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Weevil's working at a car wash as part of his release from prison, and it's not going too well, so Veronica gets Keith to hire him instead. That doesn't turn out so hot either, so Veronica has to fire him. Well, it's hardly the only dirty work she does in this episode. She gets called in to the Dean's office, and the Dean just happens to be played by Ed Begley Jr., and I can only think that I must have written something at some point to offend the casting director something fierce. The article Veronica wrote in the last episode about the pot hasn't gone away, and Ed threatens Veronica with expulsion if she won't give up the Botany teacher's name. One wonders exactly how many Botany professors there are at Hearst, but maybe Ed wants to make absolutely sure he's going to the right guy when he tries to score some kind bud. Veronica gets out of this jam by busting Ed's son to him, and in the process scores Weevil a campus maintenance job. In other news, Piz is trying to impress this girl Trish, who runs the school radio station, so when her boyfriend, a football player, loses the team's playbook, Piz hooks him up with Veronica, who immediately gets busted posing at a cheerleader. At least it wasn't Madison who caught her. Piz gets his own radio show right before Veronica, after the typical red herrings, busts Trish for trying to get her boyfriend's scholarship withdrawn. She was only doing it to save him from the tyrannical coach, but Trish has lost the book. Meanwhile, Veronica gets pissy about Logan not wanting to do things other than have sex, or something. Through a series of semi-contrivances, Veronica gets distrustful of Logan, but he's not cheating on her -- he's participating in Hearst's underground gambling ring instead. Things come together when it turns out some dude stole the book from Trish in order to fix a Hearst football game. Logan and Veronica get in a fight over her spying on him, and I guess that's my fault for calling them functional in the last recap. Knowing that Logan's going on a trip to Mexico and knowing what often happens when he goes south of the border, Veronica installs a tracking device in Logan's car, but reconsiders at the last minute. Veronica confesses to Logan that she has trust issues, and they somewhat tearily stay together for a while. Also, another girl gets raped, but we won't know any details until time. Probably best, because...this episode? A bit fluffy for such awfulness. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Some football player is running steps in the stadium in full uniform as his coach suggests that instead of skipping meetings, he should just quit. I'm not sensing the coach is going to be recruited as an AA sponsor anytime soon. We pan up to a sunglasses-wearing Veronica as a VMVO clunkily transitions our way into the subject of protesting, which is Veronica's cue to look at her copy of the school paper, the Free Press, the headline of which reads, "Lilith House Protest Creates Controversy," atop a photo of several topless (with the naughty parts barred out) female students at a football game displaying a banner that reads, "We go to Hearst. Go ahead, rape us." I'll admit that that's a little more provocative than "Go Team." Logan appears, and after allowing Veronica to prove she's been attending classes by rotely reciting a speech that sounds ripped from her latest Women's Studies reading, the two of them walk out. A speaking bimbo with a non-speaking girl in tow tells Logan that she'll see him at some party, and informs him that he can bring his "friend" if he wants. Once they're gone, Logan explains to Veronica that the bimbos are from weightlifting class, and we've been together long enough that I certainly trust you to make your own dumbbell joke. Veronica somewhat tautly speculates about what they do in said class, prompting Logan to put his arms around her and ask whether she's jealous. Veronica: "'Jealous' would involve piano wire." Heh. She seriously says that she's somewhat annoyed, because when his "gym buddies" ask him to a party, he's there already, but when she wants to do something "interesting," he's busy. Well, if it's any consolation, Veronica, if you were the one inviting him to the party and the gym buddies were asking him to take in the auditory equivalent of Sominex, he'd probably favor you. She continues that in college, one is supposed to expand one's horizons "past video games and binge drinking." Oh, Veronica, this is Logan we're dealing with. And as you should know, given that you can't give up your taser or your rapier wit, you gotta dance with what brung you. Logan says he's willing to try something other than throwing up on his XBox, so Veronica suggests the "Art Major Group Show" that night. Logan, however, is busy because he has class until ten. Veronica does not say, "Call me sometime when you have no class," which is very sad for all Back To School fans. (What? No respect?) He suggests that she come by afterward so they can get "political." Yeah, James Carville always turns me on. Oh, that's not what he meant.
In the locker room, some football player goes to his bag. He does a charade that conveys that something is lost. Awesome -- now do Desperate Housewives!
