening. Yay, me.

A man in a trenchcoat sits in an armchair in a lobby area, fidgeting with the handle of his briefcase as he waits. Donna comes along and introduces herself to Mr. Connelly, going on to tell him that Josh is tied up with Leo for a few more minutes. Connelly's content to wait. As Donna walks away, she calls out to everyone within earshot, asking if anyone knows whether it's going to rain. She instructs one staffer to call the Navy Yard for her. As the staffer trots off to do Donna's bidding, Larry and Ed come up laughing and giggling over a piece of paper. They ask whether she's seen C.J.; she hasn't. Donna wonders what's so funny. Larry explains that Ed got a fax from NASA regarding a huge Chinese satellite that's going to come crashing to earth, but no one knows when or where. Donna responds, "Seriously?" But the look on her face is almost one of delight, like someone just told her that she was going to get a shopping spree at Nordstrom. But her expression changes as she reads the fax, and becomes more alarmed as Larry and Ed convince her it's for real. She wonders why they're laughing; Ed says they thought it was funny. They walk away, having successfully launched Donna on her bugbear du jour. She asks what she's supposed to do with the information; Larry says the fax was for C.J., and that Donna should give it to C.J. when she sees her. Donna looks extremely troubled. The staffer she instructed to call the Navy Yard returns to tell her that it's not supposed to rain this afternoon. Donna replies, with mild, anxiety-tinged sarcasm, "Well, that's a relief."

Leo, Toby, and Josh are having a whispery meeting in Leo's office. Toby says that they want to see some polling. Leo seems concerned: "Why?" Toby says they need to know what to do . Leo says they know. Toby says they don't know which problem is more insurmountable, but gets interrupted when Margaret comes in to give Leo a message. She's wearing her hair straight instead of in a flip, and it's a more distracting change than you'd think it would be. Her hair also looks as if it's been dyed darker, although it's hard to tell with the mood lighting in Leo's office, designed by the hot new firm, Conspiracies R Us. The hair gives her a younger, more collegiate look, but I'm not sure that's a good thing. The flip was starting to grow on me. ["It looked so little like her that I think maybe it wasn't her. They never showed her face and she never had a line so I think maybe it was just an extra." -- Wing Chun] Anyway, Leo decides to return the call later, and she leaves. Toby explains that they need to determine which perception is more problematic: that Bartlet isn't physically up to the job, or that he lied about it. Leo says that there's no way to gauge public opinion on this until it occurs, and that public opinion will be shaped by the reaction of the press. Josh says that all public opinion is shaped by the reaction of the press. Then he starts to say something about the "fundamental foundation" (redundant much?) in the public perception, but Leo interjects to ask just how they're going to take a poll without giving away the entire game. He doesn't trust any of their people: "And even if I did, what kind of questions could they ask that won't trip an alarm?" Toby says that Josh trusts Joey Lucas. Josh says that she's flying in from California right now. Leo's slightly alarmed: "What did you tell her?" Josh: "I told her we were commissioning a poll to explore attitudes toward subsurface agricultural products." Leo gets that boll-weevil- in-my- egg-salad look and asks, "What the hell..." Josh quasi-explains, "We think Americans are eating more beets." Leo: "Beets?" He decides it's okay. Leo wants to talk about when they're going to tell Sam. Toby doesn't want to do it right now, because Sam is hard at work on the SME speech for Chicago. Josh kind of objects, and I imagine he feels bad that Sam still doesn't know, not only because he's the sort of guy who doesn't actually like to feel part of an elite, but also because he's probably dying to discuss it with his good friend Sam. Toby points out that Sam's mind is on the speech, where they need it, and asks Josh if he would want to write the speech with "this other thing around [his] neck." Josh wouldn't. POTUS wants Sam to know by the end of the day. Toby agrees. The meeting ends.

In the hall, Toby asks when Joey Lucas is getting there; Josh says six o'clock. Toby tells him, "You do this carefully." Josh: "No kidding." Toby asks, "You trust this person?" Josh replies, "I gotta trust somebody right now." Toby: "Good, 'cause I don't trust anybody right now." He walks away, at which point Donna catches up with Josh. She gives him all the details on the Chinese satellite falling out of its orbit. Josh asks, "What are you telling me for?" Donna babbles anxiously for a bit, and asks whether they don't sound the alarm of something. Josh: "Sound the alarm?" Donna, disillusioned yet again in the course of her government career: "There is no alarm." Josh: "There's really not." Josh goes over to where Mr. Connelly has been waiting patiently. He calls him "Martin," apologizes for keeping him waiting, and invites him to come back to his office. Donna's still anxiously buzzing around him; Josh casually tells her to give the fax to the Press Office. She says that the deputies are at breakfast and that she doesn't know where C.J. is. Josh tells her that C.J.'s meeting with Babish and that he'll be in his office. Donna pouts, "You're not concerned about this?" Josh breezes into his office, saying, "No."

