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We open basically where we left off last week, and learn that the last thing Parker remembers is a sorority party. The first thing she does is blame Veronica for being so close to the rape and not stopping it, so Veronica steels herself to catch the rapist at all costs. We are in business, y'all, especially when Veronica takes a position at the college paper, and lucks into an undercover assignment trying to discover whether the sorority had anything to do with the rape. The thing you know, Veronica's wearing a floral dress and infiltrating hell, '50s-style. She gets invited to a party that night, and manages to avoid getting drunk or busted by Dick. That douchebag Chip from "The Rapes Of Graff" is around as well, but nothing of note happens at the party other than Veronica spying a suspicious-looking camera. However, her fake-drunkenness leads to her getting a "safe ride" home, and she and her boss at the paper put two and two together and surmise that someone might have taken advantage of the safe ride situation. Before you know it, Veronica's asking Moe, Piz's RA, why he didn't tell anyone that he drove Parker home the night she was raped. Turns out, though, that a sober female RA was along for the ride, and she backs up Moe's story. Veronica heads back to the sorority house, steals the den mother's keys, and infiltrates the secret room to discover...lots and lots of pot plants. It turns out the pot was just to treat the pain caused by the den mother's cancer, but the story gets printed regardless, and the den mother and her professor supplier get busted, and Veronica loses the friendship of a genuinely nice girl. Well, writers aren't here to make friends. Veronica does make some reasonable progress on the rape front, though. Speaking of Parker, her mom comes to take her home and tell her how immature she is and how it was such a mistake to let her go away to college. Fun lady. Mac spends the episode wrestling with her internal conflicts, but when she sees the wig Parker's mother picked out for her, she cracks, telling Parker that she shouldn't leave and that, from now on, Mac will have her back. Aww. In lighter news, Wallace and Logan's Sociology professor gets them to participate in some sort of Abu Ghraib master-and-servant battle-of-wills exercise. Guess who's in the submissive position? Some guy gets way too into playing a guard, especially picking on some loser kid. Logan outwits the bully, but Wallace, in turn, outwits Logan. Logan ends up streaking the Sociology class, and I should really start reading spoilers so that I know when to cover my ears against the East-Coast-wide "EEEEE!" Finally, Cormac comes after a weary Keith in the desert, but gets caught in an animal trap. Nice Army training, dude. Liam appears and demands to know where the money is. Cormac seems to be telling the truth as he says that most of it was missing, but that doesn't impress Liam, who puts a bullet in his brother's head. Of course, they don't show the bullet entering his skull, so maybe he and Kendall will be running off together after all. To Fantasyland. Speaking of Kendall, we see in flashback that it wasn't money in the briefcase, but a rare painting, which Keith sells, donating the proceeds to charity. Keith has to come home and, in tears, tell Veronica the degree to which he fucked up. Aww. At least she's in a good position to be empathetic. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Before I start, approximately 17,452 people posted or wrote in to tell me that the ringleader of the thieves last week was actually named "Donald Fagen," named after the vocalist and keyboardist of Steely Dan. This makes his name an extremely clever and layered double meaning, and I apologize profusely for missing that and jumping straight to the "You've Got To Pick A Pocket Or Two" reference. I also curse my college roommate for putting me off classic rock for life with his shrine to Lynryd Skynyrd. Djb would totally have been so happy with the Steely Dan thing, too. Also, the quote on Wallace's poster is actually attributed to the inventor of basketball, Dr. James Naisbith. If I get any more emails before I send this recap to Wing Chun, I will report them here posthaste.
We open soon after we left off last week, as Parker -- on the verge of dissolving into incomprehensibility, not that I blame her -- is telling a black female officer (blue uniform, so...campus security?) that the last thing she remembers was being at a "Zeta Theta" rush party, and she doesn't even remember how she got home. Plus, when she woke up, she felt "out of it" and was naked. VMVO tells us that when you're roofied and raped, you don't remember the who, when, where, and why, but you certainly know the what. I'm choosing to believe that she's referring to the feelings she had at the time of the incident, rather than get into a discussion of whether she still considers what happened to her "rape." Yes, I'm taking the path of least resistance. (Ooh, that was unfortunate.)
The camera pans back to reveal a fairly despondent Mac and Veronica. Veronica softly notes that she could have stopped the rape, since the rapist must have been there when she entered the room, but Mac says that she didn't because Mac had told Veronica that Parker was a floozy: "A proud, proud day for both of us."
Lamb enters and throws a faux-endearing smile at Veronica. "Tell me I'm here because of you. Not that I'm counting or anything, but isn't this Wolf Cry Number Two?" Veronica, defying belief, looks mildly amused. The officer on scene tells Lamb that Parker is the same as the others -- doesn't remember a thing. Lamb turns and fixes Veronica with a pointed stare: "They always say that." Sure, that's beyond obnoxious, but I can imagine that the ones with self-respect low enough to hook up with Lamb pull that excuse often enough. At that last comment, a swirl of emotions does hit Veronica, so maybe she's really trying not to show any weakness to Lamb's face, but the acting choices still seem way off to me for most of this scene.