Establishing shot of a car wash. And it's Weevil, wearing a jumpsuit and getting harassed by his dickish boss. Weevil is trying to leave; his shift ended half an hour earlier, but the boss won't let him go until the guy gets there. I suppose I'd better tackle this now: Francis Capra looks like he's gained about thirty pounds over the summer. But on top of that, although you have to look closely and most of the camera work is trying hard to hide it, he's got some serious acne problems not just on his face, but all over his head, and possibly even further than that. There's something about those two things together that strikes me as...well, odd, and a little disturbing, so I'm just going to hope he's all right and move on. Anyway, Weevil almost hits his boss before another guy intervenes, and then Veronica shows up to give him something else on which to concentrate. Exposition ensues that Weevil plea-bargained his murder charge down to assault, and now he's working at the car wash as part of his parole. Considering, as we've already seen, that Weevil seems to have a shorter fuse than Isaiah Washington on a particularly anti-Dempsey day, I'm thinking good behavior didn't play a big role in his release. Anyway, Veronica gets a call and tells us that she's being summoned to see the Dean, and then Weevil's boss gives him more shit, prompting Weevil to throw him against a vending machine, the glass of which he then breaks with his fist. Veronica watches and wonders if California's three-strikes rule applies to series regulars.
In a school building, Piz is babbling to some attractive brunette that he doesn't want to be one of those "emo-rocker guys." Need I make a comment about his hair? As they walk into the college radio station, he goes on -- very needily and with a lot more movement than is necessary -- that his band is awesome and they're called Black Licorice because they're dark and moody and candy and Piz? You know I like you, but...they've made great advances in decaf since I was your age. You might want to look into that. The brunette, also tiring of the excess energy, asks Piz exactly what he's pitching, and it's a cultural and political affairs show -- "like Jon Stewart meets Crossfire, if Jon Stewart didn't hate Crossfire." Heh. The football player from earlier enters and asks "Trish" if she saw a binder in his room that morning. She says no, and asks what's wrong. Football Dude: "It's nothing. I'm just dead." I was totally going to guess that! Dude, you're good.
Ed Begley Jr. is using a pool cue to bang on the vent in the ceiling of his office. Now, I have to admit that Ed was awesome on Arrested Development, but I still haven't forgiven him for Six Feet Under or Jack & Bobby. I can't promise an open mind, but it'll be at least slightly ajar. Which, given how many things escape from it, is probably its normal state anyway. Ed high-handedly complains about the school's inability to keep the air-conditioner running, and wonders whether it's a statement on the human condition. Veronica: "I'm a freshman. I only recently figured out where Waldo was." Hee. Ed hops down, knocking over a photo, which Veronica picks up. She asks, "Your kids?" but Ed testily corrects her that it's his wife, stepson, and son from a marriage. He adds: "Mrs. O'Dell was my grad student back when we could do things like that." She must be pretty precocious to have gone to grad school at the age of nine. Ed congratulates Veronica on her article. Veronica tries to tell him that the editor "took some liberties," and that's a particularly apt choice of phrase considering how many freedoms Ed's about to trample. He tells her that he wants the name of her source and that of the faculty member that supplied the pot seeds. Veronica starts to give the standard protected sources speech, but she might be better served simply to ask HOW MANY BOTANY TEACHERS THERE CAN BE AT A SMALL UNIVERSITY? I suppose Ed wants to prepare his case, but it's not like testimony from Marjorie would be enough to prove anything. Anyway, Ed threatens Veronica with expulsion if she doesn't give up the name, and I'm really glad to see that he isn't wasting time on that pesky rapist when there are diminutive freshmen to illegally intimidate. Also, maybe I'm being hopelessly naïve, but...can he really do that? And how much more bad publicity can he afford? Credits.
Library. Veronica's peacefully studying as VMVO informs us that she refused to give up her source, so Ed gave her a week to change her mind. I'm not loving the solely expository VMVO here. Maybe talk about your plan not to get expelled, or at least throw in a comment about how bad Ed's hair is. Piz appears, and informs Veronica that he's trying to impress Trish, so he needs her help...
