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We open at a big party. Mac (I know!) asks Piz if he's seen Veronica. But our girl is elsewhere, running desperately, only to fall at the feet of, presumably, the rapist. So we rule Piz out in the first thirty seconds...before cutting to two days earlier. Logan and Veronica finally have the scene that was in the the previews, like, eighteen episodes ago, and Logan doesn't drag it out, as he emotionally breaks up with her, although he tells her that he'll always be there for her. It bears a lot of analysis, but you'll forgive me for saving it for the recap. The Liliths are celebrating the demise of the Greeks. However, some very powerful alum leans on Dean Ed to reinstate the Greek system, and before you know it, Dean Ed is on Piz's radio show spouting technicalities and caving to the alum's wishes. The frats have a big celebration, while the Liliths pelt Dean Ed's car with spit and eggs, giving us the episode title. In other Dean Ed news, he and Weevil bond over boxing and the fact that Weevil fixes his TV. Also, Dean Ed hires Keith to see whether his wife is having an affair. Keith would save himself a lot of work if he kept more open communication with his daughter. Veronica eventually tells Keith about Mindy and Landry herself, and Keith breaks the news to Dean Ed, who's absolutely devastated. He gets real drunk and bonds with Keith, but when Keith takes off, Dean Ed pulls out a loaded revolver and goes to confront Landry and his wife. In other news, the rapist puts an ad in the paper saying that he'll pick his victim at the Pi Sig party. Parker, however, is distributing coasters that detect the presence of date-rape drugs, and Veronica takes a bunch of them to the party. She recruits Mac, Piz, and Wallace to help her, and also asks Moe, who's driving a golf cart, to call her if he picks up any incapacitated girls. At the party, Veronica has a run-in with Chip, and anyone who felt real bad for him last episode is probably cured of that at this point. Wallace runs up with the news that they've found a positive drink, and since the cups are all conveniently labeled, Veronica dispatches Logan to help the girl. But unfortunately, it was actually the girl's sister who took the drug, and she lives in Bennis Hall, so Veronica goes after her. Before she leaves, though, the Club Flush show comes on -- only Mercer was at the party. Oh, my. Does this mean...can it mean...YES! Mercer is the rapist, and I actually called it! That never happens! It rules! Veronica shows up and unsuccessfully tries to stun him, and they fight. Veronica manages to escape, leading to her running up to the point that we saw...only it's Moe, not Mercer, that she runs into. BUT! Moe turns out to be Mercer's accomplice, and Veronica gets drugged again on a sip of Moe's tea, but manages to escape and hide. Moe and Mercer find Veronica, though, and we sort of gather that Mercer has brainwashed Moe, hearkening back to Moe's statement about how the prison experiment changed his life. So things look bad for Veronica, but Parker hears her blow a rape whistle and saves her, and soon, Keith has apprehended both culprits. And finally, Dean Ed returns to his office to sleep, presumably not having killed anyone. But his window is pelted with eggs, right before his door opens and someone he seems to know is there. At the end, Weevil finds Dean Ed, seemingly dead. Cool ending! Now, what do you guys think is going to be the mystery? Want more? The full recap starts right below!
We open on a moving aerial view of a big, big party. We pan over to see Piz and Mac standing on a balcony or something with the Pi Sig (Pi Sigma Sigma seems to be the full name) in frame. Well, this explains why we haven't seen Mac in so long -- she was in the last place anyone would look for her. Mac asks Piz if he's seen Veronica, and he replies, "Not in a while..."
...and that is because Veronica is running, seemingly for her life. She runs up the stairs in the dorm, gets to the boys' floor, and desperately knocks on Wallace and Piz's door, calling their names, but sinks to the ground when they don't answer. Fatboy Slim's "Right Here Right Now" plays as she turns to her right and sees a pair of male legs to her. She looks up in fear to see who it is, and as she does, we see that she's got a nasty cut over her left eye. On the plus side, how dangerous could a guy wearing loafers be? Credits.
