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It's six weeks since the Dean's apparent suicide, and Mindy O'Dell shows up at Mars Investigations and tells Keith that her husband didn't kill himself, which was the official pronouncement. Keith goes to talk to Weevil, who tells him that Dean Ed wrote a suicide note on his computer. Keith notices that the prize bottle of booze Dean Ed had was untouched, which he thinks bodes ill for the suicide idea. Also boding ill for the suicide theory is that the circumstances of Dean Ed's death were ripped off wholesale from Veronica's "Plan A Perfect Murder" paper. Shows what being an apple-polisher will get you. Mac gets a tech call from a lab on campus, which was ransacked, and soon has Veronica on the case of a missing monkey. The lab students tell Veronica that an animal-rights group abducted said monkey. Veronica and Mac infiltrate said group, and some of the more radical members challenge Veronica to impress them. Veronica isn't too happy to learn that the monkey is scheduled to end his part of the experiment with a visit to the Great Big Banana Tree In The Sky, but she still enlists Piz's help in booking this musical artist who's known for anti-animal-rights sentiment, and ropes Parker and Mac into playing bimbo groupies as part of the operation. Hee. Turns out, though, that Veronica and Mac's reward for the stunt they pull off is the chance to pose nude for an anti-fur calendar. The looks on their faces are priceless, but it's a big joke, and they're in. In ContinuityLand, we revisit the Around The World party. Mac and Veronica are unenthused, but a really-ready-to-get-back-into-action Parker argues for hosting a country. In BizarroContinuityLand, the show seems to have forgotten that Mac is a vegan. I'm happy enough to forget about it too, so let's move on to the part where Veronica, seeing that the leader of the animal-rights group is quite taken with Mac, invites him to visit them in "Canada." Veronica has a crap time, but Mac's admirer shows up, and they're cute, until Mac rebuffs his attempt at a kiss. Parker forces her to see the guy again, though, which leads to a discovery of the missing rats. Mac's boy (Bronson is his name) claims that the rats just showed up in a box at his door. Mac believes him and, what's more, comes up with a clue from the lab's hard drive, which needed some time to dry out. The clue leads Veronica to discover that the male lab student kidnapped the monkey to save him from his cruel fate, and Veronica, who was already sympathetic, refunds her fee to the meaner lab student, only to learn that she's probably doomed a different monkey. Ouch. Dick is staying with Logan, and tries to get his host out of his funk by taking him surfing and drinking with Chip. Beer and bimbos aren't any consolation to Logan, although he does partake of both. Veronica and Piz have a heart-to-heart loaded with subtext, but it turns out they're talking at cross-purposes, because Piz thinks they're getting closer, but in fact, Veronica goes running back to Logan. They're not the only ones who kiss, though, as Mac lays one on Bronson. Yay! And finally, Keith talks up Landry in a bar, but Landry knows who he is. Landry does suggest that Keith check out his book on profiling, though, and in the end, Keith takes Mindy's case, because he suspects MURDER MOST FOUL! (Well, he didn't say exactly that, but it's a good way to end a recaplet, no?) Want more? The full recap starts right below!
How is it that "Spit And Eggs" seems like it was eight million years ago, and yet I can't believe the show is back on already? It's probably best not to analyze that too closely.
Mars Investigations. Veronica grumps to Keith that he should hire someone to do the filing work with which she's currently occupied. Keith: "You're lucky I'm not a farmer. You'd be out plowin' a field." Keith's pretty cavalier about plowing, not that we didn't already know that from all the nights Veronica's spent at the Neptune Grand over the past couple of seasons. Veronica muses about what the manila in manila envelopes could possibly be, and then starts to head off to class, but stops in her tracks when Mindy O'Dell enters. Keith emerges from his office and quickly gets mired in the awkward himself, not that there was any avoiding it. I mean, as elephants in the room go, the unspoken "I reported your affair to your husband the night of his death" is on the large side. Keith follows Mindy into his office and closes the door, but not before giving Veronica a quick and adorably bemused grimace. Veronica, after a pause, heads out, and she must really like whatever class she's taking not to stick around listening at the door. She could even claim she was doing some independent research for Criminology class, although somehow I doubt Professor Landry would approve in this particular case.