...and we cut to a little library meeting with Trish and the Football Dude. Football Dude, by the way, is giving me this vague young-Judge-Reinhold vibe. I'm not really sure what to make of that, but I'll definitely keep an eye on him for signs of close talking. Also, he looks like he's wearing a lot of eyeliner, so clearly he's the rapist. Mystery solved! Judge Football is telling Veronica (and Piz, although his presence hardly seems necessary) that the team's playbook isn't supposed to leave the sports complex, but he missed a few team meetings for academic reasons, so he borrowed it, and now it's gone. Moreover, they change out the book every Monday, and if he doesn't turn in his copy, his scholarship will be revoked. Veronica tells Judge Football her fee is five hundred bucks, causing Piz to tap her and exclaim that that's what she charged him on her friends' rate. Veronica: "It was my friends of friends rate, which I have now extended to friends of friends of friends." Heh, but it's starting to look like just about everyone in Neptune would be able to claim that rate. Except for Lamb, for obvious reasons. Judge Football agrees to the fee, and the group speculates that the book was stolen, either by another team or, as Trish suggests, by someone who wants him off the team. Judge Football explains that he sustained an injury that's limited his playing time, which makes him a "waste of a scholarship," so that could be why someone's targeting him. He tells Veronica that the book was in his bag the whole time he had it: "I never unzipped it until today." Well, if he didn't even bother studying the plays, the stated reason he took the book in the first place, perhaps the people who would cry "Waste of a scholarship!" have more of a point than even they realize.
Over a yellow, strobe-like flashback that frankly hurts my eyes, Judge Football tells Veronica he had the bag all night -- he and Trish went to the art show to see her friend Larry's work, then he went back to his room, and his best friend from the team "Pop" -- that's "Brian Popovich" -- came by to play Guitar Hero. Piz and Judge Football then dork out about how much the game rocks. I will have to take their word for it, as I am getting old, if the Judge Reinhold reference wasn't enough of a clue. Also, if we're really supposed to think that this guy is so serious about his scholarship, perhaps telling us he wasted an entire evening playing a video game instead of studying the playbook is information that could have been held back. The headache-back resumes as we see two cheerleaders walk in on Pop and Judge Football playing the game, bringing popcorn for Pop. "Cheerleaders are clever that way." Heh. Trish pipes up that if he loses the scholarship, they'll figure something else out, because his grades are great and she's got "the whole Pell Grant thing" figured out. Pell Grant, eh? Those must be rather new, considering they weren't around when Veronica was applying to Stanford. Judge Football says that's great, but he's not too psyched about the idea of being thrown off the team. Veronica suggests perhaps getting a new playbook is the way to go.
At night, Dick and Veronica run into each other. They strike up a casual, pleasant conversation, which seems so entirely in character. I mean, they got along well enough to begin with before they had Beaver's death to really cement their friendship. Anyway, Veronica asks Dick what happened to the class that he's supposed to be in with Logan at the moment, but Dick says that the professor didn't show up after the class waited five minutes, so he walked. Veronica asks where, then, is Logan. Dick: "Nailin' other chicks?" That wasn't very nice, considering they're bosom buddies and all. I hope he apologizes before their study date.
Chez Mars. Veronica notes that Keith seems busy, and officiously speculates about how much work he must have now that she's not around to assist. She suggests he take on "Eli Navarro" as an assistant. Keith is all, "Weevil?" and Veronica flinches, because she's learned the hard way that calling people by their nicknames inevitably causes them to commit mass murder and gory suicide. Keith is adamantly against hiring Weevil until Veronica busts out a pouty-faced stare.
Cut to Weevil answering the phone at Mars Investigations. Heh. After some phone-related hijinx not worth transcribing, Keith gives Weevil an assignment regarding a security guard at a shoe warehouse suspected of embezzlement. Weevil accepts the stakeout.
Veronica is wearing a field-hockey uniform and limping her way inside the stadium as VMVO tells us that Judge Football ("Kurt" is his thankfully short real name) told her that the playbooks are printed out on athletic department stationery with ID numbers that change from week to week, so replicating the lost book is a bit more of a production than she thought. We cut to her infiltrating the office of a "Dwight Fry," who's the guy who was torturing the player in the opening shot. Even though I thought he was supposed to be the coach, and Veronica in fact refers to him as such later in the episode, his office doorplate bills him as "Defensive Coordinator." Okay. She quickly finds the correct file on the computer, but soon VMVO is complaining, "World's slowest printer." On the bright side, Veronica, should you fail in your mission, you'll know what to suggest the department spend Kurt's scholarship money on. Also, it looks like the team is named the "Rough Riders," which would be unfortunate enough in a season where rape wasn't a prominent theme. Anyway, Veronica sees someone coming, so she's forced to duck under the desk. The coach enters with one of his players, and it will simplify things if I just tell you right now that this is the aforementioned Pop. Pop tells the coach that "Sonoma" made him a scholarship offer. Fry starts to protest, but just then, the printer finishes processing the job and starts up. Fry gets way more bent out of shape about this than seems warranted, and soon discovers Veronica under the desk. Veronica jumps out, squealing in "embarrassment" while blatantly kicking out the printer plug, and explains that her sorority told her she had to break in and steal a jock -- "The little underwear, not, like, kidnap an athlete!" She asks to borrow one for an hour or two. Fry just stares at her, no doubt realizing that if this is a Sixteen Candles rip-off, that makes him the Molly Ringwald. Which is enough to cause anyone some serious chagrin.