In his office, Josh apologizes to Martin again for the wait. Josh's pager goes off, as Martin says that he assumes Josh knows why he's there. Josh doesn't. Martin says that Mac Sheridan was supposed to talk to Josh first. Josh gestures with his pager, saying that he has a call to return to Mac. Martin says that he should wait until they talk. Josh suggests that Martin just talk to him right now. Martin says that the case is running out of money. Josh can't believe it. He points out they spent $13 million the first year, and $23 million the second year: "Where's the money going?" Martin replies, "Outside counsel and staff, depositions, expert witnesses, processing, database, research...we have thirty-one lawyers on a case against five tobacco companies, just one of which has 342 [lawyers]. We won't count the thirteen subsidiaries that have mounted their own defense. Tobacco has spent 380 million to the government's thirty-six. So when I come here asking for money, it's not 'cause the Justice Department blew its allowance on videogames!" Josh listens to all this with a serious but seemingly unsympathetic look. Martin says that he should have let Mac talk to him first. Josh inquires, "Aren't you allowed to transfer funds..." Martin interjects that they have been doing that, transferring money from Commerce and from Health and Human Services to pay for the lawsuit: "But then the House passed HR-260, and now the Committees...you understand?" Josh gets it. He's going to run it by Leo. Martin says, as he gets up to leave, "This is a fight worth winning." Josh: "You don't have to convince me." Me either. Big Tobacco Companies are my villains of choice. ["As we were watching this, Glark said he wonders why there aren't micro-cigarette producers, like micro-breweries, that are collectively known as Little Tobacco. I think that would be cute." -- Wing Chun] Martin continues, "These people perpetrated a fraud against the public." Josh, absently: "I'm sorry?" Martin repeats himself. Josh looks concerned: "The tobacco companies?" Martin says, "Yeah!" Josh says he'll talk to Leo. Martin thanks him and leaves. The expression on Josh's face is pensive.

By Deborah

At the door, the woman asks Sam, "Ready for some good news?" He is. The man says, "Not out here." They move to Sam's office; as they're walking, the woman says in a pleased tone, "This is going to be a front-page story tomorrow." Sam's not too keen on the fact that there's a front-page story for tomorrow that he doesn't already know about. As Sam closes the door, she says, "CBO's going to issue a new estimate of the surplus." Sam asks with delight, "They're projecting it down? We don't have as much money as we thought?" They're all really happy about that. Sam says it's great news: "It's not great news that we have less money, I'm saying...'cause the floor fight's going to be easier." Both staffers agree. Sam asks how much less. Eight years out, it's $200 billion less; nine years out, it's $400 billion less. Sam repeats that it's great, although it's not great that they have less money.....The woman says that they get why it's great. Sam says that they can't imagine how much this helps him with the speech he's drafting. The woman says that's why they're telling him: "There's a line that ATJ and the Progressive Caucus want in the speech..." The man hands him a document. Sam reads: "'We want a real tax cut for working families to help them pay for higher education and housing, while our opponents want to help the rich pay for bigger swimming pools and faster private jets.' No, I don't think so." The woman objects: "They want it in." Sam says no. The woman wants to know why not; Sam says, "Well, for one thing, it's very bad writing." ["So true. It's embarrassing." -- Wing Chun] The man suggests changing it to "summer homes and sports cars." Sam says that the poetry is not his problem. The man says that they want it in Chicago. Sam replies, "Well, tell them to do their own speech. This one's for the President." The man asks whether Sam wants to tell them that. Sam says no. The man says okay. Sam says, "We have less money?" The man says, "Isn't that great?" Sam sure thinks so. The staffers leave.

Back in Babish's office, Oliver asks C.J. whether she was aware that, in January of last year, Bartlet had an attack. Her arms are still crossed. She says that she is now. Babish establishes that she was there when he had the attack, but that she was outside the room, and that when she went in, he was unconscious. She says she went in because she heard a glass pitcher breaking. Babish wants to know what she thought had happened. C.J. replies, carefully controlling the sarcasm in her voice, and as Oliver interjects humourless "yeahs" at appropriate intervals, "Well, at first glance I thought he might have a virus, contracted from a rare African tse-tse fly, possibly tropical sprue. I'm not an expert, but I did meet a man once in India...it could be anything with these Presidents. James Polk had diverticulitis. Couldn't digest nuts. I'll tell you what else: One in forty American men wear [sic] women's clothing, and we've had well over forty Presidents. I'm just saying, one of these guys was dancing around the Oval Office in a prom dress. Now let's get to the bottom of that." My money's on Taft or Coolidge. Wait, didn't we already establish that Hoover was a transvestite? Nope, sorry, my bad. That was J. Edgar, not Herbert. Anyway, Babish says: "C.J.? In my entire life I've never found anything charming." Well, what a sterile, arid existence that must be. Maybe that explains your four divorces, buddy. I'm just saying. C.J. seems mildly chagrined to learn this: "Really?" I still think that C.J. will win him over. I'm liking Oliver Platt less in this episode than last, and not just because he's picking on C.J. I know this must be excruciating for Wing, since she hates him. ["I help the time to pass more quickly during his scenes by making mean jokes about his appearance. I'm a very small person in many ways." -- Wing Chun] Babish says, "You announced to the press it was the flu. Who told you to say it was the flu?" C.J. says she wasn't told to say that, she was told it was the flu. Babish presses her, and she snaps, "I'm not getting into that! I'm not getting into who said what. We can do that at the of what I'm sure will be many sessions." Babish lets it go. Casually, he asks, "Do you know what time it is?" I know where he's going with this; I've seen this exact scenario on some other show. ["No kidding. That one was in Birth of a Nation, for heaven's sake." -- Wing Chun] She glances at a clock and says, "It's five past noon." Oh my God -- she's been with him for almost seven hours? That seems like cruel and unusual punishment. ["Except for the 'seems' part." -- Wing Chun] Babish says, "I'd like you to get out of the habit of doing that." C.J. asks, "Doing what?" Babish: "Answering more than was asked. Do you know what time it is?" C.J. stares at him, and after a brief pause, responds with annoyed resignation, "Yes." He suggest that they take a break. No argument from C.J. Or me.

