By LTG
C.J. sits at her desk marking up a document while a talking head on her television discusses the results of the primary in New Jersey, where the polls have just closed. Talking Head reports that Vinick has scored another victory. C.J. looks just a bit peeved. She's probably concerned that if Vinick becomes President, there's going to be a lot of jokes about Hot Lips and a still in the Oval Office.
Toby is in his office, watching the same coverage. Talking Head reports that the results of the Democratic primary are still too close to call: "Vice-President Bob Russell was the favorite coming into this final primary tonight, but our exit polls show another very tight race between Russell and Texas Congressman Matt Santos." Eh. I'd rather see the two of them in a tight embrace.
In a hotel suite somewhere (presumably in New Jersey), Bingo Bob and his posse watch the same coverage. The mood is quite subdued.
And the mood is no better in the Santos suite. Talking Head tells us that if Santos wins, he would end up only about one hundred delegates behind Russell, although neither candidate would have enough to have a lock on the nomination. And I have to point out that primary elections aren't winner-take-all. Regardless of whether Santos ends up just a little bit ahead or a little bit behind Russell in NJ, each man would get about half the delegates (assuming nobody else got any significant number of votes). Why do I expect realism from this show? Santos gives Josh a very strange look. I think he's trying to decide if he's in the mood for a little post-primary nookie.
Vinick HQ is jumping, as people clap and cheer the announcement that Vinick has the Republican nomination sewn up. Which, if he's really been winning big all along and this is really the final primary, should have been the case a long time ago. Oh, sorry, there I go again. I suspect that I'm going to have to really focus on forgetting political reality when I watch this show -- at least until the election in November. Talking Head reports that Vinick's last opponent, Reverend Don Butler, is expected to concede the race from his own HQ in Virginia. An aide whispers something to Jill (a.k.a Sheila, but I'll stick with Jill), and Jill leaves the room.
Jill walks into the bedroom, where Vinick is staring out a window. She knocks to get his attention, points at the phone, picks it up and tells the caller that the Senator is ready. It's Butler, calling to concede the race. As Vinick takes the call, Jill's own cell phone rings. It's one of her children. We hear little snippets of each conversation, but not enough to make sense of either one. When Vinick hangs up, he tells Jill that Butler wants a meeting. She tells him that they need to "move fast on V.P." Vinick takes the hint that she thinks he should ask Butler, and Vinick tells her that while he really respects Butler, "he beat [Vinick] up pretty bad on abortion during the primaries. How's he gonna walk back from that?" To paraphrase Rankin and Bass, put one foot behind the other? Jill thinks that Butler and Vinick can just agree to disagree; she thinks it will make Vinick look strong if he can accept a Veep who disagrees with him. Vinick thinks it will make it look like he's just trying to suck up to the conservatives. Which I would think is something he would have had to do in the process of seeking the Republican nomination. D'oh! I think I need to get one of those collars they use to stop dogs from barking. Every time I whine about a lack of realism, it will give me a shock. That'll either shut me up or help me develop a tolerance for pain. With perfect timing, Jill turns on the television just as Butler is about to begin his concession speech. How did she do that? Oh wait, perhaps the television was already on and she just un-muted it. That would be logical.
On the television, Butler mentions the fact that he did indeed win some primaries. Which is what I would have expected. Everyone on the show has been talking as though Vinick's run for the nomination was just a cakewalk. It would have been nice if we had seen just a bit of the internal Republican fight. [Bzzzt!] Ow! Okay, I guess the collar is working. Butler, by the way is played by Don S. Davis, a.k.a General Hammond from Stargate: SG-1. And if his concession speech is any indication, he's just about one of the worst political speakers I've ever seen. There's no way he would have won a primary. [Bzzzt!] Geez, that thing hurts. Jill tells Vinick that they need to start heading down to the ballroom. As she walks out ahead of him, he says her name and then simply says, "Thanks."
Toby walks into C.J.'s office with a resigned look on his face and says, "It's Vinick." She's pretty glum herself as they turn to watch Vinick's victory speech on the monitor.
In the Residence, Jed and Leo are watching the speech. They both look pretty unhappy. With a shrug, Leo says, "We got nobody who can beat him." Credits.
Annabeth walks past the open door of Toby's office and sees that he's sacked out on the couch. Morning light is streaming through the window. A new talking head on the television discloses that they've been counting votes all night, and Santos is just one thousand votes ahead of Russell. Annabeth walks into the office, closes the blinds, and then mutes the television. Toby is immediately awake, asking her what she's doing. Man, my mother is just like that. She can be completely dead to the world in front of the television, but if you turn it off or change the channel, she's immediately aware of it. Annabeth points out that he was sleeping, and he tells her that he doesn't want to stop watching while they're still counting the votes in NJ. She tells him, "It doesn't matter who wins. No one's gonna have enough delegates for the nomination. Come on, wake up and smell the chaos." And with that, she leaves Toby to stew in his own funk. And quite a funk it must be, if he slept all night on his couch.