Veronica's back in Ed's office, and the man in question informs Veronica she now has "the most colorful disciplinary file in the freshman class." Ed, your hyperbole might be more effective if we all didn't know Dick. They spend a little time discussing whether Veronica will give up her source, which doesn't really progress beyond the level of "Will not." "Will so!" It's no wonder that Whig-Clio gave Hearst a pass. This fascinating argument could go on for hours, but just then, Nish, Fern ("Sunshine" from last week) and some other equally humorous girl bust in, trailed by two guys both dorky and smug whom Fern labels "Lampoon jackasses." And here I thought I gave up watching Studio 60. Anyway, Nish asks if Ed is going to stop the "idiots" from publishing their "misogynistic rag." Veronica gets up to go, but one of the idiots shows Veronica a copy of his rag and asks if it upsets her. It's a parody of the photo we saw earlier, but with shirtless guys instead of girls, in front of a banner that says, "No thanks, except maybe the blonde in the middle." Yes, in the middle of the guys is a blonde girl who was in the original photo, whose name is "Claire," and just so happens to be the third girl in the office. Nish tells Claire that the guys want to rape her, and that's hate speech. Ed informs them that while the magazine in question may be tasteless and not funny, it's covered under the university's free speech policy. And firmly defending the right to free speech in the same breath he told Veronica he'd expel her for protecting a source is the sort of hypocrisy I've come to expect and hate from old Ed's characters here. Anyway, Ed has more important fish to fry -- someone sprayed graffiti on his car and bashed it with a bat. Fern denies responsibility, and one of the idiots pipes up, "Where would militant feminists get a hold of a softball bat?" Okay, heh. The argument quickly devolves into shouting, and Veronica makes a graceful, if belated, exit.
Outside, Logan pulls up and hops out of his car. It's true that I think Veronica's reasons for being mad at him are pretty flimsy so far, but even if they weren't, I'd think the fact that he's ditched the horrid yellow abomination in favor of a black Range Rover would mean that just about everything past, present, and future would be forgiven. Veronica mentions that Keith told her she has a thing for bad boys, probably in reference to Weevil, and segues into bringing up what Dick told her about the five-minute walk, but Logan replies, "Dick's idea of five minutes is like, one. Ask Madison Sinclair." That certainly jibes with her comment about moving on to "longies." And now that I'm cross-referencing Madison's sex life, I think I'll finish up quickly so I can go join Beaver on the pavement. After some debate about whether Logan's a bad boy, he suggests that they see if Noam Chomsky might be reading the Havana phone book that night. Heh. Veronica says she'll be stuck at work, but he's welcome to drop by, and Logan agrees that a "G-rated booty call in the library" could be on the menu. Geez, even Ross Geller went a lot further than that in the stacks.
Veronica is knocking on Mac's door, but there's no one there. A blonde girl tells her that Mac and Parker left wearing workout gear. I'd guess a self-defense class? Not that I wouldn't love to see Mac doing jazzercise, but it seems slightly less likely. Kurt, who's approximately eighteen feet taller than Veronica, and Trish appear, and Veronica fills them in on the fiasco with the printer. They pedeconference until they go into Trish's room to discover that someone's left a painting on her bed. Trish thinks it must have been "Art Show Larry," as they went out the year before. Kurt is somewhat displeased that Larry is semi-stalking his girlfriend (and nice security, with the rapes and all), and more so that Larry wrote her a poem in which he referred to Kurt as a "meathead." Kurt: "'Meathead'? I thought he liked me." Heh. Trish informs him that Larry doesn't so much like him as hate him, and Veronica suggests that maybe Larry's the one that stole his playbook. Kurt looks confused and constipated -- I mean, "does his best Duncan imitation."
Weevil has taken a bunch of photos, and is convinced that it's not the security guard who's stealing, but the driver. Keith is bored, because he's gained his reputation as a great PI by always taking things at face value. So Weevil has to take Keith through the photos one by one, explaining his reasoning like Perry Mason talking to a dimwitted juror, until Keith is forced to admit that Weevil did some good work. Weevil's all punchy from glee and lack of sleep, so Keith gives him another assignment involving possible abuse, but orders him to get some sleep first. And if he doesn't get enough, he can always asks Piz what place in town has the most potent coffee.