Sam wanders into the Mess. He greets Toby, who's reading a positive review of a commencement speech they wrote. Toby tells Sam that the reviewer, Maynard Wachtel, called them the "Batman and Robin of speechwriting." Hee! Toby seems to enjoy that more than I would have thought. Sam says, "Well, I don't think he does..." Toby agrees that he doesn't, but he should: "Because that's what we are." Sam: "Okay." Toby, with some pastry in his mouth: "We're Batman and Robin!" Sam: "Which one's which?" Toby: "Look at me, Sam. Am I Robin?" He's really not. Sam objects, "I'm not Robin." You so are, Sam. Toby: "Yes, you are." Sam: "Okay, well, let's move off this." Toby's in a much more jovial mood than one would expect. As they start walking, Toby says, "You bet, little friend." Sam pleads, "We're really not Batman and Robin." Toby suggests, "No, we'll keep those identities secret. I'm Bruce Wayne, and you're my ward, Dick something." Sam's had enough of that: "Jane Gentry and Richard Will came to see me with some news." He tells Toby about the adjustments in the CBO projections. Toby thinks that's fantastic news, and asks when it's "real." Sam says it will be this afternoon. Toby claims to be so happy he could spit. Sam thinks this is probably the first administration in history to get behind slower economic growth. Toby says he favours it when it gives them a "bat and ball on tax cuts." Toby mumbles some economic mumbo jumbo and says that they'll stand their ground on no tax cut in the top bracket, to which Sam adds that it turns out that they might not be able to afford it. They're both very happy about that. Sam: "Yeah, it's Christmas in Paris. But there's a line ATJ and the Progressive Caucus want me to put in the draft for Chicago." They discuss the line; Toby tells Sam to change the writing, but Sam says it's not the writing. Toby knows. He then starts to say something to Sam: "Listen..." but changes his mind. I get the feeling he wanted to say something to prepare Sam for what's coming later, but what can he tell him, anyway? Toby says to forget it, and tells Sam to talk to somebody at ATJ or the Caucus. Toby leaves for a meeting.

Chicken Little comes over to Charlie's desk. She starts to peck for grubs and insects. No, not really. Charlie asks whether there's anything she needs; she says she just came to say hi. He's polite, but keeps going about his business. Of course it's not two seconds before she launches into the satellite thing; he responds, "Cool." Donna's upset: "No, it's not! What's the matter with you people? A thing the size of a garbage truck is going to be in a two-thousand-mile-an-hour free fall and no one knows where it's going to hit!" Charlie says something about voting for Zurich, and that he's "had it up to here with the Swiss." Hee. ["Glark and I both started cracking up at that line because it reminded us of an old Kids in the Hall skit. I half expected Charlie to add, 'Got a problem with that, Belgium?'" -- Wing Chun] Donna continues trying to impress upon Charlie the urgency of her mission, but Charlie reads some piece of paper on his desk and excuses himself. Donna sighs and leaves.

Outside the White House, the First Lady is getting out of her limo, attended by a gaggle of assistants and staff. Among them is Abby's secretary, Lily, who starts running down Abby's schedule. Abby compliments a staffer named Bobby on his snappy suit, and in answer to a question from another staffer about her trip, mentions that she had a medevac helicopter named after her: "I got to break a bottle of cider over its nose." Abby runs into Charlie, who's been waiting for her. He welcomes her back and tells her the President is waiting for her inside the Oval Office.