Vinick, Jill, and Jimmy James walk across the rotunda of...some building. It's not the Capitol, but I'm really no good at identifying Senate office buildings. Mr. James tells Vinick that they want him to stay out of the press so that the continuing story will be about the chaos in the Democratic party. Vinick asks about fundraisers, and Jill tells him those are fine because the press is not allowed to attend them. As they approach a pack of reporters, Jill tells Vinick that she doesn't want him to answer any questions. He starts out strong, telling them that he hasn't thought about who his running mate will be, and that he doesn't really care whether Santos or Russell wins the nomination. But Alan Alda is constitutionally incapable of playing a man who can keep his opinions to himself, so when a reporter asks him how he plans to balance the budget and cut taxes, he says, "I have a two-for-one plan. For every dollar we cut taxes, we're cutting spending by two dollars." She asks if that won't just result in drastic spending cuts, and he tells her that he thinks the cuts are necessary: "I'm for all the good government we can afford. No more, no less." Mr. James tries to end the questioning and drag Vinick away, but he can't resist flapping his trap a little more, responding to a question about D.C. city government making a deal to build a baseball stadium. Vinick, as you might expect, is against it: "The teams should pay their own way. They can pay eighty million for a shortstop, but they can't pay for their own stadiums?" Mr. James really puts his foot down and ends the questions.
As Vinick et al. enter his Senate offices, Jill crabs at him for putting down baseball, telling him that she'll have to give back the tickets she worked hard to get. He asks her, "Did you pay for them?" and when she says yes, he tells her not to worry about it. He asks her where they're sitting, and she tells him to forget about it -- she only got two tickets. As it is, she's only going to be able to bring one of her three kids. (The kids' names, by the way, are Holly, Brenda, and Tina. Tina's the one who gets to go, since the others have schedule conflicts.) Vinick tells her to make sure Tina brings her glove, since he's counting on her to catch a foul ball for him.
C.J. is on the phone with "Madame Secretary," apparently being nagged to give a memo to Jed. Annabeth and Charlie are waiting for her to finish the call. Man, I can't wait until I get cable -- the reception on these rabbit ears is so bad, it looks like Charlie has a mustache. But that can't be right, because the kind of skinny little 'stache I'm seeing on my TV would totally destroy the hotness that is Charlie Young. So it must just be some static. Some very persistent static that is always located right below Charlie's nose. C.J. gets off the phone and tells Annabeth and Charlie that she understood the debt ceiling, but that she's not so sure now that she's spoken with the Treasury Secretary. Toby enters and tells them that Santos won NJ by a couple of thousand votes. We get our first close-up of Charlie as he asks Toby how many delegates Santos won. Man, that is some ugly static. C.J. brings the conversation back to the topic of government. Annabeth asks if they're doing a press release on the debt ceiling, because if they are she's going to need a little tutorial. I'm guessing she would be a little fuzzy on the idea of why you might need to raise a ceiling. Because she's short. Get it? [Bzzzt!] Ow! Hey, that wasn't political. Oh wait, I seem to have set it to go off when I tell a bad joke. I'd better fix that, or I'll never survive the recap. C.J. tells them that there will be no press release, and asks Charlie when the vote is scheduled to take place. Charlie tells her that the interest will exceed the current debt ceiling tomorrow at midnight, so Treasury wants a vote as early as possible. Everyone explains to Annabeth, the audience surrogate, that the leadership always likes to schedule the vote for the last possible minute so that no Senator will feel tempted to try to block it or sneak an amendment onto it. Charlie tells her, "It's a one-sentence bill. Just changes a '7' to an '8.'" Annabeth: "Trillion?" Yes indeed. Hmmm, I just noticed that there's some static on Charlie's chin as well. Oddest thing I've ever seen. Perhaps I need to have my television repaired. Annabeth wonders why Treasury wrote a twenty-page memo to discuss a one-sentence bill, and Toby tells her that they need to discuss the end of civilization that will occur if the debt ceiling is not raised. She asks if the "debt ceiling thing is routine, or the end of the world?" Toby tells her that it's both.