In his office, Mindy tells Keith that Dean Ed didn't kill himself. She looks pale and drawn, as well she might, so props to the actress and the makeup people. Keith tells her that he told Dean Ed about her affair on the night in question, and that the Dean was drinking heavily. Mindy firmly says that Dean Ed would never have killed himself over her, and from what we saw of him, I'm inclined to agree. Keith says that Lamb ruled the death a suicide six weeks earlier, and asks why she's only coming to him now. She confesses that the visit is financially motivated, since Dean Ed's death's being ruled a suicide means that his life insurance policy is void. That doesn't really answer the question, unless it took six weeks for the insurance company to inform her of this detail in the Dean's policy. (Now that I've typed that out, I'll admit that it sounds a lot more credible.) Keith asks where she was on the night of the death since, if the case is reopened, she'll surely be questioned. She says that she was with Landry all night. The implication here seems to be that no one knows about Dean Ed's visit to see Mindy and Landry at the Grand on the night he died. Keith obviously didn't know about it, because if he had, he wouldn't have had to ask Mindy her whereabouts. And Mindy's failure to tell Keith suggests that she has something to hide, which means she wouldn't have told Lamb either. She stresses that neither she nor Landry killed Dean Ed, but I'm wondering if she secretly suspects her lover. He would have had reason to fear for his job, right? Keith says that he'll check around, but it's clear that he doesn't think there's anything to Mindy's theory. Well, sure. I mean, how many enemies could Ed Begley Jr. have? (That joke's totally lost its sting. I miss you, Dean Ed!)
Mac warily enters a science lab to find the scientists within cleaning up; it looks like the place was ransacked. Mac's attempt at levity is met with a uncomprehending stare from one of the lab workers, a pretty young black woman, who tells Mac that she called her because whoever broke in sabotaged their computer, and there was a year's worth of research on the hard drive: "Our professor will have med students practicing autopsies on us." The other scientist, a somewhat dorky white guy, says that it wasn't their fault, and that he locked up the lab the night before. Mac asks if they have a backup, and the girl, "Pauline," tells her "he's" gone too. Mac doesn't get it, so the dude tells Mac that she's referring to "25," their research monkey. Well, I don't think that's as good as a backup hard drive. I mean, I know funds are tight in research labs, but you guys are supposed to be innovative. Grab 25 and an organ and hit the streets! Anyway, the dude says that even if they did get the data back, without 25 the project is dead. Pauline: "Who do you go to to find a stolen monkey and twenty control-group rats?" Pauline's about to learn that rhetorical questions are falling waaaaay out of favor.
Cut to the answer, Veronica, wearing an unhappy look as she stares at an oblivious Logan across the cafeteria. These two are always getting in trouble with that. VMVO (I KNOW!) addresses him, saying that his title of "ex-boyfriend" comes with certain restrictions, and that she should be able to have her "Veronica time" in the food court. Mac's voice calls Veronica's name, and she responds in kind. Upon looking up and seeing Pauline and the guy in their white coats, she adds, "And the people coming to take me away." Hee. Mac introduces the scientists ("Gil" is the guy's name) and tells her about the missing monkey. Veronica: "'Monkey' as in..." Mac: "Touch my." Hee, again, although she missed out on extra credit by declining to do the German accent. Veronica asks if the monkey plays piano. Pauline babbles some science-speak at Veronica, the upshot of which is that the monkey has been genetically altered to allow them to monitor his cholesterol breakdown, presumably so that they can experiment with finding a drug that treats high levels of it. Presumably something besides statins, because HELLO. Veronica looks at her plaintively. Pauline, exasperatedly giving in: "And he can play chopsticks." Sometimes you have to drag the humor out of people. It's often worth it, Janeane Garofalo notwithstanding. Veronica asks if they have any idea who would want to nab the monkey. Pauline has to interject about 25 being a number and not a name, and that they don't name the animals or treat them as pets, and I like this episode fine and all, but can we leave the One To Grow On stuff for the end? Thanks. Pauline adds that an organization called PHAT, or People for Humane Animal Treatment, stole the monkey. Gil adds that their future is at stake, and that they need the monkey back. It's a good thing Veronica never played poker with this guy -- her money situation's been dire enough as it is. Credits.
Mac and Veronica are walking on campus. Mac says that she can't wait to see Veronica holding out a banana for the monkey in a tree, and then "the branch breaks and hilarity ensues." Veronica: "If there's hilarity, I charge extra." Hee. Veronica asks Mac about the hard drive, but Mac tells her that it looks grim: someone poured something on it. Veronica checks a big bulletin board and sees that PHAT is having a recruitment meeting that night. I have my recording paused on the poster, and it promises a slide show. Probably a good marketing idea to leave that in the small print. Mac asks whether she wants company, and Veronica looks surprised. Given the subject matter here, there's been quite a bit of debate about whether Mac is still a vegan, and even whether she ever was. I don't have much energy for this, but I'll try anyway: the former point seems ambiguous to me for a number of reasons, but as to the latter point, Mac's momcalledher a vegan. People have said in the forums that maybe her mom used "vegan" when she meant "vegetarian." All I can say to that is, if you know a sixteen-year-old girl who can resist correcting her mother when she's wrong, let her know that a career in diplomacy could well be in her future. Veronica tells Mac, "All we need is one more angel and we've got a show!" And perhaps Dick can be their Charlie. Talk about hilarity ensuing. Veronica advises Mac to "dress cruelty-free," and they go their separate ways. We stay with Veronica, though, as she runs right into her dad, who tells her that he needs to find Weevil. He fills her in about what Mindy told him, although he admits that he doesn't share her opinion. Veronica conveys some subtle chagrin at the idea of Dean Ed having been murdered, but gives up where to find Weevil, and then asks Keith how he found her, since her phone is off. Keith smiles as he leaves: "Maybe I'll tell you someday." Hee.