Abby enters the office; Jed walks over to her, saying "Welcome back." I figure they'll give each other at least a perfunctory kiss, but no. Abby commences, "How come I just found out about this?" He asks how the flight was. She ignores that question and reiterates hers. Jed explains, "When Leo talked to you on the plane, he thought you already knew." Abby starts pacing: "You think I'm saying this is Leo's fault? I'm asking how come you didn't tell me last week?" Jed replies, "And I'm saying, we still do this. We're husband and wife, and parents, and before we launch into palace intrigue, we do, 'Welcome back. How was the flight?'" She asks, "What happened?" Jed explains that one of Zoey's college admission forms asked for a family medical history, and asks whether Leo told her the rest. Pretty disdainfully, Abby says, "Not after he realized you hadn't told me already! Which is a subject, I assure you, we will be returning to in a moment." He tells her that a parent had to sign Zoey's form. She asks if he signed it. Jed: "No, you did, Hot Pants." Sweet Knees and Hot Pants. Could these two be any cornier? Abby's alarmed: "I signed it?" He says it's going to be okay. Abby: "Why didn't you tell me this on the phone?" Through gritted teeth, she adds, "We talk on the phone three times a day!" He explodes: "'Cause I didn't! 'Cause that's..." He remembers where he is and lowers his voice. "'Cause I didn't!" He sighs and Abby slowly sits down, staring sadly ahead. Jed says, "I talked to Zoey this morning. She's gonna to ace her finals." Abby: "She told me." Jed: "I hate Ellie's boyfriend." Abby, looking up at Jed, who's not looking at her: "She told me." Jed slowly and uncomfortably meets her gaze, saying, "I need you to speak to the White House Counsel." She knows.

After the commercials, Leo wanders up to Josh, who is waiting for him. They go into Leo's office; Leo tells Josh he told Abby about the problem with Zoey's application without realizing that the President hadn't told her yet. Josh asks why the President hadn't told her. Leo: "What do you want from me?" Josh says he wants $30 million. Leo says no. Josh tells him why, and Leo complains, "They're always out of money." Josh says the White House doesn't give them enough. Leo asks about the money they're supposed to be able to transfer from other departments; Josh explains that since they passed that law, the transfers are subject to approval by Committees, all of which are headed by politicians that Big Tobacco helped to elect. Josh also points out that even if every transfer was approved, it wouldn't matter, because $12 million isn't going to get it done. Leo: "Neither is thirty million." Josh suggests giving them more. Leo says no, because they're going to lose. Josh: "So you give them enough to win." Leo: "We'd have to liquidate the Grand Tetons." Josh thinks it's a steal at twice the price. Leo tells Josh to staff it out and report back to him in two or three days. Josh gets up and says he's going out to the airport. Leo looks up from his phone messages and says, "All right. Do a job." Josh sighs, "Yeah."

By Deborah

At the airport, Joey arrives with some other interpreter. She's two-timing Kenny, I see. Josh calls out to her, catching the interpreter's attention. He touches Joey on the shoulder to direct her attention to Josh. They meet up, and Joey is all smiles at the sight of Josh. Marlee Matlin has a particularly beautiful smile, so it's nice to see it often. Josh seem slightly discombobulated by the new interpreter, who introduces himself as Dale Bracket. Josh learns that Kenny's on vacation. Joey seems almost gleeful at the thought that Josh came to pick her up at the airport. Josh says that's not it, exactly, and that he wants Dale to wait by himself for a while; Josh explains that Joey's going to read his lips, and if he can't understand what she's saying, she'll write it down. Dale signs all this for her. Joey looks slightly puzzled but completely agreeable. As they walk away from Dale, Josh says, "Pretty good-looking for an interpreter." As a matter of fact, he's not too hard on the eyes. Josh seems mildly threatened. Joey says, "He's good-looking for anybody." Burn! Josh: "Dale Bracket? He's not a television detective?" Joey wonders why they can't talk in the car. Josh says she's not getting in the car; she's getting back on the plane in an hour and ten minutes.

Josh and Joey sit down at a table in a kind of food court area. Seems like a fairly risky place to have this conversation, but I'm not a professional political operative like Josh. Josh asks, "Okay, if we sit like this, can Dale Bracket, PI, read my lips?" Joey looks slightly dismayed and annoyed with Josh's paranoia, and says, "No." Marlee Matlin looks very different; I think it's because she's wearing much less eye makeup than usual. Josh tells her that she's not there to discuss an agriculture poll. Joey: "No kidding." Josh seems surprised that she guessed that. Joey asks, "You think we're eating more beets?" Josh replies, "Well, we are, but...that's not important." Just then a waiter comes up; Josh orders cranberry juice and club soda for Joey, and a large glass of ice water for himself. Since when do food courts have waiters? This is some swanky airport. You can see the waiter's thinking, "Oh yeah, big tip on this table. This must be my lucky day." While Josh is giving the order, Joey's scribbling a note on a napkin: "What's important?" Josh says that he told Leo they could trust her, and that Toby backed him up. Joey's still waiting for him to cut to the chase. Finally he does: "Eight years ago, the President was diagnosed with an illness that was never disclosed." Joey takes this in stride and writes, "Is it serious?" Josh softly says, "Yes." She asks what it is. Josh carefully signs the letters "M" and "S" (and sadly, it makes no difference that I know the ASL alphabet, because any fool could guess what he signed). You'll remember that he was trying to learn some sign language around the time he met Joey in L.A.; I wonder if he recalled this or had to look it up again before coming to the airport. Joey looks sad as the waiter arrives with their beverages.