C.J. ends the meeting, and Annabeth and Charlie depart, leaving Toby alone with C.J. Toby tells C.J. that they have to do something. She thinks he's still talking about the debt ceiling, but he's not -- he's referring to the mess in the Democratic party: "We're facing a Republican who can win California and, I don't know, maybe forty-nine other states, and who do we have? We have nobody!" They discuss a columnist (David Broder, an odd shout-out to reality) who thinks the impasse is a plus for Democrats, because it will give the convention some actual meaning. Toby thinks Broder's on drugs. But as they talk, they realize that the unsettled nature of the convention will cause the press to cover every second of it, rather than the few hours of coverage given to the normal stage-managed media event that conventions have become. And I just realized that if the press covers every second of the convention, a lot of television shows will be preempted. Which means a nice vacation for every recapper. Bring it on!
A very similar discussion is proceeding in Vinick's office, where a staff meeting is going on. Mr. James is pleased that the Democrats are in disarray, but worried that they don't know who their opponent is going to be. A campaign lackey thinks it would be better if Santos were the Democrats' choice, but Mr. James thinks that Santos could be harder than Russell. To beat, I mean. In an election, you perverts. Campaign Lackey dismisses that idea: "Santos couldn't even carry his own state." Wait, does that mean that he thinks Santos won't be able to win Texas in the general election, or is he telling us that Santos did not win the Texas primary? Because I have to say, I know those Texas Democrats, and I think Santos is just the guy they would go for. Unless, I guess, Hoynes had reactivated his campaign by the time of the Texas primary. Mr. James and Campaign Lackey are furiously arguing the merits of Santos and Russell when Jill cuts them off, asking how much money they're going to need for the ground campaign. Mr. James thinks they won't know until they know who the Democratic nominee is, because each man is strong in different states. For example, Santos is stronger in a state of undress. The phone rings, and Jill answers it. Isn't there some flunky who should get that? It's Royce, the Senate Majority Leader -- he's in the reception area, waiting to see Vinick. Jill dismisses everyone, and she and Vinick wonder why Royce is there. Jill thinks he wants to be first in line to be considered for Veep. Jill leaves, and Royce enters. Vinick addresses him as Mr. Leader, but Royce tells him to knock it off: "You're the real leader of this party now. And I just want you to know I'm at your service." They sit down to chat about what Royce can do for Vinick. Royce begins by discussing his fundraising prowess as we cut to the scene.
Jed walks into the Office of O, followed by C.J., Toby, and Leo. Jed's asking how many delegates Santos (which he persists in pronouncing "Sahntos") has. Toby establishes that Santos and Russell each have around 1600 (with Russell 78 ahead of Santos), while Hoynes still has 956. So either Hoynes continued to campaign after Super Tuesday, or he was kicking Russell's ass in the primaries before then. The number of delegates required to win is 2,162. C.J. doesn't think Hoynes has a chance, but Leo thinks Hoynes is hoping to stick around long enough that the supporters of one candidate or the other will defect to him, based on the fact that he has the longest track record in the party. Toby points out that it's not just the nomination that's up for grabs: all of the details of the convention that are normally decided upon by the presumptive nominee will be the subject of fighting between the different camps. Toby expositions that the convention is just four weeks away. Leo reminds Jed that until there's a nominee, he's still the head of the party. Jed immediately knows what he needs to do: he tells Toby to get Bingo Bob and Sahntos in to speak with him. Toby wonders if he's going to try to broker a deal, but Jed just wants to give them a photo op. But he has no interest in bringing Hoynes in, because he thinks he definitely doesn't have a chance.
Vinick's office. He tells Jill, "I don't feel comfortable about this." She responds, "Everybody does it." Whoa, it's middle school health class filmstrip about peer pressure. Just say no, Arnie! Oh wait, Jill's not talking about sniffing glue: she thinks Vinick needs to consider bringing in new staff now that he's got the nomination. Vinick is concerned that the new person Jill is talking about is a Democrat. He thinks it will be counterproductive in light of his efforts to demonstrate that he's a real Republican. Jill just wants Vinick to meet the guy and see where it goes from there. Maybe she is talking about sniffing glue. Jill tells him that Governor Baker (a.k.a. Governor Bundy) vouches for the guy, and when Vinick is still resistant, she tells him that he has a plan to win all fifty states. That finally gets Arnie's attention, and he agrees to the meeting. And who should it be but our old pal Bruno. Well, okay, not my old pal -- I find the character sleazy and repulsive. But somebody's old pal.