Mac is getting dressed in her room as Veronica reads from the PHAT website: "If it ever had a face or parents, you can't wear it." Mac: "So my mollusk shoes are cool?" If we see those turn up on season's Project Runway, we'll know something about the designer's television-viewing habits. Mac holds up a ratty sweater and asks whether it says "cruelty-free." The heretofore-unseen Parker: "It says, 'I've given up. Don't look at me.'" Hi, Parker, I missed you! And as usual, you're not wrong! Some girl barges in and asks them if they want to be a country for the Around The World party. As I mentioned in the recaplet, we've heard that before, but a reader kindly emailed and set me straight that it was at a different college. But kudos for the cross-campus continuity. (Whoa, what went wrong with that?) Anyway, the idea is that people dress their rooms as different countries, and the girl is like, "Party? Fun?" From the looks she gets in return, she should suggest that they dress their room as whatever country has the largest cricket population. The girl takes the rejection gracefully, and when she's gone, Parker takes up her cause vociferously and adorably. Veronica and Mac are unmoved, though, and Parker "uch"s in frustration.
Meeting. Mac is engaging in some free-floating bitching until she practically runs into a cute if rather young-looking guy. He smilingly asks if she's ever been to one of these things before. Mac says no, since she's from a meat-and-potatoes family, "minus the potatoes. My first pacifier was made of jerky." Yeah, I think the writers forgot about the vegan thing. (Don't email me.) Not that I blame them. (Don't email me.)
Cut to the guy, "Bronson Pope," telling the group that he's the PHAT chapter president, as Veronica makes cute "The PRESIDENT likes you!" eyebrows at Mac. Hee. Mac, of course, looks exasperated to cover the fact that she's totally embarrassed. Bronson starts his spiel, and it goes on for a while until Veronica raises her hand and asks whether they'll also be doing anything more radical, like, say, liberating animals. I'd say this lacks subtlety, but then again, she is being made to watch a slide show. Bronson tells her that is not really their thing, but invites her to join them the night to launch a letter-writing campaign. Veronica unenthusiastically agrees, and then a severe-looking girl with nerd-chic glasses growls that a "psycho" rocker known for hunting, "Ed Argent," is playing the night, and that they should picket the show. The group enthusiastically nods agreement until Bronson opines that that's a poor idea, since the typical Argent fan would "pay double to spit on [their] picket line." The group then isn't so keen on the suggestion. I can see why they're so concerned about animals, given that sheep belong in that category.
Weevil and Keith enter the Dean's office, Weevil telling Keith that, in addition to the blood from the gunshot wound, Dean Ed left a note on his computer that read "Goodbye, cruel world zzzzzzzzz." "I guess his head fell on the 'z'." This is why I don't recap after midnight. Capra's skin still looks awful, by the way. I buy that steroid story less and less as time goes on. Weevil expresses regret at Dean Ed's passing, but Keith's attention is occupied by Dean Ed's prize bottle of Scotch, which is untouched.
Chez Logan. Dick, in a bathrobe, takes a Polaroid and snaps a photo of his private parts. Of course, as his actions indicate, that's kind of a misguided euphemism in his case. Anyway, Dick tosses the photo off the balcony as Logan appears and mildly says that he already told him that the management requested he stop doing that. Dick says that Logan's management-sympathetic attitude is indicative of what's been wrong with him lately, and then turns back to look over the balcony and exclaims, "Best-case scenario! Old lady!" Hee. Logan's unamused, so Dick asks if he's just going to mope around, like that book where the guy's mom dies and he has to go back to Jersey. Logan sighs that Garden State was never a book. He really doesn't like playing the straight man. My shock is unparalleled. Dick: "It wasn't? So much for that paper." Hee. Dick adds that if they were in a book, his essay would be on the symbolism of how Logan's character got "his man-parts ripped off by the Veronica Mars character." Since Dick probably doesn't care about plagiarism, he'd save himself a lot of time by copying some forum posts. Logan says that his man-parts are intact, but Dick invites Logan to show him, symbolically, for they're young and in their sexual prime: "And the only reason why we're not out there going hog-wild is because of your feelings?" Possibly, but I think the fact that the Grand apparently recently installed a low-flow showerhead in your bathroom might be draining your mojo as well. Dick goes on to ask if they're on The View: "Am I Rosie O'Donnell?" I'll just leave that one alone. Dick quotes that old saw about today being the first day of the rest of your life and, with an endearingly beatific smile, tells Logan to think about that. At Logan's blank stare, however, his face falls: "Really, think about it!" Hee. Logan snarks that, as a statement, it seems "obvious. And pointless." Dick begs Logan to let him help him. Aw, he cares -- that's so touching! Of course, as usual, that word means something different applied to Dick.