The staffer I'm calling Nicole shows FLOTUS into Babish's office. She says she hasn't been in his office since he started, and that it looks great. She's pacing nervously as she adds, "I haven't come in here because it seems that every time I do, there's a new White House Counsel. I think Leo keeps them in the basement, like those two ladies in Arsenic and Old Lace." She says that POTUS is very glad Babish is there, "particularly in this time of nonsense." Babish would like to ask her some questions. She nervously babbles about not being as experienced in this as the senior staff is, and that she's read about Daniel Webster and Benjamin Disraeli: "It seems the little experience I do have is with dead lawyers." Babish says, "Just out of curiosity, ma'am, how'd they die?" Abby replies, "If you're under the impression that you're the fifth White House Counsel instead of the first White House Counsel because of me, you're mistaken, Oliver." He wasn't under that impression; he just wants to get down to business. She knows he wants to ask her about Zoey's form. She says that it was just a form -- one of many forms -- it was left blank, and she signed it without reading it. Always a good policy. He asks whether anyone else was in the room when she signed it. She doesn't remember, of course; it was over a year ago. He asks whether POTUS was in the room. Hey, buddy, what part of "I don't remember" don't you understand? He points out that when he asks the President that question, he's going to tell the truth. Abby replies, "And I imagine that the President will also resent your implication that I didn't just do the same." She insists again that neither of them remember if Jed was in the room. She points out that Oliver has kids, and mentions some of the dozens of forms that always have to be signed. Oliver says, "Their mother usually signs them." Yeah, that's probably because your various ex-wives have primary custody of your children. Abby points out that there are a lot more forms when the kid's father is the governor of New Hampshire or the President of the United States. Oliver says he understands: "But a lawyer half my size, while cross-examining you during deposition, will say the following, he will say: 'Mrs. Bartlet, do you have an M.D. from Harvard?'" ["Well, he's right about the 'half [his] size' part, for sure." -- Wing Chun] Abby says yes to that and to the five questions that Oliver fires at her: "'Are you board-certified in Internal Medicine? Are you board-certified in Thoracic Surgery? Are you an Adjunct Professor of Thoracic Surgery at Harvard Medical School? Are you on the staff of Boston Mercy Hospital and Columbia Presbyterian? Have you been practising medicine for twenty-six years?'" He then asks, "Do you not find it just a tad insulting that as the wife of President Jed Bartlet, you now get to be referred to as Mrs. Bartlet, instead of Dr. Bartlet, despite your numerous and significant achievements as a physician and surgeon?" Abby says, "You're damn right." Well, actually, Oliver continues the mock cross-examination: "Are you not able to recognize a standard medical history form when it is put in front of your face?" She protests, "I didn't read it! I didn't think it was important." Oliver: "'What else have you signed without thinking it was important? Prescriptions?" Abby: "No!" Oliver: "'Patient instructions?'" Abby: "No!" Oliver: "'So it was just this?'" Abby says that she's not a neurological expert, but that she knows MS in not hereditary, and that POTUS's condition has no relevance to Zoey's health. Oliver states that now she's changing her story: "Did you sign it because you were absent-minded or did you sign it because you knew best?" She replies, "I signed it because...I just signed it. It was a form. And I think making a big thing out of it is what makes it into a big thing!" Oliver: "Really." Abby: "And I'm not one hundred percent sure that that's not what you're going for." Oliver wonders why he'd want to do that; Abby points out that defending the President in such a high-profile case looks pretty good on a résumé. He replies, "Well, I've got a pretty good-looking résumé already, Mrs. Bartlet. And it's not a big thing because I say so, ma'am; it's a big thing. You're going to get all the questions I just asked you, and quite a few more. And then they're going to ask the President if he was in the room when you signed it. And that's when he's going to give everyone's favourite answer from a President who has just announced he has MS: 'I don't remember.'" He lets that sink into Abby for a moment, and then asks when they're going public. She's not sure; about a week, she thinks. She says they're still strategizing. Oliver figures there'll probably be a live interview on the networks. She agrees. He kind of spins out the potential scenario, citing the names of interviewers, the phrases the President might say: "'I regret that I concealed my condition from the public. I regret the appearance that I tried to deceive the voters in order to win an election.'" Abby thinks that's more or less how it will go. Oliver says, "And if we don't make it a big thing, they won't make it a big thing? Mrs. Bartlet, I'm not sure you have an appropriate appreciation for the size of what happens ." From the look on her face as we go to commercial, I'd say she's just starting to get it.