Bruno congratulates Vinick, and they sit down to talk. Vinick wants to hear about the fifty-state plan. Bruno points out that "Republicans have won forty-nine states twice in the last thirty years, and they've never had anybody with as much independent and cross-party appeal as [Vinick has]." Vinick thinks he can't plan a fifty-state campaign until he has an opponent. Bruno tells him that he should fire whoever told him that. Vinick, if you fire Mr. James, it is over between us. Bruno thinks that Vinick's strategy should be to run without ever mentioning his opponent. He tells Vinick, "You're in a unique position to run a completely positive campaign because most of the country agrees with you on most of the issues." Hmmm. That's been the case for the last two Democratic nominees in the real world, and it hasn't seemed to win any elections. Bruno thinks that the only thing Vinick could do to screw things up would be to select Butler as his Veep. Vinick points out that he really needs to reach out to the Republican anti-choice base (which is something that, you know, he would likely have had to confront in the primaries). [Bzzzt!] Damn! That one snuck up on me. Bruno thinks there are plenty of other anti-choice Republicans who are more qualified than Butler. Vinick asks Bruno what he knows about Republican politics. Bruno says that he doesn't care about Republican politics, and then he says that he doesn't care about Democratic politics. In the face of Vinick's skeptical gaze, Bruno laughs and admits that he does care about the Democrats. But he thinks Vinick is good for the Democrats because he fights fair. Again, there's a skeptical gaze (Alan Alda is really good at those), and Bruno asks if Vinick thinks he's a spy, trying to steer him wrong. Vinick allows that the thought had crossed his mind, but Bruno talks about how he's constantly used wedge issues in campaigns, and that he wants to work on a campaign -- Vinick's -- where no wedge issues are needed. Bruno leans in close and tells Vinick, "You do this right, you can do a lot more than win. You can stop using politics to divide this country. You can show us how much we agree, instead of how much we disagree. You can put this country back together." Because he's a uniter, not a divider. Commercials.
Will is following C.J. from office to office, telling her that "it's a terrible idea." She tells him that it's Jed's idea, but that doesn't seem to impress Will. He tells her, "It's an insult to the Vice-President, to bring them into his White House." I'm not sure who "them" is, since Jed is only inviting Santos and Russell. C.J. joins a legion of watchers in reminding Will that it's not Bingo Bob's White House. C.J. tells him that they want to remind the voters that they are still running the country and that the party is not "in melt-down mode." Man, I could really go for a tuna melt right now. Will tries to negotiate, demanding that, after the joint photo op, the Veep get a solo photo op with Jed. C.J. tells him that it's Jed's way or the highway. Will trails after her like a yapping terrier, insisting that only Russell has a chance to beat Vinick, and telling her that if Jed really cared about the party, he would endorse Bingo Bob. She tells him that the Veep needs to be in the Oval at 10 the morning. Poor Will. He sold his soul, and for what? I doubt he even got a t-shirt. (That was a nice scene from Josh Malina, by the way -- he really conveyed the desperation and betrayal that Will is feeling.)
Jill and Vinick ride in the back of a limo. They're on the way to a fundraiser, and she tells him that most of the donors will be from the pharmaceutical industry. Vinick says that he'll give his speech about how the pharmaceutical industry should be allowed to keep ripping off the nation. (My words, not his.) A cell phone rings, and Jill answers. She's just started a conversation when her other phone rings, and she tells the first caller to hold on. Vinick absent-mindedly reaches out to hold the first phone while she grabs the second one. The second phone is clearly reserved for her kids, because she greets the caller as "sweetie" without even looking at the caller ID. Of course, maybe she just calls everyone "sweetie," like a truck-stop waitress. One of Jill's daughters is asking the formula for the area of a parallelogram. Jill hesitates, but Vinick jumps in and tells her that it's "length times width." Really, it's length times height, but close enough. Jill passes on the crucial geometric knowledge, says goodbye, hangs up, and then grabs the first phone back from Vinick. She's all business, and when she hangs up, she tells Vinick that he's meeting with Butler first thing in the morning. I really like the relationship between Jill and Vinick. When we first met them, I almost wondered if they were father and daughter, which is a testament to the skill of these actors. They really convey the obvious bonds of trust and affection between the two characters. Vinick thinks for a second and asks her if she thinks Bruno is right about not choosing Butler for Veep. She tells Vinick that even if they don't put Butler on the ticket, they need a very strong endorsement from him. She switches back to discussing the fundraiser, telling him that there will be energy industry types at the event who will want to know how Vinick plans to vote on an energy deregulation bill. He says that he won't know until the bill comes out of committee, and she is not pleased. He tells her, "Hey, if you can't drink their booze, take their money, and then vote against them, you don't belong in this business."