PHAT letter-writing. It looks like broad daylight outside. Hmm. Veronica and Mac show up, and Bronson enthusiastically starts setting them up, telling them that if people knew that every research animal on campus ends up getting killed, a lot more people would protest. ["That pitch worked on Brenda Walsh, anyway." -- Wing Chun] Veronica takes note of that, and then Bronson leads Mac away while Veronica goes to talk to "Darla," the girl who wanted to picket. Veronica declares her enthusiasm for the picketing idea, and for anything else Darla might have up her sleeve. Darla doesn't bite, though. Across the room, Bronson notes Veronica's enthusiasm. Mac: "She played Pee Wee soccer. She made her own penalty cards so she could red-card players she didn't like." Hee. Bronson tells Mac that he's glad she came, since he doesn't usually have much fun at these things. Aw. He likes her! And if he's (a) never been sexually abused, (b) doesn't have chlamydia, or (c) isn't a mass murderer, he's already ahead of the game!
Later, Veronica tells Mac to look across the room. She does, and catches Bronson goofily and unabashedly grinning at her. Yeah, he's pretty adorable. I obviously haven't learned a thing from Beaver. Mac, unbelievably seeming genuine, doesn't get it, and Veronica sighs in frustration. Darla and some dude with doofy two-toned hair and stupid facial hair join them, and they tell Veronica to do something to get their attention and prove herself: "Surprise us." Veronica looks conspiratorially at Mac, who returns her gaze with abject fear. Hee.
Chez Mars. Veronica arrives home and, noting the faraway look on Keith's face, asks him what's wrong. Keith: "Just thinkin' that if I were going to get drunk and shoot myself, I'd probably drink the good stuff first." I'm not sure a man bent on suicide can be counted on to be logical, but I suppose I've heard worse theories. Keith explains about the Scotch, and then asks Veronica her impressions of Dean Ed. Veronica wistfully confesses that she admired him, and that he had character, "or was one." Keith asks about Dean Ed's rhetorical style: "Businesslike and bland?" Veronica: "More Old Testament sarcastic." She's certainly qualified to judge, under the "it takes one to know one" school of thought. Keith wonders if his sense of humor would fit with the clichéd note he left. When he tells Veronica what the note said, however, she tells him that her Plan A Perfect Murder paper was about a fake suicide: "You leave a note on the computer so you can't check the handwriting, and write something clichéd, so you don't study the message. My example was 'Goodbye, cruel world.'" So this means that Keith telling Dean Ed about the affair probably had nothing to do with his death, but that Veronica's paper gave the killer his idea for the murder. Guess we know who's doing the dishes tonight! By the way, you'll remember that Landry posted the A papers online, so the fact that the killer used Veronica's scenario doesn't narrow down the pool of suspects at all. Also, I should tell you that a reader kindly emailed me and told me that this setup is an elaborate in-joke: in the film Batman Forever, Ed Begley Jr. played the Riddler's boss, and the Riddler killed him and faked a suicide note that read "Goodbye, cruel world." And I'm impressed with the lengths to which the show went to pull the joke off, but now I'm wondering whether this means Veronica simply ripped off her paper from a mediocre movie. The meta, she is a confusing mistress.
Veronica is sitting on the steps outside a campus building when Piz emerges from within. She asks him if he can use some of that "Oregon mountain man kill-what-you-eat-gun-rack charm" to book Ed Argent on his show. Piz: "Everything north of San Francisco is just Thunderdome to you, isn't it?" Heh. Although Veronica probably knows that things tend to be a little wetter up there. Anyway, there's some verbal sparring that's meant to cover up the fact that Piz has no chance against Veronica's puppy eyes. It doesn't work.
In the lab, Pauline grouses that 25's food, still there after the break-in, is gone. She speculates that the PHAT people broke in again and took it to take care of the monkey, which...if you think about it, is kind of suspicious, but easy to overlook. Veronica tells Pauline that PHAT might have a splinter cell, and that she's working on infiltration. Veronica then, not all that casually, asks what happens to 25 once the test is over, and Pauline easily responds that the only way to conclusively prove the test results is through an autopsy. Veronica's not thrilled at hearing this, but Pauline, more defensively, says that that's how important scientific breakthroughs are made. Some woman in a lab coat interrupts, making of big show of pointing out that the AC is on full: "If you want to see my nipples, just ask." Hilariously, Gil smiles and raises his hand. Hee. The woman, "Emi," and Pauline snark at each other, and then Emi slams the door to her office as Pauline rolls her eyes.