Back at the airport, Joey asks Josh when they're going public. Josh tells her it'll be in about a week. She wants to know how they're going to do it; Josh tells her it will probably be a live interview followed by a press conference: "Joey, we need you to put a poll in the field. You gotta come up with a model that gets us the answers we need without asking the questions we can't ask. You gotta come up with the model by yourself; you gotta break down the results by yourself. Not even the callers can understand the questions they're asking. And you gotta do it all in ninety-six hours. Is what I'm describing possible?" Joey nods, more with her eyes than her head. Joey suggests making the subject the governor of an industrial state, such as Michigan. Josh asks, "And you give him a degenerative illness?" Joey nods wisely. Josh mentions that before this is over, they'll probably all be called before the grand jury. Joey half-nods, half-shrugs. Josh says, "You can do this?" She replies, "No problem." Her flight is being called. Joey asks how the President is. Josh is putting something in his pocket as he responds, and his chin is down near his chest as he says, "He's fine." ["Good for her for asking. That's more than Toby did, the big goof." -- Wing Chun] Joey reaches across the table and gently lifts Josh's chin so that she can see his lips. Josh repeats, "He's fine. I'll tell him you asked." Joey still looks kind of sad as she gathers up her tickets: "Ninety-six hours?" Josh: "Yeah." She says, "I have to go to work now." She walks away; Josh takes the napkin they've been writing on and drowns it in his water glass.

By Deborah

Sam arrives at a meeting in a very elegant room, greeting Henry, Helen, Bruce, and Lewis. That's not everybody, just the ones he mentions by name. He says they just have a few minutes. One guy says, "There's a caucus." Sam tells them the good news about the CBO projections. Sam still thinks there's something wrong with all of them, but lets it go. He brings up the "jet planes and swimming pools" line that they want in the Chicago draft. One guy seems especially pleased with that leaden bit of rhetoric. One of the women -- let's say Helen -- chimes in, "Yeah, hit 'em hard." Sam says they are hitting them hard, but that he's not going to use the line, because it sounds like it was written by a high-school girl. Helen asks, "Is there something wrong with the way a woman writes?" Sam: "There usually is when she's in high school." Henry says, "Sam!" Sam says, "It's not the writing. Come on, Henry. 'Faster private jets and swimming pools'?" Henry says that they can take out the big bats now. Sam asks, "And do what with them?" Helen insists that the line works. Sam: "So does 'How about dem Cowboys?' when you're playing a club in Dallas, but the line isn't going to change the mind of anyone who doesn't already agree with us." Henry asks whether Sam is in favour of tax cuts for the wealthy. Sam says he's not, and that he favours tax cuts for those for whom they will do the most good: "But I'm not talking about policy, I'm talking about rhetoric, and the men you work for need to dial it down to five." A couple of caucus members exchange glances. Sam continues, "Henry; last fall, every time your boss got on the stump, and said, 'It's time for the rich to pay their fair share,' I hid under a couch and changed my name. I left Gage Whitney making $400,000 a year, which means I paid twenty-seven times the national average in income tax. I paid my fair share, and the fair share of twenty-six other people. And, I'm happy to, 'cause that's the only way it's gonna work, and it's in my best interest that everybody be able to go to schools and drive on roads, but I don't get twenty-seven votes on election day. The fire department doesn't come to my house twenty-seven times faster and the water doesn't come out of my faucet twenty-seven times hotter. The top one percent of wage earners in this country pay for twenty-two percent of this country. Let's not call them names while they're doing it, is all I'm saying." Okay, that may be, but now we know he's sleeping with Ainsley. Helen says: "You're not using the line?" Sam: "No." Helen: "Or anything like it?" Sam hopes they'll make it clear to their people that this has nothing to do with "diluting their position or cozying up to Republicans." Whatever you say, Robin. Henry says sarcastically, "No, why would they think that?" Another guy says they've got a caucus, and the meeting breaks up. As it does, Sam says, "I know plenty of women who can write, Helen. I know women who can blow the walls of brick buildings. This sounds like a girl." Helen doesn't say anything as she leaves.

Josh comes to Leo's office to tell him Joey's plan for the poll. Leo seems satisfied with that. Josh goes back to the Justice Department's request for money; Leo asks, "Are you going to do a report?" Josh says that he is. Leo requests that he be able to read the report before Josh asks him to "greenlight another multimillion-dollar battle that'll have no support in Congress." Josh says yeah. The reason Josh brought it up is because of the look on Martin Connelly's face this morning, when he made his remark about the fraud perpetrated by the tobacco companies: "They want to get these people." Josh looks kind of scared. Leo firmly says, "We're not big tobacco." He adds that POTUS is expecting him.

Leo goes through his door to the Oval Office, where Jed is writing at his desk. Jed wearily says, "Leo...how could you tell Abby about the health form before I did?" Leo, of course, thought he'd already told her. Jed calmly says, "My wife and I are fighting battles on several fronts right now, including one with each other. Can you and I be men? Can we have a bond?" Leo seems mildly bewildered and doesn't really respond. He tells Jed about the poll. Jed remembers Joey Lucas. Leo tells them they're going to give MS to the governor of Michigan. Jed wonders how the governor of Michigan feels about that; Leo tells him not to worry about it. Jed says, waving his finger in warning, "This is a bad idea." I have to agree. "I'm coming clean, I'm doing it voluntarily. Anyone finds out, it's going to look like I did it 'cause a poll told me to." Leo says it would be a good idea if no one found out. Yeah, like that'll happen. Jed acquiesces. He asks Leo to get Sam.