Santos and Bingo Bob sit in the Office of O, facing each other but trying extremely hard not to look at each other. After examining the ceiling for a while, Santos finally looks at Bob and they give each other a small nod. (Bob's hair is growing out nicely, by the way.) Jed walks in (with cane) and thanks them both for coming. They rise and greet him. Annabeth and C.J. are with him, and Jed tells Annabeth that she can let the press in. He arrives a chair, placed symbolically between the two candidates, and tells them both to sit down. Photographers walk in and start snapping away. After a second, Jed reaches over to shake Santos's hand, telling him that it's a pleasure to finally meet him. Man, I really don't believe that a Democratic member of Congress could possibly go so long without meeting the Democratic President. Don't they have some kind of welcome when the new members arrive in Washington? [Bzzzt!] Wait! That was just a [Bzzzt!] factual observation. [Bzzzt!] I think this collar may not have been my best idea. Jed shakes Russell's hand and thanks him for coming. The cameras flash for a few minutes as the three men sit there silently. Annabeth herds the photogs out, and C.J. goes back to her own office. After a few more silent moments, Jed starts to deliver a lecture to Santos and Russell, telling them in no uncertain terms that they are not to attack each other: "If I think you've overstepped the line, I'm gonna grab the nearest microphone and say so, and don't be surprised if I endorse the other guy while I'm at it." After getting each candidate to promise to be a good little boy, Jed leaves the Oval. Bingo Bob looks after him with annoyance, while I see a glint of admiration in Santos's eye.
Vinick is watching news coverage of the photo op with Jed. He makes some comments about Jed's excellent political instincts, and then asks Jill if she's read Ray Sullivan's file. He's the Republican governor of West Virginia, a political wunderkind and former prosecutor who was tough on white-collar crime. An aide knocks on the door to let them know Butler is there. Jill tells Vinick that while Bruno may be right about his being able to win fifty states if he doesn't select Butler, he can guarantee an electoral college landslide if he does choose Butler. Vinick thinks Butler will chase away Democrats and independents. Plus, if Vinick chooses Butler, he can kiss the important Goa'uld vote goodbye, even if it does give him a lock on the Jaffa and Tok'ra voting blocs. Jill: "Ray Sullivan is the best man. Don Butler is the best bet." Vinick asks Jill to bring Butler in. While she goes to get Butler, Vinick puts Sullivan's file into a drawer, almost as if he's trying to hide it.
Butler enters, and the two men greet each other by their first names. Butler tells Vinick that whatever he said during the primaries, "it was never personal." Butler tells Vinick that he's been thinking about how they could put their differences aside and work together towards victory in November. Vinick tells him that he's been thinking about the same thing, and then he starts making the pitch that would end in an invitation to Butler to become his running mate. Butler stops him, and tells him that although he thinks he could move closer to Vinick on many issues, he could never run on a ticket with someone who is pro-choice. Vinick has a shocked look on his face, and doesn't say another word as Butler gets up and leaves the office. Commercials.
Jill and Vinick are speaking in his office. She can't believe her ears. They are careful to point out that Vinick didn't offer Butler the Veep spot, but only because Butler cut him off. Jill asks if Butler will give Vinick an endorsement, and Arnie demonstrates that he has some sense of what's appropriate when he tells her that it didn't seem like the right time to ask about that. An aide opens the door to tell them that Butler is live on MSNBC (which comes out sounding like "Miss NBC.") Jill switches on the television, and she and Vinick watch as reporters pepper Butler with questions while he's on his way out of the building. He also makes it clear that Vinick did not offer him the spot, and that he came to see Vinick to tell him face to face that he was not interested. Someone asks him if he would run with Vinick if Vinick changed his mind on abortion. Butler tells them, "First of all, I'd get down on my knees and thank God for performing a miracle. Then I'd have 'Vote Vinick' tattooed on my forehead." Given the size of that real estate, I think the value of that tattoo might exceed the $2,000 limit on donations to federal campaigns. Another reporter asks Butler if he'll pray for Vinick to change his mind. He's taken aback by the question, and after a few seconds says that not only will he pray for Vinick, but that Arnie is welcome to come to his church and pray with him any time. And then he points out that he'll be resuming his preaching that Sunday, and that Vinick will always have a front row seat in his church. Arnie is less than pleased to get that invitation. Butler leaves without taking any additional questions.
Vinick is meeting with some campaign staff to discuss how to spin Butler's impromptu press conference. Mr. James tells him, "You say that you fully respect Reverend Butler's position that he's not interest in V.P. In fact, you just keep repeating those four words: 'Fully respect Reverend Butler's position.'" Campaign Lackey jumps in to point out that that's five words. Mr. James thinks that once they repeat that enough, they can hit up Butler's supporters with some direct mail on Vinick's opposition to so-called partial birth abortion and try to convince them to vote for the lesser of two evils. Campaign Lackey asks why Vinick doesn't just accept Butler's invitation to attend his church. Jill thinks it would be a great photo op.