When we come back, it's "Two Days Earlier." In the middle of campus, the Lilith girls are ostentatiously celebrating the demise of the Greeks. Veronica watches as VMVO opines that if the Liliths' mission has been to protect women on campus, she's not sure this will help. Good thing that doesn't seem to be the case, then. VMVO adds that while the Greeks may be gone, there's still a rapist at large. Veronica sees Dick and Logan come out of a nearby building horsing around, and VMVO notes, "So the boy can still smile." As you imply, Veronica, he's kind of out of practice, so it's nice of you to stand up and wipe said smile off his face. You know, just so he doesn't strain anything. Veronica approaches them with a "Hey, handsome." Dick: "Not in front of the old man. He's the jealous type." Heh. After Dick moons the Liliths and Logan refers to him as a "master debater," Dick takes off. Veronica tries to be affectionate, but unfortunately for her, we have arrived at the scene that was shown in the promos weeks ago. Yes, Logan -- after gathering his courage and composure -- tells Veronica that he doesn't think he measures up to the person she wants him to be, and that he can't take feeling like a disappointment anymore. Veronica tries to tell him that she doesn't mean for him to feel that way, but Logan says that she basically said she won't let people help her, and he's not built to stand on the sidelines. Veronica, starting to get the idea that she's not going to sway him, nods in shock as Logan says, "I think we have a choice. I think we can take a tough but survivable amount of pain now, or stay together and deal with unbearable pain later." It's considerate of him to think of the forum posters that way. Also, I don't think I've ever seen Logan wear this much black before, which is a nice touch. Veronica bites her lip as Logan tells her he votes for the pain now, but that he's always there if she needs him. He kisses her on her stunned forehead, but then, seemingly taking her speechlessness for lack of affect, chokes out, "But you never need anything." He leaves, and it's nice of him to take the opposite tack as the promo department by making that short and sweet. Seriously, though, that was so...mature. Realizing that you can't change the person with whom you're in love is a hard, hard thing to do. But while he obviously feels incredibly hurt, Logan's doing his best not to blame Veronica, and that's even tougher. Of course, for those of you who miss the old Obligatory Psychotic Jackass, he's not dead yet, as a certain squad car in an awful lot of pain will soon attest.
Dean Ed's office. Weevil has just fixed the TV, and he and Dean Ed chat about boxing. Francis Capra's skin looks even worse to me, and although he seems a little thinner, I'm not sure I'm buying the explanation for his condition that was reported in the press. We'll see after the break, I guess. Weevil says the Dean doesn't have HD yet, so he'll come back when the receiver gets there. Weevil leaves just as Mindy enters, and she hands Dean Ed a set of car keys and explains that she needs to switch her minivan for his Volvo, since she just got called up to Sacramento on business. Dean Ed wonders why they can't send "Wally," but Mindy informs him that Wally is going as well. They agree that Dean Ed will take care of the kids, and Mindy says she'll be back the day by noon. At first I thought she was driving, which would make no sense, because it's at least eight hours to get to Sacramento from the San Diego area. More if you get pulled over, not that I once was in a car that got stopped on the 5 going 125 or anything. But if I had, my friend who was driving would have told me some lovely stories about having to go back to the San Joaquin Valley to go to court. Even if Mindy's flying, though, that seems like an awfully short trip. Anyway, just then, Dean Ed's assistant pokes her head in and says that there's a man waiting, but he doesn't have an appointment and won't put out his cigar. Mindy has taken the opportunity to make a hasty exit, and when Dean Ed follows suit, he sees the cigar-smoker, who's all, "We need to talk."
Cut back into the office, where we see that the cigar smoker is H!ITG! Jeremy Roberts, whom Buffy fans may remember as Kakistos from the episode "Faith, Hope, and Trick." I say they may remember him as such because he was wearing a prosthetic face, hooves, and teeth, which will tend to alter one's appearance a bit. Anyway, "Mel" tells us and Dean Ed that he's quite the financial contributor to Hearst, and that he remembers his Greek days fondly. Dean Ed looks totally emasculated. The minivan sure isn't going to help.
Food court. There's a cute moment where Veronica stares at her tray like it's her navel, and Mac and Wallace watch her anxiously until Mac can't take it anymore and calls her name. Veronica pipes up that she's fine; keeping up the brave face, she adds that she only told them about Logan because she figured they should know. Piz appears and babbles for a while, telling them to tune in to his radio show. His dialogue is endearing enough, but the "Shut. UP" looks on Mac and Wallace's face are awfully convincing, so I'm going to have to skip transcribing it.
Mars Investigations. Dean Ed has told Keith that Mindy doesn't kiss him like she used to, adding that they've been married six years. So wait -- her son, by Grieco, is nine, right? So that means they broke up, she decided to go to Hearst grad school, and she and Dean Ed met and fell in love all within a maximum of, let's say, three and a half years. I suppose we could conclude that she was in the accelerated program. Anyway, Dean Ed also mentions that he's seen Mindy wipe ranch dressing from Wally's chin, and there's a real gross joke in there given a later revelation, but I'll skip it in favor of pointing out that Patty Hearst did the same thing to Dean Ed in the last episode, so I wonder if there's something going on between them. Okay, that's kind of a gross joke too. Dean Ed asks Keith to see if Mindy and Wally are having an affair. Keith doesn't respond...