Lamb -- not particularly sympathetically, but far less nastily than he was to Veronica -- asks Parker for a window of time that she might have gotten back to the dorm. Parker has no idea, but Veronica pipes up that the rape occurred at 11:45 or thereabouts, and explains about her retrieving the movie passes. (Oh, last week I referenced Veronica hearing something in "the other room," which was just a straight-up brain-freeze typo. Mac and Parker clearly share one room, albeit a big one.) I don't think Veronica had any choice here, but this can't have been easy to confess, especially in front of Lamb, and it's not like Mac owns up to Parker about her role in Veronica's perception of Parker, either now or in the rest of the episode. Veronica adds that the light was off, and that she didn't see much. Lamb asks why she didn't turn the light on, and is told that it's because she heard noises, "like breathing...and buzzing." Lamb asks if the buzzing was like an electric razor, and Veronica says that it's possible, but that it turned off right after she opened the door, and that she thought the noises were..."something else." I went back and listened to that scene with the volume up pretty high, and it's true that there's a very quick buzz-like sound (although not completely identifiable, even knowing what I'm looking for), but it's so quick and subtle that it still seems like part of the song that's playing. Which is cool. Lamb's amused, although it's not clear whether that's at Veronica's general discomfort, or if he's thinking about what Veronica thought the buzzing might be, which is taking it a little deeper. (I have got to stop doing that.) Veronica (sounding lame even to her, I'd wager) tells Parker that it didn't occur to her that anything going on was against Parker's will. Parker shrieks that Veronica let the rape happen, and rushes out as Veronica tries in vain to apologize. Lamb, again, looks amused, and he'd really be begging to regain his old "Officer Fuckface" moniker if I hadn't gotten so used to typing something shorter. Credits.
In what looks like very hot daylight, Keith is using a large stick to help himself make his way through the desert. He sets off a bear trap, but luckily, it's the wood that takes the damage. Finally, something Duncan would have been good for, and he's nowhere to be found.
In the Sociology class mentioned in the episode, a "Dr. Kinney" is lecturing the class, which includes Wallace and Logan, that torture has existed as long as have prisons and wars and armies. Yeah, dude, I've seen Rome, too. Also in the class is Rider Strong. Kinney shows a famous photo from Abu Ghraib, and asks who among the students saw it and thought to himself that he would never do something like that. Most of the students raise their hands, but Logan, with an amused look, doesn't. One could be forgiven for thinking that he's recalling his role in organizing bumfights ["I'll NEVER FORGET" -- Wing Chun], but the fact that the photo in question is the one of the prisoner being dragged along on a leash, I think Logan's remembering an activity of his that's a little more current. And frequent. The professor tells them that in his opinion, it's likely that only two or three of them are right in their assessment of their own characters. Also, the students each have a twenty-page research project due at the end of the term about the effects of imprisonment and torture. One wonders what sort of grade twenty pages of repeating "I'm going crazy from having to sit inside and write this fucking paper on a Saturday night" would merit. Kinney offers them an out: he's conducting an extensive study on the prisoner-guard relationship. Anyone who volunteers will participate in an experiment in which he'll be either a prisoner or a guard. The prisoners will be given an arbitrary piece of information, which the guards will attempt to extract from them. The members of the winning team are exempt from the paper, while the losing side's burden will be reduced to ten pages. I'm annoyed with the writers here, not so much because this is unrealistic, but because, from reading the boards, I can no longer see the words "Stanford Experiment" without screaming. Whoops. AIEEEEEE! Anyway, let's just say that there's extensive online documentation of why this experiment would never be allowed to happen these days and leave it at that. Wallace and Logan volunteer, although Logan's hand-raising is so fey that you could perfectly balance a server's tray on it. Given what we see later, I wonder if Dick went to him for lessons.
Wallace finds Veronica inside some campus building massaging her temples. Asked what she's doing, she replies, "Turning my unbearable guilt into steely resolve." Well, to give one of the songs on your soundtrack a shout-out, hon, you've been a long time coming. She pops up and says she's going to catch the rapist "and see him crucified." After she tells Wallace that she's got an interview at the paper for an actual paying position, Moe -- Piz's (where have you gone, Beaverton?) and Wallace's RA -- enters with new safety rules and news of a floor meeting that night. Wallace tells Moe that he can't be there because of the experiment, and Moe replies that he did it the year before (so, he's a sophomore RA? Well, so was Felicity, I guess), and says that it's pretty intense. He gets an odd look on his face as he adds, "It's, like...life-changing." He pauses long enough before leaving to prompt "Buh?" looks from Wallace and Veronica.
Cormac, toting a large plastic container of water, comes across a footprint, presumably Keith's. Elsewhere, the trackee in question is looking quite the worse for wear until he comes upon some train tracks.
A young woman is on the phone talking about how someone's a great writer, but that she wouldn't successfully blend in at a sorority: "They're not big on Doc Martens and unibrows." Not particularly nice, but probably true. She hangs up, returns to Veronica, and tells her that the photos in Veronica's portfolio are great. Veronica sighs in relief, since if she didn't get this job, the financial aid people would force her to take a job in the horror chamber known as the library. I'll just tell you that board reaction indicates that Veronica dissing library jobs is the updated version of Jackie dissing Jane Austen, and if you don't get that joke, I'll pull up a chair and tell you about it when I've got three weeks to spare. ["I worked in a public library in high school, and let me just say, I'm sure it beats spraying trays in the caf." -- Wing Chun] Veronica and the woman laugh over a photo of a cheerleader picking a wedgie, and Veronica says that the girl TPed Veronica's house in the tenth grade. The woman gets serious and shows Veronica a poster of Theta Beta (the full name is "Zeta Theta Beta," and it's a either a nice touch or a plot point that Parker got confused on the shortened name) and asks what she thinks. Veronica: "I think it's the gateway to hell, and I don't want to keep looking directly at it." Heh. The woman brings up the rapes, and mentions Parker's name. I'm choosing to believe that she didn't get the name from the university, but I think it's fair not to have too much confidence in the school's handling of the rapes in general, given that the same guy who humped a bald mannequin at a Take Back The Night rally was recently able to sashay his way onto a girls-only floor. Anyway, the woman says that there have been a lot of nasty rumors about what goes on at Theta Beta, and says that since Veronica is "intelligent" and "cute," she's the perfect choice to go undercover and do an exposé on the group. Veronica ineffectively demurs, and the woman tells her that she'll blend right in.