In the college art room, Veronica finds the Larry dude, briefly seen in the flashback earlier. If you missed him, it's understandable -- I only caught a brief glimpse in between seizures. Anyway, Larry looks like a much less good-looking Kurt Cobain, which is probably all you need to know about him. Veronica, in an obnoxious way that almost seems designed to ensure the least cooperation possible, calls him out about the painting and bad poem he left for Trish. Anyway, as Larry points out, getting Kurt kicked off the team would probably lead to him spending even more time with Trish. "Great theory. You are clearly a genius." Veronica counters that Kurt would lose his scholarship and have to leave, and Trish would be free to "cry on your bony-assed, paint-spattered shoulder." So much for anyone from the NEA watching this show. Larry, exhibiting more patience than perhaps I'd expect, tells Veronica he's just a painter. Veronica: "Yeah, well. So was Hitler." Wow, there's nothing we at TWoP like more than an offhand Hitler comparison. As if I wasn't loving Veronica's character enough already this season!
Veronica busts in to see Kurt and examines his bag for oil paint. She doesn't find any, but she does come across a piece of popcorn, like, nice to have examined it before you went psycho on the hapless painter. Veronica repeats something Kurt said earlier about Pop having walked onto the team, and suggests Pop as a suspect on the grounds that Kurt's scholarship could theoretically go to him. Kurt doesn't believe Pop would have done that, and also thinks Pop would simply have trashed the playbook, leaving them no proof. Veronica suggests blackmail, and at Kurt's look, is all, "Please. I've only done this a million times." If that were true, hon, you'd be in syndication already.
Veronica sends Kurt an email from "The Retriever" as a pointless VMVO concurrently plays. VMVO goes on that she's ready for her official boyfriend visit, but is disappointed to see that the guy waiting patiently for her to finish her side business is not the OPJ in question. I suppose he didn't have any choice but to stand quietly, although that makes me wonder if non-speaking extras are allowed to clear their throats. If not, flu season must be even more of a chore than normal. Veronica's phone rings, and she's happy that it's Logan, until he tells her, amid female whoops in the background, that he won't be able to make it because it looks like he's "getting lucky." He doesn't wait for an answer before hanging up on her. Sweet of him to call, though.
Veronica leaves the library as a VMVO tells us that she's using the cell-phone tracker Keith bought her to track Logan's phone. She quickly locates him.
Cut to some guy glad-handing a bunch of students gambling. It's too bad it couldn't have been Terrence Cook, but he probably hasn't gone quite that far down in the world yet. I wouldn't be surprised to learn he's doing infomercials, though. Anyway, after far too much footage of the goings-on in the makeshift casino, the glad-hander sees that the blackjack dealer is showing a fifteen, and congratulates Logan on being in "the catbird's seat." However, the dealer pulls a six, and Logan asks if that's what they're calling the toilet these days. Well, based on the cats I've known, I'd have to say yes. Logan then sees Veronica, and as they lock eyes, he realizes that he is in fact the newest resident of Commode Boulevard.
Logan gets up and puts on his collared shirt over his t-shirt, knowing the fun's over, as the glad-hander introduces himself as "Mercer Hayes," and tells Veronica it's his room. Pleasantries over, Veronica asks Logan if this is why he stood her up. Logan tries to make like they didn't have firm plans, which...wasn't exactly what I took from their earlier exchange, and they start to get into a fight about Veronica tracing his phone, but Mercer tells them to take it outside, and then some stuttering guy asks Mercer if he's got a spread on that weekend's football game. Mercer obnoxiously mimics his stutter, tells him it's Hearst by four, and then proceeds with the business of booting the lovebirds out. Charming guy. I'm sure he and Veronica will be BFFs in no time at all.
Outside, Veronica and Logan quickly get into it, as Logan calls Veronica "Big Brother," and she snarkily asks him if he read 1984 in weightlifting class. He accuses her of judging him, and then tells her that he's going to Mexico with Dick and Mercer that weekend (Mercer, who runs the casino, is planning to be out of town when the football game is played and when the students are out of class and have the most free time to gamble? I. Don't. Think. So.) but promises to keep a journal of his "bad thoughts" in case she wants to stick his face in a cage of rats when he returns. At her look: "Sorry. 1984 is the only book I read." He leaves.