...but later, at home, Keith's writing a note as Veronica enters. He tells her he's off to Sacramento on an adultery case, but doesn't mention the players. Noticing that Veronica seems a little mopey, he asks if everything's okay, and she tells him about the breakup. Keith offers to stay, but Veronica brave-faces things, so he leaves...
...but later, in the shower, Veronica breaks down. You'd think after two years they would have gotten that thing fixed. Hey, at least when I make inappropriate jokes, I throw in good continuity. No wonder I like this show. But seriously: aw! The marshmallow isn't dead.
Piz's show. Some girl is complaining that Dean Ed shot down her proposal to make one of the Greek houses into a residence for devout Christian students. Hey, they could call it the "Crazy Christian Crib"! Can I have my own show now? Piz announces that, "as always," there's a chair for Dean Ed to defend himself, and just like that, Dean Ed appears. You'd think Piz would at least have had to say his name three times. Dean Ed sits and says he thought it was important to get the news out as quickly as possible: one of the trustees who voted (to abolish the Greek system, of course, or this wouldn't make sense) owns property on which several of the Greek houses are built. This is patently a conflict of interest, so his vote has been nullified, and under the university's charter, Dean Ed is allowed to cast the deciding vote in the event of a tie. Just like Dick Cheney would have been able to do if not for that pesky Virginia. But really, I'm glad to hear there's a tie-breaking system, since I complained about its absence last recap. However, this presumably means that Dean Ed was originally in favor of abolition, since otherwise, I assume he would have taken advantage of Selma Rose's disappearance to vote against it. Interesting. Anyway, Dean Ed reinstates the Greeks, and rushes on out of the booth. He could use the head start -- some of those Lilith girls look awfully speedy.
The frat boys are celebrating in much the same manner the Liliths were earlier. Shots of them doing so (including one of shirtless Dick) are intercut with Dean Ed watching them bemusedly from inside his car as Olivia Newton-John's "Have You Never Been Mellow" plays on his radio. I would have voted for "Xanadu," myself. I only admit that because sometimes it's good to remember that stereotypes often exist for a reason. Also, that song rules. Dean Ed's doing just fine with his tune, though, until he runs into the Lilith women, who pelt his car with eggs and literally shake it. This is probably the first time in a while he regrets not having had to take the minivan.
Cut to Dean Ed marching into his office and asking his assistant for a list of all the Lilith residents. His assistant, however, points out that Keith is waiting, and the two of them walk in together. Keith tells Dean Ed that all he has to worry about is his apparent lack of gaydar. Dean Ed: "I don't know what that is." Now, I'm not saying there aren't other people in the world that aren't familiar with the term, but as Venn diagrams go, I'm guessing those who aren't familiar with it and still listen to Olivia Newton-John represent a very tiny intersection indeed. Keith explains that Wally is gay, and mentions three bars Wally went to while Mindy was alone in her room. Dean Ed's ecstatic until his assistant comes in and shows him an ad in the paper from, ostensibly, the rapist, claiming that he's going to choose his victim at the Pi Sig party the night. Dean Ed looks to Keith, who just drops his gaze helplessly. Well, at least he did a tremendous job with your wife there, Dean Ed. How much more can you expect from him?
Veronica, who's suddenly chosen to start wearing her hair like Cleopatra, is motoring through campus when Parker calls to her from a Take Back The Night table.
Cut to Veronica disbelievingly repeating the ad copy and concluding that it's Nish's work. Parker, however, says that whether the message is fake or not, it's not deterring girls from going to the party, but they have been stopping by and getting special coasters from her that will turn red if touched with even a drop of a drink that has GHB or Rohypnol in it. Veronica asks if it's cool if she takes a bunch of them, but Parker tells her you can test ten drinks on one card, the implication being that she won't need that many. She also supplies Veronica with a rape whistle. Those are a great idea, although the potential for abuse is pretty high. I mean, when someone's walking one mile an hour in front of you on a crowded sidewalk, it'd be awfully tempting to use it.
Veronica is telling Dean Ed that he should require the Pi Sigs to make the coasters available to girls at the party. Dean Ed says he'll do just that, and barks at his assistant to track down Chip Diller for him. At least she knows she can skip the barber shop. Veronica says that she poked around at the FreePress office, but that they couldn't figure out how the ad made it into the paper, although they speculate it was changed at the printer. And this is a minor loose end that I'm not sure is ever tied up, but it does seem more likely that Veronica's supposition is correct and Nish planted the ad, given her experience at the paper. Dean Ed's all happy, which Veronica notices, and when she asks him about his giddy state, he says it's because Mindy is getting back from Sacramento, and he has something special planned. Veronica's face falls as she repeats, "Sacramento?" Geez, Veronica. I know it's inland, but it's not, like, Barstow. I'm kidding -- obviously she's suspicious of anything that's taking Mindy out of town. Also, though, this seems to show that Mindy's claim that she'd be back the day was a script error.