Still at the newspaper office, Veronica is eyeing the invitation to the "Zeta Theta Beta" "Fall Rush Social," which mandates "tasteful floral dresses" and "beautiful personalities." Veronica complains that she doesn't have a thing to wear. If she's referring to both parts of the request, that's both apt and hilarious. The woman tells her that these parties are notorious for free-flowing booze, and what's more, four different sources (...so, four different sources have seen this, yet they need Veronica to go undercover? Odd) have told stories of the Theta Betas getting pledges liquored up, taking them to a secret room, and having them undress while guys from their brother fraternity watch through a two-way mirror. Veronica is intrigued by the secret room, but she probably just wants to hide in it so that Jared Leto will come find her. I certainly do.
Mac returns to her room to find Parker lying in bed. Parker tells her that she'll soon have the room all to herself. Mac's like, "I will?" She does a valiant job of not letting a note of "More closet space, EEEEE!" into her voice. Parker says that her parents are driving in from Denver, and that her mom especially wants to take Parker home, since she thought Parker was too immature to go away from home in the first place. Mac thinks that maybe it would be best for Parker to be with her family, and Parker tearfully agrees. Well, Mac doesn't know any better, but Parker, what's your excuse? Oh. Whoops.
Cut to a large pink handbag as "Thank Heaven For Little Girls" plays on the soundtrack. Hee. We pan up to see that Veronica has managed to get hold of some sort of reddish-pink and white floral dress. I can't believe she'd spend hard-earned money on it, which makes me wonder if she made it. Which in turn makes me think of Veronica being on Project Runway, which in turn makes me think of Heidi Klum saying "Veronica Mars" over and over again. That was a long thought process, but it was worth it. For me, anyway. A VMVO complains about the dress code, but that's nothing compared to what Veronica experiences when she walks in the door: a group of girls lined up on the stairs start to sing an atrociously sappy and cut-up version of "True Colors," and Keri Lynn Pratt appears to welcome Veronica. That's a one-two punch that would certainly drive me to drink to the point of puking, although if the look on her face is any indication, Veronica's going to take the shorter, less caloric route to the same destination and just vomit on Keri's shoes right now. She's always just so damned practical. Keri's bitchy to Veronica, which threatens to make her more tolerable, but all I have to do is remember that she was in Campus Confidential to start abhorring her and her squeaky voice again. (Actually, I'll admit that I liked her in Jack & Bobby. Poor, sweet, misunderstood show that no one wanted to be friends with. Or something.) Another sister takes Veronica's purse, saying that it's house rules, and then Veronica looks around for anything sordid, but only finds more floral dresses, more bad singing, and more of Keri Lynn Pratt, who offers her lemonade. VMVO: "Worst Roman orgy ever." Titus Pullo would turn things around in a hurry.
Sometime soon after, Veronica's getting Squeaky Stereo as Keri and another blonde sandwich Veronica on the couch (not like that, it's BORING) and babble about how great the sorority is and their tanning bed and free cortisone shots and OH MY GOD SHUT UP. Speaking of, the singers are now torturing us with a Theta Beta version of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot," which I'm sure Veronica would agree is unintentionally appropriate. A redhead with a deep voice fortunately interrupts to offer more lemonade, and Veronica asks if this batch might have a little kick to it. I think she's forgotten all about the assignment at this point. The redhead says no, since it's against university policy and also illegal, but adds, "The farther you are from the singing, the less you'll crave intoxication." Hee. The redhaad beckons Veronica to follow her and, when she does, confides, "Last week they tried to change the lyrics to 'Macarena.' I almost impaled myself on the banister." She's getting some ideas from Heroes, I'd say. Seems like kind of a hardcore show to watch in the sorority house, but I could definitely see this girl enjoying having the TV room to herself. The redhead introduces herself as "Marjorie," and, in answer to Veronica's question about the deal with the purses, says that Veronica will find out soon enough. A thirty-ish woman appears with a plate of cookies and a declaration that all her girls are wonderful. When she's gone, Marjorie tells Veronica that "Karen" is their den mother: "She gets paid to say that." Not a whole lot, if her IMDb credits are any indication. Marjorie says that the sisters are lame, but that they're like family. Like Parker's family, then.
Dr. Kinney is leading the group into the "prison," a dorm wing in the process of being renovated, and tells them that they'll be monitored by surveillance cameras and nearby TAs. He splits the group up according to the last digit of their Social Security numbers. Evens, which include Wallace and Rider Strong, are the guards. The rest are prisoners. Kinney goes over the rules: sleep deprivation is okay, but any other physical abuse isn't. Prisoners are required to get "a certain number of calories" each day (way to vague that up, there), and to ensure that the food is edible, one guard will have to eat a sample meal before the prisoners touch their food. I wish they'd had that rule in place in my freshman cafeteria. We cut ahead in time as Kinney tells them prisoners are not allowed to use cell phones, watches, or computers. As Wallace collects Logan's watch, Logan tells Wallace that he'll never crack, prompting Wallace to propose a side bet. Logan suggests that the loser streak across campus, and Wallace says that he'll enjoy seeing Logan do it. Well, you're not the typical demographic, Wallace, but you can still just get in line with everyone else. Kinney leads the prisoners away and shows them a piece of paper that reads, "The bomb is located in the mail drop at the corner of 116th Street and Jamison Boulevard." Before I go any further, I should note that Kinney is being played by Dan Castellaneta, and I won't insult your intelligence by telling you what he's most famous for. Although I am surprised that they resisted the urge to replace "bomb" with "donuts" in a last-minute revision of the script. Anyway, if any prisoner wants to go home at any time, he can reveal the information about the bomb to the guards. Logan: "Or click your heels three times." So we've got Logan associated with bondage, submission, streaking, and Judy Garland within the first fifteen minutes. Does anyone see where I'm going with this? Kinney charges the guards with getting the location of the bomb before it goes off and kills innocent people, which will happen forty-eight hours thence. He leaves...