Cut to Emi, not looking up from her microscope, telling Veronica that she was in her lab until 9, and that she didn't see anything suspicious. (Emi seems to be studying plants, by the way.) She bitches that Pauline and company have twice the space she has, all to "find a pill so fat guys in the suburbs can keep eating cheeseburgers. It's ridiculous." She looks up and tells Veronica that, while Pauline and Gil aren't her favorite people, she's a scientist, and as such, she'd never vandalize a lab. Veronica considers that.
Piz shakes the ostensible Ed Argent's hand, telling him he was awesome. He looks like an extra from the big bar scene in Thelma And Louise, which is probably all you need to know about him. ["He's a lot beefier than Ted Nugent, anyway -- too many potatoes with his squirrel and muskrat, perhaps." -- Wing Chun] As they come out of the booth, Veronica, wearing a Zeta Theta Beta sweatshirt, jumps up and down and squeals that she's his biggest fan, and even joined the NRA "after they covered [him] in Guns magazine." Heh. Parker and Mac are present and besweatshirted as well, and Parker gets into the act as easily as Veronica did, but Mac has to steel herself for a moment before standing and saying that the Second Amendment is her favorite. Heh, again. And there's a joke about the guy's sleeveless vest in there somewhere, but I'd rather not dwell on that subject, so let's move on. Anyway, Veronica holds up another sweatshirt and asks if they could get him to wear it for a picture for their "celebrity wall." Argent consents, but doesn't notice that Mac and Veronica slyly succeed at some sweatshirt switcheroo. (What am I on today?) Anyway, the new sweatshirt reads "Meat Is Murder," and Parker snaps a picture as Argent smarmily offers to stop by the sorority house later. Veronica: "I think the Theta Betas would really enjoy that!" Hee.
Sometime later, Darla's friend with the assy hair catches Veronica and shows her the picture in the newspaper, telling her that she and Mac are in. He hands her a slip of paper and tells her to be at the address written on it at 3. Veronica looks at it and smiles...
...and then Darla lets Veronica and Mac into a room; Assy Hair is there as well. Darla says that they want Mac and Veronica to join their anti-fur campaign, and Assy Hair gives them each a sign, one reading "No" and the other reading "Fur." As Darla futzes with a camera on a tripod, she tells Mac and Veronica to go ahead and "take them off." Veronica asks what she means, but the subtle looks on her and Mac's faces indicate that, on some visceral level, they knows what Darla's talking about. But Assy Hair verbalizes it: "Your clothes. For the calendar." At their abject terror, he asks if they're committed, and shows them a picture on the computer of himself wearing nothing but a "No Fur" sign over his crotch. So if self-photography habits are any indication, he's the complete opposite of Dick. Also, speaking of being committed, this is a long way to go for a joke. Hats off, but that's as far as I'm willing to take it. Veronica and Mac gape their way into the commercial break.
When we return, Darla speechifies a bit about the evils of wearing fur, and then asks Veronica and Mac, "You want to pose together?" I think there are bigger things in store for Darla than PHAT, because her question shows that she's got quite the aptitude for marketing. Veronica and Mac exchange a look fraught with fanfic fodder, but before we can, um, explore that, a curtain behind Darla is pulled back, revealing the remaining PHAT members, laughing. Assy Hair says that they pull this trick on all the gung-ho recruits, and Darla tells Veronica and Mac that PHAT loves them. Bronson steps forward and asks (Veronica and, but not really) Mac if they'd like to get something to eat with them. Mac: "I'm good. I had some mints." Veronica's "TF?" look is priceless, but I have the feeling Mac's still struggling with not throwing up after that little prank. Not all of us were best friends with Lilly Kane, Veronica. Bronson, no stranger to uphill battles, asks Mac whether she has any plans for the weekend, and Veronica, happy to play the role of Parker for the moment, pipes up that they have the Around The World party, and invites Bronson. He accepts, and asks what country they are. Mac stares, and Veronica's like, "Hmm?" Hee.
The girl from before happily surveys a bunch of rooms, appreciatively noting how much effort went into decorating them. She then stops in front of Mac's and Parker's closed door, which still has the piece of masking tape with "Mac" written on it, along with a new piece of tape that reads, "Canada." Heh. Warily, the girl opens the door, and asks them what about the completely undecorated room is evocative of Canada. Veronica points to a postcard of a moose, does some lame "aboot"-ing, and then plays my least favorite song in the entire world, "One Week" by Barenaked Ladies. She and Mac do commit to doing a dorky dance to it, which lets my will to live hang on by a thread. Actually, if that car campaign a few years ago that used that song didn't kill me, maybe nothing ever will. But if that's the price of immortality, I'd have to say: not worth it. Anyway: the girl, with some amusement, closes the door, and Parker asks why they're doing this all of a sudden. Veronica takes great pleasure in explaining to a giddy Parker what happened with Bronson, and Mac, trying to deflect the attention, says that maybe Piz will show up. Parker sighs that she's so over Piz, and speculates that maybe he has a girlfriend back home. Veronica goes all shifty-eyed for a second, but Parker plows on that she's ready to be wooed. She should call Taylor Hicks. I hear he's not too busy. Veronica says she supports Parker, but doesn't want to join in the manhunt. Parker, though, as you'd expect, gives Veronica a pep talk about what a catch she is. Veronica: "Are you saying we ought to...mingle?" Hee. Parker agrees that, verily, they should get back in the saddle.