Landry is telling his class that he's a little scared to see them after reading their "Plan A Perfect Murder" papers, and that it's not just because half a dozen of them offed him. Veronica looks taken with Landry's charm, which seems awfully odd, given how they last left things. Then again, she is single now. Landry mentions that someone killed the sheriff, and Veronica looks around guiltily. Hee. Landry adds that there were three "A" papers, and that he'll be posting them on the class website. Lucky Tim then hands Veronica her paper, which is one of the three, but also has a note for her to see him. Landry congratulates the three A students: "You can get away with murder." They'll have to answer for the foreshadowing, though.
Cut to Veronica entering Tim's office. He's not there yet, so VMVO tells us she's going to check out his "creepy rape-investigation board." She sees a Pi Sig faceboard with Dick's, Chip's, and some other dude's picture circled. Tim enters, and Veronica asks him what's up with the marked men. They establish that they will not be sharing any information with regard to the rape investigation, and insult each other with '80s TV, Tim referring to them as Starsky And Butch, with Veronica opting for Cagney And Pasty. Given Tim's outburst later on, I would have gone with MacGruder And Loud. Tim then tells Veronica that he wanted to give her an opportunity to fix some of her syntax and bookmarking errors before the paper went up on the website. Veronica's response would no doubt be both intentionally ungrammatical and equally profane, but before we hear it, Tim looks at the door and asks Veronica if she's met his girlfriend. Veronica turns to see Bonnie, whose curved spine paled in comparison to the bent of her legs. She asks Veronica if they've met, and Veronica, after a pause, says she doesn't think so. She might have made Tim suffer here, but given what she was up to when her path crossed with Bonnie's, keeping quiet does seem like the least, er, messy course of action.
At home, Veronica's eating soup and mulling over the Tim/Bonnie connection when Keith arrives home. She quickly breaks the news about Mindy and Landry, and asks if Keith is going to tell Dean Ed. Keith heavily says that he'll have to. Aw, that sucks, Keith. But would it help you to know that Mindy and Landry really have something special together?
In Piz and Wallace's room, Moe is telling the boys that someone has been leaving a gift of sorts in one of the stalls in the boys' bathroom: "It's my amateur medical opinion that he's suffering from what must be a terminal disease." My money's on Glenn -- it seems so in character. Not to mention the fact that if Moe is right, we'll be rid of his K-Fed-loving ass soon enough. Wallace and Piz amusedly deny responsibility, and then Veronica enters and gives them a long speech recruiting them to go to the party, only to find that they're already planning to attend. She then asks Moe if he's going, and he says he is, in a sense: he's driving the Take Back The Night cart for the early shift. Veronica takes his phone and programs her number in, and asks him to call her if he sees any incapacitated girls or shady guys. She tells the boys she'll see them at 9 out front, and leaves. Piz: "What are we doing?" Wallace bemusedly shakes his head. Hee.
Veronica is now pitching the party to Mac. I've never worked in marketing, but I think that, relative to Piz and Wallace, Mac is what's known as a "tougher sell." In fact, she's not sure they'll let her in: "All the glitter has come off my 'Porn Star' tube top." Heh. Veronica says that she could really use the help, and literally gets on her knees and clasps her hands. Mac sighs, "Resistance is futile." That's a bit mainstream as sci-fi expressions go, but we've probably used up our quota of "frack"s for this arc.
On his way out, Dean Ed thanks his assistant ("Cora" is her name) for coming in on a Saturday. When he gets out in the hall, though, he sees Keith. At least he's smart enough to know that this can't be anything good...
...and back in the office, Keith has already broken the news, and is just detailing the evidence. Dean Ed, heartbreakingly, is nodding at all of Keith's points so as not to lose it right there, and wouldn't you know, they broke down any remaining resistance I had to Ed Begley Jr. here. If here were to die, I wouldn't even enjoy it! You know, totally hypothetically and all. Keith asks whether the dates Landry was in the Grand mean anything, and Dean Ed says that if he's not mistaken, they're the nights Mindy claimed to be at Junior League. It would be funny if she first came up with that excuse when she boinked Chip. In less amusing news, if you look at the paper when Dean Ed picks it up, you can see that his hands are shaking. Poor guy. Keith, for his part, given his recent hookup with a married woman, looks appropriately ashamed at seeing the dark side of adultery up close and personal.