...and Rider Strong steps up and kindly tells the prisoners to make their way into their cell. This gets no response, so he drops the politeness and ups the volume, to good effect. In the "cell," one of the prisoners lies down on the bottom of a bunk bed, but Rider Strong quickly nixes that move, and tells the guards to disassemble the bed and put the mattresses in the guards' room. He also tells a long-haired lazy dude to put away his books. Long Hair tells Rider Strong to "chill out, dude," since he has a test on Monday. Perhaps Long Hair took his own advice too much to heart during filming, since two shots from the front show him looking at Rider Strong continuously, but they're cut by a shot from behind in which he's looking down at his book. Hit your marks, kid. Rider Strong is having neither Long Hair's chilling out nor his bad continuity to an extreme degree, and he will not be allowing any studying, nor any bathroom breaks other than communal visits every eight hours. That does seem like it's flirting with the whole "physical abuse" idea, but I do try to drink a lot of water. The guy who asked about the bathroom says that he has to go now, and Rider Strong asks him his name. It's "Samuel Horshack." The actor sort of raises his eyebrows in surprise at the question, which I guess, given what we learn later, is meant to convey "You know my name already, idiot," but doesn't do all that great a job at it. Anyway, Rider Strong can't believe his good fortune on that one: "There's no way you're that short, smell that bad, and have the last name Horshack. How did you not kill yourself in high school?" Geez, someone's sure trying to make up for Boy Meets World in a big way. Rider Strong makes some rather offensive comments about who's going to crack but, at Wallace's aghast look, tells him to take the exercise seriously, since people's lives are on the line. Outside, though, Rider Strong tells Wallace that he's just playing the part.
Cormac's a sweaty mess as he follows the train tracks Keith found earlier. Let's just think this out clearly: he's after Keith to kill him. Not only is he following Keith's footprints, there's no other reason he'd be trudging through the dangerous desert on foot when he has the keys to Keith's car (and as if he wouldn't know how to hotwire one anyway). And if he's trying to kill Keith, there's absolutely no reason for him to have staged Kendall's shooting, because he didn't plan to leave the witness alive. There's no logical wiggle room here that I can see, so I have to conclude that Kendall's pushing up daisies. At least she's well-equipped for the task. Anyway, Cormac sees the spy pen (although the "spy" part looks, from what we'll soon learn, unbeknownst to him) to the tracks. He approaches it, and his attention's distracted enough that he doesn't notice the intervening bear trap until his leg gets mangled in it. Geez, I hope this isn't indicative of the level of training of our troops. Seeing a veteran fall for the "Look, something shiny!" ploy doesn't inspire a whole lot of confidence.
Veronica gets back to her car and finds a bouquet of flowers and an invitation to a "special private party" that night at the sorority house.
Back in the desert, Cormac has freed his leg from the trap and dragged himself a little ways, but not nearly far enough to get away from his brother Liam. Liam says that Cormac betrayed him -- he was supposed to take care (in the literal sense, not the sense in which he's about to "take care" of his brother) of Cormac's "trashy girlfriend," and in return, Liam would get a cut of his cash. He steps on Cormac's wound, and then draws a gun and asks where the money is. Cormac tells him that he found some cash, but that most of it is missing, and he doesn't know what Kendall did with it. It seemed kind of silly at first that he'd off Kendall without checking up on that first, but I guess that (a) he trusted that she was into him enough that she wouldn't betray him, and (b) he knew that Keith was going to discover sooner or later that Cormac had lifted Keith's gun, and the best opportunity he was likely to have to make his move was when Keith stepped out to the car. Still, I don't know what the rush to kill her was, unless he was worried that Liam would get impatient, which I have to admit seems like a legitimate fear at the moment. Liam asks one more time, but when Cormac can't change his story, he snarls, "Mom always liked you best," and blows Cormac's brains out. Remind me never to stiff my sister.
Cut to Keith, who hears the echo of the shot, but is too dehydrated to care. He does get interested, however, in the town he spies only a little ways off. Of course, things look closer in the desert.
Veronica enters the sorority house in a conservative blazer and skirt combo, only to find one of the blondes from earlier greeting her dressed, as VMVO puts it, as a "Pussycat Doll." There's a full-on party in progress, with boys, dancing, and booze, the last of which is indicated by Keri appearing with a shot glass and offering Veronica a "Panty Dropper." VMVO's all, "Jackpot!" Eh. Talk to me when they break out the Red Devils.