Okay, here's the thing. I understand this plotline is supposed to bring Veronica's trust issues to the surface. The problem is that her feelings weren't unreasonable. I mean, she expressed to Logan that she'd like it if they spent more -- for want of a better term -- quality time together. For all her relationship-based faults, that's a pretty clear and direct request, and even if Logan isn't into that, it at least deserves a direct answer. It does not deserve a phone call with admittedly conveniently contrived language to increase Veronica's insecurities. I mean, the "getting lucky" thing was just stupid -- like he'd call and tell her if he was hooking up with another girl -- but blowing her off that casually with the party sounds in the background? A lot of people thought Logan would never be that insensitive. I just don't think he'd be that guileless. Okay, you'd rather gamble than visit your girlfriend in the library. I don't completely buy that from Logan "Ours Is An Epic Love" Echolls, but he was hammered when he said that, so let's go with it. But do you have to blow her off quite that crudely? Sure, it's over the top for Veronica to have tracked him down the way she did, but...from Logan's message, she was entitled to conclude that her boyfriend wanted to be somewhere without her that night, at the very least, and that's kind of a shitty place to be, you know? It's kind of telling her she's not fun, and it's not that I completely disagree with that assessment, but I'm not the one dating her. People on the boards were saying that they didn't see what the big deal about Logan gambling was, but I think that's missing the point -- I don't believe that was Veronica's issue here at all. Think about this: if she hadn't tracked him down, but had asked him the day what he did that night, would he have told her the truth? If no, that's a problem. And if yes, why didn't he just tell her what he was up to on the phone? I think if the point is for Veronica to Realize That She Has Deep Trust Issues, it would have been stronger to make her fears seem less rational. Anyway.
Sad strummy-strummy-la-la music plays as Veronica lies in her room with the lights off. Keith enters and tells her he got fired off a job. He certainly knows how to lighten the mood. Veronica quickly realizes that it was because of Weevil. Keith nicely tells her how great Weevil did on his first assignment, but then is forced to inform us his less-than-stellar second effort: a couple's son died in a car crash, and they suspected their daughter-in-law of hitting their grandson. Weevil found out that it wasn't the daughter-in-law, but her new boyfriend, so Weevil beat him up. Lawyers ended up getting involved, and Keith lost the job, while the grandparents lost their chance at custody, or something. This is all so sketchy. If Weevil was on surveillance and saw the guy beating up the kid, presumably he would have gotten pictures, right? And even if he didn't, there's no physical evidence on the kid? How could anyone have known, much less proven, Weevil's connection to the grandparents? Why did Keith put newbie Weevil on such a sensitive case? And most ridiculous of all, how did Weevil get caught assaulting the guy without ending up back in the clink? I'm a little stunned at the sloppiness, here, and while I think new experiences are good in theory, I could have done without this one. Veronica pleads for another chance for Weevil, but Keith isn't having it.
Mars Investigations. Veronica comes in, and Weevil asks, "Is he mad?" Veronica says that she asked Keith if she could be the one to talk to Weevil, and gets right to the point and, kindly enough, fires him. Weevil is unsurprised but bummed, as he liked working for Keith, and asks Veronica if she knows of any other jobs, because if he doesn't find one within a week, he's going back to jail. Veronica offers him two grand if he can get his uncle's tools and fix the Dean's car. Is that that same uncle who owns the auto-body shop at which Weevil worked before? I bring that up for no reason, and the use of italics in that sentence is likewise without meaning.
Pop shows up to Veronica's library station and asks to check out The Tell-Tale Heart. I'll give Veronica some points for style on this one because this was what she instructed him to do in the email. However, her smugness at having him dead to rights suffers mightily when she discovers that all Pop is guilty of is borrowing Kurt's Sociology homework. You should have done the prison experiment, Pop -- if you can't handle regular homework, I don't know how you're going to churn out a twenty-page paper. On top of that, you could have ripped out Rider Strong's larynx and saved me a bitch of a headache. Veronica quickly ascertains that Pop saw the playbook when he opened the bag, and also that he was in Kurt's room until about 1, when Trish showed up and kicked him out. Well, on the plus side, I'm sure Veronica's not going to go around accusing people quite as confidently for the rest of the episode, aren't you?
Veronica storms into the radio headquarters, but Piz stops her to tell her he got his show, and thanks her for helping with his boss's boyfriend. Veronica informs him that the timing is fortuitous for him, because she's about to make Trish's life less enjoyable. Veronica pulls Trish aside and tells her that she thinks Kurt turned himself in, because she saw "Coach Fry" having Kurt doing stadiums and being very clear that Kurt's life was going to be a living hell. Trish asks if Kurt wasn't kicked off, then. Veronica: "I'd say getting kicked off would have been a bargain." If you've ever run lots of stadiums, you'll know that she's not kidding. You'll probably also know what it's like to inhale your own vomit, which the rest of you will sadly have to imagine.