Party. Veronica hands out coasters to her coterie and tells them to do their own thing, but if they see a girl who looks out of it, they should test her drink. Wallace asks what he should do if a cute girl asks him to dance. Veronica: "Dance! Just know that your libido caused some girl to get raped." Well, Veronica, as we'll soon see, dancing can actually be used to help your cause. And it can simultaneously be used to make viewers hyperventilate in hysterical amusement, so really, everyone's a winner. Wallace keeps up the sass until Veronica produces fake IDs for everyone as "thanks for helping" presents. Aw, seems like just yesterday she was making her friends spirit boxes. They're growing up so fast. They go to the entrance, which is being manned by Bird Dog (real name "Drew," according to sites that are supposed to know these things), the dude who "underestimated the sassy" last year. He recognizes Veronica, and calls her his "favorite drink-tosser!" I would have thought he'd remember her more for zapping him with the stun gun, but maybe someone else with whom he's more taken did that as well. Anyway, they have to show ID to the Hearst police, and everyone must buy either a beer cup for ten bucks or a soda cup for five. Piz giddily buys a beer cup, and the guy instructs him to write his name on it and not to share it with a minor. Mac buys a soda cup and, off Piz's look, is all, "Like I'm gonna drink in there." Heh. Veronica checks out the coasters the guy is handing out, and tartly asks where Chip is...
...and inside, she finds him talking to some girl. It looks like David Tom now just has a normal buzz cut rather that a silly-looking head cap, which is much appreciated. Veronica flips out at Chip, since the coasters are the garden-variety ones that don't actually tell you whether you should be getting your stomach pumped. Chip is his usual unctuous self, and I'm surprised Veronica resisted the urge to make a crack about shoving something up his ass. After this little performance, I think there would have been a little less righteous anger on his behalf. God, I love David Tom, though. Veronica exasperatedly leaves.
Some dude is singing "Sweet Caroline." Piz and Wallace notice some girl who's basically totally passed out with her arms around a guy on the dance floor. And here's the scene I was talking about, as Piz gets in front of the guy and starts doing his best Elaine Benes. Wallace takes advantage of the spectacle, but once he tests the girl's drink, he does a double-take when he sees just how bad Piz's "dancing" is. Hee. I really love Chris Lowell, because intentionally dancing quite this badly requires a certain level of commitment.
Bonnie is sitting on Dick's lap, drunkenly telling him how cute he is. Veronica comes over and asks where her boyfriend is, and Bonnie "cutely" slurs, "Do you see a ring?" After Dick rubs in the fact that Veronica and Logan are no longer together, Veronica snits that all she sees when she looks at them are "a couple of Petri dishes." I'd go so far as to say that even the denizens of Petri dishes have more complicated mating rituals than these two. Veronica urges them to use "lots and lots of protection," and leaves as the two of them slobber all over each other.
Mac is sporting a t-shirt that reads, "Ask me about my STD." Some dude, not getting the tone of her shirt-wearing, drunkenly compliments her on it. Oh, dude. If it weren't meant to keep people away, it would say "LOL!" immediately following. The guy offers her some whiskey out of his flask, which Mac accepts, only to test the drink and pour it out. She grins, "Thanks!" Chastened, the guy takes off, so now we're clear on exactly how much of a hint he needs.
Dean Ed, at the deep end of a fifth of something, asks how a man can sleep with another man's wife: "Is there no honor left?" Keith admits that there's less than there should be, and I'd add to his pain, but Veronica made him feel bad enough a couple episodes ago. Anyway, it's not clear how much they've had to drink, but Keith seems okay, while Dean Ed slurs that he's going to pass out on the couch. Keith, after flirting with opening a forty-year-old bottle of Scotch, accepts Dean Ed's instruction to open the cheap stuff. It fits in with this plotline, that's for sure.
Party. Piz and Wallace ask a girl about another girl who's flat out unconscious on the floor. The girl who can still talk says that they called the Safe Ride people already, and notes that they've arrived. Piz and Wallace turn to see Moe and Fern approaching, and if there's a better unwitting comedy team at Hearst, I'd like to know the two people involved. Fern hauls the girl away with a snitty comment, and Moe says not to mind Fern; she's always like that. Heh.
Keith, getting ready to leave, asks Dean Ed if he can drive him home, but Dean Ed sarcastically says that his wife has a Junior League meeting, so he'll just sleep there. Once Keith has gone, though, Dean Ed fishes around in his desk drawers and comes up with a revolver. Oh, Dean Ed. The candlestick is so much more distinctive, don't you think?