Veronica takes the shot from Keri, but stalls until Keri leads her by the hand into the room. Veronica, when Keri's back is turned, surreptitiously dumps the shot into a nearby cup as Keri asks what she thinks. VMVO: "What do I think? I think I'd sooner drink Mark McGrath's bathwater than anything here." Ew. Heh. Hehew. Keri tells a shirtless guy to get Veronica another shot, and then exposits that the "Pi Sigs" are their brother fraternity, and that they bartend at the girls' rush parties. Keri then expresses her hope that Veronica doesn't have a boyfriend, since there's a "newbie legacy" and "lost Wilson brother" behind her. It's Dick, of course; he turns around and sarcastically and shirtlessly notes that Veronica looks just like this girl he knows from high school. Veronica gives him the fakest of enthusiastic exclamations and hugs, as if the girls didn't already think she fit in at this place. Also, that was hilarious. Keri explains that Veronica's rushing, and that they love her. Dick: "Somewhere in a parallel universe, Bizarro Dick is being a total killjoy." I guess we're going to have to wait a bit longer for the Dick's Journey Into Emotional Maturity to begin. Which is fine by me. Veronica amusingly grabs Dick's cheeks and shakes them to shut him up as she tells him that he's so cute. Heh. Keri leads Veronica over to the drinks table...
...where Marjorie joins them and tells Veronica that this is why they take the girls' purses -- so that they can leave invitations in the dorm rooms for the girls they want at the secret party, although with off-campus-living Veronica, they had to get creative. NVMVO notes that they had access to Parker's room. Marjorie leads Veronica to another guy -- Chip, now President of the Pi Sigs. Chip takes one look at Veronica and flatly tells Marjorie that Veronica accused him of rape last year. Veronica laughs unconvincingly, and tells him, for Marjorie's benefit, to learn to take a joke, but he just scoffs and walks away. Given the rate of awkward introductions that Veronica's being subjected to here, I'm starting to wonder if Keith is undercover at this place. Or, even worse, not.
But there's nothing to worry about. Exterior sheriff's office, "Kretchmer County," night. Two deputies emerge to find a dirty and disheveled Keith shambling toward them like he's in Night Of The Living Dead or something. Of course, if that were true, he'd be going hungry for a while, if the one guy's query of "You okay, sir?" is any indication. Keith tells them that there's been a murder, and that he can take them to the location.
Cut to Veronica doing her best Parker-pre-rape imitation. "WAOOOOO!" she shouts as she dances blazerless in the middle of a circle of guys. VMVO wonders how long she has to play drunk before someone tries to get her to disrobe. Two girls come out and grind with her, and VMVO notes that her decade will be known for the "faux-lesbian dance." Oh, Veronica. In these Britney and Madonna years, it's hard to remember that Basic Instinct came out in 1992. Veronica spies a surveillance camera over a locked door, and makes a big show of saying that they're on TV, grabbing a chair, putting it close to the camera, and getting up on it to shake her rather shapely booty. Marjorie's expression goes from amused to concerned, and she comes over and gets Veronica down, Chip in tow. The two of them lead Veronica away as the guys all boo. Heh.
As Chip and Marjorie lead Veronica down a dimly-lit set of stairs, VMVO says that the first one of them to try anything is "getting a taste of Mr. Sparky." Somewhere beyond the grave, Kendra is smiling. However, there's no need for Mr. Sparky's services at this point, as it turns out that Marjorie wanted to get Veronica out of there, because her behavior is reaching the point where she'll start losing points with the sisters, and she's Marjorie's favorite. Aw. Marjorie tells Veronica that there's a "Safe Ride Home" cart coming to pick her up, and that Chip will wait with her. Marjorie leaves, and Veronica drops the ditzy part of the act as Chip tells her that it's not how he wanted his night to end either. Yes, I'm sure that, in ten minutes, another party will be real tough to come by. Especially during Rush Week!
Prison. The guards come in with some nasty-looking food. Wallace does his part by sampling the stuff, and it's kind of unfair to the prisoners that they've got the Human Hoover on the other side. Horshack complains, and Rider Strong chews the scenery. I don't blame him this time -- now he won't have to eat the food.
Parking lot of awkward. Veronica fake-dry-heaves as VMVO says that it's the best way to keep a guy away: "Vomit is the new Mace." Not to contradict the VMVO, but I'd say having already once accused Chip of rape on a campus that's dying for a scapegoat might have something to do with his reticence as well. Anyway, the cart -- driven by a pissy female student -- arrives, and Chip tells the driver to take Veronica to her friend's dorm, since she's a commuter. Once they've driven off, Chip amusingly splays his hands out all, "Uch." Heh.
The driver is berating Veronica for being one of those girls who goes "into the belly of the beast" and gets all tarted up and drunk until she can't say no: "You should know better. The Greeks are evil." It would be amusing if Veronica continued the act and tried to "drunkenly" hug the rather humorless driver, but maybe she doesn't want to get pitched out of the uncovered cart on a sharp turn. Instead, she goes with the tack of telling the girl that she's not drunk, mentioning the story she's working on, and then asking if the girl picked up any Theta Beta rushes the night before. The girl says that she didn't, but that there are a couple of carts out each night. Veronica then recites the alphabet backwards until the girl pulls over and tells her in disgust to get out. She speeds away, and Veronica calls, "Thanks, Sunshine! Keep on keepin' on!" Heh, but...should Sunshine really be letting a female student, even a sober one, off in the middle of nowhere? I don't think she's trying her hardest to win Safe Ride Home Employee Of The Month.
Rider Strong's House Of Torture Through Overacting. We're in the bathroom, and all the boys are relieving themselves, except for Horshack, who's having trouble going with Rider Strong's yelling. I'm not a fan of the yelling either, but after eight hours, I wouldn't even hear it over the multiple cascades from around the room. Rider Strong speculates that Horshack is a "homo," and then calls time. Horshack unhappily zips up as Logan looks over with interest. Not in that order, I might add.
The Dimwitted Deputy is telling Keith that there's no body and no blood, but that the place is torn up, and that it looks like a robbery, not a murder. Keith opines that the place is torn up because Cormac was looking for Kendall's money. Another deputy finds some blood on the glass framing a painting -- a revelation that causes Keith visible consternation.