Sometime later, Veronica pauses at the door to Trish's dorm room, which opens to reveal that Trish has been tearing it apart. She confesses that she took Kurt's playbook in an effort to get him kicked off, because the coach treats him like "a piece of meat" and made his life miserable when he injured his knee. Veronica intones, "You can't quit for him," and now Trish has to pick up that anvil, as if her room weren't already enough of a mess. Anyway, the playbook is gone, but Veronica gets that look on her face as she declares they know who has it. You know, Veronica hasn't really done anything in this episode other than go around to various guest stars and state, for sure and certain, that she knows they committed the crime. If suspects were rare diseases, she'd be a gimpy leg away from being Dr. Gregory House. She's certainly already got the requisite opinion of people in general down.
Larry opens his door and is grabbed by the lapels by one angry meathead. Before Kurt can twist Larry's arm off, however, Larry's roommate, who just so happens to be the stuttering guy from the casino, tells them the book is under the couch. Turns out that Larry did in fact steal the book, but not solely to get Kurt in trouble -- he and his roommate passed the book to the other team (Sonoma State, the same one that offered Pop the scholarship, if anyone cares) in order to fix the game and win money betting against Hearst. Trish suggests that Kurt turn in his book and not say anything, since no one will be the wiser, but Kurt is about as fond of that plan as he is of bad poems that slight his intelligence, and leaves.
Auto-body shop. Weevil has made a lot of progress on Ed's car, and he tells Veronica that only one of the dents is serious. He also is surprised to hear that Ed is such a stick in the mud, as his musical tastes indicate that he might be somewhat hip. He shows Veronica a CD with "Transplants" written on it. A light bulb goes off over Veronica's head...
...and she's marching into Ed's office (his full name is Cyrus O'Dell, by the way) and offering him a deal: bag the expulsion and she'll solve his problem with the Lilith House and the Lampoons. She shows Ed the CD, and at his confusion, points out that his KISS-esque-makeup-wearing son is wearing a Transplants t-shirt in the photo he knocked over earlier. She further exposits that the Transplants had a show a few nights earlier, so her theory is that the son sneaked out to the show in Ed's car, and when he dented it, trashed it to make it look like the feminists did it. As proof, she tells Ed that the one dent Weevil referenced was way too deep to have been made by a baseball bat and that the spraypaint will match the type he has in his garage. Ed buys Veronica's story and agrees that they're even, but is even happier when Veronica tells him she got his car fixed for free. She uses that leverage to get Weevil a maintenance job on campus, and Ed stares open-mouthed at her retreating form. I suppose when the sun shines out of someone's ass, such gaping is understandable. Seriously, though, it's nice to see Veronica trading in her good work to the benefit of her friends. Keep it up, hon.
Cafeteria. Veronica runs into Mercer, and they're pleasant enough until Veronica makes a comment about surfing and the trip to Mexico. Mercer says that he doesn't know anything about surfing, "but [he'll] get [her] a piñata." That would probably be overkill, given that Veronica's about to take a tire iron to Logan's head.
Veronica opens Logan's car (with the remote control, so either she has a set or she swiped them) as we get this VMVO: "Now maybe people would say they'd never install a tracking device in their significant other's car. But I think that's just 'cause they don't know how." Hee. Now there's a VMVO I can sink my teeth into, which is convenient, because it takes us into the last commercial break.
Veronica runs into Trish, who tells her Kurt fessed up about the playbook, and then packed up his stuff and went back to Kansas. Veronica asks if that means they broke up, and Trish tells her that he said that while he knows her heart was in the right place, he needs some time to think. Not to agree with Larry, but I can see where that might take a while. Trish: "I went momentarily crazy, and it's gonna cost me the guy I love." That's an awfully big anvil to drop on someone who's barely over five feet tall. Seriously, this is a pretty clumsy parallel. I mean, I'm not saying what Trish did was defensible or anything, but to me, there's still a big difference between a suspect action taken out of genuine concern for your boyfriend's well-being and a suspect action taken because you believe your boyfriend is a lying scumbag. But I guess we had to get to Veronica's Very Special Lesson by hook or by crook.
Veronica removes the tracking device as VMVO tells us that when you think about it, "No one wants to know what college boys do with themselves in Mexico." I am quite certain that there are some webmasters out there who would disagree with that statement.