Party. Veronica sees Lucky Tim enter. He finds Bonnie with Dick and promptly flips shit rather loudly. I admit that at first I thought, along with many posters, that Bonnie might have been hooking up with the frat boys to aid Tim's investigation. But his freak-out appears to contraindicate that, as it doesn't seem like it would logically help him in any way. I could be wrong there, but it also seems like an awful lot of humiliation to fake, especially in front of what I'd guess is a fair number of Landry's students. Anyway, Tim shrieks that he knew about all the guys, an assessment which the circled pictures on the board would seem to corroborate, and adds that he cheated on her as often as she did him. Well, equality is an important component of a healthy relationship. Tim stalks off, and Bonnie ditzes, "Looks like I'm single." Shut up, Bonnie. Veronica walks past and sees Logan and Mercer. Her eyes meet Logan's, and after a moment, she sucks up the awkwardness and moves to them. Mercer jauntily greets her, but she gives him only a surface acknowledgement as she keeps her eyes fixed on Logan. Mercer makes to bail, and though Veronica tells him that's not necessary, he says he's got his show to do. He leaves, but before Logan and Veronica have a chance to discuss anything, Piz and Wallace appear with the news that they have a positive on a drink that was drugged, belonging to a "Kim Kaiser," who lives off campus by the marina. Veronica urgently tells them that all the victims were raped in their rooms, so Logan, whose car is closest, volunteers to go. Veronica resists for a moment, but accedes, and Wallace accompanies him.
Soon after, the guy singing finishes, and Veronica takes the mike and announces that anyone who knows Kim Kaiser should come see her, since she thinks Kim's been given a date-rape drug.
Neptune Grand. Mindy gives a shirtless Landry shit for always being stoned when they screw. Mindy, who's getting ready to go, gives Landry a kiss when there's a knock at the door. Mindy answers it, thinking that it's the room service Landry ordered, but she's shocked to see that it is, in fact, her husband. Dean Ed comes in and faces Landry. So much for tenure, Professor!
At the party, some girl comes up to Veronica and tells her that Kim actually lent her ID to her little sister Kerri, who left because she wasn't feeling well, and went back to her room in Bennis Hall. Veronica starts to move away as Mercer's Club Flush show comes on. She pauses, though, upon hearing a sound glitch (which I misreported in the recaplet, sorry about that), which means two things: One, Mercer's shows weren't actually live. And two, that revelation must mean he's actually the rapist. And three, I called that, so it FUCKING RULES! Okay, that's three things. Still. Veronica rushes into another commercial break.
Sheriff's station. A deputy tells Sacks they just got a bomb threat at one of the residential halls at Hearst, but Sacks says that happens all the time around finals, and that they should just let the Hearst police handle it. The deputy wonders if maybe he should check with Lamb. Sacks: "You want to call and wake him up?" Aw, Lamb's tucked in already? I wish we could see that -- he probably has the cutest little PJs!
By the way, we're meant to infer here that Veronica called in the bomb scare in an effort to get the law there. Which is fine, but I don't think it should have been her only action here. I mean, we know that there were Hearst police at the party -- are they so incompetent that it wouldn't have been worth getting them involved? And I know Logan and Wallace left the party on that false errand, but what about Piz and Mac? If Veronica couldn't find them, she couldn't have called them on the way? You'd think that after last year's season finale, Mac would be especially attentive to her phone. But I have to admit that at least this "Veronica is reckless" theme has been well-developed. I may not like it, but it's reasonably consistent.
Mercer enters the girl's room and closes the door. He turns on a light, looks around, and observes, "Unicorns? Really?" Really, Mercer. He says that he's going to need some mood music, and puts on the song from the cold open: "Techno has a bad reputation, but I think it's undeserved." I'm agreeing with a serial rapist. This is disturbing. He dances a little bit as he takes off his jacket, and wow, he's really enjoying this. That's insanely creepy. He sits on the bed, on which is apparently the comatose girl wrapped in a blanket, and tells her that, while he feels he could have picked her up in the usual way, he would have had to listen to her talk. He also tells her he's kind of sorry it has to be this way, since the sex is going to be great. And I have to say, I don't know anything about the typical profile of a serial rapist, or if it's even valid to claim the existence of such a thing. But I certainly buy Mercer as a megalomaniac, and for that reason, this speech works for me dramatically in a way that the whole Beaver reveal didn't. It makes sense for him to talk just to hear the sound of his own voice, so I don't mind this device for clueing us into his state of mind. And I've already detailed the ways in which the show gave us subtle clues as to Mercer's potential involvement from a procedural standpoint, but it occurs to me that his characterization so far fits this profile as well. I mean, the blithe way he talked about what happened in Mexico when, if Logan is to be believed, Mercer started that fire and ran as well? That alone, to me, painted Mercer as off enough that his actions here don't seem completely out of nowhere. The head-shaving makes sense too, in a power-tripping megalomaniacal way. The thing that doesn't make sense, though, is Mercer reaching for his clippers without putting gloves on. You'd think that after so much was made about there being no physical evidence at the crime scenes, we would have gotten a glimpse of Mercer taking some care here.