Logan, sitting against the wall in the darkened room, is just drifting off to sleep when the chorus of "Escape" by Rupert Holmes kicks in, loudly. Haaaa ha ha. Logan wearily says that he'll give up the information Rider Strong wants, so Rider Strong kills the music, comes over, and leans in close. Logan: "Yes, I like piña coladas. And getting caught in the rain." You may not be aware that the opening line of that song is "I was tired of my lady." Well, now you are. Rider Strong is momentarily defeated, until he notices Horshack cowering with his back to him, and orders Horshack to his feet. Horshack gets up and turns around to reveal that he's pissed himself, and Rider Strong predictably crows in glee. Horshack tells Rider Strong that he's got sweat pants in his bag (and calls him by his first name, "Rafe," showing that they do in fact know each other), but Rider Strong is not having that.
Chez Mars. Veronica, having just gotten up, gets some water out of the refrigerator, and is then startled to see Keith's silhouette across the room. She banters with him a little, but his face starts to break, although he might have held it together if Veronica hadn't chosen to advance this spectacularly unfortunate speculation: "You've got a girl stashed somewhere, don't you?" Veronica sits on the arm of his chair and asks what's wrong. Keith cries a little as he tells her that he screwed up, and someone got hurt. Veronica puts her head on Keith's shoulder and holds his hand as she tells him that she knows exactly how he feels. Lest he think that she's just spouting a platitude, she might want to add, "No, SERIOUSLY."
Wallace happily downs some pig's knuckles. Even Logan is like, "Gross, dude." Horshack pleads that he keeps kosher, and I think this experiment is beyond, obviously, but Horshack's whiny attempts to get through to Rider Strong are starting to annoy. Rider Strong chomps some more set dressing, especially when he notices that Horshack somehow got hold of his sweat pants. Horshack won't give up his supplier, so Rider Strong puts him in solitary. Good punishment -- now that no one's watching, Horshack will probably piss himself again. Also, we got a quick cut to Wallace, so apparently he's the one who sneaked the sweat pants to Horshack.
Mac is unhappily viewing the spectacle of Parker trying on wigs with her mom. Parker says that she liked the first one better, but her severe-looking mother tells her that she should have something simple that doesn't draw attention to her. Given that the wig she's currently got on makes her look like Farrah Fawcett on crack (make your own joke here), I'd really like to see that first one. Maybe it's from the Sydney Bristow collection. Parker asks Mac for her opinion, but Parker's mom seizes on that, saying that she can't make a decision, and that she's too immature for college. I'll take the latter first: there's no such thing. And the former? I think she's decided that you're a nasty, cold harpy. So can Parker stay now? No, apparently as soon as her dad finishes raising holy hell at the Dean's office, they're taking her home.
Veronica's editor is telling her that she needs to find out what's up with the camera. Veronica's hesitant, since Marjorie checked up on her the day, and she's not getting any sort of creepy vibe from the sorority. The editor, however, is Overinvested, and insists that Veronica press on, so Veronica says that the members are voting at 7 that evening, and that's when Veronica will make her move. Veronica then broaches the subject of the Safe Ride Home carts, and suggests that maybe the driver knows something. Editor: "Or maybe the driver took advantage of the situation." That's why she gets paid the big...oh, having worked in journalism, I can't even complete that thought without giggling hysterically. And then crying, also hysterically. Where was I? Oh, the editor -- whose name apparently is "Nish" -- calls a friend of hers who volunteers at Take Back The Night, and asks if they keep records of who they take home...
...and we cut to Moe opening his door to find Veronica accusingly asking him why he didn't tell anyone he was the one the drove Parker home the night she was raped. Someone's looking fracked.
After the break, Veronica and Moe have moved into his room, and I'm not sure whose reaction is weirder: Moe answering Veronica's finger-point of "Rapist!" with "Would you like to come in?" or Veronica's being all, "Sure, I'd love to, despite the fact I just called you a RAPIST." Anyway, Moe calmly explains that, yes, Parker was hammered, but that Moe didn't know she was the girl who got raped. So it seems more likely, then, that Nish got Parker's name through unofficial channels, which makes me feel a little better. Also, Moe adds that there was a sober girl with him who rode the cart so that she didn't have to walk alone, and that she also helped Moe to put Parker to bed.
Rider Strong opens the door to a janitor's closet, wherein Horshack has spent the night. He's all, "Guten Morgen," and I think he's trying to be funny, but speaking German to the Jewish kid in the prison camp is perhaps a bit much. Anyway, Rider Strong returns Horshack to the company of his fellow prisoners, and Logan congratulates him on his resolve in not giving up the info, and says that he would have cracked already, but that he forgot the address. Horshack pipes up with the correct address, but Long Hair and the Asian girl Rider Strong called fat earlier convince him that he's wrong. Oh, Horshack.
For some reason, we cut to a close-up of a picture of (I think) Lance Armstrong. Okay. VMVO tells us that Moe's alibi checked out, since the girl he was with is a sophomore RA (last name Wells, same as Alia Shawkat's rape-victim character, which is interesting), and she affirms that she didn't leave Moe until midnight. VMVO adds that she's checking out the mystery room, as we see that Veronica is sitting with Karen, the den mother. Veronica pretends to be worried that she endangered her chances by acting like a typical Real World housemate, but Karen reassures her, and even offers to talk to the girls on Veronica's behalf before the vote. She steps out of the room, and Veronica quickly rifles around in Karen's bureau and grabs her keys. She then notices that there's a monitor showing the feed from the mysterious camera from earlier. Karen comes back and says she doesn't think Veronica has anything to worry about.