In some Congressional coffee shop, Bruno tells Jill that it is a great photo op, but that Vinick would have to promise not to take any questions. Jill reminds him that Vinick always takes questions. Bruno points out that all of the questions will be about abortion, and that Vinick's answers could only serve to anger Butler's supporters. Bruno thinks that the question of whether Butler endorses Vinick is beyond their control.
Back in Vinick's office, Vinick asks Bruno what he thinks they should do. Bruno tells Vinick that he should just ignore Butler and do what he would have done if this hadn't happened, which was to select a Veep quickly and move ahead on campaigning. Bruno asks who their choice was for V.P., and Jill tells him that it's Ray Sullivan. Bruno thinks Sullivan a great choice, calling him a "budget-balancing governor." Which is no great feat, since just about every state and local government is legally prohibited from running any kind of budget deficit. [Bzzzt!] Ow! Dammit! I need to take this thing off. I can't take much more of this. Wait, what the...? It's stuck! The catch is broken, I can't get it off. That'll teach me to shop at the Radio Hut. I guess I'll just have to work through the pain. Bruno thinks they need to get a meeting with Sullivan immediately so that the Sullivan story can chase the Butler story off the air.
C.J. and Toby pedeconference. He tells her that the Senate Democrats want to stick an amendment increasing the minimum wage onto the debt ceiling bill, but that they won't do it if Jed tells them not to. But they need his answer right away.
In the Office of O, Jed, Leo, C.J., and Toby discuss the idea. The plan seems risky, but the politics are great: it forces Republicans to go on the record opposing an increase on the minimum wage in an election year, and has the potential to divide Vinick further from the rest of the Republican party. The clincher is that it might be Jed's last chance to get an increase in the minimum wage.
In the staff area of Vinick's office, Jill is on the phone discussing how Vinick will vote on certain motions related to the minimum-wage amendment. A little girl is camped out on a sofa drawing on a sketchpad. After Jill gets off the phone, she walks over to the little girl and tells her that they may get to the game a little later than she promised. Ah, so this is Tina. I was really hoping for someone more like Tina Yothers. Tina whines, "I want to see batting practice." If a Vinick victory means seeing more moppets hanging around the West Wing, put me down as a vote for anybody but Vinick.
Jill walks into Vinick's office. When he hangs up the phone, she tells him that he has to go vote. He asks what he's voting on, and she tells him about the cloture vote on the minimum-wage amendment. He thinks the Democrats are engaged in "a cheap political stunt." Jill tells him, "This is aimed at you. The Democrats are trying to separate you from the party." Arnie walks from his office to the staff area, and greets Tina warmly. She says, "Hey Senator." He tells her that he's counting on her, and she responds, "I can't vote, you know." But he doesn't want her vote -- he wants any foul balls she catches at the game. Tina tells him that she'll be keeping anything she catches, and Jill tells Vinick that if Tina gave him a ball, "it [would be] a violation of Senate gift rules." Jill and Vinick leave so that Vinick can go vote on cloture. As they walk out, Jill tells Vinick that they have to get past the press without answering any questions about Butler.
Reporters swarm around Vinick as he walks down the hall. At first, he tries to head off questions by saying that he has to go vote. But one reporter keeps asking him if he's going to visit Butler's church, and he just can't seem to ignore the question. But he also doesn't want to answer it, so he starts stuttering and stammering and saying that he thinks he might have something else going on that Sunday. Yeah, a television appearance, that's the ticket. Someone else asks if Meet the Press is more important than Butler's church. He stammers some more, claiming that he's not sure of his schedule. Yeah, someone else has the appointment book. That's the ticket. Jill is concerned, and she tells a Secret Service guy to get them out of the there. The agent steps in front of Vinick and pushes his way through the crowd, and reporters start asking Vinick if he goes to church at all. Commercials.
Vinick and Jill return to the office, presumably having made it to the cloture vote. On a television, a reporter is talking about the fact that Vinick would not even answer questions about whether he attends church. Tina is watching the TV as she does her homework, and she asks Vinick if he goes to church. He tries to blow her off by saying that he has to get some work done so that she can get to the game on time, and she says that she didn't really think she would make it to batting practice in any case. Vinick sits down to her and tells her that he hasn't been to church in a while. She says, "I think you should." From the mouths of babes come plot-based inanities. She does allow as to how he doesn't have to go to church if he doesn't believe in God, like her "best friend Maggie," whose parents are atheists. But Maggie "comes to [the Jill family] church on Christmas Eve to see the nativity play, because [Tina's] always in it, and [Maggie] is [Tina's] best friend." Excuse me, I need to go brush my teeth after being assaulted with all that sugar. Vinick really doesn't know how to respond to this, and he returns to his office. Jill tells Tina that she'll be able to leave soon.