And speaking of carelessness, Mercer suddenly sees that the closet door is ajar, and something within doesn't look right. He opens it to see an unconscious girl sitting in it, presumably the real occupant of the room. It's too bad she's not awake to see the fight, because it's going to be great. Veronica emerges from the bed and tries to stun Mercer, but he manages to grab her hand, so he only gets a partial charge. Veronica tries to flee, but Mercer grabs her by the legs and drags her back in a horror-movie staple that's scarier than it probably has any right to be. She tries to yell for help, but he blasts the music, and then gets her to her feet and menacingly asks her what he's going to do with her, but she slashes him across the face with her nails. That's a pretty harsh answer to a rhetorical question. Mercer punches her and snarls, "That's my face, you bitch!" Considering it's Ryan Devlin we're talking about, he does have a point here. He goes to look at the damage in the mirror, which is a reasonably subtle touch that I absolutely love. Veronica hides under the bed, and Mercer comes to get her, but before he drags her out again, she grabs one of the many large unicorns in the room. As soon as she has a clear shot, she stabs Mercer in the leg with it. Ouch -- that's pretty rough, as far as penetration goes. Probably no worse than he's going to be getting soon enough, though. Veronica runs out...
...and then we revisit the cold open. And not only did it work well as a dramatic device, it enabled me to go on autopilot for thirty seconds. Ahh. We now see, however, that the feet belong to Moe, and Veronica breathes that Mercer is the rapist.
Cut to Moe's room, where he's on the phone with the police, or so the tea-sipping Veronica thinks. When he hangs up, Veronica points out that they can't wait to rescue the girl, so Moe tells her to stay there while he gets a bunch of guys and goes down there. When he's gone, though, Veronica looks at a posterboard on Moe's wall and sees a picture of Moe...with Mercer, in guard/prisoner attire to boot. Niiiice. I remember thinking earlier in the season that two culprits would make sense, but even after I came to suspect Mercer's involvement, I never quite put it together that he had an accomplice, so I find this twist very cool. A lot of posters called Moe's involvement for the correct prison-experiment reason, though, so kudos there. And the Patty Hearst cast looks even cleverer in retrospect. Veronica's vision starts to go blurry. Oh, DEAR. She falls back into her chair and drops the mug, which shatters. She manages to get up again and try the door, but it's apparently locked from the outside, which I don't buy at all, but maybe he jammed it some other way. Veronica staggers to the window, but even with the GHB Unsteady-Cam working overtime, she can see she's way too high up to consider jumping. She tries to call Keith, but he doesn't answer. If he's going to make a big deal about telling her he's only a phone call away, it seems like he really shouldn't be screening. Veronica then settles into the closet, or something, and grabs some kind of makeshift weapon as she hears Mercer and Moe enter the room. Sorry for the vaguery, but I've got an extremely dark scene on the one hand, and an upcoming seven-week vacation on the other, so you'll forgive me for heading into the last commercial break.
Mercer and Moe see the open window and jump to the erroneous conclusion that Veronica escaped by it. Moe apologizes, calling Mercer "sir," but Mercer smacks him in the face. Just then, though, Veronica's cell phone rings. She manages to cry, "Dad! Help!" but then the boys open the door. Mercer instructs Moe to get the phone, but Veronica takes the weapon, which looks like a blurry sledgehammer (please don't email me -- I'm on vacation), and whacks Moe's foot. Some people were wondering why Veronica seems a lot more in control than she did when she was drugged two episodes ago. My understanding is that the effects of GHB can vary tremendously with even a very slight difference in dosage, so that could be the reason why. Or it could be that it's hard to blow a whistle while you're unconscious. Moe stops whining about his foot long enough to ask Mercer what they're going to do, and Mercer tells him that they'll give her all their remaining GHB, and she won't remember anything about anything. Well, probably, given that she'll DIE. I have to say, too, that Mercer's comment that he has "plenty" of GHB makes me wonder why he's not serving time for intent to distribute. I mean, I know Lamb's not always the quickest on the uptake, but you'd think he might have been able to shift gears instead of letting Mercer go. While Moe and Mercer are bickering, Veronica manages to blow the rape whistle Parker gave her...
...and downstairs, Parker comes out of her room with a concerned expression on her face. Wow, I didn't know those things worked quite that specifically. It's Demian's birthday soon -- does anyone know where I could get him one that works on Jensen Ackles?