Prison. Wallace and the female guard are asleep, and Logan and the other prisoners escape through a window using a ladder fashioned from tied-together bedclothes they stole from the guards' quarters.
Cut to the prisoners pigging out in the cafeteria. Now, if leaving the prison didn't disqualify them from the experiment, why didn't they just really escape instead of hanging out in the same building? Veronica appears, and Logan smiles that his "conjugal visit" has arrived. He goes on to introduce Veronica as his "girl," which is kind of endearing if odd-sounding coming from Logan, and adds that he's got her picture in his cell, and that he sometimes lends it to Horshack. Heh. I just hope he doesn't make a mess of it -- there's some reason to worry. Logan invites Veronica to stay, but she says that while they're breaking out, she's breaking in. "Star-crossed." Heh. Veronica leaves. God, these two are so functional all of a sudden. Some people on the boards are complaining that they're boring, but this is the first time they've actually seemed to me like they might have a ghost of a chance of staying together for any length of time. Can't please everyone, I guess. (Wait, what the hell do I mean, "I guess"?) Rider Strong appears and asks what the hell they're all doing. Logan: "Getting a jump start on the freshman fifteen?" You may live to eat those words, Logan. Which will just compound the problem. Rider Strong berates Wallace and Girl Guard for falling asleep on the job. Well, Rider Strong, your one-note acting isn't doing much for my alertness factor either.
Veronica enters the darkened staircase from earlier as an NVMVO I'll not be transcribing pipes up. Veronica opens the door to find a little greenhouse containing enough weed to make even Corny take notice. Veronica: "Holy smokes." Totally obligatory. Also, hee.
Nish is looking at Veronica's pictures of the pot room, one of which helpfully has the sorority letters emblazoned on the wall, which seems a bit convenient. Nish gloats at the idea that they're bringing down one of the Greek houses, and her crowing of "nine to go" suggests that her journalistic integrity might be slightly impaired. Veronica tries to tell Nish that the sisters weren't all bad, but Nish conversationally steamrolls her and tells Veronica that she's one of them now. Veronica's expression would not be found in the dictionary under "psyched."
Horshack is trying and failing to pee as Rider Strong yells that he downed an entire Big Gulp at the food court. I'm tired of both of these two, but I will concede that perhaps that wasn't the best-judged idea ever. Anyway. Horshack finally cracks and gives up the info, but it's that wrong address with which his teammates tricked him. Long Hair keeps up the act by yelling at Horshack for caving with only ten hours to go, and scene.
Veronica gets to her car and finds Marjorie, who informs her that they need to talk. She bluntly tells Veronica that Karen has cancer, and that Karen saw Veronica go into the private room, since there's a second camera inside. Veronica confesses that "a friend...someone I know" was raped after she left the house, and that Veronica was looking for clues. Marjorie: "What's behind that door has nothing to do with the rape of Parker Lee." Interesting that she knows the name, but probably Lamb followed up enough on the case to ask questions at the house. Anyway, Marjorie tells Veronica that Karen was so sick from her chemo that all she could do was lie in front of the toilet, so a Botany professor friend of hers gave her some pot seeds, she grew them, and now she uses the stuff medicinally. Leaving aside the question of whether Karen would be able to get the stuff legally for medicinal purposes (an issue over which there's considerable disagreement on the boards), the fact that the room contained enough pot to keep half of Burning Man "chilled out" is perhaps a bit of an issue. Marjorie tells Veronica that Karen would lose not only her job but her insurance if any of this came to light, so to speak, and firmly asks Veronica not to say anything. She leaves, and Veronica looks like she's going to ask Keith for details of his screw-up to make herself feel better by comparison.
Horshack is apologizing to his team when Kinney arrives. Rider Strong triumphantly tells him the wrong address, and Kinney heartily shakes his hand: "Congratulations. You managed to get false information." Kinney just went up a point or two. He sweeps out as quickly as he came, and Rider Strong looks like he's going to bite through his lip as he orders Horshack back to solitary. Horshack once again is all teary, but if he can't figure out that he had the correct address originally, he's too dumb to live. Or at least to go home nine and a half hours early. Rider Strong hisses that he knows Logan was behind the trick, and Logan gleefully smiles at him. As you do in these situations.
Veronica calls Nish and begs her not to run the story, explaining the real situation. Nish says that the article is being published, and that she should be proud. I'm thinking that's a subtle echo of Mac's earlier statement. Veronica winces in abject shame -- I mean, "pride."
At the sorority house, Veronica's on the porch waiting when Karen opens the door. As Marjorie appears, Veronica apologizes, tells Karen about the impending article, and suggests that she get rid of the pot. In a small seaside California town, I'm thinking she won't have much trouble finding it a good home. Marjorie asks, "You want to know the definition of 'ironic'?" It's a pretty good rule of thumb that the answer to that question is going to be "no." She tells Veronica that she was voted in: "We wanted you to be one of us." On the plus side, at least now they've seen Veronica's true colors. Marjorie closes the door, and Veronica breathes raggedly. A lot of people thought Veronica came off as bad as Wanda Varner, Girl Narc in this storyline. I don't completely see that, but she certainly could have made the decision not to report the pot revelation, or at least done some more investigatory work. It's grey, though, in my opinion -- I don't personally think pot should be illegal, but it is, and particularly given the high quantity in question, I'm not sure a black-and-white assessment of the morality of the situation is warranted. Still, I would have liked to know how Veronica weighed her options, but we've got a few other subplots to wrap up.