Mr. James is waiting in Vinick's office as he and Jill walk in. The director has switched over to ShakyCam. Mr. James tells Vinick that if he changes his position on abortion, their polling shows that he would take fifty-one to fifty-three percent of the vote and have a sizeable lead in the electoral college. Wait, why would taking the less popular position help him get votes? [Bzzzt!] Aaargh! I forgot, this is a universe in which pro-choice Republican sweep to victory in the nominating process but will have serious trouble winning general elections. Just like our universe, except completely opposite. [Bzzzt!] Any second now, Bizarro Superman is going to come looking for Bizarro Lois Lane so that he can divorce her because he loves her so much. [Bzzzt!] Or marry her because he hates her so much. [Bzzzt!] I can't keep track of which inconsistencies are the right ones. [Bzzzt!] [Bzzzzt!] [Bzzzzzzzzzzzt!] [Pop!] Oh, thank God -- the collar blew a fuse. This thing would have killed me if went on like this for the rest of this episode, let alone the rest of the season. As it is, I may never need to shave my neck again. Back on the television, Vinick is making it clear that he won't change his position, and Mr. James tells him that he just thought Vinick should have the information. The camera swings over to Campaign Lackey, who thinks they just need one shot of Vinick walking into a church on Sunday to make this all go away. Bruno thinks it won't work because it will just raise questions about when Vinick last went to church. Vinick tells them that it's been a while. Mr. James and Bruno both look at Jill as they wait for her to ask the obvious question: "How long?" He asks if they're counting weddings and funerals, and she tells everyone to leave so that Vinick can get ready for his meeting with Sullivan.
Jill sits down and asks Vinick if it's been years since he was in church. He tries to evade the question, pointing out that on Sunday mornings he's in his office or at home working. Jill is persistent, though, and he acknowledges that he hasn't been to church since his wife died. Jill: "So, five or six years?" Vinick points out that he's not the only senator who doesn't attend church, and Jill reminds him that he's not just a senator. The phone rings, and Jill answers it. Vinick signals that he doesn't want to take any calls. It's Majority Leader Royce. When Jill hangs up, she tells Vinick that Royce wants him to go meet with the President to work out a deal on the minimum wage so that the debt-ceiling bill can be passed before midnight. So he has five minutes to meet with Sullivan, and then he has to leave. And then Jill opens the door for Sullivan.
Jill leaves as Sullivan enters. He and Vinick exchange greetings and sit down, and Vinick apologizes for having to cut the meeting short, explaining that he has to meet with the President to work out a deal on a bill. Sullivan tells him, "'Governing before politics,' that's my motto." Vinick asks him if it really is his motto, and Sullivan tells him that it's a joke. Vinick tells Sullivan that he wants to discuss the Vice-Presidency with him, and Sullivan asks if Vinick offered the job to Butler. He's relieved to hear that he didn't, because Sullivan doesn't want to be second choice. Vinick asks if Sullivan has seen the news about him not going to church, and Sullivan tells him, "That's all right. I go enough for both of us." Vinick starts to ask Sullivan about specific issues, but Sullivan cuts him off, saying, "Here's the deal with the issues, Arnie. I can get in line with you on everything, except abortion. Nothing's gonna make me change my mind on that. But I'm guessing you wouldn't want me to." Vinick has a pleased smile by the end of that exchange.
Vinick exits a black SUV and is admitted to the West Wing. As he walks through the corridors, people stop and stare at him like he's the second coming of Santa Claus. Toby even silences Charlie and his face-static when Vinick walks by. And Annabeth looks like she's about to climb Mount Vinick right there, if you know what I mean. And if you do, please drop me a line to clue me in. C.J. meets Vinick at the door of the Oval and tells him that Jed and the horse of a different color are ready to see him.