Mingling, Canadian-style. People having a good time. People not having a good time, and by "people," I mean "Veronica." She's talking to a broody, dressed-in-black guy, who's whining about his ex-girlfriend or something. It's too bad about Bones, because a Boreanaz cameo would have been perfect here. Veronica spies Mac and can't get over to her fast enough. Mac says that she's bailing, though, and Veronica sadly realizes that Bronson didn't show. Veronica loudly announces that Canada is closing, citing "border-control issues." Hee. ["Canada's closing? It must be 8:30. I kid! It must be 6." -- Wing Chun] Mac smiles gratefully. Also, the horrible song is still playing, and even someone with my undying hatred of it has to admit that that's hilarious.
Later, Veronica is gamely talking to another guy. He asks her what she does for fun. Veronica: "I don't...really know." Hee. Veronica starts saying that her hobby is more like a job, but that it's fun sometimes. Unfortunately, she's already lost the jerky guy, who's staring at some other girl across the room. Veronica gets this look like "That's what I get for trying to talk to people." I know you don't want to hear many more words, Veronica, so I'll keep this short: indeed.
Mac's got headphones on and is reading when someone taps her on the shoulder. It's Parker, who's escorted Bronson in to see her. Mac's face lights up, and that's certainly both nice and overdue. Parker exits gracefully.
Later, Parker runs into Veronica, who reports the score: "Boys, zero. Me, zero." She declares her intention to turn in (I guess she's staying over), but Parker tells her that their room is off-limits at the moment, since Bronson showed up an hour earlier. Veronica cutely takes Parker's arm.
In Canada, Bronson is saying his goodbyes. After some environmentalist-related banter, he leans in for a kiss, but Mac pulls away. At least the geography is fitting. ["Really? I have heard from Europeans that Canadian girls have an international reputation for being kind of slutty." -- Wing Chun] Mac almost reflexively apologizes, but Bronson takes the rejection well enough. He's probably just happy that she didn't spit on him. When he's gone, Mac looks forlorn.
Beach. Dick and Logan have their surfboards, and Dick says that some waves and beer will be just what Logan needs. A voice calls to them, and...oh dear. I didn't want to have to do this, because I think David Tom has been really good as Chip, but the wetsuit pulled down to the waist is not the look for him. Frat boys may drink beer, David, but they also do bench presses as a general rule. I'm just saying. Logan suggests that they get with the surfing, but Dick takes time to note three girls going into the water. Chip opines that they didn't bring enough beer to make the girls hot. Yeah, I'm not sure you're the one they're checking out, Chip. Dominance displays aren't usually won by the guy with the biggest boobs.
Night. Mac, Parker, and Veronica are walking up a street, dressed up for a casual evening out, but Veronica and Parker each have an unwilling Mac by an arm. Heh. She exposits that Parker nabbed Bronson's driver's license when she playfully "checked his ID," which Parker says was creating an excuse for Mac to see him again. If Parker saw that far ahead, she's gotten to know Mac even better than I thought. As they march up to Bronson's door, Parker exhorts Mac to have some guts, and Veronica tells her that Bronson's "a regular vegan JFK looking for his Mac-kie-O." I'm going to go out on a limb and say that that line doesn't quite work. Anyway, they knock, and some hot girl answers the door, accompanied by wocka-wocka music. Bronson appears right after, with no apparent awkwardness, unlike the three girls facing him with such rigid facial expressions that you'd be forgiven for thinking Medusa answered the door. But Mac snaps out of it and hands Bronson his ID with a fake smile. She turns to go, but Parker subtly blocks her way, and Bronson invites them in, introducing them to "Amy," whom he claps on the shoulders in what actually is a pretty brotherly way. I'm surprised that they didn't figure out the real deal sooner, given Bronson's complete openness here. He shows them a letter from a cosmetics company, which says that the company is quitting animal testing due to PHAT's campaign. He then looks at Mac pretty adoringly, and asks where they're off to. Mac: "Club...Club. It's new." Heh. Mac goes off to get a glass of water, and Veronica, after another appraising look at Amy, sincerely congratulates Bronson.
Mac walks down a hallway, turns and looks into a room, and gets a concerned look on her face.