Toby's opening up a document in his office when Sam appears to tell him that he thinks he may have offended some members of Americans for Tax Justice and the Progressive Caucus. Toby: "You think you may have offended them?" Sam: "Yeah. And girls, possibly." Toby: "Were you right?" Sam says he was, and starts to explain, but Toby sees Leo coming and assures Sam, "That's all you need to tell me. I trust you." Seems like Toby's trying to build Sam up a bit before he hears the news. Leo asks Sam to come see the President. Toby tells Sam what he told C.J.: "I'll be here in the office when you're done." For a moment I think we're going to get to see Sam learn about the situation, but no such luck. I imagine there's widespread disappointment that we don't see the initial reactions of Sam, Josh, or C.J. to the news. But hey, it's a big story and a short show and there's a lot to do. Toby goes back to his reading.

Outside on the street, Josh runs to catch up with C.J. It's a windy night. He mentions his meeting with Joey Lucas, about which C.J. already knew. Josh says that the President has Leo worried that it's going to look like they announced it because they took a poll. He asks C.J. what she thinks. She starts to laugh; the laugh is a mixture of helplessness and hysteria. Bear in mind, I'll bet she was up all night, and given that she was probably at work early the day before, and that it's pretty late now, she's probably been up for at least thirty-six hours, if not more, and was being bitch-slapped by Babish for a good portion of those. I'd be pretty punchy myself. Josh is puzzled. She stops walking, and asks, "The President and Leo are worried about that?" Josh is all, "Yeah. What?" It strikes me that they could be having this conversation in a more discreet location than a busy street. C.J. collects herself and says, "You guys are like Butch and Sundance peering over the edge of a cliff to the boulder-filled rapids 350 feet below, thinking you better not jump 'cause there's a chance you might drown. The President has this disease and has been lying about it. And you guys are worried that the polling might make us look bad? It's the fall that's gonna kill you." (Pre-emptive note for forum nitpicking: I believe the actual quotation is "The fall'll probably kill you!" But you know, it's close enough, and in reality, people rarely get quotations right. ["According to the IMDb, Deborah's right." -- Wing Chun]) She collapses into laughter again. When she stops, Josh says, "'Us.'" C.J.: "What?" Josh: "You said, 'It's the fall that's gonna kill you.' You meant 'us.'" She starts to walk away and Josh asks where she's going. She says she's going home; she knows what Josh meant, and she just wants to sleep for a while. Josh walks and catches up to her again, and mentions the fax about the Chinese satellite. C.J. says they get faxes once a week about stuff falling out of the sky. Josh points out that Donna doesn't know that, and that she thinks it's an emergency. He didn't tell her because he gets a day's worth of entertainment out of it. How very grade-school. Too bad it wasn't actually more entertaining. Josh mentions that stuff falls out of the sky once every ten days on average, and that ever since the first year they started putting stuff up there, 17,000 objects have come back: "And remarkably, not one person has been hit. So I suppose there's an argument to be made that we're due." C.J.: "Yeah. You picked me right up there, Josh." She walks away. He calls out, "See you tomorrow." She keeps walking, into the wind.

By Deborah

Are you board-certified in Thoracic Surgery? Are you an Adjunct Professor of Thoracic Surgery at Harvard Medical School? Are you on the staff of Boston Mercy Hospital and Columbia Presbyterian? Have you been practising medicine for twenty-six years?'" He then asks, "Do you not find it just a tad insulting that as the wife of President Jed Bartlet, you now get to be referred to as Mrs. Bartlet, instead of Dr. Bartlet, despite your numerous and significant achievements as a physician and surgeon?" Abby says, "You're damn right." Well, actually, Oliver continues the mock cross-examination: "Are you not able to recognize a standard medical history form when it is put in front of your face?" She protests, "I didn't read it! I didn't think it was important." Oliver: "'What else have you signed without thinking it was important? Prescriptions?" Abby: "No!" Oliver: "'Patient instructions?'" Abby: "No!" Oliver: "'So it was just this?'" Abby says that she's not a neurological expert, but that she knows MS in not hereditary, and that POTUS's condition has no relevance to Zoey's health. Oliver states that now she's changing her story: "Did you sign it because you were absent-minded or did you sign it because you knew best?" She replies, "I signed it because...I just signed it. It was a form. And I think making a big thing out of it is what makes it into a big thing!" Oliver: "Really." Abby: "And I'm not one hundred percent sure that that's not what you're going for." Oliver wonders why he'd want to do that; Abby points out that defending the President in such a high-profile case looks pretty good on a résumé. He replies, "Well, I've got a pretty good-looking résumé already, Mrs. Bartlet. And it's not a big thing because I say so, ma'am; it's a big thing. You're going to get all the questions I just asked you, and quite a few more. And then they're going to ask the President if he was in the room when you signed it. And that's when he's going to give everyone's favourite answer from a President who has just announced he has MS: 'I don't remember.'" He lets that sink into Abby for a moment, and then asks when they're going public. She's not sure; about a week, she thinks. She says they're still strategizing. Oliver figures there'll probably be a live interview on the networks. She agrees. He kind of spins out the potential scenario, citing the names of interviewers, the phrases the President might say: "'I regret that I concealed my condition from the public. I regret the appearance that I tried to deceive the voters in order to win an election.'" Abby thinks that's more or less how it will go. Oliver says, "And if we don't make it a big thing, they won't make it a big thing? Mrs. Bartlet, I'm not sure you have an appropriate appreciation for the size of what happens ." From the look on her face as we go to commercial, I'd say she's just starting to get it.