Jed and Vinick jaw over how to solve the dispute over the minimum wage and the debt ceiling. Jed offers to drop the minimum-wage amendment from the debt-ceiling bill if the Republicans will give them a separate vote on the minimum wage. Vinick thinks they'll lose a vote on the minimum wage, and Jed responds, "We might be able to shame enough Republicans into doing the right thing in an election year." And then Vinick makes a counteroffer that...isn't. He just tells Jed that he'll pull together enough Republican votes to make sure the minimum-wage increase passes. Jed asks him if he can do that, and Vinick tells him that there are Republican senators in seven states that have minimum wages higher than the federal minimum wage: "We don't want jobs moving to lower-wage states." The problem with the logic is that jobs that are portable aren't going to leave California for Arkansas -- they're going to leave for Malaysia. And most jobs that pay the minimum wage in the U.S. aren't portable -- they're in the retail, restaurant, and service sectors. Starbucks can't really move jobs from San Francisco to Boise. I'm so glad the collar broke before we got to that sentence. Jed asks Vinick what he wants in exchange for his help, and Vinick tells him that he wants to be the one to announce the deal. He also wants Jed to make it look like Vinick fought harder than he did against the minimum wage, so that other Republicans won't be pissed at him: "Let me hang out for a while, as if we're really slugging it out in here." Jed asks him if he can get him anything, and Vinick asks, "Where's the ice cream?"
In the White House kitchen, Vinick and Jed bond over big tubs of ice cream. Vinick loves the coffee ice cream, and Jed tells him, "The hardest thing about this job is knowing this stash is down here twenty-four hours a day." Yes, that's much more difficult than ordering assassinations, reviewing pardon petitions, and calling the parents of dead soldiers. Vinick asks about Jed's health, and Jed tells him that he has good days and bad days. He points out that Vinick hasn't had a very good day. Vinick asks, "What ever happened to the separation of church and state?" I don't know, Senator -- why don't you ask the folks in your party? Jed tells him, "I'm afraid the Constitution doesn't say anything about the separation of church and politics." Vinick asks if the voter really needs to know whether Vinick goes to church. Jed tells him, "I don't need to know, but then I'm not gonna vote for you anyway." Jed points out that it's the voters who get to decide what they want to know about the candidates. Vinick thinks it's a bit hypocritical for Jed to take that position in light of the fact that he hid his own medical condition. Jed tells him, "That was a big mistake." Vinick thinks voters were perfectly happy in the past not knowing anything about candidates' health, and that we were better off for it.
Jed and Vinick talk a bit about the fact that Jed has had an awful lot of photo ops on church steps, and Jed tells Vinick, "I went to Mass every Sunday long before I went into politics." Vinick tells Jed that he did too, and Jed asks why he stopped. He basically tells Jed that he stopped attending church once he actually read the Bible. Jed laughs and says, "You can't take it literally." Vinick says that he couldn't believe there was a God who came up with some of the rules in the Bible but had nothing bad to say about slavery: "Lincoln could have used a little help from the Bible." Jed asks if Vinick thinks that Lincoln was an atheist, and Vinick says that he hopes not, because that would make him a hypocrite in light of all the religious references in his speeches. Jed points out that Lincoln never made religious references in his speeches until he got into politics. Of course, I imagine that he didn't give many speeches before he got into politics. Jed, by the way, has limped over to an enormous freezer and grabbed another tub of ice cream. By now, there are about six open tubs on the table, and he and Vinick are just dipping their spoons into any old tub. Part of me is disgusted, and part of me is very jealous. Vinick says that he believes Lincoln was a doubter, and Jed asks if Vinick is one as well. Vinick gives him a look and asks, "You gonna try to save my soul?" Jed apologizes for prying, and Vinick tells him that he struggled with the Bible for a long time until he eventually gave up the struggle. Quitter. Jed shoves a tub of ice cream across the table and advises Vinick to try the pistachio.
Vinick is in front of the White House telling reporters about the deal on the debt ceiling and the minimum wage. A reporter asks if he's going to reconsider Butler's invitation. Vinick starts in with Mr. James's line, saying, "I fully respect Reverend Butler's position." But he catches himself parroting a political line, and changes it, saying, "I mean, I appreciate his invitation." And then he freezes for a long recapper-friendly moment. The music swells as Vinick tells the reporters, "I respect Reverend Butler, and I respect his church too much to use it for my own political purposes. And that's exactly what I'd be doing if I went down there this Sunday. Because the truth is, it would just be an act of political phoniness. I may be wrong, but I suspect our churches already have enough political phonies in them." We cut to Butler watching this on television. I can't tell if he's angry, or if he appreciates Vinick's honesty, or if he's constipated. Vinick tells the reporters that he doesn't think candidates should have to pass some kind of religious test, and he warns them that if they ask politicians to express religious faith, they "are just begging to be lied to." Vinick tells them that he'll answer any question on government, and he continues, "If you have a question on religion, please, go to church." We see Jed watching this on television. He has a smile, and again, I can't tell if he admires Vinick, or if he's an evil mastermind who tricked Vinick into making a speech that will hurt his political chances. But I'm pretty sure Jed's not constipated. Jed turns off the television, and the episode ends.