Beach. Logan admits that he's having a decent time, and then the three girls from earlier appear and ask if they have any more beer. Chip amends his earlier opinion to say that the girls are hot enough. Amazing what seventeen beers can do for your vision. One girl asks what they've got, and Logan looks into the cooler and slightly glassily tells her, "Apparently we're into the cheap stuff." Just wait a scene or two.
Bronson tells Veronica and Parker that if they get bored of "Club Club" (hee), they should come by "Goldfinger's"; he tends bar there. Dude, you're adorable, but you look TWELVE. (The actor was apparently born in 1983, which is seriously beyond belief.) Parker, still trying to parse the situation, asks Amy if she hangs out there, which gives Mac cover to return and surreptitiously tell Veronica to go look in the back. Veronica asks to get a glass of water too, and soon she's discovering the missing rodents. She sighs, "Rats." Yup, I'd say so.
Veronica returns and fakey-fakes enthusiasm about the rats, asking where the monkey is. Bronson says that he doesn't have the monkey, and what's more, he didn't liberate the rats -- they just showed up in a box at his doorstep. He didn't find it unusual, since "people know [he's] the animals guy. It happens." Surprisingly, no one looks around to see if there's a stray python or hyena running around. Instead, Veronica asks to see the box in question.
Cut to Veronica pulling out some shredded magazines from inside the box as Parker pointedly tells Bronson that Amy seems nice. She's not easily distracted from the important issues. Veronica asks how long Bronson and Amy have been together. Bronson: "Nineteen years. She's my sister." This felt a little cheap and beneath this show to me, but you can't have everything. Plus, Amy's probably the killer, so they had to work her in somehow. Anyway, Parker's like, "Ohhh, riiiiiight!" and gives Mac an adorable little "EEEEEE!" look. Mac doesn't look as psyched, because she's been on the show a lot longer, and therefore knows that just because people are brother and sister doesn't mean they're not sleeping together. Veronica stuffs some of the shreds into her bag as Mac awkwardly asks if she's going to tell Pauline and Gil about the rats. Veronica, not without sympathy, says that they're clients, and that she kind of has to. Aw.
In Logan's car, the girl from earlier pops up from his lap and gives him a quick kiss. I thought she was going for something else there, and given that it's Logan, it wouldn't have surprised me one bit. As he refastens whatever was unfastened, she tells him that she can't believe she just did that "with Aaron Echolls's son." I'd think that mentioning his dead dad would be a good way to kill his enthusiasm, but given that he already looked like he enjoyed their escapade about as much as he enjoyed his last root canal, it's probably a moot point.
Veronica is showing Gil and Pauline the pictures she took of the rats, but tells them that Bronson said he didn't have 25. Pauline notes that they can get a search warrant, and then Veronica is interrupted by a call from Mac, who tells her that she found something interesting in the hard drive. Let me guess: monkey porn?
Sacks shows up with a warrant to search Bronson's place.
Veronica enters Mac's room, and Mac starts babbling that she removed the RAM card from the computer to let it dry out. Veronica, however, has bigger, nerdier fish to fry, saying that the cops raided Bronson's place and found nothing. Given that it was just Sacks strolling around there, I think "raid" is an overstatement, although he certainly was wearing his most official-looking mustache. Mac adorably says that she didn't want Bronson to get into trouble, and that she believes his story. Veronica sighs, but she was already kind of over it before she entered the room. Mac hands her a plastic baggie and says that she found the contents on the motherboard. Veronica: "Looks like little leaves." See, I'm not the only one who's doing it today. Mac asks if she thinks it means anything, and Veronica smiles.
Veronica goes to see Nipples of Steel, shows her the bag, and asks if she knows where the leaves might have come from. You'll notice that she doesn't actually accuse her of sabotaging the hard drive, which is a welcome change indeed. NOS tells Veronica that the leaves are green tea. As Veronica disbelievingly repeats that, NOS grabs a container of moist towelettes off a shelf, exposing a plastic banana squeaky toy. NOS confesses that she stole it off 25's cage on a weekend, since the sound was driving her nuts. Veronica puzzles over that...
...and we cut to her inspecting Pauline and Gil's space. She quickly finds and opens a container of leaves. From the look on her face after she smells it, she's located the green tea. Ironically, she does not seem soothed.
Later, Veronica has reassembled the magazines as VMVO tells us that all she found was "near-naked ladies"...
...and then Gil returns home to find Veronica waiting for him. He tries playing dumb at first, but Veronica, handing him the banana, sympathetically tells him that she heard 25 behind the door. So to catch up: the presence of the toy alerted Veronica to the idea that someone in the lab regarded 25 as more than a research experiment. My personal favorite touches? Gil's leering at NOS, which made the magazines seem in character, and the fact that a person working on cholesterol experiments drinks green tea, which is thought to lower cholesterol. Gil squeaks the banana into the last commercial break.