By Deborah

Chicken Little's blathering on again to Charlie about the satellite. As they walk down the hallway and Chicken Little continues her paranoid nattering, Charlie casually mentions that the satellite could contain plutonium. She agrees and starts to breeze away, but then returns to verify this with Charlie. He admits that nuclear reactors on a satellite aren't that common, "but you never know." Chicken Little has to agree with that. As she walks off, she runs into Abby, who greets her. Donna welcomes her back. Abby asks her how she is; Donna replies, "I'm fine, but there's a giant object hurtling its way toward us at a devastating velocity." Abby: "Tell me about it." ["Yeah, and it's called Oliver Platt. Look out!" -- Wing Chun]

By Deborah

Donna wanders off as Abby reaches C.J.'s office and asks to speak to her for a second. Abby closes the door and sits on C.J.'s sofa. Abby says, knowing the answer, "How was your day?" C.J., looking fairly tired and badgered, says, "Well, I got pretty well bitch-slapped by the White House Counsel, ma'am. How about you?" C.J. looks down. Abby says that she wanted to be here when C.J. was told, and that she didn't know they were going to tell her last night. C.J. says that she had been talking to Toby when Leo called her in, and that Toby told her that he's be in his office when she was finished; she had no idea why Toby was telling her that. C.J. mentions what Babish told her about the difference between "need to know" and "should know." It seems, as she's trying to get the words out, almost as if she's close to breaking down. But she doesn't. Abby says that he's just a lawyer, doing his job. C.J. told him that she couldn't remember. Abby says there were a lot of things she couldn't remember. You can tell there's a lot weighing on C.J. C.J. asks Abby about a time during the campaign when they were in Manhattan, Kansas, and she came to Jed and Abby's hotel room early to tell them about an interview they were doing that night: "And I think by then, the two of you were so used to people walking in and out of your room that you didn't hear me open the door. And I was almost sure I saw you giving the President an injection of something." Abby replies, "It was Betaseron. It reduces the frequency of the attacks." C.J. puts her hand up to push the hair away from each side of her face. "When the President has his physical, and I do the release, I only ever ask, 'Is there anything else I need to know?'" I guess she remembered. Abby nods; her eyes look very moist. C.J. sighs and looks away.

By Deborah

He asks C.J. what she thinks. She starts to laugh; the laugh is a mixture of helplessness and hysteria. Bear in mind, I'll bet she was up all night, and given that she was probably at work early the day before, and that it's pretty late now, she's probably been up for at least thirty-six hours, if not more, and was being bitch-slapped by Babish for a good portion of those. I'd be pretty punchy myself. Josh is puzzled. She stops walking, and asks, "The President and Leo are worried about that?" Josh is all, "Yeah. What?" It strikes me that they could be having this conversation in a more discreet location than a busy street. C.J. collects herself and says, "You guys are like Butch and Sundance peering over the edge of a cliff to the boulder-filled rapids 350 feet below, thinking you better not jump 'cause there's a chance you might drown. The President has this disease and has been lying about it. And you guys are worried that the polling might make us look bad? It's the fall that's gonna kill you." (Pre-emptive note for forum nitpicking: I believe the actual quotation is "The fall'll probably kill you!" But you know, it's close enough, and in reality, people rarely get quotations right. ["According to the IMDb, Deborah's right." -- Wing Chun]) She collapses into laughter again. When she stops, Josh says, "'Us.'" C.J.: "What?" Josh: "You said, 'It's the fall that's gonna kill you.' You meant 'us.'" She starts to walk away and Josh asks where she's going. She says she's going home; she knows what Josh meant, and she just wants to sleep for a while. Josh walks and catches up to her again, and mentions the fax about the Chinese satellite. C.J. says they get faxes once a week about stuff falling out of the sky. Josh points out that Donna doesn't know that, and that she thinks it's an emergency. He didn't tell her because he gets a day's worth of entertainment out of it. How very grade-school. Too bad it wasn't actually more entertaining. Josh mentions that stuff falls out of the sky once every ten days on average, and that ever since the first year they started putting stuff up there, 17,000 objects have come back: "And remarkably, not one person has been hit. So I suppose there's an argument to be made that we're due." C.J.: "Yeah. You picked me right up there, Josh." She walks away. He calls out, "See you tomorrow." She keeps walking, into the wind.

West Wing TV Show - But We&apos;ve Got Surprise On Our Side, Right? - West Wing Photos &amp; Videos, West Wing Reviews &amp; West Wing Recaps | TWoP

West Wing TV Show - But We've Got Surprise On Our Side, Right? - West Wing Photos & Videos, West Wing Reviews & West Wing Recaps | TWoP