Parker, wearing that horrid wig, tentatively enters her room and tells Mac that she left her a card with her numbers, in case Mac wants to keep in touch. Parkers tears up as she tells Mac she thought they were going to have a blast together. Man, every time Julie Gonzalo gets like this, I just want to cry. She is good. Mac perks up and tells her to stay instead of going with her horrible parents: "Stay here! I'll have your back from now on." Aww. Parker thanks her, and they hug. Over Parker's shoulder, Mac looks a little concerned, but she's probably aware that Parker's parents might not be as easy as Parker is. Oh, whoops again.
The clock ticks to 6:02, which cues the prisoners to whoop in triumph. Wallace brightly says that, now that it's over, the prisoners have to tell the guards what the address is. Logan tries to stop him, but Long Hair pipes up with the correct address. Logan, you should have shouted "LA LA LA LA LA!" over him. Sure, people would think you're crazy, but I doubt it would be the first time. Anyway, Kinney marches in and congratulates the guards on their victory. He explains that the guards who appeared to fall asleep were just pretending, and that once the prisoners had escaped, they moved the clocks forward. Eh. I mean, clever, sure, but...this experiment was supposed to be about real darkness, not Wallace's cunning and Rider Strong's excessive volume. I mean, it would have been a lot truer to the stated premise of the experiment if we'd seen Wallace and Logan flirting with anything uglier than eating pig's knuckles. Okay, that's pretty ugly, but still. The point is, which of these students is walking away from this experiment with any degree of surprise at how he behaved? The best part, though, is that Rider Strong wasn't in on Wallace's plan. Heh. Wallace salutes Logan.
Veronica's eating cereal when Keith arrives home with a "'Sup!" Veronica: "I'm not acknowledging that." On the one hand, it seems odd that Keith is so cheery, given how we saw him last. On the other, though, if that little greeting is subtly foreshadowing the return of Casey Gant, I'll forgive just about anything. Speaking of Casey, many posters pointed out how similar the A-plot was to that of "Drinking The Kool-Aid," a comparison with which I totally agree. After lying to Keith about what she's looking at on her laptop, a VMVO tells us that Veronica's learned this: Chip ("Diller" is his surname) has been in proximity to more than one rape victim, the Safe Ride Home is possibly a misnomer, and someone in the Theta Betas had the keys to Parker's room at some point: "It's a start."
And now we find out that what was really in Kendall's briefcase was a painting -- van Gogh's "Two Lovers." I hate to show Marjorie up, but I think that's the definition of irony. I'm glad it wasn't cash, at least, as it seemed to me last week. First we have Keith, wearing the same outfit in the scene just now with Veronica, presenting the painting to some dealer or something. Then, in flashback, we see Kendall opening the briefcase at the end of last season. Then we see Keith telling the dealer that he knows the painting is worth millions. And then we see Keith presenting the papers associated with the painting and saying that the proceeds from the sale should go to the South Neptune Food Bank. It's nice, I suppose, that South Neptune ends up being the beneficiary of Beaver's speculation, but I'm still not sure Keith should be this cheery when Kendall's barely cold yet. And...I guess that Kendall got the proceeds from Beaver's company, invested the bulk of them in the painting, paid Keith with some of the change, and kept the rest with her, which is the small percentage of her worth that Cormac found. I really wonder how there was time to liquidate the assets of Phoenix Land Trust, give Kendall her share, buy the painting, and catch Keith before he left town. But I'm close to the end, so let's just figure there's a One-Stop Shop for South Neptune real estate and multimillion-dollar works of art. (How'd you like to work in that marketing department?)
Wallace comes into Sociology, sits to Horshack, and tells him that Rider Strong won't be coming to class. Horshack says he knows, since Rider Strong is feeling a cold coming on, so Horshack's taking notes for him. It's too bad Kinney isn't doing a study on chronic doormatitis -- he's missing out on some great material. Horshack says that Rider Strong is a cool guy who just likes to win. You're boring me, Horshack. Horshack asks Wallace where Logan is, and Wallace beams that they'll be seeing him real soon. Kinney starts his lecture, and asks to hear from one of the experiment participants. On cue, Logan, wearing a mask and nothing else, comes running in, and then stops, turns, and salutes Wallace. I'll risk a round of hate mail by agreeing with the posters who opined that Jason Dohring isn't looking quite as ab-tastic as he has in the past. Screencaps don't lie, though. Anyway, Wallace amusingly holds up his hands to cover his view of Logan's naughty bits as a large percentage of the audience bemoans his wasting that opportunity. A good thing about this storyline: I like the Logan/Wallace friendship that's developing. Logan as 09er really doesn't fit the college scene, and Logan and Wallace becoming buds is a good way to start the process of stripping Logan of his 09er identity. (No pun intended that time, shockingly enough.) Anyway, Kinney gives about as good a "God, not AGAIN" exasperated face as you're ever likely to see, and Logan runs out, his flesh-colored underwear unfortunately all too apparent. (And I wanted to get out of that paragraph without making a Zorro reference, but with that mask? Come on.)
We see Veronica in the library, which at least shows that she wasn't anxious to repeat the experiences associated with being a ruthless journalist. She picks up a copy of the paper and sees that her story is the lead article. The subhead tells us about the Botany professor providing the seeds, which makes no sense, since Veronica didn't know about it in time to put it in the story, and I find it hard to believe that even someone with Nish's agenda would leave herself open to a lawsuit by alleging something she heard thirdhand. Veronica looks bummed, and "Sunshine" from earlier walks by and congratulates her with a "Well done, sister!" From the look on Veronica's face, it's like she almost misses high school. In much the same way the Yankees "almost" beat the Tigers this year. See you week!