In his office, Ed wraps up a phone call, and then is amazed to see his air conditioner kick on. Weevil opens the door and asks, "Better?" Ed: "Much." Weevil smiles and closes the door. I could have done without the ensuing lingering shot of him Smurfily smiling like a buffoon for a hundred years, but it's true his screentime has been awfully limited this season.
Veronica tunes in to the premiere of Piz's show, called "But We Were Just Talking." Ecch. That reminds me of when Homer's barbershop quartet came up with "The Be Sharps" when seeking a name that was "witty at first, but seems less funny every time you hear it." Which is certainly an appropriate enough quote coming from that show. Anyway, I'm disappointed in you, Piz. We learn that Hearst beat Sonoma State, and after a VMVO about Larry and his roommate's plight that's both smug and forgettable, we see Piz announce that the topic is the First Amendment and introduce his guests -- Fern and Nish, billed as the heads of Lilith House, and the two doofuses from the Lampoon. After an awkward silence, Piz announces, "You could actually hear the smiles." That made no sense, but it still made me giggle. Piz flips a coin to see who goes first: "And it's the head of a white slave-owning patriarch, which means we'll go with the gents!" Hee. I kind of wish it had come up the other way, though, if only to see the looks on the women's faces when Piz referred to them as tail(s). One of the dorks says that feminists aren't funny, to which Nish smoothly replies, "Should I wait for the rimshot, or can I respond?" Sorry, kid, but that was clever, hilarious, and deftly skewering all in one. Stick to the fart jokes -- the world needs those, too. (I'm not kidding!) Anyway, Nish is on her way to making verbal mincemeat of the guys, but she's interrupted when Fern gets a text message informing her that Claire, the girl from the doctored picture, was raped. Piz quickly calls a station break ahead of Fern going ballistic on the guys, who do look chastened. Meanwhile, Trish is preparing her speech to Piz: "Breaking on-campus news and a juicy fight right in the booth? Of course we wouldn't want to air that -- good thinking!"
A rather attractive guy interrupts Veronica to ask about Jack London and mercury poisoning. Veronica directs him to the correct aisle off the top of her head, and I admit that I wouldn't have labeled her a slacker if she had to look that one up. Veronica looks shaken, so I guess she heard the part about the rape after all, unless she's chosen an odd time for quiet reflection on civil liberties. Then again, it would be nice if she thought about them sometime. Logan appears and asks if it's the help desk, as he needs help. Veronica: "Let me guess. You have this pathologically suspicious girlfriend, and you hope maybe there's a guidebook?" Geez, Veronica, I am right here. Logan makes with the heavy angst in an effort to fake us out that he's going to dump her right there, which strikes me as cheap and a little mean, frankly, considering I don't think he's guiltless in all this. That's clearly not the idea we're meant to take away, but still. Veronica apologizes: "I spent my formative years watching people while they lied to, cheated on, and betrayed each other." Logan, perhaps because she's in the middle of her shift, does not invite her to pull up a chair and tell him about it. She goes on that trusting doesn't come easy to her, which could run in the newspaper between stories on "Bush Reelected" and "Gas Prices Kind Of High These Days." Attempting to shift the tone, she notes that he's not in Mexico, and he admits that while he usually loves it there, he "was feeling a little reformed." I've seen people in the forums use less flattering words to describe the change in his character. He goes on, "I don't even think Mercer surfs. I always feel bad about those poor donkeys." I love how that reference has become so common that Veronica just takes it in stride. Of course, maybe it's just that she watches The O.C.. (Hey, it was good the first season! Stop judging me!) Logan invites Veronica to a film festival "this weekend" (it's Saturday night already, dude, get it in gear) and Veronica rewards him by blowing some student in need of the help desk off in favor of going to make out with Logan in the stacks. At least last season well established that Veronica isn't too big on financial aid.
I don't think it's being overly harsh to say that this was not one of this show's stronger or more exciting episodes. The writing was oddly flat, in the first place, and the attention to detail was subpar as well. But really, the thing about changing to mini-arcs is that it doesn't leave a whole lot of time for dillydallying, and, labored comparisons to the MotW notwithstanding, the Logan/Veronica stuff felt way too self-contained to spend so much time on. In the past, when the two of them have had issues, they've been directly tied to important plot points -- the hidden camera, the surreptitious return from Mexico, the class warfare, for example. That's one of the things that's made this show great in the past -- layering in complex and important relationships while not actually being a relationship-centered show. I only hope they go somewhere with the gambling thing, because otherwise, in my opinion, this episode will have been a total waste of time. On that happy note, see you week!