Cut to inside Gil's apartment, where Veronica is fondly watching the monkey dance around happily. I should say that, as mentioned in the forums, this monkey not only looks like Marcel, Ross's pet monkey on Friends, but actually is Marcel. And I just bumped the grade up for this episode because of that, because it occurs to me that this is the show's subtle way of getting us ready for the inevitable "WE! WERE ON! A BREAK!" conversation between Logan and Veronica. Veronica mentions the tea, and Gil clarifies that it's actually Pauline who drinks it, but Veronica goes on to reconstruct the whole thing, noting that Gil knew he could pin the break-in on PHAT. Gil and Marcel are busy being adorable, though, and Veronica can't help smiling. Gil explains that he started catching up on lab work on the weekends, so he bought Marcel a few toys with which to play while Pauline the buzzkill wasn't around. Soon, he was attached: "Veronica Mars, meet Oscar." Aw, Gil, my heart just grew three sizes. Can you find me a pill to treat that?
Veronica enters the lab, and Pauline introduces their crusty professor. After a quick look at Gil, she returns Pauline's check and says that she wasn't able to find the monkey. Pauline doesn't blame Veronica, but is hella pissed at PHAT. Veronica does offer that Mac was able to recover most of the hard drive, but the professor expresses his displeasure. He muses that, however, the data will be useful as a comparison if they can rush-order another monkey. Veronica blanches, but the guy obliviously notes, "Science marches on." Well, Veronica, at least you've learned a valuable lesson: twenty-six isn't your lucky number.
Mac goes to see Bronson at his ancestral estate. (No, seriously, is he living at home? That would make sense with the sister, and yet the lack of parents seems odd.) Anyway, Mac knocks, and gives it all of 1.3 seconds before turning around to go. Heh. Fortunately, Bronson isn't feeding the cougar or anything, and opens the door and happily calls her name. They're completely dorky and adorable together, and Mac babbles at him and he just enjoys it, and she invites him on a date the night, and then they both try to downplay how excited they are, and then she turns to go and he gives an even more adorable "YES!" smile at the sky, but that isn't the best part, because Mac comes back and totally lays one on him. You guys? My heart really did grow three sizes there. Don't tell anyone.
It's Chili's product-placement time. Veronica buys something, and then she sees Piz in his booth. They smile and wave at each other...
...and then they're sitting together in the almost-empty cafeteria. Piz is telling some music-related war story. They commiserate over not being into casual hook-ups, and the scene just from the humor and banter seems like it should be going one way, and yet if you watch the actors, you see how much Piz is trying to connect with Veronica, while Veronica, though very subtly, is a million miles away. Excellent work here. Anyway, they agree that going for the person you really want is good, and then Piz smiles big, thinking he's won her. Well, Piz, in an episode filled with windshields, someone had to be the bug...
...because the thing you know, Veronica shows up at Logan's door. They look at each other sadly and longingly, and then Veronica's in Logan's arms and they're making out, and Logan boots the door closed with his foot. Hate to interrupt the romance with practicality, but watch out for Dick and that Polaroid.
In a bar, Keith has just made some selections on the jukebox, and sits at the bar to order a Scotch. to him is a depressed- and haggard-looking Landry. Keith strikes up a conversation about women, and tells Landry some story about how this guy was stalking some woman he was dating, so he tried to light the guy's car on fire. Keith's efforts here are about as subtle as his machinations in the fictional story, so it's nice that Landry puts an end to the charade by telling Keith that he read his book. "All the way to your picture in the back." Hee. ["Me, watching in an otherwise empty room: 'Well, SERIOUSLY.'" -- Wing Chun] The interesting question is whether Landry connected Keith and Veronica. It seems almost impossible that he wouldn't have. Landry tells Keith that he didn't kill Dean Ed, and then mentions that he wrote a book too: "Maybe you should check it out." Considering that it was mentioned in the first episode of this season and yet sat on a shelf during the whole serial-rapist arc, I wouldn't get my hopes up. Landry fixes Keith with a steely look, and leaves.
Mars Investigations. Keith tells Mindy that he'll take the case. She thanks him, and asks what made up his mind to do it. Keith: "Just...Scotch." Mindy doesn't look reassured by that answer, which might be the teensiest bit understandable.
Cafeteria. Veronica's alone at a table when Piz enthusiastically joins her and offers to buy her breakfast. Veronica's all with the "..." until Logan appears, sets down a tray of food in front of her, and asks Piz what's new. Piz -- trying to fake a smile and failing miserably -- responds, "Nothing, apparently." Logan, you did kind of set him up for that one. To what I think is their credit, neither Logan nor Veronica pretends not to notice the meaning of Piz's words, and they don't try to stop him from leaving. Aw, Piz, you could use some cheering up. I know where you'll be able to find a monkey in a few days. Veronica and Logan watch Piz go, and we fade out.
time: a girl with a heart of gold! I won't be recapping her, though -- I'm out for two weeks. Be nice to Keckler, or she'll boil you in oil.