Mercer limps into his room and grabs the GHB. His return is blocked by Parker, however, who has figured out exactly what is going on and starts screaming bloody...well, rape. As about a billion people pointed out, it's widely accepted that it's more effective to cry fire in this situation. However, that's irrelevant in this case, as the hallway is soon filled with boys from the floor. It is a little irritating that the hallways earlier were so conveniently empty, but I'm not inclined to dwell on it. The finish line is in sight. Mercer and Moe look suspicious enough that everyone in the hallway knows something's wrong, although I will give Mercer points for his explanation of his injuries: "Pet cougar." He's a pretty cool customer for someone who's probably developing gangrene as we speak. Some guy in the hallway deduces that Moe's got someone in his room, which is Mercer's cue to bail, and Moe's to follow him like a lost puppy. And while it's true that he got stuck being brainwashed by a psychopath, at least he's not having to trail around after Rider Strong. When they've gone, Parker enters Moe's room and discovers Veronica.
You know, a lot of people had serious problems with the rape arc. The writers have taken an awful lot of heat for it -- "irresponsible" and "offensive" are words I've seen thrown around a lot. (Some people simply found it boring, but that's another story.) But while there were specific plot points that might have been done better, overall I have to say I don't agree with those assessments. Yes, the university's lack of response to the rapes was appalling. But the level of rape awareness on college campuses in general is similarly appalling, and I don't know that it would have been responsible to depict your typical patriarchal university as appropriately sensitive to rape when so few of them actually are. As for the portrayal of the frat guys, I think, if anything, real partier-type frat boys are generally worse than anything we saw. And the Liliths -- well, I can't blame them for being angry and desperate. As for faking rapes -- I agree that that's a tough sell, but I think it's at least more believable that they did it in an effort to get revenge for their friend rather than as a matter of general ideology. I liked that they had a specific reason to hate these specific frat guys. But even with the Liliths lacking nuance, as many posters pointed out, Parker getting to the point here where she saved Veronica was the true feminist journey, and I'd add that I think the show did the plotline a service by mentioning Take Back The Night so prominently here. I understand that a rape plotline against the backdrop of an unsympathetic, harsh noir world must necessarily lose some people, but I think this last handful of episodes was exceptionally well-crafted. This is all said with the admission that I know nothing about the experience of being raped, and I wish no one else did either. But I don't see the intention behind this arc as anything meant to trivialize or disrespect.
Dean Ed is sleeping in his office, presumably not having killed anyone. He's awakened, however, by a rain of eggs against his window. The door to his office opens, and he asks whoever's present what he or she is doing there. I know you just woke up, Dean Ed, so perhaps you'll allow me to suggest that your REVOLVER MIGHT COME IN HANDY ABOUT NOW?
Keith is chewing Sacks out for not following standard procedure about the bomb threat. Sacks apologizes and tells him that Lamb's on his way in to talk to him. Much like with the rape/fire thing, I think Sacks would be better advised to tell Keith something else. Veronica informs Keith, and us, that the phone she used to call him was actually Moe's, which would explain why Keith didn't answer it at first. But great -- now I'm going to have to start talking to telemarketers just on the off chance that a loved one of mine swiped her assailant's phone. Thanks, show. The point, however, is that Moe probably won't think to turn off his phone, so they can track him. I just hope he's not at the River Stix.
Somewhere outside of Neptune, Mercer nervously nods to Moe, and Moe takes a pair of scissors and pulls out the unicorn horn that's still lodged in Mercer's leg. Mercer yells long and hard, but then Keith busts in and grimly apprehends them. Poor Moe -- he didn't even get to hear Mercer tell him what a good boy he is. And I'll risk looking exceedingly creepy by saying I would have kind of loved to see that.
Veronica is telling her gang that Moe was Mercer's setup man -- he'd dose the girls and would give Mercer the master key he needed. Of course, it does seem like happenstance that none of the girls' roommates was ever home, but then again, it's possible some girls got drugged but not raped for precisely that reason. Veronica adds that Moe was the one that attacked her in the parking lot in order to provide an alibi for Mercer. Mac asks if Logan's been by. Veronica: "I haven't seen him."
But we're about to. Two deputies are sitting in the window of some diner when Logan comes into view and starts bashing their patrol car. He doesn't seem to be hitting it nearly as hard as Duncan did in an analogous situation, so those of us who never thought Teddy Dunn would ever out-act Jason Dohring are learning that there's a first time for everything. Seriously, I suspect Logan's saving his real HULK SMASH! moment for the scene...
...which is in a holding cell containing Mercer and Moe. Some posters pointed out the unlikelihood of conspirators sharing the same cell, and I must agree. Things get even more crowded when the door opens and Logan enters, fixing Mercer with a look of cold fury. From the way he's eyeing your leg, Mercer, I think you're going to have some trouble exercising your right to remain silent.
Weevil comes into Dean Ed's office and finds the Dean lying on his desk with what looks like dried blood all over one of his temples. Maybe someone got mad that so much of their tuition checks were going to his entertainment center. See you for the arc!